If it's good enough for Somali warlords then it's good enough for Americans, arming their children.
As every responsible parent should know, handing your young child a weapon whose sole purpose is to kill is the height of good parenting but not just one of those big, cumbersome things, they need something that that their chubby little fingers can grip when they accidentally shoot Daddy in the butt, so luckily they can now get 'My First Rifle' which comes in blue, pink and rainbow colours with cute names like Cricket and Chipmunk.
In a country already awash with guns and horrific gun crime, it makes sense to every gun loving American that the answer is to bring even more guns into the equation and put them in the hands of children and make them look like toys.
It's the second amendment, the right to give your child the tools to not only blow their own brains out but the brains of anyone else within sight.
Don't listen to those soft limeys whose kids are playing with Barbies and Lego, real American kids play with guns in their bedrooms and what use will a car made out of bright yellow lego bricks be when the Government turn up to oppress you.
Be part of the well regulated militia, give your kid a gun TODAY and in a one time special offer sign up for Obamacare and receive a discount on accidental gunshot wounds and a helpful leaflet called 'SO YOU STUPIDLY HANDED YOUR KID A GUN AND THEY SHOT SOMEONE'. Essential reading for the deprived of brain cell parents the Cricket and Chipmunk guns are aimed at, and aimed at.
Wednesday, 30 April 2014
Eurovision 2014
Our singer this year is called Molly and the song is, being charitable, not the best tune we have entered so its United Kingdom null points again this year and a moan about Johnny Foreigner hating us and overlooking the song, being charitable again, isn't a classic.
How we can turn out musicians that have influenced the world of music for decades but can't find a tune to win a contest against the powerhouses of Latvia and Azerbaijan has always been a mystery and this year, staying with the charitable theme, we once again won't be troubling the left hand side of the score board.
Not having heard all the entries yet i can't predict who will win it but one of the favourites is Austria's Thomas Neuwirth or Conchita Wurst if you prefer his stage name.
A pretty man dressed as a woman singing in Austrian about a phoenix, what's not to like!!
Got to love the Eurovision Song Contest.
Nothing To See Here In Brunei
'Today i place my faith in and am grateful to Allah the almighty to announce that tomorrow, Thursday May 1, 2014, will see the enforcement of Sharia law phase one, to be followed by the other phases' so said Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah said in a speech today.
The implementation of Sharia law would mean that residents will face conviction by Islamic courts for their crimes with the first phase giving offenders large fines or jail time for pregnancy outside marriage, supporting other religions and failure to perform Friday prayers.
A second phase will go into effect in a years time include punishing those who steal or consume alcohol with whipping and amputations and the third and final stage will take effect in two years, and will use the death penalty for crimes like adultery, sodomy, or insulting the Koran or the Prophet Mohammed.
Funny how we decide which countries should be sanctioned and those that we just ignore while they stone homosexuals to death isn't it.
The implementation of Sharia law would mean that residents will face conviction by Islamic courts for their crimes with the first phase giving offenders large fines or jail time for pregnancy outside marriage, supporting other religions and failure to perform Friday prayers.
A second phase will go into effect in a years time include punishing those who steal or consume alcohol with whipping and amputations and the third and final stage will take effect in two years, and will use the death penalty for crimes like adultery, sodomy, or insulting the Koran or the Prophet Mohammed.
Funny how we decide which countries should be sanctioned and those that we just ignore while they stone homosexuals to death isn't it.
Hope You Lose Mourinho
European Cup Semi-Finals and one team from Madrid are already in the Final in Lisbon and it seems that everyone else in England who isn't a Chelsea is hoping the other Madrid team make it there also.
Since Arsenal went out to the Germans i lost interest in it to be fair and it isn't because i particularly dislike Chelsea that i want them to get bowled out tonight, it's just that i don't want to see John Terry or Ashley Cole celebrating.
First time around i like Jose Mourinho but he seems to have come back to England from his trip around Italy and Spain as a right misery guts with a constant moaning and grumpy face so i will be clacking castanets and saying 'Ole' tonight hoping that Atletico Madrid dump Chelsea out and then go on to win the thing and give Mourinho something proper to look glum about.
Since Arsenal went out to the Germans i lost interest in it to be fair and it isn't because i particularly dislike Chelsea that i want them to get bowled out tonight, it's just that i don't want to see John Terry or Ashley Cole celebrating.
First time around i like Jose Mourinho but he seems to have come back to England from his trip around Italy and Spain as a right misery guts with a constant moaning and grumpy face so i will be clacking castanets and saying 'Ole' tonight hoping that Atletico Madrid dump Chelsea out and then go on to win the thing and give Mourinho something proper to look glum about.
Is Israel An Apartheid State?
John Kerry may well have apologised for his Israeli 'apartheid' remarks after the rather predictable Israeli response which comes whenever anybody says anything unfavourable about them but it is not the first time someone has made the link between Israel in 2014 to the South Africa of the last century.
In 1973 the International Convention on the Suppression and Punishment of the Crime of Apartheid (ICSPCA) was adopted by the United Nations General Assembly and defined the crime of apartheid as 'inhuman acts committed for the purpose of establishing and maintaining domination by one group over another group and systematically oppressing them'.
So is Israeli an apartheid country oppressing and maintaining domination over the Palestinians?
In January 2004 Colin Powell beat John Kerry to labelling Israel as an apartheid state by saying about the West Bank barrier: 'I don't believe that we can accept a situation that results in anything that one might characterise as apartheid' and the then-President of the United Nations General Assembly, Miguel d'Escoto Brockmann, likened Israel's policies toward the Palestinians to South Africa's treatment of blacks under apartheid.
According to a 2004 U.S. State Department Country Reports on Human Rights Practises for Israel and the Occupied Territories, it reported that 'the Israeli government had done little to reduce institutional, legal, and societal discrimination against the country's Arab citizens' so John Kerry isn't the first American in a position to accuse Israel of being anything other than hostile to its non-Jewish citizens.
In a 2007 report, United Nations Special Rapporteur for Palestine John Dugard stated 'elements of the Israeli occupation constitute forms of colonialism and of apartheid' and the same year the UN Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination reported that Palestinians and Israeli settlers in the occupied territories are subject to different criminal laws, leading to longer detention and harsher punishments for Palestinians than for Israelis for the same offences.
Amnesty International also reported that in the West Bank, Israeli settlers and soldiers who engage in abuses against Palestinians, including unlawful killings, enjoy impunity from punishment and are rarely prosecuted. However Palestinians detained by Israeli security forces may be imprisoned for prolonged periods of time and face torture and other ill-treatment.
Henry Siegman, a former national director of the American Jewish Congress, has stated that the network of settlements in the West Bank has created an 'irreversible colonial project aimed to foreclose the possibility of a viable Palestinian state' and in accomplishing this Israel has 'crossed the threshold from the only
democracy in the Middle East to the only apartheid regime in the Western world'.
The Association for Civil Rights in Israel concluded in 2008 that a segregated road network in the West Bank, expansion of Jewish settlements, restriction of the growth of Palestinian towns and discriminatory granting of services, budgets and access to natural resources 'are in many ways reminiscent of the Apartheid regime in South Africa'.
In 2009 the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC) published a report stating, 'the State of Israel exercises control in the Occupied Palestinian Territories with the purpose of maintaining a system of domination by Jews over Palestinians and that this system constitutes a breach of the prohibition of apartheid'.
In 2010 United Nations Special Rapporteur for Palestine Richard A. Falk reported that criminal apartheid features of the Israeli occupation had been entrenched in the three years since the report of his predecessor and in March 2011, Falk said 'The continued pattern of settlement expansion in East Jerusalem combined with the forcible eviction of long-residing Palestinians is creating an intolerable situation and can only be described in its cumulative impact as a form of ethnic cleansing. Israeli policy in the West Bank clearly constitutes a form of apartheid with an effect on the Palestinian people much the same as apartheid had on the non-White population in South Africa'.
In January 2012, the Foreign Affairs Committee of the French parliament published a report describing Israel's water policies in the West Bank as 'a weapon serving the new apartheid' on their findings that Palestinians are not allowed to use the underground aquifers, and that Israel was deliberately destroying wells, reservoirs and water purification plants.
Jimmy Carter, former President of the United States, Camp David Accords negotiator and Nobel Peace Prize winner, wrote a book titled 'Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid' and stated that Israel's options included a 'system of apartheid, with two peoples occupying the same land but completely separated from each other, with Israelis totally dominant and suppressing violence by depriving Palestinians of their basic human rights. This is the policy now being followed, although many citizens of Israel deride the racist connotations of prescribing permanent second-class status for the Palestinians'.
When the UN, Human and Civil Right Groups, previous American Presidents and the current US secretary of state label you as an apartheid state, it doesn't matter how much you scream that you aren't because the weight of evidence shows that you most certainly are.
In 1973 the International Convention on the Suppression and Punishment of the Crime of Apartheid (ICSPCA) was adopted by the United Nations General Assembly and defined the crime of apartheid as 'inhuman acts committed for the purpose of establishing and maintaining domination by one group over another group and systematically oppressing them'.
So is Israeli an apartheid country oppressing and maintaining domination over the Palestinians?
In January 2004 Colin Powell beat John Kerry to labelling Israel as an apartheid state by saying about the West Bank barrier: 'I don't believe that we can accept a situation that results in anything that one might characterise as apartheid' and the then-President of the United Nations General Assembly, Miguel d'Escoto Brockmann, likened Israel's policies toward the Palestinians to South Africa's treatment of blacks under apartheid.
According to a 2004 U.S. State Department Country Reports on Human Rights Practises for Israel and the Occupied Territories, it reported that 'the Israeli government had done little to reduce institutional, legal, and societal discrimination against the country's Arab citizens' so John Kerry isn't the first American in a position to accuse Israel of being anything other than hostile to its non-Jewish citizens.
In a 2007 report, United Nations Special Rapporteur for Palestine John Dugard stated 'elements of the Israeli occupation constitute forms of colonialism and of apartheid' and the same year the UN Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination reported that Palestinians and Israeli settlers in the occupied territories are subject to different criminal laws, leading to longer detention and harsher punishments for Palestinians than for Israelis for the same offences.
Amnesty International also reported that in the West Bank, Israeli settlers and soldiers who engage in abuses against Palestinians, including unlawful killings, enjoy impunity from punishment and are rarely prosecuted. However Palestinians detained by Israeli security forces may be imprisoned for prolonged periods of time and face torture and other ill-treatment.
Henry Siegman, a former national director of the American Jewish Congress, has stated that the network of settlements in the West Bank has created an 'irreversible colonial project aimed to foreclose the possibility of a viable Palestinian state' and in accomplishing this Israel has 'crossed the threshold from the only
democracy in the Middle East to the only apartheid regime in the Western world'.
The Association for Civil Rights in Israel concluded in 2008 that a segregated road network in the West Bank, expansion of Jewish settlements, restriction of the growth of Palestinian towns and discriminatory granting of services, budgets and access to natural resources 'are in many ways reminiscent of the Apartheid regime in South Africa'.
In 2009 the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC) published a report stating, 'the State of Israel exercises control in the Occupied Palestinian Territories with the purpose of maintaining a system of domination by Jews over Palestinians and that this system constitutes a breach of the prohibition of apartheid'.
In 2010 United Nations Special Rapporteur for Palestine Richard A. Falk reported that criminal apartheid features of the Israeli occupation had been entrenched in the three years since the report of his predecessor and in March 2011, Falk said 'The continued pattern of settlement expansion in East Jerusalem combined with the forcible eviction of long-residing Palestinians is creating an intolerable situation and can only be described in its cumulative impact as a form of ethnic cleansing. Israeli policy in the West Bank clearly constitutes a form of apartheid with an effect on the Palestinian people much the same as apartheid had on the non-White population in South Africa'.
In January 2012, the Foreign Affairs Committee of the French parliament published a report describing Israel's water policies in the West Bank as 'a weapon serving the new apartheid' on their findings that Palestinians are not allowed to use the underground aquifers, and that Israel was deliberately destroying wells, reservoirs and water purification plants.
Jimmy Carter, former President of the United States, Camp David Accords negotiator and Nobel Peace Prize winner, wrote a book titled 'Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid' and stated that Israel's options included a 'system of apartheid, with two peoples occupying the same land but completely separated from each other, with Israelis totally dominant and suppressing violence by depriving Palestinians of their basic human rights. This is the policy now being followed, although many citizens of Israel deride the racist connotations of prescribing permanent second-class status for the Palestinians'.
When the UN, Human and Civil Right Groups, previous American Presidents and the current US secretary of state label you as an apartheid state, it doesn't matter how much you scream that you aren't because the weight of evidence shows that you most certainly are.
Saturday, 26 April 2014
A Crap App
You know how it is when you spend ages looking through the appstore looking for a certain app and you just can't find the one you need.
Luckily, something you can now do is take a picture of your poop and share it with other users thanks to Pooplog which, as the app author explains, is 'a free application that allows you to track your bowel movements using the Bristol Stool Scale on your Android powered device'.
Brilliant, and the Bristol Stool Scale to boot, just what i wanted but how does Pooplog work i hear you ask.
'Once you record the type of bowel movement, volume, and time, PoopLog allows you to attach a note, attach a photo, and even allows you to share any part of your entry with other installed applications such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, SMS, Email, etc.'.
The next update will include support for more logging options such as colour, blood, mucus, etc., charts, and trends but it is only currently available to users running Android OS 1.6 or higher.
As a Blackberry owner, that's me out then. Back to using the laminated Bristol Stool Scale chart i guess.
Luckily, something you can now do is take a picture of your poop and share it with other users thanks to Pooplog which, as the app author explains, is 'a free application that allows you to track your bowel movements using the Bristol Stool Scale on your Android powered device'.
Brilliant, and the Bristol Stool Scale to boot, just what i wanted but how does Pooplog work i hear you ask.
'Once you record the type of bowel movement, volume, and time, PoopLog allows you to attach a note, attach a photo, and even allows you to share any part of your entry with other installed applications such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, SMS, Email, etc.'.
The next update will include support for more logging options such as colour, blood, mucus, etc., charts, and trends but it is only currently available to users running Android OS 1.6 or higher.
As a Blackberry owner, that's me out then. Back to using the laminated Bristol Stool Scale chart i guess.
Morrissey Takes On Daft Canadian
The singer called the annual slaughter 'greedy', 'dismaying', 'ignorant' and 'barbaric' and said that Canada has a sorry image due to its seal slaughter before finishing with 'only those of the thinnest intellect wear animal fur'.
Sadly, those with the thinnest intelligence also work in the Canadian Fisheries Department because the Fisheries Minister, Gail Shea, has hit back with a rant that Morrissey is 'looking for a popularity boost from attacking the livelihoods of people who live off the bounty of the land instead of living off record sales or TV ratings' and justified the hundreds of thousands of seals because there are over 7.4 million of them.
Morrissey then replied that 'simply because someone bears the badge of Minister does not insulate them from being a disreputable thug' and urged Canadians to 'speak up and stop this carnage in order to restore the global image of their country'.
Undeterred that she is never going to win the argument, Shea replied that the outlawing the seal fur industry would cost thousands of jobs to which Morrissey tripped the Godwins alarm by firing back that 'building and maintaining the Concentration Camps of Auschwitz also provided livelihoods, but this hardly made the Camps warranted'.
The EU and Russian ban on seal fur has reportedly shot a massive hole in the profits from seal pelts and the Canadian Fisheries justification for compelling a painful death on seal cubs is because there are a lot of them so i know who i am backing in this argument, and it isn't the Canadian with the Ministers badge and thin intelligence.
UKIP, Comedy Gold
Once upon a time i was concerned about how much airtime Nigel Farage and his UKIP party were getting but now i realise that they are being shoved front and centre because when they get the spotlight, they just damage themselves.
Farage on Have I Got News For You got ripped apart and just sat their laughing through the whole thing while Merton and Hislop laid into him and reporters and journalists pull his argument apart with little effort because they are comedy gold.
The 'big' advertising campaign has been suspended after the guy in the first poster sent a series of racist comments on Twitter. The builder in another UKIP poster accusing EU workers of taking UK jobs was discovered to be an Irish actor who migrated to this country, and a woman who appeared on the third posing as a voter from Devon turned out to be UKIP's events manager and an assistant to the party leader.
After making much of British jobs for British workers, Farage's secretary is German and local election candidate, William Henwood, has said that comedian Lenny Henry should emigrate to a 'black country' while another has called Islam 'organised crime under religious camouflage" while likening the religion to Nazism, and suggesting that the murder of the black teenager Stephen Lawrence has received a disproportionate level of attention.
UKIP said the party was 'non-racist, non-sectarian and any comments made by members that fail to uphold these values will be duly investigated and acted upon'.
My greatest concern now is that after the racists and bigots are acted upon and removed, the party won't have anyone left to make an idiot of themselves on television anymore.
Keep putting them on TV i say, the Comedy Channel.
Farage on Have I Got News For You got ripped apart and just sat their laughing through the whole thing while Merton and Hislop laid into him and reporters and journalists pull his argument apart with little effort because they are comedy gold.
The 'big' advertising campaign has been suspended after the guy in the first poster sent a series of racist comments on Twitter. The builder in another UKIP poster accusing EU workers of taking UK jobs was discovered to be an Irish actor who migrated to this country, and a woman who appeared on the third posing as a voter from Devon turned out to be UKIP's events manager and an assistant to the party leader.
After making much of British jobs for British workers, Farage's secretary is German and local election candidate, William Henwood, has said that comedian Lenny Henry should emigrate to a 'black country' while another has called Islam 'organised crime under religious camouflage" while likening the religion to Nazism, and suggesting that the murder of the black teenager Stephen Lawrence has received a disproportionate level of attention.
UKIP said the party was 'non-racist, non-sectarian and any comments made by members that fail to uphold these values will be duly investigated and acted upon'.
My greatest concern now is that after the racists and bigots are acted upon and removed, the party won't have anyone left to make an idiot of themselves on television anymore.
Keep putting them on TV i say, the Comedy Channel.
Primark Does America
If you are after cheap and cheerful clothes and you are not too concerned about how or why Primark can offer such cheap clothes, Primark is perfect.
If you find yourself wondering how can Primark offer such cheap clothes, then you may want to go elsewhere because Primark is one of the leaders in making sure there are plenty of well stocked sweat shops in Asia.
A recent BBC investigation revealed that children as young as 9 were working in squalid conditions, sewing tiny beads and sequins onto cheap t-shirts by candle-light and being paid 60p per day. Almost a year to the day 1400 workers died at an unsafe Bangladesh factory making Primark garments leading to Primark paying compensation to the families of their workers who were killed and injured in the accident when the building collapsed.
There have been protests outside British Primark stores which increased when a survey carried out by Populus saw Primark voted Britain’s least ethical clothing retailer.
Primark have announced that they no longer use sweat shop labour but when you are paying for that $2 t-shirt or $13 pair of jeans, you might want to consider if Primark can sell them so cheap and still make a profit (£1.1bn last year), how little must they be paying for the labour that goes into making them in the first place.
The low-cost clothes in Primark can come at a dangerously high price for some.
Friday, 25 April 2014
America Looking For A Fight
North Korea face the threat of sanctions with 'more bite', China has been told not to escalate territorial tensions in the Asia-Pacific region and Russia have been told that they face additional sanctions.
That's American issued threats to China, Russia and North Korea in the space of 48 hours, and we all thought George W Bush was the nutter, Obama and Lurch are going out of their way to pick an argument with countries that could do more than give America, and the rest of us, a black eye.
Luckily our own Prime Minister is not standing 'shoulder to shoulder' with this current administration and while John Kerry and his amazingly frozen face turn up in various hotspots acting like an embarrassing dad, China, Russia and North Korea cheerfully ignore him.
Seems they couldn't get their war in Syria or Iran but they will start one with someone at some point even if it kills them, or more likely, a million other people.
Who would have thought that back in 2008 when George W Bush shuffled off the World stage, the people that replaced him would be even more of a danger to World Peace.
Roll on 2017 when Obama and Lurch can't kill us all.
That's American issued threats to China, Russia and North Korea in the space of 48 hours, and we all thought George W Bush was the nutter, Obama and Lurch are going out of their way to pick an argument with countries that could do more than give America, and the rest of us, a black eye.
Luckily our own Prime Minister is not standing 'shoulder to shoulder' with this current administration and while John Kerry and his amazingly frozen face turn up in various hotspots acting like an embarrassing dad, China, Russia and North Korea cheerfully ignore him.
Seems they couldn't get their war in Syria or Iran but they will start one with someone at some point even if it kills them, or more likely, a million other people.
Who would have thought that back in 2008 when George W Bush shuffled off the World stage, the people that replaced him would be even more of a danger to World Peace.
Roll on 2017 when Obama and Lurch can't kill us all.
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