I was a great military leader, but an appallingly bad Prime Minister. I beat Napoleon at Waterloo and set in motion Abba's musical career but growing bored of beating on the French, i decided to flout my popularity and image of being the 'Iron Duke' due to my military triumphs and enter politics.I soon found myself leader of the Tory party and then Prime Minister despite not being British but hailing from Dublin in Ireland.
I didn’t even live in Downing Street as i considered it too small and pokey so stayed in my own home at Apsley House.
During my unhappy time as Britain's leader i did find the time to fight a duel with the Earl of Winchelsea after he had a pop at Catholics in which i failed to hit the target which was his big, fat head but more importantly so did he.
I famously hated train rides and avoided them like a Frenchman avoids soapy water and after meeting Vice-Admiral Horatio Nelson,described him as a vain, silly man who disgusted me so in a brilliant display of ineptitude, after my death, they put my body on a train to London and buried me in a sarcophagus in St Paul's Cathedral, right next to Lord Nelson.
Considering all my battles, i died quietly sitting in a chair after suffering a stroke but my legend lives on in Wellington boots, Beef Wellington and having my face on the five pound note.
To top it all, despite being as British as a Pint of Guinness, i was voted number 15 in the BBC's poll of the 100 Greatest Britons, between Alfred The Great and Margaret Thatcher.
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