One Yanks View Of Britain

Scott Waters visited our country from Florida, staying with family and friends around the country for a few weeks and on his return to America he posted a list of the things that struck him most about the British and Britain on Facebook.

I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here's some of what I learned:

* Almost everyone is very polite
* The food is generally outstanding
* There are no guns
* There are too many narrow stairs
* Everything is just a little bit different
* The pubs close too early
* You'd better like peas, potatoes and sausage
* Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
* Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
* People don't seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government
* Their paper money makes sense, the coins don't
* Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
* Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
* Pants are called "trousers", underwear are "pants" and sweaters are "jumpers"
* The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
* "Fanny" is a naughty word, as is "shag"
* All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
* There's no dress code
* Doors close by themselves, but they don't always open
* They eat with their forks upside down
* There are hardly any cops or police cars
* Everything comes with chips, which are French fries. You put vinegar on them
* Cookies are "biscuits" and potato chips are "crisps"
* Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
* The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
* Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
* If someone buys you a drink you must do the same
* There are no guns
* Avoid British wine and French beer
* Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
* There's no AC
* Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
* You don't have to tip, really!
* You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
* They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven't put them all back up yet
* Everyone enjoys a good joke
* There are no guns
* You can get on a bus and end up in Paris
* Everyone knows more about our history then we do
* Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
* The newspapers can be awful
* Butter and eggs aren't refrigerated
* The money is easy to understand. There are no quarters.
* Cars don't have bumper stickers
* Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
* By law, there are no crappy, old cars
* When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn't lose the "1"
* Cake is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for dessert is pudding, even pudding
* Soccer is a religion, religion is a sport
* Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
* Drinks don't come with ice
* They don't use Bose anything anywhere
* Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
* Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it
* Their coffee is mediocre but their tea is wonderful
* There are still no guns