Friday, 1 December 2017

What's With Those Christmas Lyrics

The Town's Christmas lights are on, the Tree is in place in the Square and every shop is playing Christmas songs so you can now sing along while you are queueing up to pay for the Mince Pies.
Spending time in a supermarket queue humming along to Frosty The Snowman gives you time to ponder the big questions such as if Frosty is made of snow, should he really be smoking his corncob pipe which will surely make him melt even quicker?
Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree has the line 'dancing merrily in the new, old fashioned way' which is an oxymoron i could do without having to think about in the chilled aisle of Sainsbury's, it’s new or it’s old-fashioned, choose one  or the other.
Band Aid's 'Do They Know It's Christmas' is a Festive staple although the line 'there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time' is factually wrong as it snows every winter in Morocco and is that snow i see on top of Mount Kilimanjaro?
There is also 'Where nothing ever grows/No rain or rivers flow' when the continent has the second longest river in the Nile winding through it along with the Congo river but as it was for charity we can let them slide .
Silent Night is one of the most famous Christmas songs and you can only assume that the lyric 'Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child' is down to a bad translation from the original German that nobody has bothered to correct because i have no idea what this means.
In the current climate of sexual harassment, 'Baby Its Cold Outside' is a creepy song about a woman saying no to sleeping over multiple times while a man persistently tries to persuade her using the weather conditions as an excuse like a meteorological version of Harvey Weinstein. 
The child in 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' is in for a lifetime of therapy and maybe the person who wrote 'Away in A Manger' had some serious issues as he said: 'Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care And take us to heaven to Live with Thee there', which can only mean 'hey God, you know all those millions of children you are caring for, i'd have no problem with all of them not being alive anymore'.
The sentiment behind 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday' is something i could certainly get behind though as December 25th is a Bank Holiday so 365 paid holidays a year really would put a great big smile on everybody's face.

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