Sunday, 29 January 2017

Priapus, The Last Greek God Standing

Throughout history man has believed in something whether it was the Greeks with Zeus, the Romans with Jupiter or the Norse with Odin while today God and the baby Jesus seem to be the dominant mythology so there have been a lot of Gods and such deities lifted up to the heights and worshipped only to be dumped when a newer one came along.
In my mind Zeus and Hera are sat in Olympia impotent like a couple of old coffee mugs stacked at the back of the cupboard and obscured by the newer mugs so they are still there, just out of sight and unused in the vain hope that someone may yet pick them up again, brush them down and make use of them again which brings me neatly to Garden Gnomes. 
When i lived in Suburbia, every garden in our street had at least one Garden Gnome plonked outside the front garden amongst the Rhododendron's and Hydrangea and catching imaginary sealife with fishing rods or holding a garden implement and i always assumed they were derived from some sort of leprechaun but just found out they are not and they are homage to someone very different.
Priapus was a son of Aphrodite and a very minor Greek deity responsible for gardens and his thing (all Greek Gods have a thing) was that Zeus's Wife, Hera, in a fit of pique over losing a contest to his mother over an apple, cursed him with a massive penis which he used once to beat a donkey to death with.
As with all religions, when the Romans came to conjuring up their own religion they stole the Greek one and adopted Priapus as their own and kept him in charge of gardens and as so, Romans had small statues built of him with his huge penis and placed them in their gardens as tribute.
Roll forward a few centuries and while European knowledge of each other grew and expanded, the religions changed and absorbed bits and pieces from other religions to make up new ones, the small statue of Priapus with the whacking great wang remained protecting and looking after even more gardens.
Over time, the God's penis shrank and withdrew into a pair of trousers as his appearance underwent a change to protect sensitive European eyes from the scary looking Greek/Roman God to cute Gnome although his hat, called the Phrygian cap, remained the same.
What this all means is that out of all the Gods and deities who have been around since man conjured up the idea of a creator, Priapus is the one who has been around the longest and the one who we still pay homage to, even if we didn't know it.  
Somewhere on Mount Olympia, there is a deity looking at the long ago forgotten Hera and thanking her that her curse on him meant that over two millennium later, he is still having statues erected in his honour while she is stacked away at the back of the cupboard unused and unloved, she inadvertently made him the last deity from the Greek God era still standing.

You Say You Want A Revolution?

During everything else that has been happening recently,the Oxfam report on Global Poverty seemed to have slipped by unnoticed so the revelation that eight people own more wealth than the poorest half of humanity did not receive the shock that it should have.
The eight multi-billionaires named who own more wealth than 3.6 billion human beings in 2017, are Bill Gates, Amancio Ortega, Warren Buffet, Carlos Slim Helu, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Ellison, and Michael Bloomberg.
That eight men have bank accounts with such unimaginable wealth in them while there are others literally starving to death is obscene but it does show that Capitalism is working exactly how it was intended and the inequality is maintained by Global Governments guiding the money to the top but forgetting about the part where it trickles downwards afterwards.
In the same report Oxfam state 154,000 children die each week due to extreme poverty which is a disgusting and deplorable state of affairs but something that we have become accustomed and just seem to accept as 'the way things are'. 
History shows us that at some point, the masses rise up and overthrow the rich and powerful and 2017 is one hundred years since such an event happened in Russia when an economic crisis was one of the reasons Lenin and the Bolsheviks rode the wave of suffering and injustice of the masses ending with them overthrowing the decision makers.
The revolution of the Russian poor and downtrodden sparked not only a rebellion in their own nation but threatened to sweep across the Globe, especially as one of the other reasons the masses turned was because of WW1 which was being fought at the time and was little more than a scrap over the colonial carve of Africa in the interests of further wealth and power of the Europeans rulers.
The end result of the Bolshevik revolution was that it not only succeeded in overthrowing the existing order in their own country, but also succeeded in threatening to do likewise throughout Europe.
There have been rumblings of discontent for a while now and the rich and powerful should take heed that the Russian, French and Cuban Revolutions to name just three may be in the history books but the discontent and hardship that caused them remains festering today and with each passing year and with each report that highlights the obscene inequality amongst the top and the bottom, the more is the likelihood that another Lenin, Castro or Robespierre will emerge from the bubbling, disconsolate masses.

Friday, 27 January 2017

Warm UK Welcome Expected For Trump

In some ways you have to fill a bit sorry for Theresa May, British coffers are going to be emptying quickly in the next few years as we stupidly pull away from the European single market and we have a mug President in Donald Trump who is keen to do business with us so despite him being an obnoxious oaf, she had to hold her nose and go and say nice things to the racist and tap him up for some extra trade.
What she didn't need to do was invite the monster over here to our place but she did and he accepted and so at some point this year he will be bringing his tiny little hands and brain this side of the Atlantic. 
Already the arrangements are being made for the demonstration and campaigners are urging people to greet him with 'the biggest protest ever to show he isn't welcome here' when he shows his face and the organisation 'Stand Up To Racism' are coordinating things along with Stop the War, Muslim Association of Britain, People’s Assembly and CND with July 1st penciled in for his arrival.
Last year hundreds of thousands of Britons signed a petition calling for Mr Trump to be banned from coming to the UK triggering a debate in Parliament and a number of MPs in the room spoke in favour of the motion although it was decided that they couldn't actually ban a World Leader.
It was one of his predecessors who has the dubious title of being the recipient of the largest mid-week protest with 200,000 turning out to protest George W Bush who came here in 2003 to meet the Queen but as July 1st is a Saturday, and with six months to organise it, it is a safe bet that Trump will touch down to a less than warm welcome.
Of course, the way he is going he could be forcibly removed from Office before then and it won't matter anyway but we should still prepare just in case. 

新年快乐, Xīnnián Kuàilè and Happy New Year

It's new years eve in China or everyone's new favourite Superpower as it has recently become known so anyone born between tomorrow  and January 2018 will be a Rooster along with anyone born in 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993 and 2005.
I was born in 1969 so am therefore a Rooster along with Dawn French, Donny Osmond, Martin Luther King, Stephen Fry, Dolph Lundgren, Bob Marley, Jennifer Anniston, Jennifer Lopez and Britney Spears but all of us had better watch our step in 2017 as according to Chinese astrology, the year of ones birth sign is the most unlucky year in the 12-year cycle.
Roosters are believed to be observant, hardworking, resourceful, courageous, talented but can be a bit arrogant but to make it a bit more in depth, what type of Rooster you are depends on your birth year so the 1969 Rooster an Earth Rooster and is also lovely, generous, trustworthy, and popular while the 1981 Gold Rooster is determined, brave, perseverant, and hardworking.
The 1993 born Water Rooster is smart, quick-witted, tenderhearted, and compassionate, the  Wood Rooster born in 2005 is energetic, overconfident, tender, and unstable.
The yet to be born Fire Roosters of 2017 will be trustworthy, with a strong sense of timekeeping and responsibility.
As 2017 is bad luck for us Roosters we should be clinging to things which are lucky for us which include numbers 5, 7 and 8 along with the colours gold, brown, and yellow and especially spend the next 12 months avoiding the colour red and the numbers 1,3 and 9.
Some things that you should not do tomorrow on Chinese New Years Day is eat porridge (brings poverty), no sewing or knitting (depletes wealth) don't wash clothes (washed away good luck), no crying (brings bad luck), don't use scissors or knives (cuts wealth), don't borrow or lend money (leads to debt), don't wear plain black or white clothes (unlucky), eat pears (leaving soon) or give anybody four of anything (brings death) and don't visit a hospital (brings illness).
So 新年快乐, Xīnnián Kuàilè or Happy New Year and spare a thought for pears and knife salesmen and laundrette staff.

Thursday, 26 January 2017

Enjoying That Shiny Sweet?

My friend has got hold of some of those coffee beans that has been passed through an elephants digestive system, picked out the animals poop and then put in a bag and sold to Westerners for £20 a pop.
I declined and settled for a Maxwell House but i was wondering who was the first person to look at a pile of elephant dung and
think to themselves, 'I bet that would make a nice cup of coffee'.      
There are some things that once you know you wish you didn't, such as if you have eaten a sweet with a red colour in it
recently or something with a raspberry flavour, then you probably shouldn't click here or here
So you are probably diligently leaving the red smarties in the tube and passing on the raspberry flavoured sweets in favour of the strawberry or blackberry ones which is a wise choice, unless the sweet is shiny of course then a bit of beetle or a beavers backside is probably the least of your worries.   
Shellac is the thing that gives the sweet that shiny glaze and Shellac comes in many different names, the ingredients on the packet could call it Goma Laca, Gomme-Laque, Gommelaque, Gomme Laque, Lac, Lacca, or Laccifer lacca but it's all still Shellac and Shellac is a secretion of the Laccifer lacca Kerr insect.
The happy little fellas spend all day pooping on branches in Thailand and along comes a farmer, scrapes off the poop and sells it to confectioners who liquefy it and turn it into the glaze that then gets painted across all those shiny, yummy sweets such as jelly beans, Barley Sugars and gobstoppers .
As with the elephant poop coffee, the mind boggles what the first person who thought what sweets need are a coating of insect poo was smoking but what we don't know doesn't hurt us but now you know you may never be able to eat a Haribo again without noting just how shiny it is and wondering if that got a double coating of insect droppings.  

Clicking The YouTube Skip Ad

YouTube has over a billion users and each day hundreds of millions of hours of YouTube videos are seen and i am one of them and until today i thought i was being smart and sticking it to the man by clicking the 'Skip Ad' button but turns out me and many others are doing exactly what they want us to do as they get paid whether i sit and watch the advert or skip it anyway.
If we want to watch the original video to 1980s smash hit 'Dance Hall Days' or a cat humorously leaping 4ft in the air when it sees a cucumber, then we need to wait the required five seconds before we can relive our teenage years with a bit of Wang Chung in fluffy jumpers.  
When i always thought it was YouTube being a bit considerate and not making us sit through a numbing 60 seconds of some company trying to flog us shampoo or sanitary towels, it's actually YouTube making sure they get paid.
The video site hits us with two types of adverts, the unskippable kind where you have no choice but to sit and watch and the skippable one where after five seconds you can get on with hearing Wang Chung in their full 1980's glory.
The YouTube model is they get paid if the full advert is watched or, and here's the sneaky bit, if the video advert is clicked and by clicking the 'Skip Ad', yep, you are clicking the video advert and therefore sending revenue fee towards the YouTube bank account.  
For YouTube, it's a win-win situation as they get paid either way although for us viewers, it's a form of advertising that we can't help but top up YouTube coffers.
So where i thought clicking the Skip Ad or wandering off and letting the advert play out to an empty chair was a small rebellion against the fat cat advertisers stuffing unwanted wares down our throat, YouTube still rack it in but still in my mind months of work and millions of pounds spent on an advert that i either skip or walk away from is still wasted so up yours advertising fat cats and as Wang Chung said, 'In our dance hall days, We were cool on cries'.
Whatever that means.

May Goes To Trump's America

The first World leader to turn up on the shores of Donald Trump's new look America is our very own Prime Minister Theresa May who had stepped into a storm with other leaders ducking out of meeting the New President and swathes of the Civil Service walking out at the behaviour of the man in charge and now the astronauts joining the park rangers and scientists stoking a rebellion. 
Speaking to reporters prior to climbing aboard her plane, Theresa May said she and President Trump shared some of the same political values which is worrying as he has very different views on Putin, Israel, Syria, Torture, women, climate change, abortion, NATO, the UN and the Iranian nuclear deal then the rest of the World who seemed happy to let the UK go scrambling across the Atlantic first.
While May is there as she looks to plug a massive Brexit shaped hole in the British economy with American dollars, she has to be careful about how to approach the notoriously fragile Trump who is building up the migraines in his own backyard in an impressively quick time.
She has already said she has expressed a view to hi regarding his view on women and the Muslim ban and after his tweet on backing torture, she must mention how Britain wants no bar of that again.
Mostly, if he continues with his destructive behaviour, Britain must step back and not become an associate in any of Trumps nonsense because as it is the World treats him and his views as a joke, we don't want to be tarred with that same brush especially if he starts to move his toxic and calamitous views outside of America's borders and into foreign affairs as we have been there and done that with a dimly lit American President and are still paying the price.
Let him take down himself and America but be smart and take any trade deal offered but keep the noxious and odious man at arms length until he is removed from Office because it is very low odds that he will still be calling himself President in eighteen months time.

Wednesday, 25 January 2017

Doomsday Clock Moving?

The website for The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists have a link to the Doomsday Clock and an announcement that they will host a live international news conference at 3pm tomorrow to announce whether the minute hand of the historic clock will be adjusted.
I am guessing that as they are holding a news conference for it and they explain that the factors under consideration are a rise in nationalism worldwide, President Donald Trump’s comments on nuclear arms and climate issues, more sophisticated spying technology and a growing disregard for scientific expertise that it will tick closer to midnight and Armageddon.
As of today it stands at three minutes before midnight and has been at that time since 2015 and the time the clock was set to for the darkest hours of the 1980s Cold War. The 14 minutes to midnight time in 1995 was the furthest it has ever been and two minutes the shortest in 1963 although 2017 could very well be on a par with that year.
In the 2016 announcement that the clock was remaining at three minutes to midnight, the Atomic Scientists explained that 'The probability of global catastrophe is very high, and the actions needed to reduce the risks of disaster must be taken very soon. The Clock ticks. Global danger looms. Wise leaders should act - immediately."
Looking around at all the wise leaders we have now, that went unheeded then.

1984 Is Top Novel

I would suggest to anybody that George Orwell's dystopian novel, 1984, is well worth a read especially to the younger generation if only to see what tv programmes Room 101 and Big Brother are all about but in the current age of Donald Trump and his 'alternative facts', it is even more appealing.
Good news then that sales of 1984 have soared since Donald Trump and his hoard landed in the White House and laughably tried to silence any criticism in the media, especially the size of the crowd at his inauguration.
Orwell's classic novel is a tale of a society where facts are distorted using a fictional language called 'newspeak' for example the much maligned 'alternative facts' which to anyone else means plain not being truthful or lying over the claim that Mr Trump's inauguration drew in record crowds even though photographs showed more people attended Barack Obama's.
The book, first published in 1949, topped Amazon's bestseller list which is a great thing as everyone should read it and not just because it is a cracking good read but for references to an imagined dystopia that chime scarily close to things happening today.

Tuesday, 24 January 2017

How Did We Get Here?

Christians would have us believe that God formed man from dust on the ground and blew life in through his nostril and women will add on the bit where God stepped back, looked at Adam and said, 'I can do better than that' and created a woman from one of Adam's ribs.
All makes perfect sense, men from dust and women from a bit Adam's skeleton so all that evolving over billions of years from single-celled organisms can be put to bed as silly nonsense.
Other religions have their own spin on how we got here, the Ancient Greeks believed Prometheus created man out of mud in the likeness of the gods and Athena breathed life into his clay figure although he went too far and gave humans fire for which he was chained to a rock with an eagle tearing at his liver which grew back everyday.
Hinduism which predated Christianity by thousands of years also had a man and woman from which all humans came, Yama and Manu who sprang forth from the feet of the God Purusa although he didn't provide any apples for snacks.
Ancient Egyptians put human existence down to Re and some divine masturbation which produces a divine son and daughter who are so unruly that Re's tears reign down on the Earth and become mankind after which he retires to the heavens and became the Sun.
The Korean version begins with the a tiger and a bear who pray to the God Hwan-ung that they want to be human and are given a test which only the bear succeeds and is made into a woman. Hwan-ung and the former bear get it on, have a child named Dan Gun who goes on to father the Korean race although it is not said who with but the only woman at first was his mother...let's move swiftly on.              
The Babylonians have us descending from the spilt blood of a Godly corpse while the Chinese consider us the parasites which have fallen off the body of P'an whose body fell apart after the effort of separating the Earth and the Sky.
The Norse had us arriving courtesy of Odin breathing life into two tree trunks, turning them into Ask and Embla, the first man and woman who created the rest of us.
In Tibet the first man and woman were the result of an ogre and a monkey while according to Australian aboriginals a Star and the Moon sent down there son and daughter to control the animals who were running amok.            
The Samoans believe that we developed from worms that swarmed around the Fue plant so all in all, considering that we got her via a Gods feet, a bit of God on Bear action, the dripping corpse of a God, a couple of tree stumps or a drunken fumble with a primate, the Christian belief that we came from a pile of dust and a bit of ribcage is not so silly after all and whichever tale is true, they all still make more sense than a gradual evolution over billion of years. Don't they?

Onto France For Next Election

So the media circus has packed up its equipment and moved on to France where the next important election is due to happen and although they don't have a candidate like Donald Trump, they do also have a right wing racist just as vilified in Marine Le Pen of the National Front.
The spotlight at the moment is on Socialist Party candidate Benoit Hamon who has suddenly risen up from the pack to comfortably win the first round primary and now faces a shoot-out with Manuel Valls for the Socialist Party candidacy.
François Fillon of the Republican Party is favourite to take the Presidency but Benoit Hamon is being labelled a dark horse and he does have the momentum mainly due to an idea that seems to be growing in popularity globally, universal payments.  
The idea is that each citizen receives a monthly payment regardless of employment or income with Hamons proposal that by 2022 every French citizens will receive €750 a month which works out to approximately £650.
I understand the argument that it would eradicate poverty and free people to do what they want but struggle to get my head around how this could possibly work and critics have estimated its would cost between €300-€400bn.
A 2012 affordability study done in the Republic of Ireland by Social Justice Ireland found that basic income would be affordable with a 45% income tax rate across the board to continue to fund all current government spending with savings coming from government offices that would be made redundant such as Social Security and reduced Government costs such as Health as conditions related to poverty would be less common.
I'm not sure about it as it falls entirely on people working and paying the 45% tax and with an income guaranteed of £650 then people will work less hours therefore earning less and ultimately paying less in tax which would have to used to fund the program.
Hopefully, if Mr Hamon wins we will get a chance to see it in action and if it works it will be adopted elsewhere but if it doesn't then France is going to be in for a hard and very expensive fall.

Supreme Court Frustrates Brexiters Again

Much gnashing of teeth from the Brexiters this morning as the Courts decide that the Government cannot just trigger Article 50 to remove ourselves from Europe but they must gain Parliamentary permission first.
Hence much mention of the will of the people which is a bit misleading as it is the will of a tad over half the people, there was 48% of us who wanted Britain to remain.
As a remainer who thinks that anyone who has heard the arguments against leaving and still wants us to go probably hasn't been listening properly i would be happy if the whole thing gets dropped but it won't but this makes the process a bit more complicated and frustrating which is a small consolation.
We will still be leaving and the Government will be doing all it can to keep to its end of March deadline for triggering Article 50 but it has the complication of having to get approval by the Members of Parliament who could really put a spanner in the Governments plans which seem to be to blag the whole thing.
Theresa May set out a pretty poor plan the other week which was we want to come out but still have all the benefits we enjoy now or else we will turn into a tax exile like a chillier version of the Cayman Islands.
The truth is we will say what we want, the EU will tell us what we can have and we will fudge it so we end up the wost of both worlds where we have to either take ourselves ourselves out of the largest Single Market and 500 million potential customers or pay for access to it and accept the free movement of people as part of the deal so all we would have achieved is losing our
seat at the decision making table.
I don't expect the MP's to frustrate the Government for long but if they can stop the Government just walking away in a Hard Brexit which will devastate Britain, then it has to be applauded.

Monday, 23 January 2017

UK Song For Europe 2017

Eurovision song Contest seems even more pointless now as Brexit showed Europe we hate them, they make no secret that they can't stand us right back but in that stiff upper lip British way, we still think we have a chance in the singing competition which we never did very well in even when we were on good terms with our neighbours.
So today we unveiled the six shortlisted UK Eurovision entries and all are as limp as an erectile dysfunction meeting (i assume) which removes the usual excuse that we had a decent song but came last because the Europeans hate us because this time we will come last because whichever song wins the right to represent the UK in May is going to be a duffer. 
All songs are sung by X-Factor contestants and the winner is to be chosen by a mix of judges and the public because last time we chose it alone we went with Joe and Jake and 24th place out of 25.
The bookies favourite is Holly Brewer's dull 'Wish I Loved You More' but it is like choosing if you want vomit or diarrhoea rubbed into your hair.
I will still watch but between now and May i will be researching my family history to see which country i have a tenuous link to cheer on which luckily, being English, i can use at the next World Cup also. 

Let There Be (Artificial) Life

Science obviously doesn't think we have enough organisms on the planet so they have managed to create some synthetic artificial ones.
An excited person in glasses and a white lab coat has been explaining how organisms have been created with synthetic DNA which paves the way for entirely new life forms although the only new life-forms they have created so far are E coli microbes so we are not ready to grant them human rights so far.    
The initial work was aimed at making bugs that churn out new kinds of proteins which can be harvested and turned into drugs to treat a range of diseases but the same technology had also lead to the ability to 'create organisms with wholly unnatural attributes and traits not found elsewhere in nature' which all sounds a bit concerning.
The scientific explanation used the letters X and Y a lot and what looked like pictures of tiny ladders but ended with a stern looking professor type saying: 'This will lead to the concept of semi-synthetic living systems'.
Humans creating new forms of life? What could possibly go wrong or maybe i have just seen too many films where scary things escape from scientific labs and ravage all human life.

Stopping Israel's Unlawful Actions

Well that United Nations Resolution didn't do much as Israel waited until Obama was safely out the door before announcing it was building 560 new settlement homes in occupied East Jerusalem.
The United Nations security council adopted a resolution demanding a halt to all Israeli settlement in the occupied territories after Barack Obama’s administration refused to veto the resolution and reiterated that Israeli settlement was a 'flagrant violation of international law'.
Now that Obama has gone and Donald Trump is in charge, the Israeli Government have decided they can carry on snatching Palestinian land stating: 'The rules of the game have changed with Donald Trump's arrival as president. We no longer have our hands tied as in the time of Barack Obama'.
The Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas said that: 'We strongly condemn the Israeli decision to approve the construction' so what happens next now that the Israeli Government see a chance to push forward with much wider settlement programmes and force the Palestinians into an ever decreasing area.
The Palestinian leaders are already saying that they will seek International Criminal Court indictments of Israeli leaders, push for a formal probe into whether Israel is violating the Geneva Conventions, and get foreign governments to ban the import of any products made in Israeli settlements.
The EU already has a policy of clearly marking produce that comes from the disputed area and i am pleased to say that it has had an effect with a huge decrease in produce from that area much to the chagrin of the Israeli Government who predictably branded the move anti-Semitic.
So now it is over the the United Nations to see what they can do to bring Israel back into line as much as they ever have been and stop their murderous and unlawful actions with Russian style sanctions and legal action.

What Trident Missile Mishap Was That Then?

The first World leader to turn up at the White House to meet the new President Trump is our very own Theresa May although she is refusing to say if she will bring up the touchy subject of Trump being touchy around women. 
I assume she will be wearing a cricket box as extra protection but during her interview she did reveal that the subjects that she will mention are the fight against terrorism, trade and NATO and a return trip for the President to come to the UK which should be interesting considering the demonstrations held here at the weekend before he has even done anything Presidential, George W Bush had to invade a couple of countries on trumped up charges before he got that sort of treatment.
Something that certainly won't be discussed is Britain almost accidentally landing a nuclear test missile somewhere in Florida last year or if she knew and covered up the failure before spending £40 billion on the misfiring system.
Four times she answered about having faith in the Trident system when asked about her knowledge of the failed test and then tried to turn the argument around to needing a nuclear deterrent which falls down if you send £40 billion on one that doesn't work properly.
In a move that was once the behaviour of the Soviet Union or North Korea where they won’t admit to things going wrong, the Government wheeled out a spokesman who said: 'The capability and effectiveness of the Trident missile, should we ever need to employ it, is unquestionable' which flies in the face of what we found out this weekend when the face it almost flew into was some retired
pensioner sitting outside his house in Florida.
Still, at least we have a nice demonstration to look forward to when the Orange President turns up if he hasn't been impeached or second amended by then.

Friday, 20 January 2017

2017 Looks Good With Trump In Charge

Don't you just hate it when you go to bed in one year and wake up propelled 30 years into the future, well that's exactly what happened to me today.
When i went to bed last night it was the 19th January 1987 and when i woke up it was 20th January 2017 and my wind up alarm clock had been replaced by something called a DAB Radio/Alarm clock and the place on the floor where i threw my Guns N Roses T-Shirt and ripped jeans last night was a neatly folded blouse, pencil skirt and sensible shoes. 
The TV was now a slender, long rectangular screen and after searching for the remote control i discovered an older, fatter version of the shy, introverted tea boy i knew from the Streatham and Tooting News presenting a morning TV show and he was chattering about the New American President, his friend no less, being inaugurated today.
While checking out the window to see if flying cars or jet packs had become a reality yet (they hadn't), i saw the Commodore 64 had been replaced by a tall black box and where the shoebox of game cassettes previously sat was now a rack of shiny silver discs.
It took a while to find out how to turn the thing on and the screen confusingly flashed 'WINDOWS' and showed me a screen of small pictures instead of the 'PRESS PLAY ON TAPE' message i was used to seeing.
The Streatham and Tooting News tea boy continued wittering away in the background about something called an Obama and a Trump (did make me smile as i wondered if a trump was still another name for a fart in this strange future year) and i found that if you moved the thing shaped like a bar of soap then the arrow moved on the screen and i directed it towards the picture named Firefox Shortcut and (accidentally) clicked the button on the top which opened up something called a Google but the Google had a flashing cursor so i felt a bit more comfortable and typed in 'TV anchor Streatham and Tooting news tea boy'.
After seeing his name was Piers Morgan and feeling happy that the shy introverted boy had landed a job in TV i typed in 'US Presidential Inauguration'.
Seems since i had been asleep Ronald Reagan had been replaced by a George Bush, then a Bill Clinton, then George Bush again, then Barack Obama and now Donald Trump (snigger) was about to become President.
There were a lot of blue paragraphs on the Google which showed that judging by all the references to him grabbing pussies he obviously liked cats which was a good start and when i saw he enjoyed Tweeting regularly, well you can't hold anything against a person who does bird impressions.
The Streatham and Tooting News tea boy was showing a picture of Donald Trump shaking hands with the latest Soviet Union leader called Putin and they seemed very happy and smiley together so i guess the Cold War is over, especially as the tea-boy explained that the Russian had helped Trump become President and a bit of cooperation between previous enemies is always nice, he had even organised a peace party for him in a Moscow Hotel, i think he said peace party anyway.
I ended up reading that the Trump (snigger) had built many hotels and when he was President he said that he would build walls in America and Mexico so it's good to see that he will get his hands dirty and won't lose his building trade skills. 
As is usual with these leaps, i didn't have very long in the future and before i had chance to see if a promising singer named Madonna ever went on to do anything, the flashing white light came to bring me back to 1987 but i just had time to type this out and leave it here on the WINDOWS for the 2017 version of me to read and let me know that as i understand it, the World in 2017 seems in good hands with the Pussy grabbing wall builder who enjoys a good party piss up at the helm and if he is a friend of that nice, shy and retiring Piers guy, then he must be ok.

Wednesday, 18 January 2017

Alone Again (Naturally)

You do have to feel for Donald Trump because not only is he so fat and ugly that he has to pay for women to urinate on him, but nobody wants to come to his big party as now more than 50 Democrats are refusing to watch as the sex deviant is sworn in as the 45th US president
Not enough that his political colleagues are poo-pooing him but almost anyone who can hold a microphone has declined his invite to sing at his shindig citing excuses from washing their hair that day to just not wanting to having anything to do with the perverted racist.
The inauguration has already been cut to 90 minutes and along with a dearth of star names there will now been rows of empty seats but the Trump team say that it's OK because they need the seats for ordinary people and have been running adverts on Facebook and Twitter inviting people to come visit Washington for the inauguration and featuring a video of Mr Trump promising that the whole
thing will be 'fantastic'.
An estimated 800,000 to 900,000 people are expected to flood the nation's capital on Friday for the event although that also includes a number who are there to protest against Trump and doesn't compare favourably to Barack Obama who had a crowd of 1.8 million people when he took office eight years ago.
With just 2 days to go until Russia's choice becomes the first orange President, the President of Destination DC, the city's convention and tourism bureau has said that the level of enthusiasm and demand for hotel rooms has been: 'much, much slower than anyone would have anticipated for a first-term president'.
Never one to pass up a Post-Truth when he can just plain flat out lie, the president-elect dismissed the low numbers as 'phony' and 'rigged', insisting that: "people are pouring into Washington in record numbers" which they will be as over 200 activist groups and organisations have signed on to support a march to demonstrate for racial and gender equality, affordable health care, abortion rights and voting rights which are perceived to be under threat from a Trump presidency.
Poor Trump, if only he wasn't such an idiot.

Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Another One Bites The (Moon) Dust

For those of us with an interest all astronomy, it is a depressing fact that 1969 saw the first man to walk on the moon and 1972 saqw the last one because we haven't bothered going back since.
With the death of Eugene Cernan, of the 12 men who have walked on the moon, six are now dead and of the remaining half dozen the youngest is 81 so we could very soon have nobody alive who has walked on anything other the our own planet.   
Eugene Cernan was the last person to walk on the moon although that was due to his seat being closest to the door of the lunar module so he was last in and had to shut the door behind him.
During the interviews being shown during clips on the TV, he said something quite revealing, stating that to his mind man went to the moon 'too early considering what we’re doing now in space'.
He did make a good point because the next step should have been moon bases and manned landings on Mars but almost 50 years on we have abandoned our lunar partner and we are still trying, and failing, to successfully land probes on the red planet so landing a man on one of our nearest planetary neighbours is still a pipe dream.

May's Calamitous Self-Harm For Britain

If nothing else you have to admire Theresa May's bravado.
Finally she has spelt it out what Brexit will look like and it is no access to the Single Market but maybe remaining a member of the Single Market and removing ourselves from the Customs Union but having a deal to stay in it and absolutely, definitely no longer making contributions to the European Union every year although there could be some European programmes that the UK will contribute to.
All in all it came across as very much 'WE ARE BRITAIN AND WE WANT THIS...if you don't mind awfully and can we still be part of the club if that's okay with you all'.
She even sounded tough when she warned that trying to punish the UK for leaving would be an act of 'calamitous self-harm' for the remaining EU members, yep, all 27 of them.
I would offer very short odds on what Theresa May wants and what the EU offer will be very different things, as they have said countless times, access to the Single Market, the largest on the planet, means accepting free movement of people and paying for the privilege, no deals, take it or leave it.
That Theresa May is now saying we will leave regardless of any deals is beyond delusional, as were those who voted for Brexit, seemingly content to do the equivalent of taking our shop out of the middle of the high street with 500 regular million buyers and relocate it in an out of town retail centre with tens of millions of shoppers.
Why would any country choose to deal with Britain and its 65 million potential customer when it can get a better deal across the channel in Europe with its 500 million potential customers or China's 1.3 billion or India's 1.2 billion.
For all the bravado, the Prime Minister and the 52% who voted for Brexit are the ones undertaking the 'calamitous self-harm' which will become apparent in the two years after Article 50 and the demands May is making now turn out to be so much hot air as the economic implications begin to bite and Britain's influence on all things global shrinks to the lowest it has ever been.

Sunday, 15 January 2017

BuzzFeed and Journalism

Obama was the first black President but Trump is about to make history as the nation's first orange one but the colour everyone is interested in is Golden, as in the colour of the showers that the next President has a preference for.
As if he isn't mock-worthy enough already, the four times bankrupt businessman has given further ammunition to anyone who wants it despite his protestations that the prostitute piss party in the Moscow hotel room did not happen.
Although Trump seemed to take umbrage at CNN, digital media 'BuzzFeed' were the outfit who made the decision to publish an intelligence report apparently commissioned by Trump's Republicans opponents, filled with salacious and unsubstantiated claims about the next Presidents outrageous behaviour in Russia.
The news website posted the unredacted documents with a warning that the contents were 'unverified and potentially unverifiable' but put the rest of the media in the position of either ignoring a story in the public domain which they had sat on for weeks as it was not independently verified or repeating the allegations with the previous mentioned caveats which they almost all did.
Some critics have rounded on BuzzFeed, calling it irresponsible for letting loose 'gossip and rumour' who replied that: 'Publishing this document was not an easy or simple call, and people of good will may disagree with our choice. But publishing this dossier reflects how we see the job of reporters in 2017' and repeated the warning that reason to doubt the allegations.
My reading of the situation is that both the UK and US intelligence chiefs appeared to be giving the 'rumours and gossip' some credibility so have a weight of legitimacy about them coupled with Trump's own strong rejection of reports that Russia had hacked the US election and his subsequent back-down which shows an immediate knee-jerk reaction to dismiss and belittle anything which doesn't show him in a good light until the proof is such that he has to accept it.
Throw in the racist, sexist and 'pussy grabbing' remarks and mocking of the disabled reporter along with the arguments with the parents of the dead soldier which show his moral bar isn't set very high and you could very well believe it all.
As for Buzzfeed, to publish unverified intelligence is irresponsible and a bit troubling that they see it as the way journalism works in 2017 which it isn't and should never be, a minimum of double sourcing is lesson one in any college journalism course. 
To their credit the UK and US broadcasting media rejected reporting the allegations until they were in the public domain and then draped them so full of caveats that they watered them down (excuse the pun) as much as possible to leave nobody in any doubt that these allegations were unverified.
What this does seem to show is the difference between 'new media' and 'old media' who are aware that their credibility is at stake if they publish or broadcast something as meaty as this without proof to say nothing of possible slander proceedings, something that 'new media' seem indifferent to.
Whether it turns out to be true or not, the mud has been thrown and it will amusingly stick to Trump throughout his tenure and i'm happy with that as he is well worthy of all mockery coming his way but my concern is that Buzzfeed will be considered 'journalism' which it isn't because Editors of any respected news organisation know that to publish information it knows may not be true and has no supporting evidence is not how journalism works.

Saturday, 14 January 2017

The 12" Extended Remix

One of my overriding memories of my music buying youth was queueing up outside HMV for Guns N Roses 'Use Your Illusions I and II' which was released at midnight in 1991.
I took it home, ripped off the wrapper and kept getting shouted at to 'TURN THAT BLOODY RACKET DOWN, IT'S 2AM' by my dad as i wheeled through the songs.
What Guns N Roses were famous for were their long songs and the Illusion albums had Civil War at 8 minutes, 9 minutes of November Rain and Estranged and a whopping 10 minutes of Coma.
For us children of the 80s the only way you would get a song over 5 minutes was to buy the 12" Extended Remix and i still have a few knocking around although i don't own a record player and they haven't seen a record needle held down by a taped on 2p piece since OJ Simpson was in the news for not killing the wife that he killed.  
Since them days music has gone from vinyl to cassette to CD and now you pay for a download so you don't even get to handle the medium it comes on now but most sadly you don't get the 12" extended version of songs.
I have a box somewhere stock full of 12" remixes of 80s and 90s records and occasionally i drag it out, look at the artwork and wonder whatever happened to the mustachioed dancer from Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
While many of the 12" extended versions were just an instrumental version with the original song tacked on the end there were some classics and almost completely different songs which almost makes me nostalgic enough to go out and buy a record player so just i can hear them again.
I won't though because despite what some people say, songs never sounded better on vinyl, they sounded scratchy and hissy while digital is just so much clearer but in a tremendous own goal for the record industry, easier to copy and pass around but i do miss the artwork and the 12" extended versions.
Oh, and the FGTH guy with a 'tache went off to live in New Zealand and released an album called The Cowboy Years in 2010, so that's nice for him. 

Thursday, 12 January 2017

Trump Taking The Piss

He has the golden hair, golden skin and even a golden lift and now the next President of the United States has a golden shower as well if the blackmail papers are to be believed.
I don't know if the voters who put their cross next to Donald Trumps name are regretting it yet but we have entered a golden age for anyone who likes seeing someone who is already an embarrassing idiot make an even bigger fool of themselves on the world stage.
According to the British spy who ran up an incendiary 35 page document on Trump, he is not only in the pay of the Russians and about to spend the next four years running America for the benefit of those in Moscow, but he also enjoys a good old fashioned pee party with prostitutes in hotel rooms.
All lies and fake news the man-baby may have blustered, comparing it to Nazi propaganda spread by sick people but the UK and US intelligence have taken it seriously and both nations are now launching full investigations into whether the intelligence can be substantiated.
The BBC are reporting that CIA Officers have said that there is even more compromising material about Trump in Russian hands which has yet to be revealed and that the material was 'of a sexual nature'.
It could all be a fake and a case of Putin being the wolf preying on Trump who is by far the weakest, and dumbest, sheep but it is hilarious that the man who will become President in eight days is such a laughing stock around the Globe and is dragging not only himself but his country through the urine soaked mud.       
How anyone could even take him seriously before this came out was hard to fathom but now we can add piss-stained pervert to the impressive list of insults stacked up against the nasty little racist.
If nothing else, the next four years (if he lasts that long) are going to be a boon time for comedians on comedy shows for which they can thank the American voters who thought he was a better choice than Hillary Clinton.

Tuesday, 10 January 2017

Section 40 Not The Complete Answer

Much furore over Section 40 which is the Governments plan to shackle the press after the Leveson enquiry highlighted years of prolonged harassment and gross invasions of privacy by the press.
The tippign point proved to be the actions of the tabloids over the missing schoolgirl Milly Dowler whose phone they hacked and even deleted messages on the girls phone to make room for more messages to listen to from distraught friends and family.
That it gave the family and police hope that Milly was still alive and deleting her messages, when she was later found dead, and the News of The World and Sun newspaper were found responsible, the cry went up that something had to be done to stop the press from continuing to act in such an abhorrent way.  
At the time the press was self-regulating which was obviously not working so the Government have now come up with Section 40 which will see state regulation of newspapers.
Those newspapers who refuse to sign up to the regulator will be subject to face paying all the legal costs of all sides even in cases they win where they have been found not guilty of impinging on peoples privacy.
Malpractice by the press needs to be stopped but it is a fine balancing act between a press that is free to investigate and criticize and one that takes advantage of this freedom to harass and perform gross invasions of privacy.
I don't know the answer but self-regulation has not worked but the Government deciding what newspaper can and can't print is not a direction we want to be heading so maybe it should be a case of only certain newspapers, those with a record of illegal practises, being brought under state regulation with a threat of others to follow if they take the dark road travelled by the likes of the Murdoch Press who were by far the main cause of the need to act in the first place.

Why Isn't Hollwood Pointing At Obama Also?

As much as i like to see Hollywood actors and actresses use their platform to berate leaders they don't agree with, Bush was a regular recipient as Trump has been even before he takes the reins, but i can't recall anyone clutching a Golden Globe or an Oscar and having a go at Obama.
Nobody seems to have made an acceptance speech and wagged a finger at Obama for not closing Guantanamo or the disgraceful behaviour towards Chelsea Manning or Edward Snowden as part of the record number of whistle blowers prosecuted by the current President.
I can't recall anybody with a film credit to their name berating him over helping Saudi Arabia to flatten Yemen and take out a crowds at funerals and weddings nor the disaster which was Libya when Obama used the US Air Force as cover for Al Queada.   
Maybe we missed the time when someone in Hollywood took him to task for conducting ten times more drone attacks than George W Bush as during his tenure he dropped bombs on seven different countries, all Muslim nations.
Meryl Streep was strangely quiet on the Obama plans to aid and arm the Syrian rebels against the Syrian leadership even though everyone was shouting that they were morphing from Al Queada into ISIS and turning the American weapons on civilians just as she seemed to be looking elsewhere when he stirred up problems in Ukraine which led to war and worsening relations with Russia.
Most disappointingly, Hollywood looked the other way when the troops under his direct command dropped 26,171 bombs during 2016, 71 a day, and resulted in massive civilian casualties and several 'accidental' hospital hits.
Everyone has the right to air their grievances about Trump and they should continue to do so but the moral outrage has to be evenly spread and dished out to all who deserve it lets not forget that Obama came to the floor as a good guy but has been just as keen as his much derided predecessor in bombing and blowing people up, so it would be nice for someone with a platform to remind the World that while Trump may be a potential global disaster, Obama has been one.

Thanks Canada

Avril Lavinge, Michael Buble, Bryan Adams, Nelly Furtado, Alanis Morisette, Shania Twain, Ryan Reynolds, William Shatner, Michael J Fox, John Candy and Leslie Nielsen, just some of the things Canada has sent our way and now we can add another to the list as it hurls an Arctic Blast our way.
Thundersnow and blizzards are set to hit the UK this week sending the MET Office diving for the yellow warning alert button as temperatures are set to plunge to -10C.
Temperatures in mainland Europe have already plunged with Polish thermometers diving to a chilly -30C and the Serbian ones -28C while beaches in Greece and Cyprus were blanketed in snow.
Eight people have died in Italy from the polar blast and lumps of ice have formed in the Adriatic Sea and planes were grounded in Turkey's largest city, Istanbul, as 65cm (25.6 inches) of snow fell on the city.
The Pope has asked God to 'warm our hearts to help' but i think a blanket and a hot water bottle would be more beneficial or failing that a sled.

No Songs Sung Blue

The long running saga of who is refusing to sing for Donald Trump at his inauguration is continuing and today Charlotte Church has told the serial groper to go do one as she turned down his invitation to perform.   
Charlotte had been approached by members of the President-elect's team but replied that: 'Your staff have asked me to sing at your inauguration, a simple internet search would show I think you're a tyrant'.
That would be a no then and fast on the heels of X Factor runner-up Rebecca Ferguson who gave him equally short thrift although she did say she would give it a go if she could sing an anti-racism song which obviously went down like a Trump haircut at a hairdressers convention.
DJ Moby also revealed he had been asked to perform and answered and answered with: 'Hahahahaha, wait, Hahahaha, really? I guess I'd DJ at an inaugural ball if as payment Trump released his tax returns' although he was kind enough to suggest a set list which included Rage Against the Machine’s 'Killing in the Name', Radiohead’s 'Idioteque', Billie Holiday’s 'Strange Fruit' and Green Days 'American Idiot'.
I don't expect Meryl Streep to turn up either so as it stands, half of the Rockettes dance group, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir under threat of expulsion if they don't turn up and a 16-year-old 'America's Got Talent' singer are all confirmed to play at Trump's inauguration in 10 days time.

Monday, 9 January 2017

Man-Baby v The Actress

Defending himself on Twitter, Donald Trump said he 'would never mock a disabled reporter' not long after he mocked a disabled reporter in response to Meryl Streep criticising the orange faced Presidential elect impression of a disabled reporter during her Golden Globes acceptance speech last night. 
With a paper thin skin, Trump said Streep was 'one of the most over-rated actresses in Hollywood' and blamed the media for being dishonest over there reporting of him mocking a disabled reporter, which of course, he would never do.
If you put aside that he is an absolute liability about to sail America down the swanee, Trump is going to be golden for reporters and journalists in a way that Obama never was with his child-like temper tantrums every time someone calls him out for being an abusive, bullying idiot.
Sadly, i fear that worse will come and mocking disabled people will be well down the list when historians come to write up the Trump President years.

Tories Running Down The NHS

The Red Cross calling the NHS a 'humanitarian crisis' must be music to Conservative Parties ears because that is the plan, to run it down to such a state that it HAS to be privatised.
Hard to argue against when they have been underfunding it for the best part of a decade and the man in charge of it, Jeremy Hunt, wrote a book called 'Direct Democracy: An Agenda For A New Model Party' where he wrote that he wanted to privatise the NHS.
Due to the lack of funding, hospitals have been closing health services have been asked to to identify which services can be centralised and which can be axed or centralised.
In my area alone 2 hospitals have been closed in recent years meaning waiting times at the one remaining hospital is measured in hours with 4-5 hours being the norm. 
We are not a poor country, we are the worlds 6th richest economy and can afford to properly fund our NHS but it appears that our politicians have decided not to do so but will spend £133bn on nuclear weapons we won't ever use and £56bn on a new train line for slightly faster trains. 
It has only taken the right wing Conservative Party seven years to run the NHS down to breaking point, depressingly impressive even by their standards.

Saturday, 7 January 2017

The Killers

A Killers T-shirt has caused consternation as this Killers band on the World Mass Destruction Tour depicts Hitler on drums, Bin Laden on lead guitar, Saddam Hussein on rhythm guitar and George W Bush on Bass.
I don't know how good Adolf was at keeping a beat going but i would guess if the t-shirt was the top four killers then he would make the shortlist but not sure about the rest.
Using to check the facts, Hitler is sat in third place in the most murderous regimes with Mao Zedong top with 60 million victims, Joseph Stalin second with 40 million, then Hitler with 30 million and then King Leopold II of Belgium who was responsible for 8 million deaths.   
If they are the headline act then the t-shirt is widely wrong as George W Bush is responsible for 1 million deaths which puts him 10th, Saddam's victims numbered 600,000 which makes him 12th and Bin Laden doesn't even feature in the top 36.  
It would be like going to see Gun N' Roses but instead of Slash and Duffy there's Brian May and Roger Deacon instead.
I'll give this one a miss i reckon.

Beware Monday Emails

Emails are an intractable part of modern life, most of us have a work one, a couple of personal ones, one which we use to sign up for things knowing full well it will be bombarded with spam afterwards and probably a few more if you are Hillary Clinton but email has become so important that it really is one of those things that you couldn't do without.
An email management service, Boomerang, estimates that approximately 200 million are sent everyday worldwide and the average office worker receives or sends 120 each workday.
One of my bugbears is when people just launch into the email without introduction, not even a Hi Lucy at the top, call me old fashioned but i wouldn't send a letter or make a telephone call without my first words being a greeting so it annoys me that some people don't think they need to do so in an email.  
Boomerang say that the most frequent mistake people make when emailing are making an error with capitalisation and misspelling in the subject line which not only looks unprofessional and sloppy but will make the email less likely to be replied to.
Rather predictably, Monday emails have more errors than any other day of the week which make sense because we all want to rush through the boring 'what time is the meeting today' ones to answer the ones from the exiled Ethiopian ministers.

Of Course Russia Helped Trump Become POTUS

It is without doubt that the Russian President Putin would want Donald Trump to be the man sat inside the White House because he ran rings around President Obama and sees Trump as an even bigger softer target to push the Russian agenda.
That Trump seems content to bend America over and invite Russia to be gentle can either be down to some Trump master-plan or Trump being a political novice that Putin is going to play like a piccolo.
Putin is a hard nosed Politician, Trump is a four times bankrupt reality TV man with a child's temperament and wholly unsuitable for the top job so Putin must think Christmas and all his Birthdays have come at once.
Regarding the Russian hacking to help their man get elected, it would be shocking if they didn't as it would be shocking if America did not try to influence internal affairs of nations worldwide.
The Americans and the Russians are the World leaders in the field of intervention, research by political scientist Dov Levin found that the US and the USSR/Russia together intervened no less than 117 times in foreign elections between 1946 and 2000.
Where Russia 'helped' Donald Trump to gain power, America 'helped' Boris Yeltsin take the Presidency in the 1996 election after the USSR split.
Removing leaders or 'regime change' has been an American thing for decades, since the tune of the century America has taken it upon themselves to remove the leaders of Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya and Ukraine so while allegations of Russian interference in the US elections are undoubtedly alarming for Americans, nobody was invaded or who cities and populations laid to waste in bringing their choice of leader to power. 
The US has interfered with impunity in the internal affairs of so many other countries but my question would be why is Donald Trump so adamant that Russia wasn't involved somewhere in the process because the big news would be if they wasn't

Thursday, 5 January 2017

Coming Back For Their Weather Balloon

There are many reasons why we are less than amused that Hillary Clinton didn't win the American election but one of the main ones was because she promised to make public the Area 51 files and reveal if we are being watched by little green men or women from other planets. 
As it turned out she didn't win and the weak 'weather balloon' excuse still holds so unless Donald Trump sends out a tweet in the middle of the night spilling the beans, we are still none the wiser. 
What we also don't know is what NASA has called 'Massive Objects' which are hurtling towards Earth which they can't identify.
The NASA scientists think the first of these objects which is set to fly close to Earth this week, is a comet, however they have yet to determine what the other one is, as it isn't set to properly appear until February this year.
They have ruled out it being an asteroid or a comet as it isn't displaying the usual gas cloud around it but although they are baffled by exactly what it is, the objects present course will take it 32 million miles from the Earth and 'is not a threat at present'.
It's the 'at present' bit that is worrying, especially as they don't know what it is but my guess would be an alien probe from some far flung galaxy on it's way to explore our Solar System in a search for life.
It is due to arrive, and hopefully carry on past, on 25 February so may be a good idea to turns the lights out and pretend nobody is home because it may just be coming to claim the 'weather balloon' that it lost in this planets vicinity about 70 years ago.

Monday, 2 January 2017

Facebook Owner Likes God

I have never understood religious folk, not the ones who come to it later in life anyway. The youngsters who are brainwashed by their parents i have sympathy for but what makes an adult ignore all the science facts and reason that actually there is a big man in the sky somewhere who made all this?
That is the route Mark Zuckerberg has taken as he has eschewed his atheist beliefs and now asserts that 'religion is very important'.
Not it isn't but anyway Zuckerberg undertook a religious rebirth over the Christmas period and said that he went through a period where he questioned things but now has refound his religious zeal again although he hasn't given details on what undeniable, verifiable proof he has of the existence of God.
I would say he didn't question things very hard otherwise he couldn't have failed to notice that the whole religion thing is a crock and the God/Jesus story that he just celebrated is a mix-up of stories stolen from other older religions around at the time.
Still, up to him if he wants to dedicate himself to God but he is right about religion being important, those suicide bombers and terrorist attacks all in God's name wouldn't be happening otherwise.

Send In The Clown (He Is Already Here)

If he wasn't such a terrible human being you would feel sorry for Donald Trump, but because he is nobody should and that's why he can't get anybody to sing at his inauguration so he has been reduced to pleading with half remembered British singers such as Rebecca Ferguson who was the runner up in the 2010 X-Factor.
His dancers have at least been sorted out after the first choice dance troupe turned him down the Mormon Tabernacle Choir have been press-ganged into it under threat of being kicked out of the choir but even some of them have taken the moral high ground and walked rather than dance for the orange haired lunatic anyway.
Andrea Bocelli initially agreed to sing for Trump but withdrew after a fan backlash and Elton John was apparently one of the big names who had been approached and politely declined the offer but Rebecca Ferguson has agreed on the condition that she chooses the song and her choice is the anti-racism anthem 'Strange Fruit' by Billie Holiday.
'The song speaks to all the disregarded and down trodden black people in the US and is a reminder of how love is the only thing that will conquer all the hatred in this world' she explained which probably means she won't be getting the call anytime soon.
With only 18 days left to plan it, the Trump inauguration looks at the moment like it will be half a dozen Mormon dancers and Sarah Palin belting out some show tunes.

2017: What To Look Forward To

The changing of the calendar always brings hopes that the new year will be an improvement on the last one but invariably we realise before January is out that it is going to be much the same.
In 2017 there are elections in France with ultra right wing Marine Le Pen doing disappointingly well in polls as is Geert Wilders in The Netherlands although we hope the French and Dutch voters see sense and don't vote for the clown parties but then i remember we said about American voters last year and look who is the President elect over there.  
Elections are also to be held in Hungary and Iran and with Iran being manoeuvred into the sights of a warmongering Israel and USA so who takes over in Tehran could turn out to be pivotal.
Sex pest Donald Trump will be inaugurated on January 20 and nobody is expecting that Presidential term to turn out well considering he has annoyed large swathes of the globe, most importantly China, even before he gets his teeny tiny little hands on the nuclear codes and any unfortunate women in his close proximity.
Prime minister Theresa May has said she will trigger the two-year process for leaving the EU by the end of March although that date is expected to slide as the remaining EU members play hardball and watch us go for a long walk off a short pier and it finally sinks in what a monumental mistake 52% of us made. 
Communists will be celebrating though as it will be 100 years since the Russian revolution in 1917 which introduced us to Lenin, Stalin and ice-pick enthusiast Trotsky and was directly responsible for the dreadful 99 Red Balloons song by Nena and me having to sit through 'When The Wind Blows' film every year throughout my school years where i learnt that the way to survive a nuclear missile attack was to shelter under an upturned sofa. 
All in all 2017 will be much the same as 2016 only with different celebrities dying.

2017 Predictions

The problem with making predictions is that when they don't come true you can end up looking a right gimboid which is why many psychics on the internet now only make vague predictions such as much loved 90s star dies and terror attack in Europe.
The only psychic who appears willing to make specific predictions and risk the shouts of 'gimboid' is the Canadian Psychic Nikki who is the Psychic to the Stars so although she seems to be terrible at this guessing the future lark, here are her top 20 predictions for 2017:

    Kidnapping around the Trump family
    The moon will turn green
    Leaning tower of Piza in Italy collapsing
    Terrorist attack in Stockholm, Sweden
    Cuba becoming the 51st US State
    Houses of Parliament in London, England has a great fire
    Explosions on Wall Street, New York – many deaths
    A meteor hitting San Francisco
    A member of the Royal Family will be kidnapped
    A robot will break into the White House
    Iran and the US will attack each other
    The Golden Gate Bridge will be partly destroyed and many people dead
    A UFO lands in Lake Erie
    Bomb blast at Buckingham palace
    Squirrels attack people worldwide
    A beloved male singer turns out to be a woman
    A change in the British Monarchy.
    Bomb blast at 10 Downing Street, in London, England.
    A plane goes into Eiffel Tower in Paris.
    Kim Jong Un will vanish

As usual we will come back at the end of the year and see just which male singer turns out to be a woman, my money is on Justin Bieber.

Sunday, 1 January 2017

Who Could Be Gunning For Trump?

Come 20th January 2017, the most powerful man in the World will be Donald Trump which hasn't pleased Charlie Sheen who has asked God to send the Grim Reaper around to Trump Towers to give the orange haired businessman a tap on the shoulder and whisk him off to wherever orange haired businessmen end up.
Sheen quite rightly got the brickbats lobbed at him, nobody should be hoping for the death of anyone else but American Presidents have a habit of receiving fast traveling bullets so what are the chances that Charlie Sheen will be celebrating and Donald Trump will be assassinated?
Going on previous events, there is a 34% chance that he will be killed, injured or narrowly escape an assassination attempt as 16 of the previous 43 Presidents have had an attempt on their life.
That percentage increases significantly for all the soft Trump targets and attacks against his properties which have already started by those in his own nation and as he has properties Worldwide, it could very well be open season for Trump Hotels and Golf courses.
The President Trump's chances of him having less hotels in a couple of years time are almost 100% as his hotels span Europe, Asia and South America where the Trump brand is even less enamored than it is in his home country, with the exception of Russia possibly.
Throw in that the potential assassin could be from one of the many groups that Trump has irked, feminists, Mexicans, black Americans, Muslims, the disabled, a Trump University student, an environmentalist, a gay activist, a disgruntled Trump Hotel employee or even one from his own side of the ideological fence if he does not deliver the much promised Mexican wall or Muslim ban.
Assassination is not the only way to Trump could be stopped from fulfilling his Presidential obligations, his approval ratings are already in negative numbers and this is traditionally when a President is at his most popular so impeachment could be an issue that is raised at some point.
Given his age and obesity, there is also a chance that Trump will be replaced by his Vice President before the next election due to natural causes or if the CIA decide he is a danger to the USA he would still be found dead of 'natural causes'.
To end with, for those who like this sort of thing, in the 227 years that the USA has been around there have been four successful assassinations, meaning on average there is an assassination every 56 years and 9 months.
As JFK was assassinated in November 1963, 56 years and 9 months on from November 1963 is August 2020.
The Donald may want to keep an eye out for someone who looks very much like Charlie Sheen if he is still around in the summer of 2020.