Avoiding British Faux Pas

The Which Holiday? website has published a list of potential faux pas that travellers should make note of as not to cause offence when holidaying abroad. Just to be a bit different, Fitz (who is due to take over on Falling on A Bruise in the near future but more on that later) and I put our heads together and came up with some potential faux pas that faces anyone who lands at our green and pleasant land.

You should avoid:
Using a mobile phone in a cinema or theatre.
Shaking hands while wearing gloves.
Opening an umbrella indoors.
Putting new shoes on a table
Offering somebody a light for a cigarette after two others
Pointing at people with the index finger
The V sign with the palm towards yourself is the equivalent of giving the finger.
Touching someone to get their attention.
Trying to gain attention of waiter, barperson etc by snapping your fingers
Calling Britain, England as it annoys the hell out of the Scots, Welsh & Irish
Hugging or kissing anybody unless you are a blood relative or married to them.

You should:
Surrender your seat to the elderly, handicapped or pregnant.
Hold a door open rather than let it close in the face of someone following you.
When out with a group, to take turns buying rounds of drinks.
Que quietly and orderly and not moan about how long you have been queing.
When in a pub, not accept service from a barperson before someone who has been waiting longer.
End every request for anything with the word 'Please'.
Write inside cards in black ink
Ask before you smoke in somebodies house and never while someone is eating