Special Guest Blogger: Ilya Ivanov

I was  a professor who specialised in artificial insemination and i was good at it, whilst working as a researcher in the Askania-Nova natural reserve I perfected artificial insemination for horse breeding and was so successful that i could take the sperm from one stallion and use it to fertilise up to 500 mares instead of the usual 20–30 and horse breeders from around the World were clamouring for my services.
Then in 1927, backed by the Soviet government, I attempted to create an entirely new creature from existing representatives of both ends of the human evolutionary spectrum: a hybrid of man and ape and as we share almost 99% of our DNA, i failed to see how it couldn't work.
After years of frustration in pursuit of my 'humanzee', I finally got my chance when the governor of French Guinea gave me free rein to conduct a breeding program at the botanical gardens near the capital of Conakry.
My son and I took two captured female chimpanzees, named Babette and Syvette, held them down with nets and squirted into them human sperm taken from a local man.
Unfortunately for the fate of mankind, neither chimp became pregnant and then nor did a third chimp, Black, who was knocked out with chloroform and inseminated.
So I decided to switch tactics and approached the governor with the idea of introducing chimpanzee sperm into hospitalized women, without their knowledge.
The governor said no so I returned to the Soviet Union and obtained permission to impregnate women there, provided they were willing and kept in isolation for a year.
I did found a volunteer, a woman, identified only as G who wanted to do her bit for science so i got an orangutan named Tarzan but the government officials then got cold feet and reconsidered their support of my experiments and slapped me into prison for alleged counterrevolutionary activities.
Soon after my release, I died from a stroke unfortunately without leaving a humanzee, or a hurangutan, as my legacy.