I came into this world with the punch of a protest and the grace of a catwalk but, alas, not the wardrobe to match. Growing up, I quickly learned that life’s greatest thrill is not in the what but the how. How do you make a stand when society’s handing out parking tickets for existing? Why, with a wink, a wig, and a willingness to laugh in the face of absurdity, of course.
My early years were a masterclass in self-deprecation. I once tried to pass as a man by borrowing my brother’s socks, and let’s just say, fashion was not my strong suit. But here’s the kicker: even when life handed me lemons I squeezed them into something tangy and extraordinary. That, my darlings, is the heart of the trans rights fight, turning lemons into lemonade, then into a bloody big posh wedding cake.
When i came out as Trans in my teens, my parents enrolled me in for psychiatric treatment and took me to church because this was the 1950's and being anything other than white and male was the work of the devil.
The art of turning I told you I’m a woman into a rallying cry loud enough to shake the foundations of power means if you’re not being misgendered at least three times a day, you’re not living your truth.
I was expelled from college for wearing feminine clothes and my parents refused to let me live with them but one of my proudest moments was founding the Transgender Gender Variant Intersex Justice Project and we were a band of misfits and marvels, fighting for dignity with the tenacity of a terrier with a bone and twice the drool. It’s not all glitter and glamour, but hey, where’s the fun in that?
Whether it was demanding equal rights or perfecting my eyeliner I always went full drama queen. And really, what’s life without a bit of drama?
There was the time I got arrested while protesting outside City Hall but underneath the bling and bravado is the simple truth that we’re fighting for the right to live authentically. To walk down the street without fear, to love who we want, and to finally stop explaining our existence to bemused strangers.
I lived a grand life and when the curtain fell, sepsis and a blood clot, I'd like to think that I carved a space where future trans folks won’t have to fight quite so hard.
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