FOAB: An Apology

 
To all staff,

It is with a heavy heart that I take keyboard in hand to inform you of the resignation of both my parents, the General Father of FOAB, Mr P,  and also the blogs Mother, Mrs P, the Chief Executive Officer of FOAB.
Please rest assured that during this turbulent time for our blog, our commitment to blogging is undimmed.
As you will be aware, the FOAB output has been under intense scrutiny in recent days, following complaints about our Posts from President Donald J Trump.
We always welcome that scrutiny and the opportunity to correct errors which is why i commissioned an investigation of bias within FOAB and found the resulting Memo deeply disturbing as it was found a systemic bias for describing the US president as being as thick as a whole carpenters store of planks of wood as well as being a 'giant Orange toddler', 'Mango Moron' and an 'Apricot coloured Fascist'.
Worse than that, FOAB made repeated mentions of the lies the US President made about his extremely close friendship with the most prolific pedophile in the modern era without explanation that actually, Jeffrey Epstein was friends with him, not the other way around.
There have been suggestions that the collapse in the quality of FOAB has been the result of the owners failure to emphasise many of the benefits of his Fascist and racist policies however it was never my intention that collapses in standards would lead to inaccuracies about people I disgreed with.
Most importantly, nothing could have been further from my thoughts than the idea of offending any Fascist, racists, close friends of sex offenders or even any low IQ right wingers who i disagreed with.
FOAB policies have now changed, and henceforth all mentions of the American President will make it clear that his weird, birds nest hair is actually a good look, that his face is not the unnatural clownish colour of a ripe carrot and that any mention of his being a racist, Hitler loving sex offender with a criminal record is balanced by mentioning him ending so many wars that he even had to make some of the combatants up.  
As a peace offering, I have dispatched to the White House a pair of extra small child's gloves to keep his teeny tiny hands warm and a framed copy of the legal documents pertaining to his various legal cases.

I hope this will bring an end to the matter.

Yours,

Lucy P
Blog Owner