You can imagine the massive toddler sulk Donald Trump went into when it was announced that he hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize, i imagine that bottom lip stuck out so far that Melania could have used it as a table but the tangerine tyrant must be wondering what he has to do in order to be rewarded for his peaceful intentions.
Sure some people could point to his enabling of a genocide by Israel who he gave £17bn worth of weapons to as well as political and financial backing for a War Criminal which allowed Benjamin Netanyahu to expand the war and klill over 65,000 people and he did chip in with how he could help him ethnically cleanse Gaza but who hasn't done that? Blimey, on my way to work this morning I almost bombed and killed tens of thousands on the Isle of Wight so it's easily done.
He also joined nuclear armed Israel in bombing Iranian nuclear sites in pre-emptive self defence in order to achieve peace because Iran have only been weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon since the early 2000's so it could have been any moment now and better safe than sorry.
At home he has been sending in the military to snatch people off the streets and the annual report by Global Watchdog V-Dem on the global state of democracy have downgraded the United State to an 'Electoral Autocracy' citing Trump pardoning 1,500 criminals who supported him, firing independent agency watchdogs, threatened numerous universities with sanctions, deporting immigrants accused of gang membership without due process and defying court orders, demanding the prosecution of the media and certain adversaries, purging apolitical police and military brass, ignoring laws and deleting federal programs which looks bad when written in a single paragraph but nobody said making America Great Again was going to be easy, if you wanted honesty, facts, breathable air and evidence then America will stay shite, choices people, choices.
Threatening to make Canada an American state while not ruling out military action to seize Greenland and laying claim to the territory of the Panama Canal Zone could all be a stain against his name, in reality the only stain is on his pillow from the Orange clown make up he wears because he has stopped seven wars. Count them..seven.
Ok so one he took credit for was Azerbaijan and Albania who were not at war but they could have been at some point and that between India and Pakistan where he pressured India’s prime minister, Narendra Modi, to write a letter thanking him for solving the conflict for which Modi refused because he hadn't solved anything but then Trump imposed a 50% tariff on India straight afterwards although not Putin's Russia.
Blaming Ukraine for somehow getting themselves invaded, Trump has played the long game with Putin by folding like a cheap deckchair and agreeing to everything Putin demanded and he may have said he would stop it on Day 1 but Putin did give him a lovely painting at a lovely and friendly meeting in Alaska and i am sure the Ukrainians understand that such a present deserves a bit of leeway when it comes to them being murdered by a vastly superior military superpower.
If we are being particular we could go into the sex offences and fraud charges, his links to Jeffrey Epstein and the blatant lies but taken into context, Trump was right to lobby and nominate himself for a Peace Prize.
He even said why do people from Africa come to the USA as they are shithole countries and they should have more people from Norway for which the Norwegian Government replied 'On behalf of Norway: thanks, but no thanks' but that shows Norway always hated Trump anyway, as he pointed out “No matter what I do, they will never give me a Nobel peace prize'.
Maybe JD Vance should just spray paint a bit of old metal tat in gold paint, dangle it off some ribbon and leave it on his desk because he’ll be as thrilled as a toddler in a toy store with it because sure as hell, the marmalade coloured moron isn't going to get a real one anytime soon.
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