This is my last blog post for the foreseeable future and i wanted it to be something special and they don't come much more special then an interview with the person who i had constantly berated over the years, the biggest man himself, God.
Mister God is a hard man to track down, he gives his addresses as everywhere and nowhere, present in space and time although i tracked him down to an office in South London.
I began with asking God how he felt when people complained about the basic design of his planet Earth being faulty and potentially dangerous with a terrible atmosphere, an ozone layer that had holes in it and badly designed oceans that overheated.
'Well i made several billion other planets at the same time and they don't have those problems' he answered and shifted uneasily in his seat when i said that we know that he made Earth in six days and did he consider that enough time for adequate safety checks to be carried out but he pointed out that six days was the standard turnaround time for a new planet but each of his came with a 100 million year guarantee with optional after-sales service but beyond that date him, nor any of the employees of God PLC limited, could be held responsible if the inhabitants didn't follow the manufacturer's instructions.
We then moved onto wars being fought in his name and he shook his mighty head and said: 'It's a bit of a liberty to be honest, as if i haven't got enough on my plate already what with answering prayers, blessing America and saving The Queen, i just haven't the time to coordinate Holy wars as well'.
Pressed on why he let's bad things happen to good people and why he didn't stop Hitler he smiled and said that free will is okay for so far but divine pre-ordination trumps everything as clearly set out in the small print of the terms and conditions.
I wanted to press him further on the meaning of life, origins of the Universe and his relationship with other religions but first asked him about his anger management problems as he once almost killed everyone on Earth with floods.
'Yes, i had a real temper as a young man' he admitted 'but i have calmed as i have got older and use less weather phenomena to demonstrate my wrath on my planets inhabitants when they displease me'.
When i pointed out the giant storm which has been raging on Jupiter for over 500 years he shrugged and said 'there are an awful, lot of gay aliens on that place'.
I could sense our time was running short so i asked him about his views on Atheism he said shrugged and said that 'if he didn't exist there would be no Atheists but as there are Atheists...'.
There was then a tap on the door and Angel Gabriel put his head around the door and said that he should come quick as the Queen was digging about inside her toaster with a knife again.
He apologised for cutting the interview short and ordered Gabriel to fetch his winged chariot but as he left i asked him for one final quote and he stopped, thought for a few seconds and said, 'I made every living thing in the heavens and Earth, but i don't get so many complaints from any of my other creations as I do from you human earthlings’.
Friday, 31 January 2020
Sunday, 26 January 2020
51% Get Their Wish This Friday
I didn't vote for Brexit, i still don't want it and refuse to accept the people who throw out the line about it being a democratic vote, my side lost and to just accept it. With that logic i can never moan about the Conservative Government because more people voted for them then the Lib Dems or Labour who i voted for.
They seem to forget that a tad under 49% voted against it and only a bit over 51% voted for it so it was by no means a whacking great majority and the polls show that those figures have closed ever since as the debacle continues.
That said on 31st January at 11pm we are out of the EU but in name only, we have a transition period to flesh out the deal we want with the EU and to make other agreements with other nations which includes America who are already wanting to foist their dodgy chicken and beef on us as well as get their privatising hands on the NHS.
There are plans to 'celebrate' the moment we officially leave the EU but that seems to be going down like a lead balloon and Big Ben will remain bongless and the idea of street parties has been unceremoniously dumped.
As we are leaving the largest common market on the planet is mad enough, but rather than having 'Got Brexit Done', now we have to suck up to some awful regimes to try and get some trade deals done with them and then keep our mouths shut as not to upset them even once the deal has been sealed.
The Government do have plans to commemorate Brexit, as if it was something to be proud of, by unleashing 3 million Brexit 50 pence Brexit coins into circulation, saying: 'Leaving the European Union is a turning point in our history and this coin marks the beginning of this new chapter'.
Some people are threatening to refuse to accept them or hock them into a river but i plan to put any i receive directly into the savings jar for our next holiday in the EU and then change them up into Euro's therefore making sure that they are spent in Europe and then every time i read of job losses, a tanking British economy or sickness caused by Chlorine washed chicken, i can look on at the Spanish donkey or miniature Eiffel Tower on the shelf and remember just how window shakingly stupid 51% of British people were.
They seem to forget that a tad under 49% voted against it and only a bit over 51% voted for it so it was by no means a whacking great majority and the polls show that those figures have closed ever since as the debacle continues.
That said on 31st January at 11pm we are out of the EU but in name only, we have a transition period to flesh out the deal we want with the EU and to make other agreements with other nations which includes America who are already wanting to foist their dodgy chicken and beef on us as well as get their privatising hands on the NHS.
There are plans to 'celebrate' the moment we officially leave the EU but that seems to be going down like a lead balloon and Big Ben will remain bongless and the idea of street parties has been unceremoniously dumped.
As we are leaving the largest common market on the planet is mad enough, but rather than having 'Got Brexit Done', now we have to suck up to some awful regimes to try and get some trade deals done with them and then keep our mouths shut as not to upset them even once the deal has been sealed.
The Government do have plans to commemorate Brexit, as if it was something to be proud of, by unleashing 3 million Brexit 50 pence Brexit coins into circulation, saying: 'Leaving the European Union is a turning point in our history and this coin marks the beginning of this new chapter'.
Some people are threatening to refuse to accept them or hock them into a river but i plan to put any i receive directly into the savings jar for our next holiday in the EU and then change them up into Euro's therefore making sure that they are spent in Europe and then every time i read of job losses, a tanking British economy or sickness caused by Chlorine washed chicken, i can look on at the Spanish donkey or miniature Eiffel Tower on the shelf and remember just how window shakingly stupid 51% of British people were.
Friday, 24 January 2020
Virus Corona Beer
With hundreds of cases in China and now suspected cases in other countries, it is quite proper to be concerned about the Corona Virus but the authorities may need to explain it a bit more because one of the largest Google searches has been for Corona Beer Virus.
With only 24 days gone and already hearing of Australian bushfires, Iran and USA tensions, Coronavirus and the Doomsday Clock being being moved to within 100 seconds from midnight, you may have had enough of 2020 already but you can relax about Corona Beer because the virus is not passed on by necking bottles of beer.
The lethal strain of Coronavirus is suspected to have been originated from seafood and meat in markets in Wuhan, China but Google trends shows a spike in searches for Coronavirus beer, Corona virus beer and Virus corona beer in the last few days primarily in Australia, India, Canada, Britain and America which may prove the problem of drinking too much Corona beer and having an internet connection.
The World Health Organisation should probably put out a message that there is absolutely zero connection between Corona beer and the Corona Virus, to not only put booze addled minds at rest but stop the profits of the unfortunately named Corona Beer from plummeting.
With only 24 days gone and already hearing of Australian bushfires, Iran and USA tensions, Coronavirus and the Doomsday Clock being being moved to within 100 seconds from midnight, you may have had enough of 2020 already but you can relax about Corona Beer because the virus is not passed on by necking bottles of beer.
The lethal strain of Coronavirus is suspected to have been originated from seafood and meat in markets in Wuhan, China but Google trends shows a spike in searches for Coronavirus beer, Corona virus beer and Virus corona beer in the last few days primarily in Australia, India, Canada, Britain and America which may prove the problem of drinking too much Corona beer and having an internet connection.
The World Health Organisation should probably put out a message that there is absolutely zero connection between Corona beer and the Corona Virus, to not only put booze addled minds at rest but stop the profits of the unfortunately named Corona Beer from plummeting.
Wednesday, 22 January 2020
Climate Change Denier Protecting Himself From Climate Change
Not enough that he was going to get shown up by a teenage girl with pigtails, Donald Trump has burnished his reputation as the World's biggest climate change denier by making an embarrassing speech at the World Economic Forum in Davos calling those urging more action on climate change 'perennial prophets of doom' and the 'heirs of yesterday's foolish fortune tellers'.
Believing Climate Change to be a Chinese hoax to make American manufacturing non-competitive, the Orange moron has previously said that: 'Global warming is a total, and very expensive, hoax and Americans should 'not be distracted by the expensive hoax that is global warming' and that it was a ridiculous situation for a president to be worried about global warming with it's 'ridiculous rules and regulations' and 'any small increase in global temperatures is nothing to worry about'.
I'm guessing then that it is a completely different Donald Trump who applied for planning permission to build large sea defences at his golf courses in Scotland and Ireland, citing on his application that the defences were necessary: 'because of global warming and rising sea levels'.
Hmmm...seems it is the same Donald Trump after all, the one who is happy to let his own country get savaged by the extreme weather that Global Warming brings but also wants to protect his businesses from the same Global Warming that he denies exists.
Believing Climate Change to be a Chinese hoax to make American manufacturing non-competitive, the Orange moron has previously said that: 'Global warming is a total, and very expensive, hoax and Americans should 'not be distracted by the expensive hoax that is global warming' and that it was a ridiculous situation for a president to be worried about global warming with it's 'ridiculous rules and regulations' and 'any small increase in global temperatures is nothing to worry about'.
I'm guessing then that it is a completely different Donald Trump who applied for planning permission to build large sea defences at his golf courses in Scotland and Ireland, citing on his application that the defences were necessary: 'because of global warming and rising sea levels'.
Hmmm...seems it is the same Donald Trump after all, the one who is happy to let his own country get savaged by the extreme weather that Global Warming brings but also wants to protect his businesses from the same Global Warming that he denies exists.
Monday, 20 January 2020
Blue Monday, How I Hate Blue Monday
Today is the third Monday in January so grab a glass of something bland and let's celebrate the most depressing day of the year, Blue Monday.
According to whoever came up with it, the third Monday is chosen due to it being cold, dark and probably raining, we are skint after Christmas and January is a five week month so payday is even further away, we have failed on our New Year resolutions and we are very, very tired and for anyone Self-Employed, the tax bill is due at the end of the month.
Of course it is all pseudoscience and i'd like to think that nobody takes it that serious although i have heard medical experts make the case that describing it as 'depressing' is inappropriate to people suffering real depression so point taken and i am happy to go with bleak, dismal, dreary, gloomy, joyless, melancholy or even somber Monday to avoid any undue distress.
The good news is that the days are beginning to lengthen, the bountifulness of spring is just around the corner when the weather will improve and for some people, today will be the best days of their lives for a multitude of reasons and if you are one of them, you're supposed to be miserable today - get with the program, yeesh!
Still, it's only 340 days to Christmas.
According to whoever came up with it, the third Monday is chosen due to it being cold, dark and probably raining, we are skint after Christmas and January is a five week month so payday is even further away, we have failed on our New Year resolutions and we are very, very tired and for anyone Self-Employed, the tax bill is due at the end of the month.
Of course it is all pseudoscience and i'd like to think that nobody takes it that serious although i have heard medical experts make the case that describing it as 'depressing' is inappropriate to people suffering real depression so point taken and i am happy to go with bleak, dismal, dreary, gloomy, joyless, melancholy or even somber Monday to avoid any undue distress.
The good news is that the days are beginning to lengthen, the bountifulness of spring is just around the corner when the weather will improve and for some people, today will be the best days of their lives for a multitude of reasons and if you are one of them, you're supposed to be miserable today - get with the program, yeesh!
Still, it's only 340 days to Christmas.
Sunday, 19 January 2020
Well Done Harry & Meghan
Well the Duke and Duchess have shut us up, all the things us anti-Royalists moaned about their decision to step away from Royal Life they agreed to.
So we said they can't use their Royal titles if they won't be doing Royal duties and they won't so we then said ok then, but if you want to be financially independent you can't get taxpayers money and they said fine, we won't get any money from the royal purse.
Getting desperate we then said yeah, well, what about the £2.4 million of taxpayers money spent on your home at Frogmore Cottage and bugger me they said they will repay it back to us.
In a fit of pique at them being so bloody amiable we said what about the Charities you head and are now leaving in limbo you selfish sods to which they said they would continue to maintain their private patronages without payment so any visits made as patrons will be as private
individuals and not on behalf of the Queen.
Brilliant play by Harry and Meghan, i seriously wish you all the best, well done.
So we said they can't use their Royal titles if they won't be doing Royal duties and they won't so we then said ok then, but if you want to be financially independent you can't get taxpayers money and they said fine, we won't get any money from the royal purse.
Getting desperate we then said yeah, well, what about the £2.4 million of taxpayers money spent on your home at Frogmore Cottage and bugger me they said they will repay it back to us.
In a fit of pique at them being so bloody amiable we said what about the Charities you head and are now leaving in limbo you selfish sods to which they said they would continue to maintain their private patronages without payment so any visits made as patrons will be as private
individuals and not on behalf of the Queen.
Brilliant play by Harry and Meghan, i seriously wish you all the best, well done.
Saturday, 18 January 2020
I'm No Clown Says Trump
US President Donald Trump has warned the supreme leader of Iran to watch his language, following a sermon in which Ayatollah Ali Khamenei called the American leader 'a clown'.
The Ayatollah had better watch it, Trump has a squirty flower and he is prepared to use it.
There are unconfirmed reports that he was so angry that he hitched up his too large, spotty trousers, stamped his large feet and jumped into his car but after the doors fell off, instead ran to grab his unicycle but slipped on a banana peel, stood up and slipped on it again.
Melania came to pick him up and after presenting her with a bunch of flowers whipped out from his sleeve, she led him indoors where he made her a beautiful balloon animal to calm down.
'I'm no clown' he uttered honking his horn and adjusting his bright, red nose as he mimed being stuck behind a glass wall and retired to bed saying that when he retires he will leave some big shoes to fill, tiny little gloves but massive shoes.
The Ayatollah had better watch it, Trump has a squirty flower and he is prepared to use it.
There are unconfirmed reports that he was so angry that he hitched up his too large, spotty trousers, stamped his large feet and jumped into his car but after the doors fell off, instead ran to grab his unicycle but slipped on a banana peel, stood up and slipped on it again.
Melania came to pick him up and after presenting her with a bunch of flowers whipped out from his sleeve, she led him indoors where he made her a beautiful balloon animal to calm down.
'I'm no clown' he uttered honking his horn and adjusting his bright, red nose as he mimed being stuck behind a glass wall and retired to bed saying that when he retires he will leave some big shoes to fill, tiny little gloves but massive shoes.
Save Humans, Go Veggie
Something which is obvious, but nobody dare approach, is that there are just too many of us on the Earth with the current population touching 7 billion but how many more of us can our planet sustain?
Based on calculations of the Earth's available resources, the magic figure is 10 billion according to the United Nations Population Division, but that comes with the proviso that our planet can handle 10 billion vegetarians, not that many meat eaters.
The Earth currently has 3.5 billion acres of arable land available which produces approximately 2 billion tons of grains annually and if all that grain was dedicated to feeding humans and none to feed livestock, then 10 billion of us can happily live side by side.
As it is extremely unlikely that everyone will agree to stop eating meat, the maximum carrying capacity of the Earth based on food resources will fall significantly short of 10 billion, somewhere around the 6-7 billion figure which is where we find ourselves now and that is without the complication of arable land becoming infertile due to the consequences of climate change and ensuing desertification and water shortages.
Current projections put the global population at 9 billion by 2050, and 10 billion by 2100 and then we would have reached our absolute limit as far as Earth's capacity to keep us all fed is concerned.
Throw in the issue that an increased population means greater production of the gases that cause global warming and global warming will mean less arable land, then the 10 billion figure is beyond reachable as less and less arable land leads to the current 2 billion tons of grain being reduced and therefore less of us fed.
According to the UN Food and Agriculture Organisation, meat is responsible for 18% of greenhouse gas emissions which is more than all the cars, trucks, planes and ships in the world combined so with every mouthful of cows anus or pigs eyeballs in your burger, you meat eaters are condemning all of us to a slow, painful, hungry demise.
It's time we grabbed the bull by the horn, or rather grab the fork off meat eaters because the population won't stop growing but we can all eat less meat to compensate for it.
Based on calculations of the Earth's available resources, the magic figure is 10 billion according to the United Nations Population Division, but that comes with the proviso that our planet can handle 10 billion vegetarians, not that many meat eaters.
The Earth currently has 3.5 billion acres of arable land available which produces approximately 2 billion tons of grains annually and if all that grain was dedicated to feeding humans and none to feed livestock, then 10 billion of us can happily live side by side.
As it is extremely unlikely that everyone will agree to stop eating meat, the maximum carrying capacity of the Earth based on food resources will fall significantly short of 10 billion, somewhere around the 6-7 billion figure which is where we find ourselves now and that is without the complication of arable land becoming infertile due to the consequences of climate change and ensuing desertification and water shortages.
Current projections put the global population at 9 billion by 2050, and 10 billion by 2100 and then we would have reached our absolute limit as far as Earth's capacity to keep us all fed is concerned.
Throw in the issue that an increased population means greater production of the gases that cause global warming and global warming will mean less arable land, then the 10 billion figure is beyond reachable as less and less arable land leads to the current 2 billion tons of grain being reduced and therefore less of us fed.
According to the UN Food and Agriculture Organisation, meat is responsible for 18% of greenhouse gas emissions which is more than all the cars, trucks, planes and ships in the world combined so with every mouthful of cows anus or pigs eyeballs in your burger, you meat eaters are condemning all of us to a slow, painful, hungry demise.
It's time we grabbed the bull by the horn, or rather grab the fork off meat eaters because the population won't stop growing but we can all eat less meat to compensate for it.
FOAB Banner Pictures 2007 - 2019
2010 and i began getting the top picture made professionally, this one has a GTA feeling to it as i noticed it while watching the IT Boys at work playing it one day and said how cool it looked so they made me this between stealing cars. 
2011 and i was looking to take a swerve to write more music related posts along with the other hippy, tree hugging stuff. I never realised until much later that the guitar pictured is a bass guitar but nobody seemed to notice so i went with it. 
2012 and the picture was depicting a newspaper header style but the 'some you win and some you lose' line is from the Carter USM 'Falling On A Bruise' song which is where i got the title of the blog from, a poetic way of saying people doing the same stupid thing again and again. 
2013 and no real story behind this one, i think it was a painting that i saw and liked so asked if it could be turned into my banner picture.
This one from 2014 was one i was never quite sure of. It was a Pop-Art style and i was shown a few styles and plumped for this one but never really settled with it, too jarring to my eyes and i don't think it lasted that long. 
2015 and this one i really liked a lot, the space theme coupled with the Environment and showing just how fragile the Earth is. I kept this one up for the longest out of all the banner headers.
I tried to change things around for special occasions such as Christmas and i had a few Halloween ones made up but i particularly liked this one from 2016 and used it a few times, suitably creepy.
2018 and completely inspired by the music system in my old car. It was also around the time i became involved more with a radio station hence the old fashioned microphone icon from the 50's and 60s.
2019 and my current, and favourite banner header. As the blog is ending, or rather my personal day to day involvement with it anyway, i asked for a picture with a farewell motif and me watching the Sun setting on the blog name in the middle is perfect.Friday, 17 January 2020
Festive Winners and Losers
The festive shopping period is make or break for many retailers and the results are in and we can expect another culling of our shopping centres soon but the shop workers from which retailers should be nervously waiting for an announcement.
John Lewis’s 81,000 staff face a nervous wait after a poor Christmas period with profits down fell 2% while Waitrose, also owned by John Lewis barely scrapped a profit of 0.4% so not all rosy there and their senior partner has already left to spend more time with her family.
Shares in Marks & Spencer dropped on news that sales dropped by 1.7% over the Christmas period although the staff at the M&S Food halls should feel a little more optimistic as sales there were up 1.4%.
Superdry, already under pressure, issued a profit warning after sales fell 15.8% so staff there would be safe to start worrying as probably should Argos staff who saw sales finishing down 0.7% .
Another company to issue a profit warning was Card Factory who blamed quiet high streets for weaker than expected sales and Morrisons called the Festive period an 'unusually challenging period' to explain why there sales slid by 1.7% which is worse than the 0.2% drop suffered by the UK’s biggest retailer, Tesco.
It was not all doom and gloom though because some retailers found the period great for sales and nothing says Christmas like a Vegan sausage roll which Greggs said was one of the factors that sales were up 8.7% and why they are handing 25,000 employees a special £300 bonus.
Next also bucked the gloom as it reported sales growth of 5.2% and German supermarkets Aldi and Lidl trounced the mainstream supermarket chains with Lidl sales jumping 11% over the period and Aldi’s sales up 7.9%
Budget home furnishings chain Dunelm put their 5% rise in sales down to pinching customers from John Lewis which is a big clue to where John Lewis staff should be sending their CV's.
John Lewis’s 81,000 staff face a nervous wait after a poor Christmas period with profits down fell 2% while Waitrose, also owned by John Lewis barely scrapped a profit of 0.4% so not all rosy there and their senior partner has already left to spend more time with her family.
Shares in Marks & Spencer dropped on news that sales dropped by 1.7% over the Christmas period although the staff at the M&S Food halls should feel a little more optimistic as sales there were up 1.4%.
Superdry, already under pressure, issued a profit warning after sales fell 15.8% so staff there would be safe to start worrying as probably should Argos staff who saw sales finishing down 0.7% .
Another company to issue a profit warning was Card Factory who blamed quiet high streets for weaker than expected sales and Morrisons called the Festive period an 'unusually challenging period' to explain why there sales slid by 1.7% which is worse than the 0.2% drop suffered by the UK’s biggest retailer, Tesco.
It was not all doom and gloom though because some retailers found the period great for sales and nothing says Christmas like a Vegan sausage roll which Greggs said was one of the factors that sales were up 8.7% and why they are handing 25,000 employees a special £300 bonus.
Next also bucked the gloom as it reported sales growth of 5.2% and German supermarkets Aldi and Lidl trounced the mainstream supermarket chains with Lidl sales jumping 11% over the period and Aldi’s sales up 7.9%
Budget home furnishings chain Dunelm put their 5% rise in sales down to pinching customers from John Lewis which is a big clue to where John Lewis staff should be sending their CV's.
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