The first rule of the Spatio Temporis Correctores is that you don't talk about the Spatio Temporis Correctores which means this post is buggered straight away as could be the career of the whistleblower who initially sparked controversy in the scientific community by blowing the lid on Time Travel.
'The assumption was even if we did talk about it, nobody would believe us anyway because our business is subtly correcting things in history so certain events happen in the future' she explained in our late night meeting at a motorway cafe.
She explained how the Spatio Temporis Correctores idea was devised by Aristotle who would philosophise on how historical events determine the future but it wasn't until a combination of Albert Einstein's maths and Nikola Tesla's work with intense magnetic field's that the actual mechanics of time travel to came to fruition.
I prompted her to explain how it worked and she pushed a well thumbed book towards me which contained pages and pages of complicated equations and told me that even she couldn't explain most of what was in there but back at the start they discovered that time itself would not allow direct interference in any events which will change future history but Tesla found a loophole that a single, seemingly inconsequential event would allow the bigger changes to happen if it goes through enough other events.
I asked for an example and she came up with how in 2036 a physician will invent an inoculation which is given to new born babies which prevents their body developing Cancer cells, therefore ending Cancer but we had to make sure the right couple gave birth to him at the right time and the only time they were ever together was one day when they both went to buy a microwave in an electrical shop in their lunch break at the same time, dating and then marrying and giving birth to the child.
For them to meet there must be a microwave which came about from the Cold War which in turn came about following WW2 which only happened due to WW1 which started after Gavril Princip assassinated the Archduke Ferdinand outside a cafe but he was only outside the cafe because the bomb he threw at the Archduke's car missed because he couldn't get a clear throw.
In the original timeline, the Archduke was killed by the bomb and Princip was seized by the crowd and arrested and handed over to the Austrian's who executed him so never declared war on Serbia and WW1 didn't happen so no WW2 and therefore no events which led to the microwave being invented and the day when both spent their lunch break at their work and never met.
By making sure that he didn't get the clear throw, let's say a group of people deliberately stood in his way as the Archdukes car came into sight, the chain of events which resulted in a Microwave and therefore that fateful meeting happened and the cure for Cancer was not set back hundreds of years and consigning billions of people to an early death.
I sypmathised that nobody will ever know it was thanks to you and she agreed that by going back in time and changing things, to everyone it is business as usual as they didn't know there was an alternative but she did say that such was the uproar over her whistle-blowing that she will have no choice but to go back and not spill the beans after-all and she will as soon as i publish this post on the internet as proof that it happened until the space time equals itself out and the post removes itself, just as she did with lot's of Journalists back in 2009 when we last spoke and she dropped some hints into a post she helped me write.
Invariably, writing that post or having that meeting i don't remember but i guess that's the whole point and shows that it works.
Showing posts with label Time Travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Time Travel. Show all posts
Sunday, 14 August 2022
Time Travel Whistleblower Tell's All
Thursday, 9 September 2021
Don't Cancel Your Plans Just Yet
Got any plans for September 11th, 14th and 26th? If so you may want to make sure you have kept the receipt to get your money back because a time traveller from 2714 has come back to warn us to stay at home those days.
A self proclaimed time traveller has turned up on TikTok and has been the recipient of much ridicule so he has responded with a request for proof by saying 'you still don’t believe I am a real time traveller from the year 2714, so remember these three dates in September'.
Those dates are September 11th when an alien ship lands and kidnaps 4,000 earthlings then on the 14th when the first ever category 6 hurricane slams into the US East Coast and then the 26th September when a chimpanzee is able to talk because of a mutation in its vocal cords.
The time traveller did claim that aliens were going to land on Earth on 11th August and start a war with humanity and i am sure that would have been mentioned on the News and in the papers unless i missed it, the Olympics were on the time so it is possible.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say there won't be 4,000 missing humans, the inhabitants of the US East Coast won't need to strap themselves in from a Category 6 hurricane and a chimp won't be verbally explaining the best way to peel a banana but boy will my face be red if i wake up on the 11th and find myself and 3,999 others in a spaceship destined for Alpha Centuri.
Friday, 25 May 2018
Back to the Future
'If there is such a thing as time travel' people say to me, 'how come we aren't seeing people from the future here today?'
I point them to the HG Wells Laws of Time Travel which states that you shouldn't do or say anything which may cause a ripple which results in them being stuck in the today without being able to return to their own time so they just observe silently so you wouldn't know if they were here or not.
That doesn't mean that some time travellers don't take a chance and try and warn us about future events and luckily for us 2018 seems to be a bonanza time for people travelling back to warn us.
People like Noah Novak who came from 2070 to tell us we can look forward to another four years of Trump presidency, as he wins a second term in office and in 2028 the first manned mission to Mars will successfully take place.
In March 2018, a purported time traveller known as W.D. Davis stated that he had arrived from the year 2200 and announced that future humans had developed a miracle food pellet which had eradicated world hunger, cancer had been cured and the average human life expectancy was around 200 years and people were living on Mars.
In December 2017, a man claimed to have travelled to 3207 as part of a top secret project by the Greek military to study a future war between humans and artificial intelligence but he only stayed for two days before coming back but was unable to give any details of what 3207 will be like.
It is not just the Greeks sending agents to the future as the American military sent an agent called 'Clara' to 3780 to bring back future technology for unknown, secret purposes.
If the Greeks were at the vanguard of fighting errant AI in 3207 it was still going on in 4000 according to 'John' who spent six years living in the future tackling AI running amok.
John stated in 4000 there are flying cars, birds, cats and dogs are almost extinct and can only be seen in zoos.
A thousand years forward in 5000 is where 'Edward' came from and as proof he bought a photo of Los Angeles submerged under the Ocean due to the melted polar ice caps with humanity surviving by floating on the waters in cities on huge wooden platforms.
Even further to travel has James Oliver who came back from 6491 and from another Solar System where humans have set up home but due to a malfunction with his ship when the time travel transmission was interrupted, he is stuck in the present until he fixes his transport home.
William Taylor was sent to 8937 by the British military to have a bit of a nosey around and reported back that humans as we know them have been replaced by part-human, part-robot species that enjoy eternal life. Unfortunately all the photos he took of this future world were confiscated by UK intelligence services on his return.
The furthest humans have gone into the future is 9428 where the Soviet Union sent an agent in 1987 to look for new weapons on a fact finding mission but little is known about his mission.
The future isn't looking so great according to the people who have been there with killer AI and cities disappearing under the oceans but if you see a man tinkering with a time travelling space ship then be nice and offer him your jump leads.
I point them to the HG Wells Laws of Time Travel which states that you shouldn't do or say anything which may cause a ripple which results in them being stuck in the today without being able to return to their own time so they just observe silently so you wouldn't know if they were here or not.
That doesn't mean that some time travellers don't take a chance and try and warn us about future events and luckily for us 2018 seems to be a bonanza time for people travelling back to warn us.
People like Noah Novak who came from 2070 to tell us we can look forward to another four years of Trump presidency, as he wins a second term in office and in 2028 the first manned mission to Mars will successfully take place.
In March 2018, a purported time traveller known as W.D. Davis stated that he had arrived from the year 2200 and announced that future humans had developed a miracle food pellet which had eradicated world hunger, cancer had been cured and the average human life expectancy was around 200 years and people were living on Mars.
In December 2017, a man claimed to have travelled to 3207 as part of a top secret project by the Greek military to study a future war between humans and artificial intelligence but he only stayed for two days before coming back but was unable to give any details of what 3207 will be like.
It is not just the Greeks sending agents to the future as the American military sent an agent called 'Clara' to 3780 to bring back future technology for unknown, secret purposes.
If the Greeks were at the vanguard of fighting errant AI in 3207 it was still going on in 4000 according to 'John' who spent six years living in the future tackling AI running amok.
John stated in 4000 there are flying cars, birds, cats and dogs are almost extinct and can only be seen in zoos.
A thousand years forward in 5000 is where 'Edward' came from and as proof he bought a photo of Los Angeles submerged under the Ocean due to the melted polar ice caps with humanity surviving by floating on the waters in cities on huge wooden platforms.
Even further to travel has James Oliver who came back from 6491 and from another Solar System where humans have set up home but due to a malfunction with his ship when the time travel transmission was interrupted, he is stuck in the present until he fixes his transport home.
William Taylor was sent to 8937 by the British military to have a bit of a nosey around and reported back that humans as we know them have been replaced by part-human, part-robot species that enjoy eternal life. Unfortunately all the photos he took of this future world were confiscated by UK intelligence services on his return.
The furthest humans have gone into the future is 9428 where the Soviet Union sent an agent in 1987 to look for new weapons on a fact finding mission but little is known about his mission.
The future isn't looking so great according to the people who have been there with killer AI and cities disappearing under the oceans but if you see a man tinkering with a time travelling space ship then be nice and offer him your jump leads.
Sunday, 6 May 2018
The Laws of Time Travel
Up until now my greatest achievement with my time machine was going to the Patent Office in Bern in 1904 and handing the lowly Patent Clerk with the bad hair an explanation of the Special Theory Of Relativity although i had to go back a further time to tell him it's E=mc2 and not E=mcmc, dummkopf.
Anyway, that turned out okay in the end but as another academic year draws to a close, an elite group of scientists and i plan to spend August putting right things that once went wrong as i explained next June.
The biggest problem with time travel is that things can go horribly wrong when we travel backwards, forwards, or sideways in time so as HG Wells is the most notable authority on Time Travel i could think of, i invited him to come up with the Laws of Time Travel to provide a helpful guide for anyone who finds themselves travelling in time.
Law 1) Don't Kill Anyone
Since half the humans who have ever lived are alive today, most of the people in the past are related to people in the present in some way and you will have no way of knowing who is a descendant of yours so you could find yourself either blinking out of existence or even worse stuck in a paradox loop if the person you killed turns out to be an ancestor of someone who helped invent your time machine so to stay safe, don't kill anyone.
Law 2) Don't Change The Long-Ago
Changing the past too far back in the past is generally held to not be a good idea as you don't know what the repercussions could be. What if you go back to Prehistoric times and somehow prevented the first fish that crawled onto the land or turn up at the Great Fire of London and helped put out the fire before it burned down all the buildings which stopped the Black Death which rather then ending there would in turn flourish and kill more people, one of which could be a descendant of yours or someone who helped invent your time machine and Law 1 is back in the game.
Law 3) Avoid Meeting Yourself
Go back 25 years and as far as the younger you is concerned, they are meeting your older self for the first time and hearing what will happen in the next 25 years. The danger is the younger you will assume that their future is predetermined and may not do the future things that bought you to the situation where you could go back 25 years to tell them in which case the meeting wouldn't happen and your past would change and you wouldn't have a time machine and you are once again stuck in the Law 1 paradox loop and even worse, stuck 25 years in the past with your younger, whinier self.
Law 4) Don't Say Anything
Since every action has an equal and unintended reaction, it is best not to say anything when you're in the past or the future.
If you let slip something that changes the course of future events then the consequences could be terrible. Imagine letting slip the words 'World War 2' just after World War 1 had ended or discussed 'Climate Change' before the inventions that the Industrial Revolution gave us such as the internal combustion engine or the components for your time machine and yep, hello Law 1 and that damned
paradox loop again.
Law 5) Travel Forward Rather Than Backwards
As doing anything in the past may very well have unintended consequences on the present and that frustrating Law 1, you can mess about with the future as much as you like as it hasn't happened yet and if you mess up, you can just come back to the present and not do the thing that messed up the future.
I don't know if Mr Wells had any more time travel laws but it was at this point that i congratulated him on the Invisible Man book and asked him where he got such a brilliant idea of a scientist who invents a way to change the way the body reflects light so that he becomes invisible and after successfully carrying out this procedure on himself, fails in his attempt to reverse it.
It was when he grabbed his notepad and said: 'That would make a brilliant novel' that i realised i has said too much and made my excuses and left.
Oops, at least there was no paradox loop implications even if i must apologise to Bram Stoker who was meant to write that book, sorry.
Anyway, that turned out okay in the end but as another academic year draws to a close, an elite group of scientists and i plan to spend August putting right things that once went wrong as i explained next June.
The biggest problem with time travel is that things can go horribly wrong when we travel backwards, forwards, or sideways in time so as HG Wells is the most notable authority on Time Travel i could think of, i invited him to come up with the Laws of Time Travel to provide a helpful guide for anyone who finds themselves travelling in time.
Law 1) Don't Kill Anyone
Since half the humans who have ever lived are alive today, most of the people in the past are related to people in the present in some way and you will have no way of knowing who is a descendant of yours so you could find yourself either blinking out of existence or even worse stuck in a paradox loop if the person you killed turns out to be an ancestor of someone who helped invent your time machine so to stay safe, don't kill anyone.
Law 2) Don't Change The Long-Ago
Changing the past too far back in the past is generally held to not be a good idea as you don't know what the repercussions could be. What if you go back to Prehistoric times and somehow prevented the first fish that crawled onto the land or turn up at the Great Fire of London and helped put out the fire before it burned down all the buildings which stopped the Black Death which rather then ending there would in turn flourish and kill more people, one of which could be a descendant of yours or someone who helped invent your time machine and Law 1 is back in the game.
Law 3) Avoid Meeting Yourself
Go back 25 years and as far as the younger you is concerned, they are meeting your older self for the first time and hearing what will happen in the next 25 years. The danger is the younger you will assume that their future is predetermined and may not do the future things that bought you to the situation where you could go back 25 years to tell them in which case the meeting wouldn't happen and your past would change and you wouldn't have a time machine and you are once again stuck in the Law 1 paradox loop and even worse, stuck 25 years in the past with your younger, whinier self.
Law 4) Don't Say Anything
Since every action has an equal and unintended reaction, it is best not to say anything when you're in the past or the future.
If you let slip something that changes the course of future events then the consequences could be terrible. Imagine letting slip the words 'World War 2' just after World War 1 had ended or discussed 'Climate Change' before the inventions that the Industrial Revolution gave us such as the internal combustion engine or the components for your time machine and yep, hello Law 1 and that damned
paradox loop again.
Law 5) Travel Forward Rather Than Backwards
As doing anything in the past may very well have unintended consequences on the present and that frustrating Law 1, you can mess about with the future as much as you like as it hasn't happened yet and if you mess up, you can just come back to the present and not do the thing that messed up the future.
I don't know if Mr Wells had any more time travel laws but it was at this point that i congratulated him on the Invisible Man book and asked him where he got such a brilliant idea of a scientist who invents a way to change the way the body reflects light so that he becomes invisible and after successfully carrying out this procedure on himself, fails in his attempt to reverse it.
It was when he grabbed his notepad and said: 'That would make a brilliant novel' that i realised i has said too much and made my excuses and left.
Oops, at least there was no paradox loop implications even if i must apologise to Bram Stoker who was meant to write that book, sorry.
Friday, 20 January 2017
2017 Looks Good With Trump In Charge
Don't you just hate it when you go to bed in one year and wake up propelled 30 years into the future, well that's exactly what happened to me today.
When i went to bed last night it was the 19th January 1987 and when i woke up it was 20th January 2017 and my wind up alarm clock had been replaced by something called a DAB Radio/Alarm clock and the place on the floor where i threw my Guns N Roses T-Shirt and ripped jeans last night was a neatly folded blouse, pencil skirt and sensible shoes.
The TV was now a slender, long rectangular screen and after searching for the remote control i discovered an older, fatter version of the shy, introverted tea boy i knew from the Streatham and Tooting News presenting a morning TV show and he was chattering about the New American President, his friend no less, being inaugurated today.
While checking out the window to see if flying cars or jet packs had become a reality yet (they hadn't), i saw the Commodore 64 had been replaced by a tall black box and where the shoebox of game cassettes previously sat was now a rack of shiny silver discs.
It took a while to find out how to turn the thing on and the screen confusingly flashed 'WINDOWS' and showed me a screen of small pictures instead of the 'PRESS PLAY ON TAPE' message i was used to seeing.
The Streatham and Tooting News tea boy continued wittering away in the background about something called an Obama and a Trump (did make me smile as i wondered if a trump was still another name for a fart in this strange future year) and i found that if you moved the thing shaped like a bar of soap then the arrow moved on the screen and i directed it towards the picture named Firefox Shortcut and (accidentally) clicked the button on the top which opened up something called a Google but the Google had a flashing cursor so i felt a bit more comfortable and typed in 'TV anchor Streatham and Tooting news tea boy'.
After seeing his name was Piers Morgan and feeling happy that the shy introverted boy had landed a job in TV i typed in 'US Presidential Inauguration'.
Seems since i had been asleep Ronald Reagan had been replaced by a George Bush, then a Bill Clinton, then George Bush again, then Barack Obama and now Donald Trump (snigger) was about to become President.
There were a lot of blue paragraphs on the Google which showed that judging by all the references to him grabbing pussies he obviously liked cats which was a good start and when i saw he enjoyed Tweeting regularly, well you can't hold anything against a person who does bird impressions.
The Streatham and Tooting News tea boy was showing a picture of Donald Trump shaking hands with the latest Soviet Union leader called Putin and they seemed very happy and smiley together so i guess the Cold War is over, especially as the tea-boy explained that the Russian had helped Trump become President and a bit of cooperation between previous enemies is always nice, he had even organised a peace party for him in a Moscow Hotel, i think he said peace party anyway.
I ended up reading that the Trump (snigger) had built many hotels and when he was President he said that he would build walls in America and Mexico so it's good to see that he will get his hands dirty and won't lose his building trade skills.
As is usual with these leaps, i didn't have very long in the future and before i had chance to see if a promising singer named Madonna ever went on to do anything, the flashing white light came to bring me back to 1987 but i just had time to type this out and leave it here on the WINDOWS for the 2017 version of me to read and let me know that as i understand it, the World in 2017 seems in good hands with the Pussy grabbing wall builder who enjoys a good party piss up at the helm and if he is a friend of that nice, shy and retiring Piers guy, then he must be ok.
When i went to bed last night it was the 19th January 1987 and when i woke up it was 20th January 2017 and my wind up alarm clock had been replaced by something called a DAB Radio/Alarm clock and the place on the floor where i threw my Guns N Roses T-Shirt and ripped jeans last night was a neatly folded blouse, pencil skirt and sensible shoes.
The TV was now a slender, long rectangular screen and after searching for the remote control i discovered an older, fatter version of the shy, introverted tea boy i knew from the Streatham and Tooting News presenting a morning TV show and he was chattering about the New American President, his friend no less, being inaugurated today.
While checking out the window to see if flying cars or jet packs had become a reality yet (they hadn't), i saw the Commodore 64 had been replaced by a tall black box and where the shoebox of game cassettes previously sat was now a rack of shiny silver discs.
It took a while to find out how to turn the thing on and the screen confusingly flashed 'WINDOWS' and showed me a screen of small pictures instead of the 'PRESS PLAY ON TAPE' message i was used to seeing.
The Streatham and Tooting News tea boy continued wittering away in the background about something called an Obama and a Trump (did make me smile as i wondered if a trump was still another name for a fart in this strange future year) and i found that if you moved the thing shaped like a bar of soap then the arrow moved on the screen and i directed it towards the picture named Firefox Shortcut and (accidentally) clicked the button on the top which opened up something called a Google but the Google had a flashing cursor so i felt a bit more comfortable and typed in 'TV anchor Streatham and Tooting news tea boy'.
After seeing his name was Piers Morgan and feeling happy that the shy introverted boy had landed a job in TV i typed in 'US Presidential Inauguration'.
Seems since i had been asleep Ronald Reagan had been replaced by a George Bush, then a Bill Clinton, then George Bush again, then Barack Obama and now Donald Trump (snigger) was about to become President.
There were a lot of blue paragraphs on the Google which showed that judging by all the references to him grabbing pussies he obviously liked cats which was a good start and when i saw he enjoyed Tweeting regularly, well you can't hold anything against a person who does bird impressions.
The Streatham and Tooting News tea boy was showing a picture of Donald Trump shaking hands with the latest Soviet Union leader called Putin and they seemed very happy and smiley together so i guess the Cold War is over, especially as the tea-boy explained that the Russian had helped Trump become President and a bit of cooperation between previous enemies is always nice, he had even organised a peace party for him in a Moscow Hotel, i think he said peace party anyway.
I ended up reading that the Trump (snigger) had built many hotels and when he was President he said that he would build walls in America and Mexico so it's good to see that he will get his hands dirty and won't lose his building trade skills.
As is usual with these leaps, i didn't have very long in the future and before i had chance to see if a promising singer named Madonna ever went on to do anything, the flashing white light came to bring me back to 1987 but i just had time to type this out and leave it here on the WINDOWS for the 2017 version of me to read and let me know that as i understand it, the World in 2017 seems in good hands with the Pussy grabbing wall builder who enjoys a good party piss up at the helm and if he is a friend of that nice, shy and retiring Piers guy, then he must be ok.
Sunday, 27 March 2016
Clocks Go Forward
Today is Easter Sunday. Happy Easter.
It also marked the bi-annual changing of the clocks so this time they went forward and we all lost an hour but in a remarkable error, i accidentally got carried away and put the clocks forward to 2018. Doh!
As i am here i decided to take a look around and buy a newspaper to catch up with what is happening in 2018.
The newspaper headline was 'Record numbers of American's are sneaking into Mexico for jobs. Trump builds wall to keep them in' which answered my question about who won the Presidency race.
On the inside page was a piece about archaeologists finding the missing final page from the bible which says 'all characters are fictional and any resemblance with anyone living or dead is coincidental'.
The 2018 Helsinki Climate Summit ended with an agreement to sign a pledge to hold another meeting to consider changing course at a date yet to be determined' and in a surprising turn up, Osama Bin Laden sent out a new video to prove he was still alive.
In it he mentions Liverpool's poor run of form which has seen them slip down the league recently but British intelligence dismissed it saying: 'That could have been recorded anytime in the last 8 years'.
I just had time to read that Prime Minister Boris Johnson was excited when the newest British city was to be named after him until someone pointed out that there was already a place called Twatt in the Orkney Islands.
It also marked the bi-annual changing of the clocks so this time they went forward and we all lost an hour but in a remarkable error, i accidentally got carried away and put the clocks forward to 2018. Doh!
As i am here i decided to take a look around and buy a newspaper to catch up with what is happening in 2018.
The newspaper headline was 'Record numbers of American's are sneaking into Mexico for jobs. Trump builds wall to keep them in' which answered my question about who won the Presidency race.
On the inside page was a piece about archaeologists finding the missing final page from the bible which says 'all characters are fictional and any resemblance with anyone living or dead is coincidental'.
The 2018 Helsinki Climate Summit ended with an agreement to sign a pledge to hold another meeting to consider changing course at a date yet to be determined' and in a surprising turn up, Osama Bin Laden sent out a new video to prove he was still alive.
In it he mentions Liverpool's poor run of form which has seen them slip down the league recently but British intelligence dismissed it saying: 'That could have been recorded anytime in the last 8 years'.
I just had time to read that Prime Minister Boris Johnson was excited when the newest British city was to be named after him until someone pointed out that there was already a place called Twatt in the Orkney Islands.
Thursday, 10 March 2016
History Revisited
A popular game amongst history students is if you could back in time to prevent something happening, what would you do.
By far the most common answer is to stop Hitler, either by killing him before he became the top Nazi or for the more imaginative, preventing his parents ever getting together so he would be born in the first place.
Of course by preventing the second World War and 25 million deaths you would still have the first World War and the 18 million deaths that caused.
The better answer would therefore be to go back and stop whoever or whatever sparked the first world war so that would be Gavrilo Princip who assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand when his car stopped outside the cafe he was sat outside of which sparkled off the whole thing which led to the second war.
That's 43 million deaths over the two wars prevented simply by making sure the young Princip went to another cafe that day or delayed enough that he wasn't sat outside when Ferdinand's car stalled.
As with time travel though, things are not that simple because of time ripples and anything that happens in the past changes the course of history.
So let's consider that we go back, find Gavrilo on his way to that cafe and we 'accidently' tip a bucket of cold water over him forcing him to go home and change so he is not sat outside the cafe drinking coffee which means the Archduke remains alive and Austria doesn't declare war on Serbia to start the chain of events which ends with a nuclear weapon being dropped on Japan and a Cold War between East and West.
Everybody happy and instead of trench warfare and a wall built across Berlin, it's sunshine and lollipops.
It would mean of course that the woman's movement would not have happened or at least put back for a few more decades as would the Civil Rights Movement in America while the Soviets would probably not have launched Yuri Gagarin and Vostok 1 until much later which would have delayed Appollo 11 and Neil Armstrong making the giant leap for mankind.
A delayed Space adventure would also mean a delay in satellites so SatNavs, accurate weather forecasts, technical communications and TV beamed around the globe decades would arrive far later than when we did get them.
The internet came around as a way to keep communications open during a nuclear attack but no cold war would mean no need for nuclear safety so the internet may still have came around but not for some time later as would the computer which was invented to aid the breaking German U-boat codes.
Fleming's discovery of penicillin in 1928 was initially over-looked and was only made into an effective drug in WW2 when medical researchers were seeking a method of infection control in troops. It may well have been noted for it's medical properties later but without the war it may well have stayed on the shelf and not in hospitals and medicine cabinets saving lives today.
It is amazing to think how different 2016 would be if one young Serbian rebel rouser had not stopped for a coffee or if a time traveler armed with a bucket of water dampens him before he gets there.
By far the most common answer is to stop Hitler, either by killing him before he became the top Nazi or for the more imaginative, preventing his parents ever getting together so he would be born in the first place.
Of course by preventing the second World War and 25 million deaths you would still have the first World War and the 18 million deaths that caused.
The better answer would therefore be to go back and stop whoever or whatever sparked the first world war so that would be Gavrilo Princip who assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand when his car stopped outside the cafe he was sat outside of which sparkled off the whole thing which led to the second war.
That's 43 million deaths over the two wars prevented simply by making sure the young Princip went to another cafe that day or delayed enough that he wasn't sat outside when Ferdinand's car stalled.
As with time travel though, things are not that simple because of time ripples and anything that happens in the past changes the course of history.
So let's consider that we go back, find Gavrilo on his way to that cafe and we 'accidently' tip a bucket of cold water over him forcing him to go home and change so he is not sat outside the cafe drinking coffee which means the Archduke remains alive and Austria doesn't declare war on Serbia to start the chain of events which ends with a nuclear weapon being dropped on Japan and a Cold War between East and West.
Everybody happy and instead of trench warfare and a wall built across Berlin, it's sunshine and lollipops.
It would mean of course that the woman's movement would not have happened or at least put back for a few more decades as would the Civil Rights Movement in America while the Soviets would probably not have launched Yuri Gagarin and Vostok 1 until much later which would have delayed Appollo 11 and Neil Armstrong making the giant leap for mankind.
A delayed Space adventure would also mean a delay in satellites so SatNavs, accurate weather forecasts, technical communications and TV beamed around the globe decades would arrive far later than when we did get them.
The internet came around as a way to keep communications open during a nuclear attack but no cold war would mean no need for nuclear safety so the internet may still have came around but not for some time later as would the computer which was invented to aid the breaking German U-boat codes.
Fleming's discovery of penicillin in 1928 was initially over-looked and was only made into an effective drug in WW2 when medical researchers were seeking a method of infection control in troops. It may well have been noted for it's medical properties later but without the war it may well have stayed on the shelf and not in hospitals and medicine cabinets saving lives today.
It is amazing to think how different 2016 would be if one young Serbian rebel rouser had not stopped for a coffee or if a time traveler armed with a bucket of water dampens him before he gets there.
Wednesday, 14 October 2015
Using The Bootstrap Paradox
This weeks Doctor Who had a strange introduction with the Doctor struggling with the Bootstrap Paradox.
He said that he went back to see Beethoven but he wasn't much of a music writer so he noted down his 5th Symphony which he then played and became famous with.
The headache comes because the Doctor could only write it down because he had heard Beethoven play it but Beethoven had only played it because the Doctor had written it down for him but the Doctor had only written it down because he had heard Beethoven play it...and so on.
I have always planned to go back to the late 80s and hand the famous Hanson song 'Sweet Child Of Mine' to a semi-famous band like Guns 'N' Roses who would do a much better job of it, the song is crying out for loud, screeching guitar solo and i am sure someone like Slash could do a much better job on his Les Paul Guitar of that pathetic mid-song recorder solo by the Hanson's.
Anyway, first chance i get i will do it and hopefully make Guns 'N' Roses famous (and Hanson don't rise to the stratospheric heights where they currently sit which would be a bonus), but i hope i have more luck then i did with handing the most famous Heavy Metal song of all time, Copacabana, to Led Zeppelin.
They didn't fancy it and as a punishment i gave it to some young guy called Barry Manilow who i feel will do it justice, hard rock style so keep your ears open.
That's what is so good about the Bootstrap Paradox, you can take something back in time and give it to someone else so for example, for giggles, write down the theory of relativity and give it to the janitor or whisper the idea of a singing competition the public vote for the winner to the record companies tea boy.
He said that he went back to see Beethoven but he wasn't much of a music writer so he noted down his 5th Symphony which he then played and became famous with.
The headache comes because the Doctor could only write it down because he had heard Beethoven play it but Beethoven had only played it because the Doctor had written it down for him but the Doctor had only written it down because he had heard Beethoven play it...and so on.
I have always planned to go back to the late 80s and hand the famous Hanson song 'Sweet Child Of Mine' to a semi-famous band like Guns 'N' Roses who would do a much better job of it, the song is crying out for loud, screeching guitar solo and i am sure someone like Slash could do a much better job on his Les Paul Guitar of that pathetic mid-song recorder solo by the Hanson's.
Anyway, first chance i get i will do it and hopefully make Guns 'N' Roses famous (and Hanson don't rise to the stratospheric heights where they currently sit which would be a bonus), but i hope i have more luck then i did with handing the most famous Heavy Metal song of all time, Copacabana, to Led Zeppelin.
They didn't fancy it and as a punishment i gave it to some young guy called Barry Manilow who i feel will do it justice, hard rock style so keep your ears open.
That's what is so good about the Bootstrap Paradox, you can take something back in time and give it to someone else so for example, for giggles, write down the theory of relativity and give it to the janitor or whisper the idea of a singing competition the public vote for the winner to the record companies tea boy.
Thursday, 1 January 2015
Go Cubs: Back To The Future 2
The BBC shows the three Back to The Future Films over the Christmas and apart from being exceptionally great films, in Part 2 Marty McFly is sent 30 years into the future from 1985 and arrived in a time when where there were hover boards zipping around, everyone wore self-lacing shoes and flying cars were the norm. As the year he and the DeLorean turned up in was 2015, it was interesting to see just what they got right about the year we have just turned into.
Flying cars and hover boards were obviously wrong as was self lacing shoes and clothes that blow dry themselves when they get wet. We never quite made it to Jaws 19 either and Queen Diana wasn't going to be visiting Washington DC in 2015.
What they got right was video glasses which is suspiciously similar to Google Glass, voice controlled TVs with multiple screens, video games where you don't need to use your hands, video phone calls, biometric security, clothes that play sounds and scenery TV channels.
Of course as the Doc explains the year 2015 in our reality isn't the same as the 2015 in the Back to the Future as: 'The future hasn't been written yet and every decision that is ever made effects the path of the future. One single turn or deviation would of created an alternate reality'.
So that's why there is no hover boards, flying cars, powered lace shoes or self drying clothes but the film predicts that the Chicago Cubs wins the World Series and after a bit of hunting (and finding out which sport the World Series is) the Cubs are currently 14/1 fifth favourites to take the 2015 title.
I predict there will be a few people brave enough to put their faith in Back To The Future II and back the Cubbies and if they win enough they can research self lacing shoes.
That is is nobody has deviated and created an alternative reality, i hate it when that happens.
Friday, 4 October 2013
The Problem With Time Travel
Headache stuff i agree but cynics say that if time travel was possible then why are we not meeting our fellow humans from the future?
My usual answer is along the lines of how do you know we aren't, it isn't as if they will be wearing a t-shirt advertising they were part of a school-outing on a year 2013 day trip.
I am beginning to develop a new theory though around city regeneration.
Here's the science bit. The building where i live was built in the 1970's, before that it was a row of shops and before that a factory making brooms. If i developed a time machine in my kitchen and went back 50 years, i would turn up amidst tins of spam or 100 foot in the air because time moves but the machine will stay in exactly the same place.
If a professor makes a time machine in his laboratory in Milton Keynes, if he goes back any further than 1967 he will find himself sinking in a field because Milton Keynes wasn't there. If he decides to go forward in time he may well find himself sat on the outside lane of a motorway that's been built since.
There cannot be many places on the planet that a time machine can be built and can safely shift backwards and forwards while staying on the same level of ground (might end up mid air or in a hill) or guaranteed a safe landing (might end up in the sea or a train track) so the places where the school kids from 2114 can end up are very limited.
Of course if you manage to land on your Grandfather then that's a whole other problem.
Friday, 26 July 2013
Proof Of Time Travel
I see a zebra and a window sticker for the film itself and a woman talking on her mobile phone. In 1928. A mobile phone.
Some say she is merely scratching her ear or looking at the size of her feet, it's a man dressed as woman because for whatever reason they needed a lady in that scene and there were only men on the set at that time and he is trying to hide his sideburns or adam's apple.
For me the only plausible theory is that the woman is a time traveller. Yep, that's what i'm going with.
Saturday, 22 December 2012
Changing History
back to the main story but by then you have already read it and find yourself thinking well that was 30 pages i could have missed out.
Anyway, Mr King's tale concerns a man who goes back to stop the Kennedy assassination, I'm guessing he never and will have it confirmed in 500 pages time but King makes the point that if you were to go back in time and change things, nobody would know in the future because to them it is business as usual as they didn't know there was an alternative and that you had gone back and tampered with the order of things.
So for example, if i hadn't used that time portal in the back of my wardrobe to go back to 1952 and assassinate Thomas Rand on his trip to Brighton, he would have developed that faulty flu vaccine that wiped out half of the population of Europe. Today, because Thomas Rand wasn't around to develop the vaccine, half of Europe are alive and well but nobody else knows that.
No-one knows that before last Wednesday, the global superpower was Norway and America was a Third World country devastated by a nuclear attack in 1979 by the Ivory Coast over a dispute which started out over fishing rights.
If i hadn't been at Plymouth docks in 1620 to guide the pilgrims towards taking the Mayflower and not the poorly maintained Oranjebooom ship as planned which sank off the coast of Iceland just days into their trip across the Atlantic, than we wouldn't have the America we know today and Buffy would never had been made. Problem is, nobody else knows these things because this is the norm for everyone.
With this in mind i am writing it here so i have proof that the World is a better place today thanks to me.
In my time portal as soon as i finish typing this, i will first head to the Middle East and start spreading a few stories about an all powerful creator who made the World and sent down his only son to Earth. Maybe introducing religion to that region will calm it down a bit.
Then i plan to move on to 1666 and see if we can wipe out the plague that decimates 95% of the British population by starting a fire in London and then stop off in Serbia around 1914 and see if i can persuade someone to take out the Austrian Archduke Ferdinand before he gets the chance to write that damn annoying song. One final stop in the late 80s to see if i can get someone to put words to and perform my 'Sweet Child Of Mine' tune.
Of course, if i succeed nobody will know because to you, it will not be any different which is why i am writing it here now before i do it so i have proof.
Wish me luck and remember me when you check your history books.
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Grandfather Paradox With Phones
According to the Grandfather Paradox, we will not be able to go back in time and kill our own grandfather because then we wouldn't exist so we wouldn't be here to go back and kill him. I always thought that the theory had a fault because if you went back to a time after your father was born, you could quite safely kill him because you would still be born so if you do develop a time machine and the urge to bump off your Grandad, just wait until a few days after your fathers been born.
Not that i am constructing a flux capacitor and hold any deep seated resentment for past birthdays presents from Grandpa George, but time travel is one of those tantalising ideas.
What if we could go back and talk to ourselves, what would we say?
This all came into my head when i took delivery of my new mobile phone this weekend. Of course i needed a new number and to my reckoning it must be my 5th or 6th new number since i first owned a mobile phone. So what happens to the old numbers and this is where my imagination takes over.
What if i dialled one of my old numbers and what if through some quirk of time space being warped, i answered, me from 2012 calling my Nokia 3210 in 1999. After the initial shock and if the 1999 Lucy didn't just call me a weirdo and hang up on my 2012 self, what would the 43 year old version say to the 30 year old me?
But what if i did tell myself the winning lottery numbers or something which would change my future, i probably wouldn't be sat at home that day dialling myself in 1999 from a new phone to give myself the lottery numbers in the first place so it just couldn't happen and i wouldn't win the lottery. That means i would then be at home that day with my new mobile phone and...
Blimey, complicated stuff this time travel lark, i'm not surprised nobody has worked it out yet!
Not that i am constructing a flux capacitor and hold any deep seated resentment for past birthdays presents from Grandpa George, but time travel is one of those tantalising ideas.
What if we could go back and talk to ourselves, what would we say?
This all came into my head when i took delivery of my new mobile phone this weekend. Of course i needed a new number and to my reckoning it must be my 5th or 6th new number since i first owned a mobile phone. So what happens to the old numbers and this is where my imagination takes over.
What if i dialled one of my old numbers and what if through some quirk of time space being warped, i answered, me from 2012 calling my Nokia 3210 in 1999. After the initial shock and if the 1999 Lucy didn't just call me a weirdo and hang up on my 2012 self, what would the 43 year old version say to the 30 year old me?
But what if i did tell myself the winning lottery numbers or something which would change my future, i probably wouldn't be sat at home that day dialling myself in 1999 from a new phone to give myself the lottery numbers in the first place so it just couldn't happen and i wouldn't win the lottery. That means i would then be at home that day with my new mobile phone and...
Blimey, complicated stuff this time travel lark, i'm not surprised nobody has worked it out yet!
Friday, 23 September 2011
Einstein Wrong
Particle physicists have detect neutrinos traveling faster than light, a feat forbidden by Einstein's theory of special relativity. Pffft, Einstein, what did he know.
According to the more scientific amongst us this is a big deal, a Copernicus moment that raises the possibility of time travel and with no DeLorean or a flux capacitor in sight.
What i don't really understand is why does going faster than the speed of light mean going back in time? I wish I had paid more attention in Science lessons at school but it all seemed very boring at the time.
Prof Mark Lancaster of the University College London Physics and Astrology department explains.
Imagine the neutrinos which are travelling faster than light are a clock and we tell the time by photons light being emitted by this neutrino.
So the neutrino ticks and emits a photon at say 12:00 which takes some time to get to us travelling at the speed of light and it hits your eye and you go OK it's 12:00. The neutrino/clock though is itself moving quicker than the photon in emitted and so will overtake it on the way to you - let's say it overtakes the 12:00 photon and ticks again and emits the 12:01 photon - the 12:01 photon will then reach you BEFORE the 12:00 photon so you are seeing time tick backwards ie you see the clock going 12:01, 12:00, 11:59
Still boring then but like Jennifer Anniston on the L'Oreal adverts, you don't need to understand the science bit to have shiny, beautiful hair or in this case, to go back in time with the weekends European lottery numbers or persuade Simon Cowells grandfather to wear extra tight underpants or even find the man who gave Celine Dion a recording contract and flail him alive before he she gets to sign on the dotted line.
According to the more scientific amongst us this is a big deal, a Copernicus moment that raises the possibility of time travel and with no DeLorean or a flux capacitor in sight.
What i don't really understand is why does going faster than the speed of light mean going back in time? I wish I had paid more attention in Science lessons at school but it all seemed very boring at the time.
Prof Mark Lancaster of the University College London Physics and Astrology department explains.
Imagine the neutrinos which are travelling faster than light are a clock and we tell the time by photons light being emitted by this neutrino.
So the neutrino ticks and emits a photon at say 12:00 which takes some time to get to us travelling at the speed of light and it hits your eye and you go OK it's 12:00. The neutrino/clock though is itself moving quicker than the photon in emitted and so will overtake it on the way to you - let's say it overtakes the 12:00 photon and ticks again and emits the 12:01 photon - the 12:01 photon will then reach you BEFORE the 12:00 photon so you are seeing time tick backwards ie you see the clock going 12:01, 12:00, 11:59
Still boring then but like Jennifer Anniston on the L'Oreal adverts, you don't need to understand the science bit to have shiny, beautiful hair or in this case, to go back in time with the weekends European lottery numbers or persuade Simon Cowells grandfather to wear extra tight underpants or even find the man who gave Celine Dion a recording contract and flail him alive before he she gets to sign on the dotted line.
Saturday, 30 April 2011
A Step Too Far By China
Chinese authorities are known for strictly censoring newspapers, film and TV programs and they have now banned programmes and movies with story lines involving time travel as they 'lack positive thoughts and meaning'.
The guidance, issued by the powerful State Administration of Radio Film and Television (SARFT), will deny the Chinese population of some of the best story lines ever to come from the mind of a writer. And Star Trek IV.
Some of the best movies of the 80s had Time Travel as the central theme, namely the Back to the Future trilogy which i watched recently and enjoyed as much on the 100th viewing as i did sat in a cinema in 1985.
Everyones favourite Christmas movie, A Christmas Carol, will be removed from the tv guide as will both the Bill and Ted films which are silly but have Abraham Lincoln telling us to be excellent to each other and that's pretty cool in any language. Also missing will be films such as The Time Traveler's Wife, Planet of the Apes, The Terminator, Peggy Sue got Married, Evil Dead 3 and Hot Tub Time Machine.
One of the most underrated shows on British television, Goodnight Sweetheart, was about a man who travelled between the 1990's and the East end during WW2 and Dr Who skips across the time space continuum as do Time Squad, Tru Calling and the criminally cut short First Edition.
Probably the greatest time travel programme ever featured Dr. Sam Beckett, a physicist who becomes lost in time following a time travel experiment, temporarily taking the places of other people to put right what once went wrong.
To deny the Chinese people the Back to the Future films and Quantum Leap must surely come under some Human Rights treaty and even being spared those awful Star Trek movies doesn't begin to compensate for it.
Get on it Ban Ki-moon.
Sunday, 22 November 2009
I'll Be Back LHC
As the Large Hadron Collider is back in action there was an amazing comment by a scientist on the BBC this morning who said that the whole idea went 'against nature and would be sabotaged by the future'.
The interviewer allowed this comment to pass but it sparked my imagination into considering a Terminator type situation where people come back in time to stop us making whatever catastrophe is about to befall us.
Nikola Tesla was a believer and Albert Einstein said the 'separation between past, present and future is only an illusion' which shows which side of the time travel fence they sat upon and i never go against the advice of a man who invented an Earthquake machine and a crazy haired German when it comes to all things scientific.
It is actually quite a simple thing to ponder that at some point humans will develop the ability to be able to travel back in time and change things so we could have a popular TV Star voted the US President to stop a female President starting a devastating nuclear war with Russia or making sure that Bin Laden is in the living room of his Pakistan home when the military break into his house or what about if we somehow introduce a TV Soap Star, what the hell, let's make her a mixed race one, and make her the Princess of somewhere like Sussex, into the British Royal's to shake things up a bit.
Think of the technology we had in 1909 compared to what we have in 2009 and us humans have advanced in amazing leaps and bounds. Imagine explaining Satellite Television to someone in 1909 and they would look at you as if you were crazy or tried to tell someone today in 2009 that there is a future invention from someone such as the search engine Google who created an Ai home assistant which can control the electronics in your home by using your voice.
The usual argument from time travel sceptics is why are we not overrun by people from the future coming back to see us? One reason could be that there is nothing worth seeing at this moment in time.
If i had a chance to go back, the most obvious times to choose would be 1914-1919 and 1939-1945 for the wars and 1969 to see the Moon Landing with a stop off in 1991 to see Nirvana live when i had the chance or 2016 to see George Michael or Prince one last time.
Maybe there just hasn't been anything happening so far for them to want to come and see.
I love the idea that our future selves are able to come back and try and either stop us, or let us learn from doing stupid things like eating diseased bats and causing a global pandemic (i'm looking at you China) although i may change my mind if there are reports of leather clad men wielding shotguns on motorbikes saying 'Hasta la vista, baby' riding around Switzerland anytime soon.
The interviewer allowed this comment to pass but it sparked my imagination into considering a Terminator type situation where people come back in time to stop us making whatever catastrophe is about to befall us.
Nikola Tesla was a believer and Albert Einstein said the 'separation between past, present and future is only an illusion' which shows which side of the time travel fence they sat upon and i never go against the advice of a man who invented an Earthquake machine and a crazy haired German when it comes to all things scientific.
It is actually quite a simple thing to ponder that at some point humans will develop the ability to be able to travel back in time and change things so we could have a popular TV Star voted the US President to stop a female President starting a devastating nuclear war with Russia or making sure that Bin Laden is in the living room of his Pakistan home when the military break into his house or what about if we somehow introduce a TV Soap Star, what the hell, let's make her a mixed race one, and make her the Princess of somewhere like Sussex, into the British Royal's to shake things up a bit.
Think of the technology we had in 1909 compared to what we have in 2009 and us humans have advanced in amazing leaps and bounds. Imagine explaining Satellite Television to someone in 1909 and they would look at you as if you were crazy or tried to tell someone today in 2009 that there is a future invention from someone such as the search engine Google who created an Ai home assistant which can control the electronics in your home by using your voice.
The usual argument from time travel sceptics is why are we not overrun by people from the future coming back to see us? One reason could be that there is nothing worth seeing at this moment in time.
If i had a chance to go back, the most obvious times to choose would be 1914-1919 and 1939-1945 for the wars and 1969 to see the Moon Landing with a stop off in 1991 to see Nirvana live when i had the chance or 2016 to see George Michael or Prince one last time.
Maybe there just hasn't been anything happening so far for them to want to come and see.
I love the idea that our future selves are able to come back and try and either stop us, or let us learn from doing stupid things like eating diseased bats and causing a global pandemic (i'm looking at you China) although i may change my mind if there are reports of leather clad men wielding shotguns on motorbikes saying 'Hasta la vista, baby' riding around Switzerland anytime soon.
Friday, 28 August 2009
Back To The Future
I don't know if it's the bus fumes but i do find myself thinking some strange things while sitting in traffic.
What would happen if the world began spinning around the other way?
How many syllables are there in the word horse?
If a surgeon was stranded on a desert island with his surgical tools, how much of himself could he eat?
What did the first person who milked a cow think he was doing?
If i took out my eyes and pointed them at each other, what would i see?
I'm usually sent spinning back to reality by abuse by angry drivers queuing behind me but today i saw an advert for the Time Travellers Wife and i've spent the day pondering what i would do if i could go back in time?
There has been so many films and books about time travel that it is obviously something that has been pondered by many others.
The general theme seems to be to go back and change history in your favour with a person you regret not copping off with at the time or to quote Quantum Leap, to put right what once went wrong.
Yes, that's all very worthy but in reality, i guess the first thing anyone would do is to scrape together as much money as possible and rush down to the bookies.
Maybe after we have made enough money to afford a man to squeeze out our toothpaste for us every morning, our minds may turn to other things.
I'd like to turn up at a record company in 1988 with my guitar and sing them every song that has made number one since 1990 or go to a publisher with a book idea about an island full of dinosaurs that have been resurrected from some pre-historic DNA in tree sap. I'd probably nick the Da Vinci Code and claim it for myself also.
Righting what once went wrong would have to wait, i'd have the back catalogue of REM and Guns 'N' Roses to play to some pony tailed record executive first. Two songs i would make sure i put my name to are 'Time of your life' by Green Day and 'Losing my Religion' by REM.
I'd also pop a letter in the post to Princess Diana and tell her that that she might want to give that Paris trip a miss in 1997.
What would happen if the world began spinning around the other way?
How many syllables are there in the word horse?
If a surgeon was stranded on a desert island with his surgical tools, how much of himself could he eat?
What did the first person who milked a cow think he was doing?
If i took out my eyes and pointed them at each other, what would i see?
I'm usually sent spinning back to reality by abuse by angry drivers queuing behind me but today i saw an advert for the Time Travellers Wife and i've spent the day pondering what i would do if i could go back in time?
There has been so many films and books about time travel that it is obviously something that has been pondered by many others.
The general theme seems to be to go back and change history in your favour with a person you regret not copping off with at the time or to quote Quantum Leap, to put right what once went wrong.
Yes, that's all very worthy but in reality, i guess the first thing anyone would do is to scrape together as much money as possible and rush down to the bookies.
Maybe after we have made enough money to afford a man to squeeze out our toothpaste for us every morning, our minds may turn to other things.
I'd like to turn up at a record company in 1988 with my guitar and sing them every song that has made number one since 1990 or go to a publisher with a book idea about an island full of dinosaurs that have been resurrected from some pre-historic DNA in tree sap. I'd probably nick the Da Vinci Code and claim it for myself also.
Righting what once went wrong would have to wait, i'd have the back catalogue of REM and Guns 'N' Roses to play to some pony tailed record executive first. Two songs i would make sure i put my name to are 'Time of your life' by Green Day and 'Losing my Religion' by REM.
I'd also pop a letter in the post to Princess Diana and tell her that that she might want to give that Paris trip a miss in 1997.
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