Welcome to the Christmas Broadcast on behalf of The World's Right Wing Parties.
I would like to start with the story most associated with this time of year, the story of the birth of Baby Jesus which begins with Joseph and Mary traveling from Nazareth to Bethlehem and being turned away by a succession of inn keepers.
Of course, as immigrants, the inn keepers were perfectly right to turn the couple away but one
do-gooder lefty bleeding heart proprietor, instead of telling them to stop taking beds which properly belong to the people of Bethlehem, allowed them to stay in their stable condemning his customers to the inconvenience of the faint sounds of the foreigner howling in pain as she gave birth.
Taking advantage, they not only emptied out the manger to make a makeshift bed for their bastard child born out of wedlock, but they disrupted the animals and made a right mess of the hay.
As usually happens if you let the foreigners in, chaos follows with a massive, bright star lighting up the stable further disrupting the inns paying customers sleep and the stable quickly filling with uninvited shady looking foreign men illegally bringing gold, frankincense and myrrh which they had smuggled through customs and would reduce the value of the commodities, further hitting the wages of Bethlehem's hard working shepherds.
The story does have a happy ending though as good King Herod upheld right wing values by ordering the slaughter of the first-born of all moany, whinging, liberal, anti-Roman traitors and although we in the World Right Wing Party don't condone such action today, well, let's say that if they hadn't been there then they would have been safe.
So we wish you a very Merry Christmas and great New Year to all unless you are a Muslim or a lily livered lefty in which case we say to you go live in North Korea and see how you enjoy the festive season there, commie liberal scum.
Peace To (almost) All
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