Thursday 23 May 2024

Drowning Street

Surely everyone knows that if you get a drip wet, you just get an even bigger drip which is why Rishi Sunak walked to the lectern to announce the General Election 5' 1" and walked back 15 minutes later 6' 2", surely the Conservatives haven't ruined the economy enough to not to be able to afford an umbrella.
I assume it was decided that to have him standing there with him holding an umbrella would somehow make him look weak so he strode out and to hell with the elements, he was going to show the British people just how tough he was which brought to mind the ninth US President, William Henry Harrison.
By the time Old Billy H got to the top job in the White House he was 68 and the general consensus was that he was too old an frail to serve in office so to prove just how fit he was he arrived on horseback rather than a closed carriage and didn't wear an overcoat or a hat and to ram the point home, he delivered the longest inaugural address in American history and 2 hours later he was standing in the cold, damp rain and could feel a bit of a sniffle coming on.
The sniffle turned into a cold which grew progressively worse over the next two days and ended up as pneumonia and even doctors attaching leeches to him didn't improve his condition and he died 31 days later making him the shortest serving American President.
I hope Rishi is feeling peachy today and he hasn't been supping on the Lemsip's since but rather than enhance his image, it just gave the newspapers the chance to mention him being Drown and Out and how things can only get wetter.