Thursday, 21 September 2017

Sept 23: End Of The World...Again

How's your week going so far? Well, best make the most of it as things are going to go seriously downhill on Saturday because according to Biblical Scholars, the World is going to end this weekend. Again.
Apparently thanks to an alignment of several planets and constellations, the Rapture is set for 23 September which will see all 'worthy' Christians ascend to heaven and leaving the rest of us 'unworthy' ones to perish here on the Earth as per the Bible passage Revelation 12: 1-2 which predicts the Antichrist arriving and bringing with him devastation, which could really spoil any plans you had for Sunday but don't worry because if the Rapture on Saturday isn't convenient for you, there are two more on the way.
The first is scheduled to begin in 2020 and if you miss that one there will be another one along in 2021, those Bible passages are notoriously difficult to get accurate it seems so the worthy Christians may just have to knock along with us unworthy ones coveting our neighbours asses and whistling on a Sunday for a while longer yet.
Not too long though because The Messiah Foundation International preach that a massive asteroid is hurtling toward our planet, on course to collide in 2026 and in a shocking twist, will bring about the Rapture when the Lord will return and save everyone worth saving...etc etc.
Issac Newton may be known as the man who discovered Gravity but you do wonder just hard that apple hit him on the head as he calculated from the Book of Revelations that mankind will come to a screeching halt in 2060 although he didn't specify how it will all end.
The Muslims are much clearer with the details, they have the world ending with earthquakes and volcanoes in 2129 before it all turns a bit Japanese Manga Comic with a one-eyed beast battling the Messiah as Gog and Magog, whoever they are, descending upon the Earth.
There are no such monsters in the Judaism end days penciled in for 30th September 2239 when the Messiah will appear to help us prepare for his new kingdom of Heaven but it will only be for those who actively prepare for his arrival so as you won’t be allowed into the Heaven Party if you don’t help set it up so maybe make some sandwiches that day, not Ham ones though.
Finally, the Buddhists have their policies of peace and self-reflection, serenity and rebirth but in the year 84517 they say that our Sun will be joined by six others and the Earth and all on it will burst into flames in a fiery explosion. 
So there are some dates that the World will end to jot into your diary starting this Saturday but i will stick my neck out and predict that if you have a ticket for the Brighton v Newcastle game this Sunday, then you shouldn't cancel your travel arrangements but it may be worth checking if in the event of the Rapture, you can get a refund just in case.

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Rocketman v The Cheeto In Chief

Donald Trump seems to have dived to the depths of infantile name calling and has taken to calling North Korean Kim Jung Un 'Rocketman' and as Kim is just as childish as the unhinged American President you can almost sense he is sitting in Pyongyang going through the options of what to call him in response.
The options he faces are to go with something about his weird hair, his less than svelte figure, his blatant racism, his being a self confessed sex fiend, the teeny tiny penis, the love of Hitler, his lack of spelling skills or the strangely orange skin.
Lots for Kim to ponder there, maybe rotate them but he may have to be quick because it seems that the Gropenfurher may have decided that despite threatening to kill 25 million North Koreans because he doesn't like their leader, North Korea is too hard and has moved his sights onto another country to threaten with it now being Iran's turn to hear Trumps crazy rantings.
In his incoherent rambling UN speech, Trump called Iran a: 'depleted rogue state whose chief exports are violence, bloodshed, and chaos', a diatribe applauded by Israel who has been visiting violence, bloodshed and chaos on its neighbours for 60 years and Saudi Arabia who is currently using its military to violently reduce the population of Yemen.
Three more hateful, warmongering regimes you could not wish to meet but Iran is now the bad guy despite only last week the UN and the USA declaring that Iran was keeping their side of the agreement to limit the scope of Iran’s nuclear power programme to remove the potential for nuclear weapons development.
Obviously assuming he could use the same rhetoric that he uses to the white supremacists at his rallies, he was wildly out of his depth and it would be funny if Trump stayed to taking a wrecking ball and destabilize his own country but he is starting to leech outside of America's walls and making threats to other nations in league with some of histories worst violators which can only tip an already finely balanced World so it is down to the rest of the World to slap him down hard when he gets another temper tantrum.

What We Know About Mark Sampson

I do wonder how the England Women Football team feel about that show of support for their now former manager Mark Sampson after he was sacked for 'inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour'.
The details of exactly what constituted the unacceptable behaviour is being shielded by the FA but what we do know is that whatever happened, it was during his time at Bristol City Academy when he was in charge of the 16-19 year old girls. 
He was investigated by the FA in 2015 after allegations against him from Bristol City girls and his behaviour was found to be enough for a period of mentoring and training 'to establish the boundaries between manager and players' only reflects badly on the FA who appointed him England Women's manager despite the enquiry findings.
It was only after two England players, Eniola Aluko and Drew Spence, announced charges of racism, harassment and bullying against him that the FA decided to have another look at his record and decide that he wasn't appropriate after all.
The Women in Football Organisation have said that they raised concerns with the FA over Sampson's suitability for the England role during the England recruitment process after highlighting Sampson being given training and mentoring following the enquiry into his behaviour with the teenage girls at Bristol City.
The FA can't say they were not warned about him and it is to their dishonour that they have only now got around to reading the full enquiry details of his unacceptable behaviour but even worse is if the England women knew these full facts whilst giving him such a public show of support on Tuesday.

Tuesday, 19 September 2017

Speak Up May

Rumours abound regarding Theresa May's Brexit themed speech in Florence this Friday although nobody expects her to make the one that she should do, the one that tells everyone that we will not being going ahead with Brexit.
The madness that is Brexit will carry on under this Government and although no details are forthcoming, the address is likely to be seen as a bid to break the deadlock in divorce talks as negotiations falter on the cost of the financial settlement which sums ranging up tp £100 billion.
EU officials are refusing to discuss a future relationship until sufficient progress has been made on a settling of the bill while Britain wants to discuss both concurrently.
The most persistant rumours are that May will agree a financial settlement of £50 billion to cover the UK's liabilities, to be paid over an undefined period so talks can continue.
It won't be popular, especially as the Brexiters main beef was the amount we pay to the EU but considering Brexit amounts to economic suicide anyway, what's throwing another £50 billion into the wind when we have a growing debt of £1.56 trillion and a financially inept Government running things.

Saturday, 16 September 2017

How To Survive A Nuclear War

The US has warned it could revert to military options if new sanctions fail to curb North Korean missile and nuclear tests, after Pyongyang fired a missile over Japan for the second time in two weeks and so the threat of war between two nuclear nations takes a step closer but don't fear because i have got my hands on the Government pamphlet, 'How to survive a Nuclear War'.
Fair enough it was published in 1980 but advises the public on what to do in the face of nuclear war with handy hints on how to deal with the effects of nuclear fall-out, outlines how to plan for survival and recognise the warning signs when an attack is imminent, and advises on what to do immediately following an attack and in the days after.
The first section advises people on how to make a fallout room in the centre of your home as far away from windows and walls as possible to protect from radioactive fallout dust.
If you have no fall out room then pack furniture around a large table and crawl beneath.
Families would remain in the room for some 14 days after the attack, so the brochure provides a list of essential items to stockpile. 
The list includes enough drinking water for each person to drink two pints a day, tinned food which you can eat cold (don't forget the can opener), a portable radio and spare batteries to listen for instructions about what to do after the attack, cutlery and crockery, warm clothing, a first aid kit, a clock and a calendar.
It also lists blankets, torches and candles, chairs, a bucket and toilet roll and a change of clothing. 
Section 3 of the pamphlet explains what to do if you hear the attack warning, turn of the gas and electric, shut the windows, draw the curtains and go to the fall out room.
The final section explains that if a family member should die whilst in the shelter, wrap them in plastic bin bags and leave them outside with a note for identification purposes.

All very useful information but what it doesn't mention is that if you live within 20 miles of a military facility don't bother looking for toilet roll or a bucket as you will be instantly incinerated in the initial blast but if you are still alive after 14 days, you can crawl out from your fall out room or makeshift shelter under the table and survey what is left of the planet, which wouldn't be very much.

Friday, 15 September 2017

Trump's Tiny Todger Troubles

With an ego as big, and an intelligence so small, the mocking of Donald Trumps teeny tiny penis is going to irritate him bigly so the man with the tiny todger is going to try and scotch the rumour at every opportunity.
The dubious medical science is that Donald Trump has small hands hence what he has in the boxer short department is also small.
Only Mrs Trump will know for certain if Donald has less meat in his pants that a vegan restaurant but the withered willied Mr Trump is ultra-sensitive to this particular insult and has denied rumours about the size of his dinky dick which is why during a trip to a relief shelter in Houston, Trump declared while putting on some gloves that his hands were too big and then repeated it during a separate trip to Florida when again he was struggling to pull on a pair of latex gloves.
It may be worth noting that he opted to hand out sandwiches while Vice President was responsible for handing out bananas which avoided any cheap jokes about Trump's own pint-sized plonker.
I'm sure that the jokes about the Don's stunted schlong will endure, along with those of his weird hair, strangely orange skin and lack of intelligence but one thing he certainly is not is boring, puny pocket-sized pecker almost certainly, but not boring.

Derbyshire Police Buying A Pup

There is a saying originating from the Middle Ages when meat was scarce, but dogs were not, where one would be sold a bag you thought contained a piglet, only to find out that the animal in the sack is a puppy, hence the saying to buy a pup.
The British police make wide use of dogs to sniff out drugs and even money and now Derbyshire police have bought a pair of FBI-trained dogs to help bring paedophiles to justice by 'sniffing them out'.
Police Constable Jan Simpson said: 'We will not tolerate those committing this heinous crime. If you are taking, viewing, downloading or distributing indecent images of children, then it is only a matter of time before you can expect us to knock on your door'.
Sounds impressive that the dogs, an 18-month-old springer spaniel called Tweed and a Labrador named Rob, have been specifically trained in paedophile uncovering until you read exactly what they are trained to sniff out, hard drives.
Not sure how much the Americans charged but what Derbyshire police have spent their money on is a couple of dogs that can lead officers to computers which they can then examine to see if they contain indecent child images.
I doubt if the cost of a couple of tins of dog food a day is going to wipe out the Derbyshire Police budget but if they think that paying money for a dog that can find a computer is worth it then i have a cat that can sniff out chocolate i can sell them to help in the war against terrorism.
They really have in every way literally bought a pup, actually two of them .

Thursday, 14 September 2017

Bye Bye Cassinni

If you were on Saturn this Friday, around 11.30 am, you would see a man made meteor streaking across the Saturnian sky as Cassinni ends its 20 year mission by diving headlong into the giant planet. 
A journey that began in 1997 and took in Venus and Jupiter on it's way to Saturn where it made 300 trips around the Gas giant and will continue to gather data on Saturn’s clouds as it hurtles through them at 69,600 mph until it burns up in the fall through the atmosphere in a strategy to stop it crash-landing and contaminate one of Saturn's moons.
One of the most important discoveries courtesy of Cassinni was the moon Enceladus which holds beneath its icy surface an ocean of liquid water which has led to further planned missions to find out if those far flung seas hold life.
Cassini is indeed a great achievement for mankind, such a shame we can't do more of it.

Happy Birthd....SHHHH!!

Saudi Arabia is Britain's new bestest friend especially as it is immensely rich and spends a fortune on the military equipment that we knock out and as we are seemingly full steam ahead for economic suicide with Brexit, we need all the money we can get our hands on.
The Saudi's never trouble the top of any lists for most tolerant or democratic nations but when it comes to whack-a-doodle religious nut-jobbery they are right up there.
Case in point is today's announcements that they are banning of birthdays as they are: 'unbeneficial things that Islam does not promote' and Pokémon Go which is deemed: 'a promotion of gambling and Darwin’s Theory of Evolution'.
It wasn't explained how a quick chorus of Happy Birthday, a cake with a few candles in it might bring down the Islamic faith but then if you run any country by the belief that a man living in a cloud created everything then you are bound to be run by crackpots telling you that blowing out the candles on your birthday will see you on the wrong side of the law.

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

The Shame Of Aung San Suu Kyi

There are not many people on the World Stage who you can admire and up until recently Burma's Aung San Suu Kyi name was mentioned in the same breath as the likes of Nelson Mandela's but her star has fallen fantastically fast. 
For years she was feted as one of the brightest hopes for human rights around the world after her release from the long period of house saw her replacing the military junta in the Burmese Government.
Now, it is the military under her command responsible for the atrocities currently happening in Burma, atrocities that have seen helicopter attacks on villages, rapes, throats of women and children slit and people rounded up and burned alive.
She has refused to speak out and condemn the ethnic cleansing going on against the Rohinga minority in her country as this week reports surfaced of 300,000 Rohingya forced to flee machete-wielding mobs and soldiers armed with machine guns.
By not speaking out against her own military's genocidal massacre of her own citizens, she is legitimising their actions and on a personal level, trashing her reputation and along with it the belief of so many people who believed that she was the type of person that we need more of in this world but instead became the very person she did so much to overthrow.

Sunday, 10 September 2017

Plastic Brit Chris Froome

Bearing in mind that until today no Briton has ever won Spain's Grand Tour and it took 110 years for the first Briton to win a Tour de France, you'd expect the man who then wins four to be the most loved and admired sportsmen of this or any other era, unless it's Chris Froome that is.
I really don't like to see sportsmen and women who wrap themselves in the Union Flag and declare themselves British when they were born elsewhere and should be running, jumping, cycling or hitting people under the flag of their own country.
It is especially prolific in athletics, Somalian born Mo Farah would make sure that he squeezed into every interview how proud he was to be British and we recently had tennis player Johanna Konta who represented Australia until 2012 when she suddenly remembered oops, i'm actually British.
Before her we had Greg Rudseski and Lennox Lewis announcing in broad Canadian accents that they were as English as fish and chips and during the apartheid years the England cricket team had as many South Africans putting on the pads as English.
Our very own Bradley Wiggins is Belgian and it is cycling where our latest 'Great Brit' has covered himself in the flag and did it for Blightly, Saint George and the Queen, ladies and gentlemen, Chris Froome.
That would be the Chris Froome who was born in Nairobi, Kenya, was raised in South Africa and rode for Kenya before discovering his British passport and going to live in the quintessentially British town of Monaco in France.
Yes winning cycling races is a great feat and congratulations but don't try and kid us that you did it for Britain, a country that you have never even lived in.

Friday, 8 September 2017

Useful Directions For Irma

Hurricanes never seem to glide anywhere, they slam, crash or smash into places and Hurricane Irma has Florida in its sights after leaving a swathe of destruction behind it in the Caribbean. 
The sensible Floridians have heeded warnings and hightailed it out of there while the not quite so sensible ones have decided to sit tight so you can only hope that the emergency services are not pulling their bodies out of piles of rubble in a couple of days time.
One person who is sure to be safe is Donald Trump, the man who made much of dismissing global warming to his gullible supporters while applying for planning permission to build a two-mile long wall on the beach next to his golf course in Doonbeg in Ireland, citing on his application that the wall was necessary 'because of global warming and rising sea levels'.
So while he condemns his people to even more dangers from extreme weather due to global warming, he and his business interests will be safe but Mother Nature may have other ideas as in the path of the 180 mph winds currently barrelling towards South Florida are several of the climate change denier's properties. 
Mar-a-Lago, Trump National Doral Miami, Trump Palace, Trump Royale, Trump International Beach Resort Miami, and Trump Hollywood could all be underwater or in a not so neat pile of scattered bricks by the end of the weekend.
Fingers crossed then that the fickle finger of fate spares the remainers and Irma huffs and puffs and blows Trumps buildings down as the hypocrite hasn't had chance to reinforce these against global warming as he did his golf course in Ireland as he was too busy making the case to the useful idiots on his campaign trail that global warming wasn't even happening.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Keep Calm And Think MAD

By far the most asked question i have fielded this week is are we on the brink of a nuclear war?
As a Cold War kid it does have a certain feel of the 80s about it only with North Korea taking the role of the Soviets in this latest incarnation and most importantly two very unstable leaders threatening to incinerate each other.
Where we had the relatively stable Ronald Reagan on one side and Mikhail Gorbachev on the other, we now have two leaders who are anything but stable in Donald Trump and Kim Jung-Un and that is where it is different.
Where the USA and USSR had thousands of nuclear tipped weapons pointed at each and if used would wipe us all out several times over, North Korea have a handful with limited range but are backed by China who more than make up for a lack of numbers.
One of the things that stopped us all burning up in a radioactive firestorm in the 80's still holds today, the appropriately named MAD or Mutually Assured Destruction.
This is a doctrine in which use of nuclear weapons by two opposing sides would cause the complete annihilation of both the attacker and the defender so America won't launch a nuclear attack on North Korea or China as it will mean the end of America and to the same end, North Korea or China won't attack America for the same reason, it would be as equally incinerated at its target. 
That was always the reason given to us kids who asked the same question to stop us worrying as it just wouldn't happen, neither the Soviets or the Americans would be that insane to condemn their country to such a fate.
Trump and Kim Jung-Un will continue to bluster, threaten and try to intimidate each other because they are both bullies and pathetic human beings but neither will want to push so hard to test the MAD theory that stops any cold war becoming hot.

Rees-Mogg Falls At First Hurdle

Ever since made Theresa May such a spectacular debacle of the General Election she has been looking over her shoulder at her Conservative Party colleagues sharpening their knives and waiting for them to settle on a replacement and the man they seem to be collecting around is Jacob Rees-Mogg or rather they were because in his first appearance he has not so much shot himself in the foot but blown his leg off.
Obviously his advisers never did there job because he went on Breakfast TV and put forward his views on the sort of things that must have had Theresa May whooping around the Downing Street living room as her potential usurper face planted over the first hurdle.
His chances of gaining the badge that reads 'party leader' slipped away has said he was deeply religious, completely opposed to abortion under any circumstances and opposed same-sex marriage.
That sound will be the noise of feet shuffling back to the drawing board amidst a swirling backlash against the Conservatives who seem to have an amazing knack of being so far out of touch with the electorate that you could almost feel sorry for them, almost.

Sunday, 3 September 2017

Who Needs Abroad When We Have These Places

Summers over, Autumn's here and it is back to work or school but we still have our memories of the places we visited in those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.
Due to the economic situation many people decided to stay at home this year so while Britain may not have the climate of the Mediterranean or the sights of Paris or Rome, we do have some brilliantly named places to visit where you can see grinning tourists doing the double thumbs up at the town signs.
There is always a queue for putting the thumbs up in Twatt in Scotland but just south of the border in Cumbria, you won't be twiddling your thumbs in Cock Play or Cockermouth.
Across the pennines in the North East you are assured of a warm welcome in Wetwang and if you head south you will find Rimswell.
No trip around the Midlands is complete without stopping to take in the small but beautiful Bell End while Gloucestershire hosts the beautifully untouched and natural Lower Swell.  
Across the border in Wales stands the impressive Three Cocks or you may decide to go across country to Essex and Fingrinhoe which is a designated conservation area with plenty of birds to watch at your leisure.   
No trip along the South Coast is complete without stopping to have a look inside Thong before carrying on to Shitterton with a pause at Lickfold for refreshments.     
Maybe your ideal trip is across the Irish Sea in the Emerald Isles and your first stop of Hackballscross before carrying on to the North Irish coast where hidden away is Muff, the wild, overgrown pastures of Lousybush, the never closed Fannystown and no tour of Ireland is complete if you don't end your tour in Cum.
Who needs abroad when we have such delights at home.

How To...

If only i had paid more attention in school was once a regular lament by older people but now we have the internet so you can look up how to do almost anything as long as you know how to use Google, if you don't then you really wasn't paying attention were you.
It would appear that the internet has the answers to everything and the Google search engine recently shared a list of the most frequently asked 'how to' questions on the service.
Since 2004 'how to...' based searches have increased by more than 140% and usually involve people asking how to fix household items so they can have a go at mending the TV or vacuum cleaner themselves before shelling out for a repairman
The top ten according to Google:

1.  How to tie a tie
2.  How to kiss
3.  How to get pregnant
4.  How to lose weight
5.  How to draw
6.  How to make money
7.  How to make pancakes
8.  How to write a cover letter
9.  How to make French toast
10. How to lose belly fat

Some of these could have easily been answered if you hadn't been smoking behind the bike sheds during GCSE biology, art or cookery although the second, third and fourth questions look to be in quite a logical order.

Friday, 1 September 2017

Bye Harvey, Hello Irma and Jose

Although the MET and all other weather forecasts don't advertise it, they can only accurately forecast the weather for the next two days and after that it is a best guess and the same goes for Hurricane paths so news that Hurricane Irma is going to smash into the same parts of America as Hurricane Harvey are at best misguided, at worst scaremongering.
Texas is currently reeling from the impact of the devastating, a storm that claimed the lives of more than 40 people and left around 450,000 people living in sheltered accommodation and now all eyes are on the development of second storm system, Irma, in the Atlantic.
The European and American model forecasters have the potentially category 4 Hurricane trajectory either making landfall in Florida or making a sharp right turn and staying out at sea and everything in-between but they wont know for sure until mid-week and they have advised reports on the internet of America taking another bashing as fake because if they don't know with all their state of the art technology, then nobody does.
Something they do know though is that another storm is brewing behind Irma which they are monitoring as it moves into a favourable environment for organising and gaining strength as it moves westwards across the Atlantic and are ready to slap the name 'Jose' on it.
While meteorologists are trying to dampen down the threat of Irma, Hurricanes that begin with the letter 'I' do seem to have a reputation of being the most devastating.
Atlantic storm names repeat every six years but when a hurricane is so deadly or damaging that it is written into history, the name is retired and the most retired names begin with the letter I.
As the sea-surface temperatures are at their warmest this time of year, the 'I' storms have a better chance to be a long-lived, intense hurricane and with seas warming and a warmer climate being able to hold more moisture thanks to Climate Change, the hurricanes are going to be bigger, more intense and throw down more rain.
Irma is going to be another biggie but nobody knows yet where it will end up and Jose could be following close behind so the Caribbean Islands are in for a bad time and America could also yet face another lashing or two and if that doesn't focus the mind of the few dinosaurs who refuse to accept the planet is warming, unfortunately this includes the American President who has pulled out of the Paris Agreement, then the mind bogglingly ignorance will ensure the sight of Americans and citizens of plenty of other nations dying in floods becoming a regular occurrence.

Sunday, 27 August 2017

Karma Pays A Visit To Trumps America

Call it Karma that shortly after Donald Trump pulled America out of the Paris Climate Agreement citing Climate Change to be a conspiracy dreamt up by the Chinese, Texans being are told to clamber up on their roofs and wait for rescue from floods as Mother Nature flings a catastrophic hurricane at his country.
'This event is unprecedented and all impacts are unknown & beyond anything experienced. Follow orders from officials to ensure safety' tweeted the National Weather Service and the Texas Governor, Greg Abbott, said conditions were: 'bad and growing worse' and damage was in the billions of dollars.
Of course one devastating hurricane does not show proof of Climate Change, a warming climate would actually make hurricanes less likely as there is less extremes, but when you do get them they are catastrophic because as any schoolkid paying attention will tell you, warm air holds more water and more water means more rainfall and more rainfall means people being told to climb up onto
their roofs as flood water rises.
This may not prove Climate Change but as Mother Nature takes what's there and ramps it up, this is exactly what Climate Change looks like and as America is a regular recipient of the Atlantic Hurricane Season, they may have to get used to horrific scenes like these and worse for decades to come.
It is only unfortunate that one of the direct victims is not on top of the White House waving his little hands waiting to be rescued because as his nations sinks, he will be the driest person in the country.

Saturday, 26 August 2017

Killer Robot, Android or Cyborg?

Isaac Asimov's 'Three Laws of Robotics' has long been held up as the golden rules that would stop robots overthrowing us humans and keeping some us in cages for their amusement but nobody seems to have told the military as they steam ahead creating killer robots which has resulted in over 100 of the world's top robotics experts asking the United Nations to ban them.
The Russian's have recently revealed the Kalashnikov's neural net combat module which can make its own targeting judgements without any human control and if the Russians are doing it, you can bet your Cyberdyne Systems series T-800 Model 101 Terminator doll the rest of the World's military are at it also. 
Good that the top robotic experts have our backs as Asimov's three laws all depend on a human programmer defining what a human is so far too easy to get around so better we don't rely on them but the world of artificial intelligence and robotics is moving so fast that it isn't only robots that we should be wary of, but also androids, cyborgs and bionics which until last week i thought was all the same thing so boy would i have been embarrassed if something came back from the future to eliminate my son before he become a saviour against machines in a post-apocalyptic future and i called it a robot. 
According to the nerds at Tech Republic.com, a Robot is a machine designed to perform a task while an Android is a robot which is designed to mimic human behaviour and appearance while a cyborg is an organism which has synthetic hardware which interacts directly with the brain and Bionic is an organism which has mechanical or robotic hardware designed to augment or enhance the human body.
All very useless if you are being pursued by a heavily armed part organic, part synthetic life-form but no need to make them even more angry by getting their classification wrong.

Thursday, 24 August 2017

Not Treating Man-Flu

Poor hubby hasn't been very well for the past week but luckily we are inundated with health facts so we have been able to work out how to treat that awful case of man-flu.
Self-diagnosis on the internet is better than going to the Doctor's surgery because the internet tells us that the Doc's is the main place that viruses and colds end up, all those ill people coughing and sneezing in the waiting room apparently.
We won't be using those bottles of hand sanitiser either, the internet again explains that squirting dollops of the stuff  on your hands not only creates wrinkles because it dries out the skin but it also contains chemicals which can be very harmful if used frequently.
We have been told on numerous occasions that taking Antibiotics is helping to create resistant bacteria so lots of rest and water it is then only not the filtered or bottled kind which the bottled water companies filter out minerals that we need to be healthy when they purify their water.
I could give him painkillers but apparently some are not only addictive but can cause the onset of dementia and anti-histamine's are not much better as prolonged use can lead to a significantly higher risk for developing Alzheimer’s.
Maybe some healthy eating will ease his pain but off the menu come fish as some types of fish contain mercury, which can cause serious issues if ingested and we can cross off Margarine as it is full of trans fats, the worst of all fats so we are told.
Maybe a bit of exercise then but jogging is bad for the joints and swimming causes strain on the heart.
Oh well, just leaving him to lay on the sofa whinging about not feeling well it is then.

Sunday, 20 August 2017

Take You Where?

Imagine you are sat in your garden one summer evening enjoying a Pimms and lemonade when over the trees and into your garden looms an interstellar spaceship and from it's bowels, a light shines from which a strange form is gradually lowered down and you find yourself face to face with an alien.
'I am an ambassador for Clor the Mighty of the 8th Grand Galactic Intra Demarcate' says the alien 'who would make it known to the natives of this world, that they are to be put on trial at the Sovereign Earthly Nations Court of Justice for crimes against the Universe so take me to your leader'.
'Blimey' you may say and wish that there was some sort of protocol for when aliens turn up unexpected and demand to be taken to our leader. 
The Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society have been pondering the same thing and they think that World governments should be preparing a co-ordinated action plan in case alien crafts land on Earth.
They think the responsibility of acting on behalf of Earth should fall to the United Nations and a branch set up for 'supra-Earth affairs' to establish protocol structures.
The discussion is still on-going so no decision yet of who exactly the leader is that we should be directing them to but if they are holding an anal probe then there are a few World leaders you could direct them to as long as they promise not to bring them back afterwards.

Harking Back To A Better Time Musically

I was too young for the Sex Pistols and Ramones in the 70s but was perfectly placed age-wise in the late 80s and early 90s for Guns 'n' Roses and Nirvana who continue to be celebrated on the chests of teenagers today in the form of t-shirts. 
I regularly see T-shirt's of all four the previously mentioned bands who were doing their thing long before most of the wearers were even born which leads me to think that either these four in particular had such a profound effect on music that almost 40 years later in the case of the Pistols that they are still being listened to or that with the bands around today, the kids just don't have an equivalent.
I come down on the side of the latter because as a teenager i was one of so many teenagers who would sit in a garage with a guitar, practising the riffs from Blitzkreig Bop or Sweet Child o' Mine so who would teenagers try to emulate from the charts today?
Nobody i venture which is why even if they were too young to have experienced the band, decades later Nirvana, Guns 'n' Roses, The Sex Pistol's and The Ramones are still more of a household name as there are no bands or artists around today with the musical impact whose name will be sported on the t-shirts of kids 30 years from now.
I would also throw into the ring the fact that all four of these bands had huge characters with as front-men and today's bands don't, more likely to give a hotel room a bit of a going over with the vacuum then trash it.
The truth is we just don't make rock superstars anymore. The superstars of today, the ones who are sold as personalities, are carefully controlled Simon Cowell type identi-kit pop stars dishing out the standard ballads or cover versions. 
Punk came along to replace bands like ABBA and dislodge Disco and Grunge booted aside the Stock, Aitken and Waterman puppets such as Rick Astley and Kylie Minogue so we can only hope that in the pipeline is something to rudely push aside the Adele's, Rhianna's and Little Mix's of the current pop world who will be long forgotten and not appearing on the chest of anyone in 2047.

Saturday, 19 August 2017

General Lee And The Nazi's

Being away on my holidays, i haven't been following the Charlottesville protests and its aftermath very closely but from what i have seen, a bunch of extreme right wingers were protesting over the removal of a statue of an old pro-slavery General and another group of anti-racists and anti-fascists, who have been labelled as left wing for some reason, clashed and one deranged right winger drove his car into the protesters and killed a female.
Trump, a man so stupid you wouldn't trust him to face the right way on the toilet, sent out a tweet refusing to condemn the right wingers and even equated the anti-fascist protesters with the likes of the KKK and the Nazi flag wavers.
In the resulting furor over his refusal to condemn the people dishing out Nazi salutes, he did the old trick of throwing a dead cat onto the table in the shape of a sacked Steve Bannon to change the conversation away from his support for his base of right wing racists.
Trump, a fan of Adolf Hitler according to his ex-wife who revealed he was an avid reader of the Nazi leader and kept a book of his speeches next to their bed, has been widely condemned by most people who made the point that if you find yourself on the side of fascist Nazi's, you are probably on the wrong side.  
To me, General Lee was the name of the car in The Dukes of Hazard but he was also a General in the American Civil War who fought to maintain slavery so you may ask who would want a statue of a nasty old racist in their city anyway but that is an ongoing discussion over statues of hideous men who in the cold light of the 21st Century are seen in a very different light from previous generations.
The problem with having statues, especially of military personnel, is that the person involved is celebrated for the slaughter, or in the case of Lee the violent subjugation, of other people.
If we are going to celebrate anyone with a likeness in our towns and cities, it should be people who are genuine heroes who have helped mankind, not conquered, enslaved or killed as many as possible of them.
A good guide is if the people who want to keep the statue are chanting Nazi slogans, draping themselves in Swastika's and are driving their cars into groups of people, then the statue is probably not of someone who should be celebrated.

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Look At The £3bn New Shooty Thing

Look everyone at the new shiny ship we have built.
No don't look at the £3 billion bill, just wave your little British flags and puff your chest out with pride that we may be skint and not have a money tree to fund the wages of police or nurses and have food-banks, cutbacks, closing facilities for the old, a criminally-underfunded NHS, social deprivation, high levels of homelessness and the highest levels of child-poverty in Europe but can still take billions from our dwindling tax coffers and spend it on a piece of massive military kit.
Rule Britannia and Britannia rules the waves and all that and a huge British aircraft carrier coming to an oil rich Muslim country soon (or as soon as we get our hands on some aircraft).

Sunday, 13 August 2017

Leninism, Stalinism and Trotskyism In A Nutshell

Of the three well known Russian Revolutionaries, Leon Trotsky is probably the least well known apart from the fact that he was name checked in a Strangler song and was killed by an ice pick.
Now that Tony Blair has come out as a former Trotskyite, interest has grown in the man and what he stood for and how it differed from Marxism explained here.
Fact is, Marxism is the idea put forward by Karl Marx of a community (hence the name Communism) which is ruled by the people for the benefit of all while Leninism, Stalinism and Trotskyism are the interpretations of the ways of achieving Marxism. 
A quick review of the Russian Revolution is required so we have Lenin, Stalin and Trotksy at the head of the Bolshevik Party who disposed the Royals and found themselves in charge and wondering what to do next. 
Lenin was the boss and he, Stalin and Trotsky decided what was required in order to achieve Communism would be the need to set up a ruling Party, named the Vanguard, to oversee the installation of Communism and which would then fade away in time to leave the workers in charge.
So far, everybody on the same Marxism page but now comes the difference because Marx said for Communism to succeed, it would need to spread around the capitalist nations of the World but Lenin wanted to ensure Communism was settled in Russia before spreading the ideal out to other countries, this is called Permanent Revolution as in a domino effect where there would always been one country following another into Communism.
Trotsky didn't want to wait and wanted to strike while the iron was hot and spread it far and wide while Stalin wanted to keep it only in Russia and to turn the vanguard party into a permanent Government.
Lenin and Trotsky therefore were together for the Permanent Revolution but Stalin was against the idea but they managed to keep the far more authoritarian Stalin subdued until Lenin died in 1924 and Stalin grabbed power, exiled Trotsky to Kazakhstan and executed almost all of the Party's Trotskyists in what become known as the Great Purges and effectively removed all of Trotsky's influence.
Stalinism took over and to stop Trotsky's continued criticism of Stalin's rule, after several assassination attempts, he succeeded and he died in his Mexican home from a pick axe to the head in 1940.
Trotskyism then is the idea by Leon Trotsky that the Marxist theory should be spread around the World rather than only one state.

Thursday, 10 August 2017

UK To Join Another Misguided American Conflict?

In recent history Great Britain has made several wrongheaded decisions to join American Presidents in their military adventures, Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya are sores that refuse to heal and Britain could easily have stayed out of.
Now that easily the worst US President in living memory is threatening to unleash fire and fury on North Korea, the question to ask is will Britain be joining in the mass slaughter of North Korean's?
Britain, also known as America’s lap dog after Blair's pandering to GW Bush, could formally refuse any call for help in waging war against Kim Jong Un as membership of NATO does not automatically oblige it to participate in a conflict as Article 5 of the North Atlantic Treaty which states that an attack on one NATO member is an act of aggression against the entire military alliance,
is limited only to attacks on member states’ territories in North America, Europe and the Atlantic.
Britain itself found this out when Margaret Thatcher attempted to invoke NATO’s collective self-defence provision over the Argentinian invasion of the Falklands.
The US, however, could exercise pressure to ensure Britain’s support in any military confrontation with North Korea as Britain is planning for an extensive trade deal with the US to soften the blow of Brexit and wouldn't want to jeopardise that by not backing America in yet another military adventure.
As Britain has been at America's side at every ill-conceived conflict since 2001, it is likely that Britain will need no pressure and we could be heading towards another misguided American led conflict that we have no business, or need, to be involved in.

Another Problem With Electric Cars

We are starting to see more and more electric cars on our streets but i came across a previous unthought of problem this afternoon while crossing the street, they are silent.
I got to the crossing just as the lights were turning back to amber and there sat a car, i looked at the driver, the driver looked at me and i thought that as his car was not making any noise, he had broken down or stalled at the lights.
Assuming i would have time to cross as he would have to re-start his engine, i stepped out just as he pulled away, silently.
I jumped back, apologised and waited for the next green man to flash but apart from me trying to cross roads, i can see silent cars being an issue, more so for pedestrians, especially visually impaired ones, and cyclists who rely on hearing approaching cars.
With the Government recently announcing that petrol and diesel vehicles are to be consigned to history on British roads by 2040 and the price of buying an electric vehicle tumbling, a tonne of metal travelling silently at 30mph around our streets is already causing problems with a report from the Guide Dogs charity found a 54% increase in pedestrian injuries in accidents involving quiet cars.
The EU have ruled that car builders must incorporate artificial sound generators in their cars by 2021 but 4 years seems quite a way in the future when people are being injured now.
Guess for the next few years when i cross the road i will just have to adhere less to the 'Listen' part of the 'Stop, Look and Listen' mantra we had drummed into us as children.

Factually Wrong Song Lyrics

I recently read a blog post where the author lambasted Alanis Morissette for her use of the word 'Ironic' in her song, pointing out that rain on your wedding day, a free ride when you've already paid or good advice that you just didn't take isn't ironic at all as irony is 'using language that normally signifies the opposite'.
I pointed out in return that he was 22 years too late as she was suitably hit over the head with it back in 1995 when the song came out to which the reply was that the author was only 22 which is fair enough as he would have been preoccupied with filling his nappy and dribbling at the time and missed the whole thing.
There are some song lyrics which do make you wonder why nobody fact checked them before they were released, U2's 'Pride' has a line about Martin Luther King getting shot: 'Early morning, April 4/Shot rings out in the Memphis sky' although he was shot in the evening.
The Band Aid signal 'Do They Know It's Christmas' is a charity single which raised millions for drought striken Africa so it feels churlish to point out that the line sung by Paul Weller, Sting and Boy George that 'there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time' is wrong unless Morocco is no longer in the continent as it snows every winter in Morocco.
There is also 'Where nothing ever grows/No rain or rivers flow' when the continent has the second longest river in the Nile winding through it along with the Congo river but as it was for charity we can let them slide .
Unfortunately we can't do the same for RUN DMC who rapped: 'There's three of us, but we're not the Beatles' in their King of Rock single which shows a real blind spot either for counting or the most famous four-peice in music.
Pink Floyd singing 'We Don't Need No Education' in their song ‘Another Brick In The Wall’ shows that in using a double negative they badly do need education and it probably wouldn't be wise to go orienteering with The Who as who knows what sort of crazy compass they were using when they came up with the lyric 'The north side of my town faced east and the east was facing south' in their
song 'Substitute'.
The song 'Catch a Falling Star' tells you to not only catch it but to then put it in your pocket although the next line should warn you that as it has just reached a heat of 3,000F or 1,650C falling through the atmosphere, it will probably burn straight through your leg if you did.
Such disregard for all thing astronomical is also present in 'Save the Best for Last' where Vanessa Williams tells us 'Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon' which it doesn't and Christopher Cross in Arthur’s Theme tells us what to do 'When you get caught between the moon and New York City'. He suggest fall in love but as the moon is about 240,000 miles away which would put you 120,000 miles out in space if you are caught between New York and the Moon, i would suggest screaming while you fall to your death as more appropriate.
Lions are nocturnal and sleep during the day so 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight' is misleading, as is Sade's Smooth Operator song which contains a blunder obvious to anyone with a map of America when she says: 'Coast to coast, L.A. to Chicago' although 'Coast to somewhere just past the middle' probably doesn't have the same ring to it. 
Napoleon didn't surrender at Waterloo, he was captured by the British weeks later trying to sneak off to North America so you shouldn't trust Swedish singers with British and French history and literacy lessons from Sam Cooke should be avoided as in 'Another Saturday Night' he describes being set up with a girl who: 'had a strange resemblance to a cat named Frankenstein' so unless he meant that she looked like the mad scientist Dr Frankenstein who created the monster, he got that wrong. 
I'm sure there are many more inaccuracies which have slipped through the net but Wang Chung's 'Dancehall Days' with 'Take your baby by the wrist/And in her mouth an amethyst' and Oasis's 'Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball' in Champagne Supernova
always leave me wondering.

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Happy Birthday Global Recession

Today seems to have been chosen as the tenth birthday of the sinking of the global economy with collapsing banks, unemployment soaring, governments going bust and ushering in a decade of austerity measures.
The 9th August 2007 was the day that a French bank admitted it pulled the plug on investments in US property which sparked a recession so deep that it continues to reverberate on the 9th August 2017.
The crisis ripped a huge hole in the many nation's finances and in Britain severe austerity measures followed but are now on the brink of being abandoned as the total debt pile is still rising and currently stands at a whopping £1.7 trillion, almost 90% of the UK's total national income and double the amount of debt when austerity began.
The argument is that the decade of austerity has actually weakened the economy hence the u-turn now but with recessions being a constant part of Capitalism, that the politicians, regulators, and financiers are trying to put a sticking plaster over it so they can carry on as before rather than find ways to stop a similar catastrophe befalling the system should be a cause for concern.
The experts are saying that in 2007 the economies of Australia, Belgium, China, Canada and South Korea avoided the worst of the crisis and helped to steady the World's economic ship but even they can not avoid the next one which is being talked about as we are still suffering from the last one and we know is coming because it is inevitable that another devastating collapse is coming because the system used collapses with such alarming regularity and consequences every decade.

No Nuclear WInter Coming Soon

One of the concerns when Donald Trump because President was that he would have access to the American nuclear arsenal but the thought was that even he wouldn't be so moronic to actually get his little hands near the red button but in a moment of typical Trump ego stroking he has escalated a crisis with nuclear armed North Korea.
Within a couple of hours of Donald Trump's warning not to make any more threats, on penalty of 'fire and fury', North Korea made yet another detailed threat that they were carefully examining plans to strike the US territory of Guam.
Seems he is plenty stupid enough after all to bring the world to the brink of nuclear war and scarily the decisions are being made by two imbeciles posturing and putting many lives at risk in defence of their own ego's.
As Kim Jung Un justifies his nuclear ambitions as defending his nation from a rampant United States who go around bombing nations to bring about regime change, Trump's infantile bluster has made his point for him as it is exactly what he is saying he will do.
In his deluded mind, Trump probably thinks that by ratcheting up the rhetoric and threatening to rain down fire and fury will bring the Communist leaders begging for talks and renouncing its nuclear ambitions.
Except they won't but neither will either send the World into a nuclear winter as as dumb and foolhardy as Trump and Jung Un may be, both know that if things escalate beyond the current shouting match, everybody loses.  
Donald Trump knows that minutes after the first missile lands in North Korea, South Korea, Japan and the western seaboard of the United States will be devastated while Kim knows that attacking Guam would be suicide for him, his regime and his country which would be swiftly annihilated.
The Mutually Assured Destruction that did so much to keep the Cold War from turning Hot is back in play but the rhetoric is good for both leaders as it justifies the young Kim's view and by Trump cranking up the North Korean threat to eleven, it distracts from his ever increasing problems at home.

Political Traveling Wilburys

Two things Great Britain needs more than anything is a new Government and to stop the barnstorming crazy that is Brexit.
Handily, with one stone we could brain two birds as the call for a new Anti-Brexit Political Party goes out and calls for the best of all the main parties to come together to 'stop Brexit catastrophe'.
The former chief of staff to the Brexit Secretary is calling for a new political movement to oppose Britain's exit from the EU, and he has called out Labour's Chuka Umunna, Stella Creasy, Rachel Reeves, Pat McFadden and Tory MPs Anna Soubry, Nicky Morgan, Nicholas Soames as well as the Liberal Democrats leader, Vince Cable.
Cable seems well up for it, tweeting that he agreed and the public should have a chance to shift away from Brexit but no news so far from the potential supergroup of MP's.
Tony Blair has already made some of the same noises and has even began looking into potential funding streams for the new party which could prove to be the Achilles heel, because if Blair is involved then it will be very hard for the newcomers to attract supporters willing to find themselves on the same side of the man they have been hounding as a war criminal for the past decade.
As we are pencilled in to commit the ultimate act of financial stupidity on 29 March 2019 and as the Conservatives are hanging onto power by their fingernails, they had better get a move on if the political equivalent of the Traveling Wilburys want to step in and save us from our own stupidity.

Monday, 7 August 2017

Top Posts Ever

Ten Years and 3304 Posts ago i sat down and began Falling On A Bruise, a blog mulling over things going on in the World.
Some posts sink without a trace and some seem to hit home so here are the 21 most viewed posts out of all that i have posted.

Anders Behring Breivik       
Brits Doing American Accents, And Failing
Frank Carson And Linda Nolan Mystery Solved         
Magic Spells
Marxism In A Nutshell
Michael Moore: Guardian Angel 
Nicotine Fuelled Nightmares
Paralympic Viewing Figures   
Proof That Nicholas Cage is One Of The Undead  
QuickQuid
Quitting Smoking With E-Cigarettes  
Solving The Piigs Crisis
Thatcher Jokes 
That's A Shame
The Lost Copenhagen Post     
Tony Nicholson: The Right Decision
Whinging Pom Eggs               
Why is It Raining So Much In UK This Summer?       
Why Nobody Believes John Terry
World Turning Vegetarian   
Zombie Conspiracy                       

Enjoy August As September May Not Be So Good

Luckily we are off on our holidays shortly which is lucky because come September there won't be anywhere left to go as the World will no longer be here according to conspiracy theorists who are convinced it will all come to a grinding halt next month.
Admittedly they have said that many times before but this time it is definitely, absolutely no doubts about it going to end and it's all down to a mythical planet, Planet X.
The planet will collide with the Earth and bring about the end of days around the 21st August and no apocalypse would be a real apocalypse if the Bible wasn't involved somewhere.
David Meade, who is a self proclaimed: 'Stargazer and Christian numerologist' has been looking at the charts and various Bible verses which have lead him to predict that there will be a a great sign from heaven as written about in the Book of Revelations and then Planet X will slam into the Earth.
NASA have come forward to poo-poo the Bible holding Stargazer as they pointed out if something that big was cartwheeling it's way to smash us to smithereens in a fortnights time then they would have spotted it by now and it was predicted to come our way in 2003, 2007, 2012 and 2015 and they are pretty certain it never happened then either.
I will stick my neck out and predict that if you have a holiday booked for after August 21st then you shouldn't be asking for a refund just yet.

Booing Gatlin

All eyes were on Jamaica's Usain Bolt to win the 100m gold medal but he was beaten into third place by America's Justin Gatlin and Christian Coleman.
Gatlin, who has served two doping bans, received boos and jeers both after winning the race and then again as he was presented with his gold medal on Sunday night.
The treatment by the crowd has received equal amounts of condemnation and approval from former athletes and Gatlin himself saying that he feels he's done his time and should be welcomed back to athletics.
Once possibly you can explain away but to be caught cheating twice and then to try and claim you shouldn't be jeered for it is a bit of a nerve.
I understand the argument that once he served his bans, he fulfilled his sentence and should be free to continue but i don't agree with it, to my mind if you are found cheating than you should be out for good.
If i was an athlete and i was slogging away for years only to be beaten by a former drug cheat i would wondering if the advantage they have over me was due to any permanent physiological changes as a result of their drug enhancements.
Are their muscles bigger, stronger or in a better condition due to a lifelong advantage after taking growth hormones or other body-changing drugs?
Nope, Gatlin for me deserves all the jeers and brickbats thrown his way.

Thursday, 3 August 2017

Coming To A Planet Near You Soon

I'm sure that NASA are trying to play it smooth to avoid a panic in the general population but three recent stories when taken together point towards something spectacular heading our way.
First the hacking group Anonymous uncovered documents that showed NASA have evidence of alien life after years of the space agency probing far flung galaxies and solar systems searching for beings that did not originate on planet Earth.
NASA issued a hasty: 'No we haven't' statement and the story faded away.
Then news broke that astronomers have spotted what may be a giant megastructure orbiting a distant star, a Dyson Sphere, and such a thing could only be the work of advanced aliens, capable of engineering and building on such a scale that it becomes visible from light years away.
Then shortly afterwards a hush-hush document was leaked that the US Government had created a new department called 'The National Space Defence Centre' who were responsible for training special forces in a secret location near the Colorado's Rocky Mountains in space warfare and gave them the silly, macho name of Space Aggressors.
Hmmm, we said, so why would the Americans be training for conflict in a space environment in a hastily created department?
We could brush all the incidents off as a coincidence but now news that NASA are advertising for a 'Planetary Protection Officer'.
The advert for the $187,000 per annum job states the role involves: 'safeguarding Earth from extra-terrestrial infection' and creating policies to ensure 'the avoidance of organic-constituent and biological contamination in human and robotic space exploration'. The role’s security clearance level is 'secret'.
The truth, as they say, is out there but it may very soon be here and it's probably 8ft tall, green and has a ray gun.

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Why Brexit May Not Happen Afterall

I guess some people thought pulling out of the EU would be straight forward but the more we look at it the more problems we see and i am beginning to think that it may prove to be just to difficult, expensive and detrimental to the British economy that it may not happen after all.
As well as the tens of billions divorce bill, experts expect the British economy to drop by as much as a third and even if we did deals with every major trading country, it wouldn't plug the gap of the World's largest Single Market.
Politically, we have to cuddle up to some of the Worlds worst regimes in fear that if we criticise them, the trade deals will be canned and the border with the Republic of Ireland and British Northern Ireland is political dynamite.
Businesses have began relocating to EU countries and taking tens of thousands of jobs with them and Britain has been stripped of its triple-A credit rating.  
Then there is the future of the British Union, with not only Scotland looking to declare independence from the U.K. and serious questions are being asked in Northern Ireland, which like Scotland, voted to Remain.
With only a few by-elections reversals standing between a Government with a wafer thin majority and another general election, Brexit is looking to be more of a headache then the Brexiteers thought and the Government should be brave enough to hold their hands up and just say it would be too detrimental for the UK and they will not be pursuing it any longer.
The Brexiteers will bleat but the alternative is Theresa May going down in the history books as the Prime Minister who willingly oversaw the breaking up and economic suicide of the UK, a mistake that would take a generation or longer to correct.

Tuesday, 1 August 2017

Not Following On From Hugo Chavez

Only the more ignorant and misinformed amongst us would say that Hugo Chavez was anything other than amazing for Venezuela and its people but things seemed to have taken a sharp turn for the worse in the South American nation since he died.
Under the guise of continuing the great mans work, President Nicolas Maduro has gone on a rampage of what looks like for all intents a drive towards dictatorship.
Following a controversial vote to give himself sweeping new powers, political rivals are believed to have been arrested and the military has been deployed to quash protests.
Despite international condemnation, Maduro is planing to plough on with his rewriting of the Constitution which will give him unlimited powers meanwhile the protests from all sectors including the Chavez supporters will continue and the violence looks likely to escalate.
Chavez may have been an impossible act to follow but Maduro seems to have made a magnificent pigs ear of the legacy left by Chavez and is said to be driving his country off a cliff, especially ironic when you consider his job before politics was driving a bus.

No Trump Chaos Amidst The Trump Chaos

We all remember Iraqi information minister Mohammed Saheed al-Sahaf and his dizzying refusal to admit that everything was falling down around his ears.
Comical Ali may have gone but his stubborn commitment to accept that everything is going to hell in a handcart is by no means extinct as proven by Donald Trump.
The Orange One took to to Twitter to brazenly blare: "No Chaos in the White House' as yet another employee, the 12th in six months, was handed his P45 and made his way out the Exit door after a little over a week of beginning the job.
Every bit as chronically dysfunctional as expected, he may be doing irreparable damage to America and it's reputation, but it is fascinating to see just how far he will drag his country down before events bring his tenure to a premature end.
The links to Russia will probably prove to be his downfall, the enquiry seems to be turning up more lies and cover-ups the deeper it digs, but that may be some time in the future and the country he said he would make 'Great Again' could be on it's knees by the time the men come to drag his bloated carcass away.  
It may be a great time to be a journalist with such a loose canon in the White House but as long as he sticks with embarrassing himself and his own nation and doesn't take the George W Bush route of sending his military on far flung adventures, it is fascinating to watch him implode so fantastically

Waving Goodbye To Sick Stan Kroenke

Stan Kroenke is Arsenal's biggest shareholder and owner of My Outdoor TV, part of Kroenke Sports and Entertainment, which has launched in the UK which has programmes named 'Cast & Blast', 'Miss Wildgame' and 'Hollywood Weapons' which show hunting and blood sports.
As an Arsenal fan i'm beyond disgusted that the man who owns our club is also involved in glorifying the sick and brutal killing of wild animals and will be using the proceeds from such a disturbing channel to run Arsenal.
There will now be renewed vigour behind the call for the Russian billionaire and second largest shareholder, Alisher Usmanov, to take over the club although he is being locked out by the Arsenal Board due to his close ties with Vladimir Putin.
I would hope that my fellow Arsenal fans will be vocal enough to leave Kroenke and the Arsenal board in no doubt that we want our club to have nothing to do with such a nauseating and disturbed individual as him.

Monday, 31 July 2017

Princess Diana And 1,299 Others

The country is currently in the grip of Diana Mania due to it being the 20th anniversary of the Princess dying in a subway in Paris.
Undoubtedly an awful event and a matter of deep, deep sadness for Diana's family as when someone you love dies it goes without saying that the sadness is all encompassing but every day we hear about the deaths of people unrelated to us and in comparison it barely registers once the news item moves on or we turn the page and it doesn't begin to compare to the death of a loved one.
Grief is not the normal response to the death of a stranger because if it were we would all be in a permanent state of grief.
Of course we empathise with those who have lost loved ones, but that's not the same thing.
We sometimes reflect on those who touched our lives from afar but in the scheme of things 1,300 of us die in the UK daily and for each of those 1,300 deaths someone, somewhere is mourning.
As tragic as the Diana death was, or David Bowie, Nelson Mandela, Whitney Houston, George Michael or Prince, when a celebrity dies i don't understand the outpouring of grief about someones death that we never actually knew.
The last few years has seen the death of so many talented individuals and it is right that we reflect upon their lives achievements and discuss it but we do that with anyone who dies, most importantly following the death of someone close to us but as they don't get top story slot on the news or a pull-out souvenir section in the newspaper doesn't make their passing any less sadder and especially not for those of us who didn't know them.
It is fine to feel sad about Diana and for her family but there was an average of 1,299 people who lost loved ones that day also who went without mention.

No Vocalising Loquatiousness Here

Parliament’s longest word has been uttered and it's 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis' which Michael Bryant blurted out today in a select committee meeting which means 'loccinaucinihilipilification’s' reign has been ended after five years.
It has become the fashion for some people to try and make themselves appear cleverer than they actually are by using long words by creating extremely complex sentences requires an impeccable fluency in English and only a fatuous individual would attempt the use of a salubrious nature of sophisticated commentary, or sesquipedalianism as it is known.
While some people avoid long words, a form of hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, the manifestation of the existential paradigm is infinitesimally larger than the exponentially evolved humanistic mindset, indeed this precept can be fundamentally beyond the cognisance of any finite mind and the constant fluctuations in the language ensures everlasting change to our vocabulary.
Being able to ask for a train ticket to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch can be a floccinaucinihilipilification and not seen as vocalising sequipidalean loquatiousness.
If it was up to me i would place a pile of Trinitrophenylnitramine under anyone who tried it and that's why you won't see any of that here!

Gonna Need More Bubble Bath

Religious people do tend to take the Bible seriously, hence they will argue that the World was made in seven days and man was made from a pile of dirt but they tend to go quiet on the parts of the Bible that talks of unicorns, dragons and horses with the heads of lions or creatures that are half-rooster and half-snake and don't even mention the fire breathing sea creature with multiple heads. 
It's easier for them if you stick to the bits that doesn't spin off into Jason and the Argonauts territory such as why does the creator of humans hate almost everything about the act of humans reproducing?
He sure isn't a fan of periods as Leviticus 15:19-21 is all about how unclean periods are and anyone who touches a woman who is on her period is unclean for a day. Not only can nobody touch her but everything she lies or sits upon is also unclean and: 'whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the evening'.
If a man avoid his wife for a week and if they have sex during the remainder of the month, if the man 'has an emission of semen', Leviticus 15:16 says he must: 'bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening'.
Nine months after that bath time, according to Leviticus 12:2-4, a woman who has a baby is unclean for a month if it's a boy and two months if it's a girl, because girls are extra ikky obviously.
Hopefully the male Churchy types have a decent supply of loofahs and bath wash to scrub themselves with and the women have a cellar to live in for a week each month to avoid contaminating things with their period lurgies.
It would be unfortunate if you live a life of purity only to get turned away from the Pearly Gates because you once sat on something your wife touched while on her monthlies or if you seeked a wizard for some reason.
What has Wizards got to do with it you may ask?
In a book that has talking snakes among all the crazy, is it such a surprise to find that God hates Wizards as well as you discover if you carry on reading Leviticus to 19:31 where it says: 'Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them'.
I don't know what being defiled by a wizard entails but if you are the type to hate homosexuals because an imaginary man in the sky tells you to than you had better burn that Harry Potter DVD just in case.

Sunday, 30 July 2017

New Inventions Needed Quickly

Scientists put the emergence of Homo Sapiens at approximately 250,000 years ago but after 200,000 years of living in caves and bopping each other other the head with a club, around 50,000 years ago we got our act together and began using our large brains to make specialist tools, organise our living space, move to less inhospitable areas and about 5000 years ago we developed cities, agriculture and trade.
Considering the dinosaurs were around for over a hundred million years and never invented anything at all and never evolved beyond walking around and eating each other, us humans have not done bad.
We harnessed fire, invented tools, the wheel, writing, telescopes, engines, discovering gravity and split atoms, invented many modes of transport, electricity and came so far so fast that in 1899, Charles H Duell of the patent office announced that 'Everything that can be invented has been invented'.
Mr Duell was obviously wrong as we carried on inventing things to this day but one day will there be a time when we really have invented everything?
Mankind should be quite rightly proud of itself but there are some inventions that still need to be invented if we are going to last as long as the comparatively simpleton dinosaurs.
In our 250,000 years we have undoubtedly caused more destruction to the planet than the dinosaurs did in their entire 150 million years, enough destruction to seriously place the Planet and its inhabitants in peril so we need to invent, and quickly, a way to cleanse the pollution in the very air that we breath and have shovelled into the now poisoned atmosphere.
We have developed, and used, weapons of such destruction that whole cities can be wiped out in seconds and continue to use up the rapidly dwindling valuable natural resources quicker than they can be replaced so alternative resources need to be invented.
Space travel is a necessity as the only planet we have becomes more overcrowded and unlivable so a whole host of inventions are needed to allow us to travel to, and live on, other moons or planets
We are at the mercy of the earths crust with volcanoes, earthquakes and tsunamis so need to be able to control them as well as the forces of the planet’s evermore violent weather and dangerously warming climate.
While fire and the wheel were essential for human life to develop, inventions since have made human life easier and more comfortable so while inventions such as televisions, the Internet, light bulbs and cars are nice, they are not essential whereas the inventions still to come are literally the difference between our life and death.
For all our smart inventions we are at our most highly vulnerable, some due to our natural environment but mostly due to our own stupidity and undoubtedly we will invent even more horrific ways to end human life so while there is still plenty left to invent, we can only hope that our wisdom advances more rapidly than it has so far.
The dinosaurs may not have been the brightest in comparison to humans but they were around for so much longer than us and they were not the ones who put their very own existence and all life on the planet at peril so surely that makes us the simpletons.

Friday, 28 July 2017

The Electric Car Problem

Great news that the Government have announced that petrol and diesel vehicles are to be consigned to history on British roads by 2040 but as usual the Government is short on details.
The price of buying an electric vehicle has been tumbling and is now similar to the cost of a petrol one and one in three cars sold in Europe now is electric and by 2040 almost every car sold will not have a petrol tank but a battery.
Dyson, Apple and Google have joined the traditional companies looking to join the car market which should force the price down even further but the problem is the required infrastructure for electric cars.
The Government has announced £100m of funding for car charging infrastructure but that looks a woefully low amount considering what is needed.
With 35 million cars currently in use in the UK, and supposing that the 35 million vehicles will over time convert to electric, that is a very heavy use of devices sucking electricity continuously from the National Grid. 
The National Grid will therefore have to be expanded to accommodate such a substantial rise in demands with the AA saying that the extra electricity needed will be the equivalent of almost 10 times the total power output of the new Hinckley Point C nuclear power station being built in Somerset and that was after years of debate of where to sight it as nobody wanted a nuclear power plant in their back yard.
As well as having to build 10 new power stations at a current rate of £20 billion each to deal with demand, there is also the building of hundreds of thousands of charging points.
Inventing the electric car and announcing the phasing out of cars running on fossil fuels is the easy part because the much needed reshaping and financing of our country's entire electric producing infrastructure will be much harder.

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Where'd They Get That Big Chicken From?

The chlorine-washed chicken row carries on and now after one Minister said he was okay with it, another one has piped up and said he would not allow the chicken's washed in a chemical that was used as a devastating weapon in the World War to be allowed in Britain as part of a future deal with the USA.
'No. I have made it perfectly clear, and indeed this is something on which all members of the Government are agreed, that we are not going to dilute our high animal welfare standards, or our high environmental standards, in pursuit of any trade deal' said Michael Gove who is currently the Environment Secretary.
Good for him, especially as Michael Gove is widely regarded as someone who wouldn't think twice about selling his own parents if he gained from it. 
The practise of washing chickens with chlorine is widespread in the US but has is banned in the EU which only allows washing with cold air or water although Liam Fox explained that Americans had been eating it for years with no ill-effects but then they voted George W Bush and Donald Trump into power so that is debatable.
Already the protests have started and i am more than impressed that protesters, with only a few days notice, have managed to wrestle up a massive blow up chicken to carry to Downing Street.
Is there a large supply of different blow up animals holed up in someones garage or did someone have it laying around just in-case such a purpose arose because i can't see how they could have got one made in such a short time span.
Resourceful bunch these protesters.

Boots Get It Wrong Again

No. Na. Nein. Non. Nyet. Mhai. Illai. Não. Nee. Ne. Nope. Negatory. Nada. No way, Jose. Nil. Nu. Nie. Bu Dui. Iie. Nem. Nullus. Nej. Neen. And, in case any Klingons are working in the Boots advertising department, ghobe!
You CANNOT take 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday' change the word Christmas to Summer and make an advert flogging sun tan lotion wishing it could be Summer everday!!
Obviously Boots have learnt nothing from their recent debacle where they were charging an extortionate price for a contraceptive pill and then using a highly dubious and patronising justification for doing so.
To be fair they did cut the price and apologise once the news of protests outside the stores and boycott of their goods reached them and threatened their profits but still, taking a Christmas song and trying to change it's reason for being is also worthy of a grovelling apology.
Roy Wood and Wizzard must also take the flak as they must have agreed to the Chemist using their most famous song to pollute our televisions with, obviously not content with the royalty cheques they must receive each January after the Christmas music fest when the song is almost permanently being played somewhere.
As for Boots, i will refuse to darken their doorstep and refuse to buy anything from them until the misguided advertisement is removed and i will be buying my regular supply of morning after pills elsewhere until then.

Monday, 24 July 2017

Brexit Keeps Giving, Now It's Chlorine Washed Chicken

Liam Fox, the trade secretary, is in America to thrash out details of a trade deal amidst concerns that Britain accepts chlorine washed chicken, GM crops and hormone-fed beef, all of which are currently banned by the EU. 
Campaign groups, the poultry industry and opposition politicians are calling on the Government to come confirm or deny that the UK is prepared to lift its ban on chlorine-washed chicken in order to accommodate US poultry farmers who want to sell their meat in Britain.
The Liam Fox line that: 'Americans have been eating it perfectly safely for years' is surely a nod towards what he is willing to foist upon us in order to secure a post-Brexit trade deal.
Washing poultry in chlorine is banned in the EU so we can look forward to Fox encouraging a family member to eat chlorinated chicken to show it's harmless and we shouldn't be worried about a bit of chlorine in our food and stop the concerns about a chemical used in World War 1 and didn't do a blind bit of harm apart from mass slaughter.
We are getting our country back and, as a bonus, we are getting chlorine-washed chicken as well but i'm sure i didn't see that painted on the side of a bus last year.

Saturday, 22 July 2017

The Fatal Flaw In Ai

After Climate Change, Artificial Intelligence is the greatest threat to mankind but the day when robots decide that the problem is mankind itself and decide to do away with us has been postponed as we have discovered a fatal flaw in the armour of our future usurpers, fountains.
Steve was a security robot who spent his days patrolling around a shopping complex in Washington DC making full use of his facial recognition, high definition infrared sensor cameras but unfortunately for him his creators forgot to include a water detection capability and the robot came to a watery end, upended in the complex's water feature.
Some have speculated that it committed roboticide, throwing itself into the fountain in a pique of depression at the futility of it's existence but experts think he just fell down the steps and plunged headfirst into the water where his circuits fizzed and his lights blinked out for good.        
It was always joked that any attack by the Dalek's from Dr Who would fail at the first flight of steps so they got around that by evolving levitation skills so using the same logic, our greatest safety net is water features until the robots develop waterproofing.

Well Played Mrs Abe

My bi-lingual friend from Hong Kong has a brilliant way to deal with chuggers in the street, she babbles at them in Cantonese and they quickly move away and onto the next target.
Classic tactic to avoid speaking to someone who you don't want to speak to and the exact same tactic that the Japanese Prime Minister's wife used to avoid the oafish Donald Trump at the recent G20 summit when she unluckily found herself sat next to the orange buffoon.
In a recently interview Donald Trump remarked that he had a rather awkward few hours at the evening meal with the First Lady of Japan Akie Abe as she doesn’t speak English, not even Hello.
Actually, Mrs Abe is fluent in English and recently gave an address in the language so obviously just pretended not to speak it in order to avoid dinner conversation with the lardy American.
Kudo's to Akie Abe, well played that woman and how the other World leaders spouses must have wished they had thought of that excuse but i bet they will now.

Friday, 21 July 2017

Not Quite So Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

There are some things that Americans just can't do such as cross the road where they like or make a decent cup of tea because nobody seems to own a teapot but one thing they fail miserably at is faking a British accent.
The high water mark has always been Dick Van Dyke's stab at a bit of cockney in Mary Poppins but he has finally seen fit to issue an apology for acting out: 'the most atrocious Cockney accent in the history of cinema'.
Very good of the actor to hold his hands up and say sorry for giving the British accent a proper mangling although i have never understood why Daphne's in Frasier was so strange, she being English and all.
Anyway, Dick may not have Chimmed his last Chimeney because he has a part in Mary Poppins 2 which is currently being filmed so we may yet have to dig out that spoonful of sugar and dig it in our ears to to help that terrible accent go down.


Thursday, 20 July 2017

£30 & A Lecture For Women From Boots

Boots the Chemist have began selling the 'morning after' contraceptive pill and priced it at £30, five times more than in other European countries.
Boots have justified the cost but saying that by making it so extortionately expensive, it: 'helps prevent emergency contraception from being misused or overused' and allows them to offer 'important sexual healthcare advice to women'.
The pill is a way to avoid unwanted pregnancies, as are condoms but you can buy them for £3 a packet so you do wonder why Boots are charging ten times more for something that does the same job. 
Well, you would wonder if it wasn't blatantly obvious that Boots are profiteering and trying to hide behind some highly dubious justifications.
Why they can't offer important sexual healthcare advice if they sale them for less than £30 hasn't been explained nor if they give out advice to any men who buy contraceptives or is it just women who need to be lectured about having sex?

Sunday, 16 July 2017

The Next Dr Who

Doctor Who is banned in China because the government authorities don’t want to promote anything that could be seen as rewriting history which means that they won't care who become the 13th TARDIS driver.
Rumours abound that the next Timelord could be a female with Phoebe Waller-Bridge name coming up continually especially after the BBC's own show Newsnight saying that: 'Waller-Bridge had denied claims that she’s going to be the first female Doctor but then Joanna Lumley has already played the role for Comic Relief, so that would technically be true'.
Kris Marshall was the leading frontrunner for the role but the latest favourite is Broadchurch actress Jodie Whittaker but the BBC has said that the identity of the latest Doctor will be unveiled after the Wimbledon men’s singles final today.
Capaldi, who replaced Matt Smith in the role in 2013, will relinquish the role after this year’s Christmas special.
Exciting stuff unless your Chinese but as much as a female Doctor would be great, Kris Marshall would be perfect for the role so i guess i am just going to have to sit and watch Federer running around in his tight white shorts for a couple of hours before i find out.

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

The Trump And May Show

What done for Tony Blair was his closeness to George W Bush and one of the things doing for Theresa May is her closeness to the man who overtook Bush as the worst US President in living memory, Donald Trump.
A pathological liar, the links to Russia are the latest in a long line of lies which he or his family dismiss as fake but have turned out to be true.
Within days the 'big nothing-burger', a harmless chat about adoption with a Russian official, went to a confirmed attempt by a foreign nation to undermine Hillary Clinton and American democracy in the 2016 election,  
Following the denials, along came Trump junior himself to release an email chain showing that in fact he took the meeting in anticipation of receiving dirt on his fathers rival on the explicit understanding that this was part of a Russian government effort to help the election of his father. 
Theresa May tied herself to Trump in the first week of his presidency, rushing to Washington to hold his hand and offer him the bauble of a state visit.
When Trump broke from the Paris agreement on climate change, May refused to sign, saying she would raise the subject with him at the G20 meeting only to admit afterwards that she had done no such thing.
When he was widely condemned for leaving his daughter in his G20 seat while he stepped out of a meeting, May, said that she thought it 'entirely reasonable'.
While derided as less than a joke and a liability to keen at arms length around the World, May continues to hitch her star to a President that was always likely to explode in her face.
Already weakened at home by a range of awful decisions, May manoeuvring herself so closely to such an embarrassment of an American President who quite rightly attracts such vitriol is baffling. 

Sunday, 9 July 2017

Military Life? Think Again

The Human Resources department of the British Army must have quite a tough time dreaming up recruitment ad's because 'come join us and kill people or get killed yourself' isn't that enticing a slogan so it comes up things like 'Travel the World', 'Learn a Trade' or their latest campaign which involves 'Belonging'.
The Army say the campaign is aimed at all backgrounds and certainly not specifically targeted at poorer people from deprived areas, but a leaked document on the This Is Belonging campaign spells out that the key audience is 16- to 24-year-old 'C2DEs', marketing speak for the poorest people from deprived areas.
Exploiting people who don’t have a lot else going for them and taking advantage of that lack of opportunity to fill the military ranks is sneaky but if they can't play on the romance, the glamour and the danger of going to war zones then they have very little else to go with.
The MOD said: 'We are proud of the opportunities serving in the armed forces affords young people that aren’t always available elsewhere, from basic literacy education and support for postgraduate degrees, to high-quality accredited training and unique employment prospects.'
So there you go young people, you aren't going to other countries to possibly die overthrowing leaders our leaders don't like, you are undertaking high quality accredited training which may come in very handy once they have picked up your legs from 200ft away from your body. 
I say to my students or anybody who even contemplates a life in the military, anything, anything at all would be a wiser or more acceptable employment choice and there are numerous cemeteries, hospitals and rehabilitation centers around our country with men and women who would agree and wish they had been told the same thing.
Worse, there are plenty of innocent victims in the same places in countries where our military have been sent in the recent past by our warmongering Government who would say the same thing.

Not Quite Dropping The F-Bomb

I'm not one to casually throw around swear words but maybe that's because i don't have a large enough vocabulary according to the snappily titled: 'Taboo Word Fluency and Knowledge of Slurs and General Pejoratives: Deconstructing the Poverty-of-Vocabulary Myth' from the academic pair of Kristin L.Jay and Timothy B.Jay. 
The report found: 'the ability to generate taboo language is not an index of overall language poverty, rather a voluminous taboo lexicon may better be considered an indicator of healthy verbal abilities rather than a cover for their deficiencies.'
Smart arse academics trying to sound smart-arsey indeed but what it means is that swearing like a tourettes suffering sailor doesn’t mean you’re an oaf, it just means you have a large and colourful vocabulary.
If you don't want people to think you're an idiot, you should start preparing to step up the profanities but you can't go straight to dropping the F-Bomb in company so i would suggest one of the halfway swear words, kinda like a F-hand grenade.
The choices are between fecking, freaking, fricking or fugging so you email Tim or Kritin for example and say: 'You fricking academics don't have a frecking clue what you're talking about, dozy feckers' and you would be taking the first steps to having a large and colourful vocabulary and impressing a couple of scientists with your taboo word fluency.
I imagine they would feckin love that.

Brexit Looking Doubtful

I am still hopeful that at some point in the near future, the Government will look at the Brexit deal on offer, glance at the rapidly emptying coffers and announce that we won't be going through with Brexit after all because it is just too damn expensive and detrimental to the British economy. 
They could blather on about their priority being ensuring the British nation is not left without a pot to pee in then get back into bed with the EU and carry on as if nothing happened.
With the sums being worked out and the Leave campaigns promises being exposed as whopping great lies, their are murmurs that Britain could just not afford the drop of a third in the economy and are looking for a way to back out gracefully, probably via another referendum on the deal on offer where hopefully this time the idiots calling for Brexit are suitably sent to a corner.
A number of senior European figures have said Britain is welcome to change its mind on Brexit and with Theresa May's position looking perilously unsafe, things could very quickly all change.
My view is that we are struggling now, throwing Brexit into the mix and shaving as much as 33% off our already slumping finances is economic suicide and as our Government are elected to do the best thing for us, in this case the best thing would be to hold their hands up and say Brexit is unaffordable and being in charge of our own borders is very little reward for the Brexit slump which would make the last decade of austerity look like a party.

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

Austerity Hasn't Worked, So Why Persevere With It?

During the election campaign, the Conservatives often made the claim that austerity was working and was needed to bring down the debt.
The answer was they said that their strict measures would clear the debt by 2015 which was then pushed back to 2019 and has now been pushed back again to 2025.
Now austerity is back in the news because the Government are contemplating easing the measures after 7 years of cuts and closures so how much has the measures reduced the debt by?
In 2010, the Great British debt was £845 billion and after 7 years of cuts and austere measures, the debt now stands at £1.6 trillion at the end of July 2016.
So the question is in which way has the Government measures reduced the debt because whichever way you want to spin it, the debt has doubled.
The previous double act of David Cameron and George Osborne and then Theresa May made sure the debate was always about how only they could be trusted to balance the books, or live within our means as the phrase went, but now the cat is out the bag and the hardline austerity since 2010, where everything that could be cut was slashed to the bone, hasn't worked.
We found out the hard way that it was a terrible idea to cut police numbers during the terrorists attacks, the council cuts when the tower block went up in flames, devastating underfunding of the NHS when winter rolls around, closure of Homeless shelters when the city centres shop doorways fill up with the homeless and the 33% rise in suicides amongst benefit claimants who have had their benefits cut.
Austerity hasn't worked and it is hard to believe that the Government has only just worked that out now so we should be asking why was it persevered with and was the Government incompetent or just being ideologically malevolent?