Eurovision song Contest seems even more pointless now as Brexit showed Europe we hate them, they make no secret that they can't stand us right back but in that stiff upper lip British way, we still think we have a chance in the singing competition which we never did very well in even when we were on good terms with our neighbours.
So today we unveiled the six shortlisted UK Eurovision entries and all are as limp as an erectile dysfunction meeting (i assume) which removes the usual excuse that we had a decent song but came last because the Europeans hate us because this time we will come last because whichever song wins the right to represent the UK in May is going to be a duffer.
All songs are sung by X-Factor contestants and the winner is to be chosen by a mix of judges and the public because last time we chose it alone we went with Joe and Jake and 24th place out of 25.
The bookies favourite is Holly Brewer's dull 'Wish I Loved You More' but it is like choosing if you want vomit or diarrhoea rubbed into your hair.
I will still watch but between now and May i will be researching my family history to see which country i have a tenuous link to cheer on which luckily, being English, i can use at the next World Cup also.