Let’s start with the New York Dolls. People talk about us now like we were some kind of grand architectural plan for punk rock. Trust me, there was no plan, just five guys from the outer boroughs who looked like we’d been kicked through a thrift store backwards and came out looking like the baddest broads on the block. We weren't trying to change the world, we were just trying to find a world that wouldn't arrest us for wearing spandex.
I suppose the fact was that we proved you could play three chords, look like a glamorous train wreck and still manage to scare the hell out of your parents. We were the Ghost of Christmas Future for rock and roll, showing everyone that the future was going to be loud, messy, and wearing very uncomfortable shoes. I look at some of these bands today, with their perfectly curated distressed look, and I just want to hand them a tube of cheap lipstick and tell them to try doing this while someone is throwing a beer bottle at your head.
Then came the middle act. The Buster Poindexter years. Believe me, Buster was a riot. I went from being a punk icon to a lounge lizard with a pompadour that defied the laws of physics and gravity. I traded in the torn fishnets for a tuxedo and started singing about rum. It was the ultimate prank. People thought I’d sold out but my philosophy was if they think you’re a punk, become a crooner. If they think you’re a crooner, go play the blues with a jug band. Keep 'em guessing.
Now, we have to talk about the movie. You know the one. Every December, like clockwork, my face pops up on TV screens across the globe, looking like I’ve been plugged into an electric socket and haven't slept since the Eisenhower administration.
Playing the Ghost of Christmas Past in Scrooged wasn't just a gig, it was typecasting. Driving a New York yellow cab, smoking a stogie, and terrorising Bill Murray? That wasn't acting. That was just a typical Saturday night in 1978.
There’s something poetic about being the Ghost of Christmas Past. Because, in a way, I am the Ghost of Christmas Past for a lot of people. I’m the guy who reminds them of that one wild night they can’t quite remember but will never forget.
I did reach the National Treasure phase of my life. The part where people stop throwing things at you and start giving you awards for lifetime achievement. It’s very touching, really. It’s also a great way to remind you that you’re old.
I look at the music industry today, the algorithms, the TikTok dances and it’s all very shiny, very polite and very, very boring.
My legacy, I hope, is a lack of politeness. I hope the legacy I left behind is a reminder that rock and roll is supposed to be a little bit ridiculous.
I’ve been a Doll, a Poindexter, a Ghost, and a Harry Smith. I’ve been a millionaire, a mendicant, and everything in between. And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that the music stays, the clothes eventually go out of style (and then come back in twenty years) so stay gorgeous, darlings, and keep the volume the hell up.
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