Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Super Typhoon Soudelor

Super Typhoon Soudelor is barrelling towards Taiwan, Japan and China and is the most powerful storm of the year with wind gusts up to 220mph.
Widespread damage is expected in East Asia over the coming days as the Typhoon tops the category 5 on the Saffir-Simpson hurricane scale which measures storms with winds over 156mph.
According to the boffins at the National Hurricane Centre, there is no upper limit to wind strength but
physics dictates that based on atmospheric and ocean conditions, the speed is 190mph with wind gusts reaching 231mph.
That puts Typhoon Souldelor almost at the maximum wind speed possible today but as the earth continues to warm resulting in warmer seas which fuel the size and strength of hurricanes, the potential for even more damaging wind speeds increases, 5% for every 1 degree Celsius increase in ocean temperatures.
Just as Australia had to introduce a new temperature scale recently as the heat climbed off the scale, meteorologists will need to introduce a Category 6 as the devastating effects of climate change continue to ramp up.

Sunday, 2 August 2015

Animals Fight Back

It is always amusing when someone who sets out to hurt something then gets hurt themselves and it goes up a level when a hunter ends up the one hurt instead of the animal.
A Texan is currently the proud owner of a wired jaw after he fired his gun at an armadillo and the bullet bounced off the mammal and struck him instead.
He told authorities he fired his gun three times at the armadillo but one of the bullet ricocheted off the animal’s hard-shelled armour and rebounded into his face, breaking his jaw.
There is an even happier ending as the armadillo got away while he made a trip to the local hospital to get his jaw wired.

Saturday, 1 August 2015

Puerto Rico The New Greece

Orange is the new black, Pluto is the new Mars and Puerto Rica is the new Greece as it defaults on its debt repayments.
The island paid just $628,000 toward a $58m debt due to creditors which total $72bn and wheeled out a a poor minion to explain that: 'This was a decision that reflects the serious concerns about the Commonwealth’s liquidity in combination with the balance of obligations to our creditors and the equally important obligations to the people of Puerto Rico' which echoes the Greek argument that they can either pay their own people or their creditors but not both.
The Governor, Alejandro Garcia Padilla, explained last month that Puerto Rico was in a 'death spiral' and it just could not pay back what it owes.
Just as in Greece, the creditors are calling on Puerto Rico to cut spending on education and in other areas in order to meet their obligations and the island has already closed down almost 100 schools so far this year.  
As Greece ended up being totally screwed over the by people it owed money to, forcing privatisation and raising tax rates in return for another loan to cover the last one, Puerto Rico's population can expect the same amount of compassion as it's testicles are metaphorically placed in the vice of Capitalism and the handle slowly turned.

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Copernicus Was Wrong!!

A Saudi Arabian cleric has made an amazing discovery that will redefine science by announcing that his research shows that the Earth isn't spinning and the sun is orbiting us, not the other way around.
Sheikh Bandar al-Khaibari explained that the Earth is stationary and does not move as his research
shows that if it was spinning on its axis as we all thought, aeroplanes would not be able to reach their
Here's the non-science bit.
'If we are going to Sharjah Airport to travel to China by plane, the plane would stop dead in its tracks in mid-air. China would be coming towards it in case the Earth rotates in one direction. If the Earth rotates in the opposite direction, the plane would never reach China, because China is also rotating'. 
The Sheikh then went on to dismiss the traditional Copernican astronomical model, insisting that
any science countering his stationary theory was fabricated.
It could be that something was lost in translation or that he thinks it is still the early 17th Century because otherwise his stupidity is planet sized, a planet that isn't revolving and has a star circling around it obviously.

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Hunting Walter Palmer

Some of the comments levelled at American Dentist, Walter Palmer, after he killed of one of Africa’s most famous lions has been a bit extreme.
For all we know Mr Palmer may have any manner of reasons for wanting to hunt animals, possibly he has a remarkably small penis so feels he has to prove himself by slaughtering animals from a safe distance.   
It could be that the scumbag is a Viagra user as he can no longer get it up or maybe he hasn't got a spouse and he hopes killing animals will prove his manhood and attract a mate.
Maybe the sorry excuse for a human and inadequate coward didn't get enough love from his mother as a child and luring a practically tame lion out of its preserve and killing it somehow compensates for it in his demented mind. 
It is not impossible to assume that he indulges in the unadulterated cruelty out of some bizarre reasoning that he is doing the animals that he inhumanely slaughters a favour, an excuse i have heard previously from equally deranged individuals who hunt.
As this same dentist was convicted of poaching a black bear five years ago, then lied to the game warden about where he killed it, perchance he is a fantasist living in a world where he considers himself a mighty warrior of some sort saving his tribe from danger.
It could be any of the above but my best guess is that he is just a complete tosspot who gets his kicks out of killing creatures for no earthly purpose.
As his name and picture are now all over the internet, i hope that his dental patients are as reviled as
the rest of us over his abhorrent 'hobby' and his practise is soon hanging the 'out of business' signs over the front door.
Now he is the hunted and I'm sure the douche bag is fine with it, all things being fair.

Sunday, 26 July 2015

A New Arms Race Looming?

As a Cold War kid of the 80s, i look back at that time and think it wasn't so bad, the idea of Mutually Assured Destruction was a comfort which kept the nukes in their silo's and we had great songs like Two Tribes and Two Minutes to Midnight.
Sure we had to watch public information films telling us the way to stay safe in the case of a Nuclear War was to turn the sofa upside down and crawl underneath it but although the chances of the Cold War becoming a hot one was remote, if it did the Earth would be lifeless now except for cockroaches.
Thankfully the threat of nuclear war has diminished and the arms race has died down but we could be on the cusp of another one, this time with artificial-intelligence-based autonomous weapons.
Such luminaries as Elon Musk and Stephen Hawking have signed a letter warning against the dangers of starting a global arms race of artificial intelligence technology unless the United Nations supports a ban on weapons that humans 'have no meaningful control over'.
The letter was presented at the International Joint Conference On Artificial Intelligence in Argentina and explains that: 'If any major military power pushes ahead with AI weapon development, a global arms race is virtually inevitable, and the endpoint of this technological trajectory is obvious: autonomous weapons will become the Kalashnikovs of tomorrow'.
The risks, the signatories say, could be far greater than those posed by nuclear weapons.  
As the history of the human race has been one stupid decision after the other i'm sure the warnings will be dismissed and drones are just the beginning of the latest wheeze to kill us all and this time we won't have the background music of Frankie Goes To Hollywood to soothe us as a robot with face recognition software kicks down the wrong door and blows up an innocent family at the dining table.

Saturday, 25 July 2015


Turkey have been fighting the Kurd's since the 80s and but things got a more bit complicated recently as the Kurds were being used by the Americans as their 'feet on the ground' in the battle against ISIS.
In one recent flash point in the Syrian city of Kobani on the border of Turkey, Kurds fleeing an ISIS attack on their city were forced back towards ISIS by the Turkish military.
Turkey are enemies of the Syrian President, Bashar al-Assad, so they did not want to fight ISIS as it will help the Syrian President but now they have joined the fighting with the proviso that as well as targeting ISIS they also attack the Kurds.
Complicated for the US and UK as the Kurds are on our side so we have the farcical situation where Turkey have joined our side but are attacking the people on the same side.
So to recap, the UK, USA, UAE and Saudi Arabia are battling against the people they armed and funded to remove the Syrian President who they are now helping by batting the elements trying to remove him.
Meanwhile, one section of the allies is attacking another while it is being defended by USA planes. 
Got it? Good. Now explain to the rest of us who is fighting who and who we are supposed to be cheering for.

Friday, 24 July 2015

Kepler 452b

Scientists have discovered a planet they are calling 'Earth's older, bigger first cousin' and 'The closest
thing that we have to another place that somebody might call home'.
As the planet, Kepler 452b, is 1400 light years from Earth it does present a few problems with following up if anyone is living there or if we can someday leave here and pitch up there.
The first problem is as it is 1400 light years away, what we are seeing today was as it was 1400 years ago and in the intervening years it could have been swallowed by a gigantic black hole or been smashed to bits by a collision with some larger planets bigger relative.
Then there is the distance we would have to travel as 1400 light years works out to around 8,230,075,757,747,774 miles which travelling at the speed of Voyager 1, 38,610mph, would take 24 million years to get there.
I have already suggested that we send the current British Government there on a discovery expedition immediately but as we are having to look so far away for suitable planets to go to to survive as a species, maybe we should love this planet a bit more because we are making such a monumental mess of this one and it it looks an unfeasibly long distance for our future generations to escape this polluted one.

Thursday, 23 July 2015

Fabian Delph & The Karma Gods

I doubt if there is such a thing as karma but if there is, the karma Gods of football were working when it come to Fabian Delph.
After his much publicised 'i want to show there is loyalty in football' speech where he turned down a mega-money move to Manchester City to stay at Aston Villa before making the move anyway 3 days later, the midfielder lasted 19 minutes of his debut in a pre-season friendly before pulling his hamstring.
Considering that he was always destined to be a bench warmer with the occasional appearance in League Cup games for the duration of his five year deal, this is a case of starting as he means to continue, watching the game from the sidelines. 
Now let's hope that the same karma Gods have not forgotten John Terry.

Saturday, 18 July 2015

Royal Nazi Salute

Not as much outcry over the Royal Family making Nazi salutes as i imagined, mostly because everyone knew Edward VIII was a Hitler fan anyway and the Queen was only seven and her sister Margaret just three so they can be excused.
What i am not hearing is why the Queen's Mother, the other grown up in the picture, is merrily heiling Hitler and she has no such excuse of being too young to know what she was doing.
Buckingham Palace said it was disappointed that the film had seen the light of day and was investigating into who had released the 20 second movie to the Sun Newspaper, not disappointed that the Royal's had been shown making Nazi salutes.
Very few people seem to be mentioning that there is also a 33 year old woman in the photo, who obviously knew what she was doing.