Saturday, 30 June 2018

90 Days Of Summer: Day 30

We are now officially on the thirtieth day of meteorological summer and with two thirds still to go i've already outstayed my welcome in the local supermarkets freezer aisle, the security guards have been eyeing me suspiciously as i have been spending far too much time standing with the doors open in the dairy section.
That the thermometer has been hovering around 30C for almost a fortnight now is too much to bear as is the weatherman describing the wall to wall blue skies, blazing sunshine and high temperatures as glorious and beautiful when all i want is a massive thunderstorm to wash it all away and be able to turn my cars steering wheel without getting third degree burns whenever i go around a corner.
Finally it seems my fist waving and cursing at Mother Nature may come to fruition because of the three weather apps on my phone, two are saying the UK's south coast is in for torrential rain, hail and lightning tomorrow.
The Met Office have issued a warning saying that heavy rain could lead to flooded homes and businesses and difficult driving conditions but no mention of a woman running around in the downpour cackling maniacally and belly-flopping into puddles which i guarantee will also happen tomorrow.

Not Crying For Argentina Or Portugal

Unless you are Portuguese or Argentinian, or you have them in the office sweepstake, nobody will be too upset to see the pair of them dumped out of the World Cup at the first knockout stage.
Messi and Ronaldo will be sat at home on the sofa watching the remaining games like the rest of us only probably with less chocolate and bottles of Theakston Old Peculiar.
The World Cup so far has been brilliant, mainly because the big boys haven't been steamrolling everyone as they usually do so Germany, Argentinia and Portugal have been dinked out before the Quarter Final stage which can only be good for the competition as some of the more unfancied teams will progress to the later stages.
Maybe i was a bit hasty asking for my £2 back when i pulled out Uruguay in our works sweepstake which made it doubly sweet that Ronaldo and his team have been turfed out by them.
My £64 winnings though could be in danger as the French are next up for Uruguay and Les Bleus looked good today, despite having quite a few Chelsea players handicapping their side.     
England play Colombia on Tuesday and their main striker, James Rodriguez, is a serious doubt after being subbed with an injury in their last game which only makes us England fans even more convinced that the fates have already decided where the Trophy is heading which means that this time around us English fans won't have the problem of who to cheer for once we are put out and the TV screen is covered in Theakston's finest barley and hops.

Who Is Scamming The Football Fans

Football fans are being warned about the risk of spending money on fake kits as fraudsters seek to take advantage of World Cup fever.
The Governments health and safety officers have said that they are working extremely hard to try to prevent scams and that 'Scammers are cunning and opportunistic' and 'callously trying to exploit people's enthusiasm for all things football'.
As football fans pay a 1,000 per cent mark up on replica England shirts which sells at an average £49.45 but costs less than £5 to produce, i would say the scammers are also the people who sell the real kits who are also exploiting people's enthusiasm for all things football.

Wednesday, 27 June 2018

For You, Fritz, Ze World Cup Is Over

I once made a joke here that us British have a word for taking pleasure at another persons misfortune, schadenfreude, and how Germany must wish they had such a word in their language but i got angry comments from German speaking members of the pedantic society who wouldn't know a joke if it sat on them so i won't make that mistake again especially as the Germans will not be in the best mood considering their team has just got dinked out of the World Cup.
Yep, the Winners of the last Football Fiesta are packing up their lederhosen and should be back in Berlin in time for Schnitzel and chips for supper.
As i said before, the Footballing Gods seemed to have decreed that it will be England who toddle away with the World Cup Trophy this time around, an easy qualifying group, an equally straight forward first round group stage and now with Germany out, the team we were penciled in to meet at the Quarter Final stage, it makes England’s path to glory even more inevitable. 
As there is a chance Brazil will park their carnival float in our path before the Final, all we need is for them to be knocked out by Serbia tonight and we won't have to face Neymar falling over theatrically everytime someone breathes near him.
For 90 minutes tonight, every English man, woman and child will be a honorary Serbian and looking up the Serbian for 'JUST HACK THE FECKING THING CLEAR!!'

Tuesday, 26 June 2018

Boris And Donny Sitting In A Tree...

Boris 'Piccaninnies' Johnson assure us, with one eye on transatlantic trade deals in the dystopian post-EU wasteland he has engineered, that we must respect the office of the president of the United States and increasingly admires the orange sex-pest in Office over there.
Boris 'Watermelon Smiles' himself described the current president, in 2015, as 'unfit to lead the United States', 'clearly out of his mind', and 'stupefyingly ignorant' in a U-turns any L-Plate driver would be proud of.
That Boris would appreciate the efforts of someone who admitted sexually molesting women, banned Muslims and supported Nazis is no surprise, his record of racism and sexual predator instincts are less than spotless.
The two can have a great chat when the Orange Moron lands in the UK in July although he is being steered away from London and is to be confined to Scotland where less people can join Boris Johnson is showing just how much they also appreciate the tiny penised handed racist.

Enjoy The CO2 Free Days Pigs

Ironic really that we have too much CO2 above our heads but not enough down on the ground to keep the drinks flowing as beer and cider rationing comes into effect due to a shortage of CO2 used in carbonated drinks.
Heineken and Coca-Cola face disruption but in a great bit of news abattoir are scaling back on murdering animals because they are running out of CO2 used to stun the animals before slaughter.
Andy McGowan, owner of the Brechin abattoir said he did not know when they would get a fresh CO2 delivery from their supplier and delivered the brilliant line: 'The top priority is animal welfare - we will not have ourselves in a situation where the welfare is suffering' which would be concern for the animals he is just about to smash a bolt through it's brain before chopping it up.
If it means less animals killed then i am more than willing to miss out on a few bottles of beer so enjoy the few extra days of sunshine piggies before the big bad men get their CO2 back.

Sunday, 24 June 2018

Why Does My Chicken Smell Funny?

For the second time in a week, one of President Trump's employee's has been asked to leave an eating establishment with the orange moron's press secretary, Sarah Sanders, being asked to leave the Red Hen Restaurant in Virginia after being told by the owner that: 'the restaurant has certain standards that I feel it has to uphold, such as honesty, and compassion, and co-operation' and then told her to sling her hook.
Sanders later bleated that the owner actions: 'say far more about her than about me' but if i was her i would have been happy to leave once she was recognised as the action's of the chef and waiters may not have been quite so polite.
If the stench of urine coming from their food when it arrived hadn't given them the idea that they had been recognised then the contents of several waiters noses in the gravy may have done so i say Sanders got away lightly, it's when they get noticed and the food still arrives that they want to be cautious.

Keep Calm And Carry On England

One thing us English are renown for is not getting carried away so after 8 goals in 2 games in the World Cup and qualifying for the next round with a game to spare it is a shame we are so reserved because we are absolutely, no doubt about it going to win the World Cup.
Although FIFA may as well cancel the rest of the competition and give us the trophy now we will just carry on and play the rest of the games and go through the motions because we don't want to be accused of messing up everyone else's TV schedules and imagine the hassle of having to refund everyone for the tickets already sold.
So let's keep our head out the clouds and our feet on the ground or at least until July 15th anyway when football will not only come home but will be bringing the World Cup trophy with it which will be a nice bonus for the football shirt makers who will have to now add a second star above the national badge.
Also, as Harry Kane is the captain, Tottenham fans will have the extraordinarily rare sight of a Tottenham player celebrating actually winning something so everybody wins but mostly us and definitely not the Brazilians, Germans, Spanish etc etc.

Disclaimer: As this post was written under the heavy influence of alcohol and too much sun the author claims the right to delete and deny writing it once England get knocked out by the first halfway decent team they meet.

Friday, 22 June 2018

Refugee Crisis 2018 Style

I'm sure when i was younger i remember appeals for refugees where they would ask for money to buy tents and blankets for people fleeing war zones and we would be shown miles and miles of poor buggers in tents with a couple of water taps and not a cage full of children in sight.
The life of a refugee in 2018, especially the ones fleeing warzones and poverty in an attempt to leave behind the problems caused by the richer nations of the world dropping bombs on their nations, is not a happy one.
Considering 'Made In The West' is stamped all over the slave camps in Libya and the bombs falling on Iraq, Yemen and Syria, us Europeans are decidedly reluctant to help the poor and downtrodden when they reach our borders.
America is rightly being pilloried for their inhumane treatment of refugees but just this week a boatload of them was turned away from Italy so we may not break up the families but seem perfectly fine with keeping families together and letting them take the gamble of not drowning in the Mediterranean.
The answer to any refugee crisis it seems is to not flee but stay where you are and either our humanitarian missiles or those of our allies will be along to blow up the bad guys real soon and given a fair wind and a bit of luck, we will try our best not to kill too many of you, we promise.

Melania's Coat

Donald Trump has never been big on immigrants apart from the ones he married and his latest foreign wife was always considered the less toss-potterish of the Trump clan but then she went and proved that indeed she really is a Trump by wearing a coat with the words 'I really don't care, do u?' while visiting children locked up in cages by her husband like the child-catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Of course it could just be it literally is just a coat she decided to wear that day as is the view put out by Mrs Trump's spokeswoman but that contradicts the orange one's own tweet that explained it: 'refers to the Fake News Media', probably in reference to his affair with a porn star while she was recovering at home from giving birth.
Maybe she was putting out the message that she really doesn't care that her husband is a scumbag but maybe it was a message to her husband and not caring for his policies which include incarcerating kids but by far the most popular view is that she was belittling people's concerns about what her awful husband has been doing in his quest to Make America A Laughing Stock Great Again.

Just Say No

For some reason there seems to be a call for legalising cannabis and the justification is that alcohol and cigarettes are legal so let's do something for the weed smokers and legalise the drug's recreational use.
I guess the argument makes sense if you are a regular user of cannabis but to anyone without the muddled mind of a stoner it is like saying there are two ways to cause immense damage to yourself, so we may as well introduce a third.
My thinking is if alcohol and cigarettes were only just discovered and people were trying to introduce them today, would we be saying despite knowing the immense social and individual harm they cause,  the Government should give their consent to them being consumed?
Any answer other than 'What The Feck, of course not' then you have been tugging a bit too long on the funny fags and i use you as evidence to support my case that taking the side of the argument made by people not firing on all their brain cells is not a good idea.
Next week, why we should drink more milk by the Milk Marketing Board.

Boycotting American Goods Once I Find Any

As the Trade War between the USA and pretty much everyone else kicks into gear, i have decided to do my part and boycott buying all things American, problem is after a thorough search, nothing seems to have Made in USA stamped on it.
In response to Trump's tariffs on European steel and aluminium, the EU has imposed tariffs on imports of US cranberries, orange juice, sweetcorn, peanut butter, bourbon whiskey, cigarettes, cigars, cheroots, cosmetics, motorbikes, boats, jeans, leather footwear, swimwear, underwear and steel products.
As none of the above in my home are American, i guess i have unwittingly done my bit by not buying them anyway but i will make sure my next motorbike is not a Harley Davidson or my next packet of cigarettes Lucky Strikes especially as they will be 20% more expensive than good old European ones.
As American industries are going to have problems selling the few things they make in the EU, Russia, China, Japan, India, Mexico, Canada and Turkey, i can't see how easy to win this trade war is going to be for America and economists Trade Partnerships Worldwide are saying the S&P 500 index of U.S. stocks has fallen around 4% or $1.2 trillion already, but at least 450,000 jobs could go as well.
I'm sure there are some things made in America i can boycott but for now i will just carry on not buying things made in America until i can find something made in America i can purposely not buy.

Thursday, 21 June 2018

How Soon To Celebrate Third Reich At World Cup?

Watching the supporters at the World Cup, the question must be asked just how long is a decent length of time before murderous regimes become acceptable?
I can't see any German fans turning up in full SS regalia but the Third Reich was only 80 years old so far too soon but so far i have seen England fans dressed up as Crusading Knights and Scandinavians dressed as Vikings.
That the brutal Crusades which killed millions in the name of Christianity were 12th Century and the Viking raping, killing and pillaging invasions were in the 11th Century, obviously you need to give it at least 800 years before the murderous savages become cuddly figures to celebrate.
By the World Cup in 2818 we can enjoy the sight of Germany supporters in full Hitler costume complete with funny mustache and seig heiling their way to yet another victory.

Looking For The Other Irsael

I have been poring over an Atlas to find the other Israel, the one that the Americans say have been unfairly criticised at the United Nations and the reason why they are pulling out of the UN Human Right Council.
That Trump is berating anyone on Human Rights while caging children is laughable but i'm perplexed by exactly where this Israel is that is being picked on by the United Nations.
It obviously can't be the Benjamin Netanyahu run Israel because last time i looked they had just killed 110 unarmed Palestinians and injured a further 14,000 for protesting against the 70 year military occupation and monstrous border wall deemed illegal by the international court of justice.
That since they forcibly took over Palestine they have invading at will and built apartments on occupied land in defiance of United Nation Resolutions and have broken another 65 UN resolutions and have a secret nuclear weapon program and up to 400 nuclear warheads so it can't be that Israel that America are standing up for.
That particular Israel has scuppered peace talks at every turn, hold over 9,000 Palestinians in its prisons, destroy farms, bulldoze homes and businesses, use Palestinian children as human shields and have been accussed of war crimes on numerous occasions so there HAS to be another Israel because nobody would want to be seen backing this Israel and accussing anyone of bias, especially
not a nation run by a racist sex-pest with a iffy record themselves including starting illegal wars, backing terrorists and dropping nuclear bombs.
I will have to keep looking through the Atlas i guess.

Tuesday, 19 June 2018

Revisiting The PIIGS Nations

When the Global economy had it's latest of a long line of hiccups in 2008, the PIIGS nations were targeted at the countries that would be hit the hardest and so after a decade of turmoil and austerity, how are the PIIGS doing?

P is for Portugal who had a debt of 71% of GDP and after going down the punishing austerity route and a loan of €79.0 billion from the International Monetary Fund (IMF), and after a decade the debt stands at 126% of GDP so not a resounding success.

I is for Italy who have recently seen their government collapse amidst a stagnant economy that in 2008 had a debt of 120% of GDP and a decade on the debt has increased to 139% of GDP and rumours persist that Italy will leave the Euro to try and get a grip on a basketcase of an economy.
I is also for Ireland who were on the verge on bankruptcy in 2010 until a €67.5bn loan from the European Central Bank and IMF bought them some time and despite dramatic austerity measures the debt of 42% of GDP in 2008 is now 68% today.

G is for Greece who made all the headlines with a debt at 109% of GDP in 2008 and despite eyewatering austerity which led to riots, strikes and the collapse of the government who have borrowed €230bn so far to stay afloat and are expected to return to the IMF and European Central Bank to ask for more, the debt per GDP today is a staggering 180%.

S is for Spain who saw the collapse of its banking system and a €100bn loan from Brussels amidst internal turmoil with some regions attempting to break away as it juggled a debt of 102% of GDP. The only one of the PIIGS who have seen their debt decrease, although at 99% of GDP today it is nothing to get excited about.

In all, the five nations who where most hardest hit by the 2008 economic crisis are still in a whole lot of bother despite loans of almost €500 billion between them and a decade of cost cutting, austerity, collapsing governments and general misery for their citizens.

Whatever they are doing isn't working very well but they will continue to do it anyway.

Monday, 18 June 2018

Bible Say's Caging Kids Is Okay: Romans 13

I don't really know much about the American Government's decision to separate children from parents who are accused of illegally crossing over the American border but seeing who is heading the Government, it's obviously awful.
Even Trumps wife, Melania, has spoken out against it as reports emerge of children being held in cages at a warehouse in Texas after being separated from their parents. One cage had 20 children inside.
The chorus of criticism has been quickly rising and even the UN human rights chief, Zeid Ra’ad Al Hussein, called the policy 'unconscionable' as the Government put the number of separations at 2,000 since April when the US attorney general, Jeff Sessions, announced a new 'zero-tolerance policy' to prosecute every migrant who crosses the border illegally.
Reporters who have toured the facilities where families are separated by border patrol officers describe hundreds of children wrenched away from their parents and waiting in cages with concrete floors and foil blankets.
Jeff Sessions has defended the administration’s policy by reaching for the Bible and quoted the same passage that was also used to justify slavery which you would have thought would tip him off that he was on rocky ground.
'I would cite you to the Apostle Paul and his clear and wise command in Romans 13, to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained them for the purpose of order' Sessions said, 'Orderly and lawful processes are good in themselves and protect the weak and lawful'.
Later, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders summed up the same idea: 'It is very biblical to enforce the law'.
So tearing families apart and putting kids in a cage is perfectly justified in the Trump administration as it was in 1850 when Congress passed the Fugitive Slave Act which allowed escaped slaves to be forcibly returned to their owners.
While nothing the idiot Trump does should surprise us, the image of kids being dragged away from their parents and held in cages and using the Bible to justify it should be a lurch towards authoritarianism that anyone with a moral compass should be up in arms about.
That said, the American right-wing religious nuts who support Trump are not known for their ability to judge what is right and wrong, the amazingly awful gun laws they uphold are a case in point of that so why would they care about the uncivilised, inhumane and cruel way the children of immigrants entering and living in the USA are being treated.

Implications Of The Rise Of The Sexbots

The growth of AI and robotics is scary but for some it's not growing fast enough but not because they welcome the advantages robots can bring to humans but because they want to have sex with them.
There are currently four companies today sell adult, female sexbots, and they explain that they can help people have safe sex and lessening exploitation and sex trafficking, decreasing instances of predatory behaviour and curb the spread of Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
A British study probing an increased use of sexbots is not so sure the future is quite so rosy though and think things will be considerably worse as it will reinforce the idea that women are sex objects and should be constantly available for the pleasures of men. Researchers say such an outlook could lead to the further victimisation of women and children and increase instances of malicious sexual behaviour.
They evaluated the arguments for and against the sex robot industry and assessed: 'While a human may genuinely desire a sexbot, reciprocation can only be artificially mimicked and instead of lessening loneliness, these robots might make us crave human contact more'.
They conclude that eventually, those who use sex robots could find it difficult to navigate a romantic relationship with an actual human being.
Researchers also found absolutely no evidence that interaction with a sexbot would make children safer or decrease sex trafficking and it might, instead, normalise such acts to the predator themselves and therefore make such heinous incidents more common.
If the rise of the robots isn't scary enough, the creepy men most likely to use them for sex are about to get a whole lot worse.

NHS Was Never Safe In Tory Hands

'The NHS is safe in our hands' so said David Cameron when he became Prime Minister in 2010 but the NHS has been anything but safe as one of their first actions was to slash the annual budget increase from 4% to 1%.
Since 2010, the budget has gone up by 8% while historically it should have gone up by 32% which means they are actually 24% down on the deal or in cold hard cash, with an annual budget of £100 billion, its got £1 billion a year instead of the required £4 billion so since 2010 it should have got £32 billion but it has only received £8 billion.
Surprise surprise the NHS is struggling but the Government have rode in to help and are handing over £20 billion which is still £4 billion less than the NHS needs to keep it's head above water. 
The Government have said that tax rises will be needed to pay for the boost in NHS funding and nobody will begrudge 1p on Income Tax or National Insurance but what about when the other essential services such as Police or Education come knocking, they could make an excellent case for an extra 1p of tax for them also.
The taxation system is badly in need of an overhaul but regardless of the tax intake, the way it is divided out is down to the ruling Government and if they want to underfund the NHS, police or schools for their own ideological reasons, that will continue regardless.

Football Finally Coming Home?

For England fans this is the best bit of any tournament, there is still hope in hearts and a chorus of 'Football's Coming Home' in our lungs as we have yet to be disheartened by the sight of the opposition striker wheeling away in celebration as our goalkeeper lays on the floor with the ball nestling in the net behind him.
Or rather, that's how it used to be because this World Cup things are going to be different and yes i know that we say that every World Cup but the fates are conspiring with us this time.
A relatively straight forward group stage and last 16 match up with the hiccup coming in the formidable shape of either Brazil or Germany in the Quarter Finals but after that Super Sunday which saw Brazil draw with Switzerland and Germany beaten by Mexico, our path may have been cleared of the two best teams in the competition giving us an easier ride.
England face Tunisia at 7pm tonight, the first match in what could be the first step to Football actually coming home.
In the real world though we all know England are not serious contenders to win it and we all suspect they’ll draw with Tunisia, beat Panama and lose to Belgium before scraping through to get beaten in the second round by a bunch of South Americans but as of the moment, five hours before our first game, we believe that come Sunday 15th July, it will be the hand of an Englishman holding aloft the trophy and after half a century of going elsewhere, Football is finally coming home.

Saturday, 16 June 2018

VAR Not Good For Football

I wasn't a fan of Goal Line Technology (GLT) when it came in and i am certainly not a fan of the Video Assistant Referee (VAR) either, i'm all for leaving it down to the referee and linesman to decide whether the ball crossed the line or the striker was fouled or dived.
My teams have been on the end of so many dubious decisions for and against them and the debates about it afterwards are part of the game and i like that and as we are finding out, even with VAR the decisions are just as debatable only we have to stop the game to discover it or as happened today, stop the game minutes after the incident.
Now, we have to wait for the pantomime of the review process to be played out and there were a couple of wrong calls today despite VAR.
As it seems VAR is going to become part of the game, it needs to be tweaked so either the referee can request it if he is unsure or his line of sight was blocked or give each manager two challenges per match because as it stands, with each big decision being reviewed as par for the course, the matches are going to be disrupted far too much and change the game we love, dodgy refereeing decisions and all.

Philip Fisher: Body Shamer

For someone who is supposed to be reviewing an actresses acting skills, the British Theatre Guide's Philip Fisher does seem to have a liking for reviewing their body shapes also, twice criticising Nicola Coughlan who is currently starring in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie as 'an overweight little girl' and previously calling her 'a fat girl'.
Coughlan replied to the review by tweeting: 'My weight has no relevance to either the performance I gave in that or in The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie' which is true as the lack of hair doesn't stop Mr Fisher from being a bullying, body shaming numbskull.
In his pinstripe suit, dreadful tie and the smug smile you would be forgiven for thinking that Mr Fisher is an accountant but when he isn't fat-shaming actresses, he IS an accountant and hands out tax advice on AccountingWEB where his columns include the riveting reads 'The accountant’s guide to traditional marketing' and the unmissable 'Taxation of self-funded work-related training' which he describes as: 'One of the most exciting tax-related announcements to emerge from Philip Hammond’s inaugural Spring Statement'.
As Nicola is being berated by someone who finds the taxation of work related training exciting i think it is safe to say the nerdy looking, body-shaming Fisher can be ignored as someone who can only wish he had an ounce of the acting talent Nicola has to be on the boards rather than shamefully sniping from the sidelines.      
Coughlan has since quite rightly banned Mr Fisher from reviewing any show that she is in and asked if she could 'cruelly review' his body and post it online but he has not yet replied although i doubt if he would be so keen to have his own puny physique mauled as he is to review women's bodies.
The British Theatre Guide has apologised to Coughlan, saying: 'While the reviewer may not have intended to offend, he accepts that it is not acceptable to use such descriptions in a review and not BTG policy' which leads us to question if neither Fisher or the BTG think that calling someone 'a fat girl' and 'overweight' is intended to offend, then what do they consider IS offensive?

Insulting Footballers

Russian MPs have prepared a bill introducing fines for public statements insulting the players or coach of the Russian national football team, saying that moral climate was an important condition for sports victories.
The bill has been prepared by a group of lawmakers, headed by MP Vitaly Milonov who explained that: 'They represent our state and the scoundrels who insult them insult the whole nation. We will fine them 10 thousand rubles, in this case they will not have enough money left to buy beer and crisps'.
We can only hope that the English Government doesn't being in anything similar because going by recent World Cup performances, insulting our nations footballers is all we have and if Phil Jones ever gets near the action the nations football fans are going to be financially ruined.      
England start their campaign on Monday against Tunisia and hopes are high as they usually are before the tournament starts, then the doubts start to creep in once they actually start playing.

Thursday, 14 June 2018

US And UK Economy Grows The More Yemini's Killed

You don't hear much about the ongoing war in Yemen which is how the West would prefer it considering that we are directly complicit in the carnage being inflicted there.
After three years of conflict, it has been estimated by Amnesty International that out of a population of 27.4 million, 22.2 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance, 17 million are food insecure, 14.8 million lack basic health care, 4.5 million children are suffering malnourishment, while 2.9 million people are internally displaced and the latest death toll is 10,000 with 50,000 injured.
Now the Saudi's have unleashed a massive air, land and sea offensive against the city of Hodeidah, one of the last remaining points of entry of essential humanitarian aid into the beleaguered country.
Amnesty International have condemned the action as: 'Hodeidah's port is crucial to a country that is 80% dependent on imports to meet basic necessities. Cutting off this crucial supply line would further exacerbate what is already the World's worst humanitarian crisis'.
Yemen is being crushed between a proxy war between Iran and Saudi Arabia who have the backing of those hot-spots for international peace, the US and UK who have been busy replenishing the Saudi weaponry, US arms sales to the Kingdom consisting of over 50% of all US arms exports.
The UK arms sales teams have also been busy, selling £4.6bn of weapons to the Saudi's since the conflict started in 2015 alone with Saudi Arabia now the biggest market for UK arms sales.
Tory MP, Andrew Mitchell, has lambasted his own Government for the UK's 'shameful complicity in the suffering of the Yemeni people' but unless more Government members speak up at the awfulness of backing the vile Saudi regime, the UK and US will continue to rely on the Saudi's buying our weapons to kill and injure Yemeni's to plump up our sagging economies.
The more weaponry they deploy to kill Yemini's the more we are there eager to sell them more to replace the ones used and worsen what is already the World's worst humanitarian conflict.

Tuesday, 12 June 2018

Trump's New BFF

They say a camera puts ten pounds on you so the amount of cameras pointing at Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump this morning must have been tremendous as the two of them squeezed through a very, very wide doorway together and heralded in a new age of whatever they signed up for because nobody seems to know.
What we do know about the meeting between them is that the signing ceremony was delayed due to them taking an extended lunch which was no surprise considering it was the two most well fed world leaders chowing down and that North Korea agreed to work towards denuclearising the Korean Peninsula at some point in the future when they get around to it between now and whenever. 
Mr Trump said America's joint military exercises with South Korea would be halted and that the meeting: 'had gone better than anybody expected' by which he meant he hadn't felt up the waitress or dribbled sauce down his tie.
I'm sure that the finer details will come out over the next few days but its nice to see jaw-jaw rather than war-war even if the American President has just called 'talented' and guaranteed the safety of the most brutal dictator on the Planet, who sends assassins to kill his half-brother with VX nerve agent and has 100,000 political prisoners locked up and tortured.
Now that France's Macron is distancing himself from Trump, Kim is his new BFF or at least until he Tweets something derogatory and Kim threatens to make the West coast of America into a smoking hole again anyway.

Scientific Proof Men Are Getting Dumber

Science has asked the question 'Are men getting dumber'? The correct answer is yes, obviously, next question but that would make this post far too short and i get paid by the word so let's try and pad this out a bit.
Scientists believe they have identified a reversal in something called the Flynn effect, where IQs rise by points each generation but for the owners of a Y Chromosome, the men in white coats think that this was only true until the generation born about 1975, coming of age in the 1990s when the next generation of men became dumber by the year.
The Flynn effect refers to the trend of a gradual rise of about three points each decade in average IQs, which has been observed for 70 years but scientists at the Raglar Frisch Centre for Economic Research in Norway analysed the IQs of 730,000 men during 1970 and 2009 and found a drop equivalent of seven points per generation.
Stuart Ritchie, a psychologist at the University of Edinburgh, told The Times: "This is the most convincing evidence yet of a reversal of the Flynn effect' so next time you husband, boyfriend, brother of father acts a bit thick, take pity of them because they probably are.

Please note: Any typos or grammatical errors in this post are deliberate and a fiendish ploy to catch out any male readers 

Monday, 11 June 2018

Leave Canada Alone

Of all Great Britain's children, Canada is the one we boast about to other nations, the clean cut polite one of our offspring that everyone likes.
America is the one the one we tend not to mention, the noisy troublesome one we try and forget about springing from out empirical womb so when America takes a pop at Canada, there is only one winner and that's the one with the massive leaf on it's flag.
'Canada stabbed us in the back' whined the Americans after Canada had the god damned cheek to not just lay down in face of American tariffs and imposed their own back. 
In a fit of toddler tantrum, and already in a sulk because the others wouldn't let his best friend Russia play with them, Trump pouted and took his communique home so the others couldn't have it.
I'm sure the former CIA director, John O Brennan is right when he says to Americas friends and allies: 'Trump is a temporary aberration' and 'The America you once knew will return' but what is left of America when his boated carcass is dragged from the White House is anybodies guess, the mess George W Bush of Americas reputation took years to clean up, Trump is trashing it for a generation and everybody has Canada's back while lining up to stab knives in this current version of Trumps America.

Friday, 8 June 2018

Evidence Of Life Found On Mars?

It may not be little green men but NASA's Curiosity rover has discovered signs of life on Mars, in the form of organic molecules embedded in sedimentary rocks and variations of methane in its atmosphere.
Evidence has been discovered on the red planet that suggests Mars could have supported life in its ancient past, NASA has announced.
Studies of the Martian atmosphere have also revealed the presence of methane that could point to life currently existing on the planet.
Coupled with previous discoveries that Mars’s ancient climate allowed liquid water to pool on its surface this new discovery is further evidence that the planet was once habitable.
For the past six years the Curiosity rover has been rolling around the Martian landscape, drilling into the ground and analysing rock samples for evidence of life and is due to be joined by the Mars 2020 rover mission which will search for more organics on the surface and just below.
Michael Meyer, lead scientist for NASA's Mars Exploration Program answered the inevitable question 'Are there signs of life on Mars' with 'We don’t know, but these results tell us we are on the right track'.
Brilliant stuff.

Own Up Canada, You Set Fire To White House

If we needed any further proof that America is being run by ignorant idiots, two further examples today from the chuckle factory that is the White House.
First up involves the Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, who while in a discussion with the University educated American President, Trump accused Canada of burning down the White House in 1812.
Hard to pin that on Canada, considering that Canada didn’t exist then but i'm sure Mr Trudeau was far too polite to reply with 'For Christ's sake read a history book you ignorant moron' which was the only proper answer.
Then while we where still taking that in, taking a step forward was the State Department spokeswoman, Heather Nauert, who cited the D-Day invasion as an example of America’s 'very strong relationship with Germany'.
D-Day is not really the thing you want to cite when you're talking about the strength of the relationship between the U.S. and Germany and a wag on Twitter came up with the excellent line: 'You have six months to educate Heather Nauert on the history and significance of Pearl Harbour before she cites it as an example of strong US-Japan relations'.
That the disgracefully ignorant President is surrounding himself with disgracefully ignorant people is no surprise but this golden age for journalists and comedians is the present which just keeps on giving.

The Movable Retirement Age

I have been pondering if the age of retirement should be raised as the current Government seem to have a penchant for, or lowered.
By raising it from 65 to 67 as the Government did recently, the state doesn't pay out until two years later and to be bluntly honest, there are less 67 year olds than there are 65 year olds so the amount they have to pay out is less but that means people stay in employment for a further two years meaning less jobs available.
On the flip side, if the retirement age was lowered by two years, the Government would have to pay out state pension earlier and there are a lot more 63 years olds than 65 year olds but there would be more jobs available so they would save in having to pay out unemployment benefit.
Currently the cost to the Government for state pensions is £164 billion while the bill for unemployment benefits is £55 billion so it suits the Government to pay out unemployment benefit and keep the pensioners in work for a further two years and have less of them reaching 67. 
The contentious point is that through National Insurance contributions, the pensioners have paid in for their state pensions so it seems a bit cruel to make them wait a further two years to receive what they have paid for and it only needs some bright spark to realise hang on, we can make further savings if we move it to age 69 as there are a lot less 69 years old still knocking about.

Thursday, 7 June 2018

Tell The High Street The Economy Is Picking Up

The Government has once again said the economy is picking up but nobody seems to have told the High Street as yet another shop faces going to the wall.
A string of retailers and restaurant groups have fallen into administration in recent months, such as Toys R Us, Maplin, Warren Evans, Carphone Warehouse and Jamie Oliver’s restaurants.
Others, including House of Fraser, Mothercare and Carpetright, have resorted to company voluntary arrangements (CVAs) to close outlets and lay off staff.
Tesco is shedding 1700 jobs, Marks & Spencers 380, Sainsburys 2000, Morrisons 1500, Debenhams 320, Warren Evans 287, New Look 980, Prezzo 500, Littlewoods 1992, Carluccio's 500 and Poundworld 5000.
More than 40,000 retail and restaurant jobs have either been lost already or are at risk and a walk through any High Street and the rows of boarded up shops show that whatever measure the Government are using for the economy picking up, it is a very different one than the rest of us.

Trump Offering Kim An Unacceptable Offer

Big hopes for World Peace following the Kim-Trump chinwag next week but when your hopes rely on the two biggest kids in position of power hope is a long stretch.
Of course we hope it all goes well and on June 13th we all wake up to rainbows and lollipops but i have a bad feeling that things are not going to go as we hope.
Nations have long played the game where they meet up, one of them makes unrealistic demands of the other and use that as an excuse to walk away, or make military moves, and blame the other guy.
Israel have done it to the Palestinians for decades, most notably at the peace talks at Camp David where in return for Peace, Israel demanded they keep 80% of their illegal settlements and refugees permanently denied the right to return to their homes, a deal even US president Jimmy Carter commented later: 'There was no possibility that any Palestinian leader could accept' and the
failure was put on on Yasir Arafat for not accepting.
In 1999, the US and Kosovans met with representatives from Yugoslavia and demanded complete independence for Kosovo and allow NATO personnel unrestricted passage and unimpeded access throughout the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia and immunity from all legal process and laws governing any criminal or disciplinary offences which may be committed by Nato personnel.
Deal rejected by the Yugoslavs, who were then painted as the aggressors, paving the way for war.
Already Donald Trump is demanding 'complete, verifiable and irreversible denuclearisation of North Korea' and stating that 'the U.S. will not be lifting sanctions, until North Korea has substantially dismantled its nuclear programs' meaning that the North Koreans will gain nothing in return for this one-sided destruction of their defences, until the process is all but complete.
That Kim has already said that they will not become another Iraq or Libya who were disarmed and then invaded by America, the odds of a deal being brokered is slim to none.
As America has already said it is guaranteeing Mr. Kim’s safety and to make his country rich, you can already hear the inevitable accusations that Trump’s 'generous offer' has been rejected and the United States can move swiftly on to the next phase, safe in the knowledge that the North Koreans have been painted as the ones refusing to accept peace. 
I may be wrong but history shows that making the offer of an unacceptable offer is a tried and trusted ploy of the real aggressors.

Sweden Channeling It's Inner Odin

In May, Sweden issued a brochure to all it's citizens called 'If Crisis or War Comes' containing advice on how to take shelter, what foods to stock, how to manage water reserves and, most importantly, how to tell propaganda from trustworthy information.
The booklet is designed to prepare the populace in case of all-out war and now they have followed that up with the call up of it's entire 22,000 reservist Home Guard force for exercises.
The Swedish Supreme Military Commander said it was: 'to strengthen Sweden's military defence and improve our operational capabilities' but you do wonder just what Sweden are planning?
Should Norway or Finland start worrying or are they channeling their inner Viking and have their sights set on the raiding the North of England again like last time they got a bit uppity?
We should probably watch those Thor movies just in case.

Computer Say's England Out In The Quarter Finals

At some point in the past England was invaded by the Saxons and the Normans which is enough to allow us to claim French and German heritage when it comes to who to start backing once England get knocked out of the World Cup but according to Sports Data Company Gracenote, that won't happen until the Quarter Finals.
That calculation is based on one million simulations of the World Cup run by Gracenote, with points awarded for each match based on the probability of a win/draw/defeat based on the ranking of each side as they proceed through the competition.
If England win their group, and there is a 71% chance they will, they will face either Poland, Senegal, Colombia or Japan from Group H in the last 16 and are predicted to have a 41% chance of progressing.
The problem comes in the shape of Germany or Brazil who are waiting for us in the last 8 and our odds of beating either of these drops to a pathetic 18%.
In all England have 4% chance of winning the whole shebang and bringing the World up to our green and pleasant land with the most likely destination being Brazil's yellow and sandy land with a 21% chance.
So England out in the Quarter Finals and then it's either Komm auf Deutschland or Allez les Bleus, do it for Great, Great x150 Grandfather Heinrich or Pierre!

Wednesday, 6 June 2018

Right Decision By Argentina

The head of the Israeli football association has said Palestinians have 'crossed a red line' by forcing the cancellation of friendly match against Argentina in Jerusalem.
Not literally crossed any lines of course, they would have been shot dead in large numbers by the IDF and labelled terrorists if they did but a figurative red line after protests by pro-Palestinian groups against the match in Jerusalem.
Israeli defence minister Avigdor Lieberman tweeted: 'It's a shame that Argentina's footballing nobility did not withstand the pressure from Israeli-hating inciters' but the Argentine foreign minister, Jorge Faurie, suggested the Argentine players 'were not willing to play the game'.
Striker Gonzola Higuain said they had done the right thing as 'we felt that it wasn’t right to go'.
The country's about-turn comes as Israel continues to face fierce and correct criticism over its use of lethal force against Palestinian protesters on the Gaza border which left 125 dead.
Argentina need to be congratulated for taking the correct moral stance and we can only hope that more nations take a leaf from their book and swerve Israel until it ends it's occupation and murderous land grab of Palestinian land.
Scratch up another success for the movement to support the oppressed Palestinians, more boycotts and sanctions against Israel please.

Sunday, 3 June 2018

Brexit No Deal Armageddon

No deal is better than a bad deal so said Theresa May at the start of the Brexit negotiations but thanks to a leaker at the Home Office, we now know exactly what a no deal would entail, and like Boris Johnson's haircut, it isn't good.
Whitehall officials are reported to have drawn up three different scenarios for a cross-government group preparing for Britain's departure from the EU and the second worst scenario is the UK running short of medicines, food and fuel within two weeks of leaving.
According to the Sunday Times, the worst scenario is titled 'Armageddon' so heaven only knows what they think will happen with that because the second worst scenario is scary enough.
The leaked memo shows the Department for Exiting the EU (DExEUt) expect the port of Dover to collapse on day one, supermarkets in Cornwall and Scotland will run out of food within a couple of days and hospitals will run out of medicines and the country will be starved of petrol within two weeks.
A Whitehall source did little to calm fears by saying that the government has been discussing a range of scenarios and it was something that's been discussed extensively.
The Government have recently revealed plans to section off a 13-mile stretch of the M20 in Kent, which leads to the port of Dover, to hold around 2,000 lorries in the event of severe cross-Channel congestion.
MP's from all parties are now calling for the full paper covering all scenarios to be made public and whether the Government still think no deal is better because if they are planning to carry on with Brexit knowing what will happen and expect pandemonium and chaos, we need to know and put a stop to all this nonsense now before we sleep-walk into Armageddon.

Melania Trump Still Missing

The joke was that when Melania Trump went into hospital it wasn't to get her kidneys treated but to get a spine implanted so she could leave the fat oaf she is married to and although i'm not one for conspiracy theories, it seems waving goodbye to him may be exactly what she has done.
It has been 23 days since she was last seen publicly when she accompanied the tiny handed President to welcome home three Americans who had been released from detention in North Korea and four days later, the White House announced that she had successfully undergone an 'embolisation' procedure to treat a kidney condition, and that there were no complications.
She left the Medical Centre five days later and Twitter followers noticed that Melania then switched the location status on her personal Twitter account to New York City.
It’s nice to imagine that Melania, who like the rest of us does little to hide her contempt for her awful husband, has finally flown the coop and left her pussy grabbing, porn star humping husband after he heaped even further humiliation on her as no person should have to tolerate that from a man whose a compulsive liar, a self confessed sex offender and has paid $130,000 to try and hush up the sex with an adult actress outside of their marriage.
Hopefully she had the sense to sign a pre-nup and sends him skittering to a bankruptcy court for a sixth time but until we see Melania back to her old captive self, avoiding her husband’s hand like old times, we can all assume that something is amiss.

Saturday, 2 June 2018

June Could Bring End Of May

The whispers that the Conservative Party are looking to nudge Theresa May out of the Prime Minsters chair is one of those moments where you stop mid-cheer as you realise just who may replace her.
It is not hyperbole to say that Mrs May has had a rough ride since the debacle which was the 2017 election and the talk is of leadership challenges, critical Commons votes on Brexit and a landmark European Council meeting and Tory Party donaters getting the hump that she is not delivering.
The EU Withdrawal Bill pinging between the House of Commons, after the Lord’s defeated the government 15 times is a case in point means that her authority as prime minister as been severely weekend and earned her the wrath of Brexiteers who are still deluding themselves Britain is fighting for its independence from the EU.
The possible replacements being touted are Jacob Rees-Mogg, Boris Johnson and Michael Gove who are hardline right wingers who would all usher in a quickening of the the Conservative Party decline but Ruth Davidson could be an inspired choice who could pause the Labour Party stroll to the next election, so they won't do that.
The smart money is on Michael Gove taking over if May is pushed aside but he is instantly dislikable and who us Labour Supporters are urging the Conservatives to go with.
The EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier is insisting that Britain and the EU must reach an agreement on the key points of the Northern Ireland border issue by the middle of June and May’s cabinet are hopelessly split on it and the Government’s handling of negotiations with the EU have been woefully poor.
The Conservatives have been awful in Government and Theresa May a poor Prime Minister but if the Tories do replace her with any of those being put forward it will usher in a Labour Government and a massive dollop of Socialism which should come as a relief after a decade of right-wing ideology which has done us no favours whatsoever. 

90 Days of Summer: Day 2

We are now officially on the second day of meteorological summer so it is quite impressive that i have already been sun burnt twice and been stung on the shoulder by something stingy so the next 88 days are going to see me smelling strongly of a mix of after sun and insect bite cream. 
As the solstice, or midsummer, comes on Day 21 of Summer, it always seems the seasons are a little out of whack that it arrives approximately quarter-summer and it would make more sense to have May, June and July as Summer so the longest day is in the middle of the season so someone back in the day messed up.
This Summer sees the World Cup in Russia when the World's top 32 footballing nations come together to kick a ball about for a couple of weeks to find out who is the best and it would not be in the spirit of the event to congratulate Germany on winning it so let's wait until July for that. 
I'm off on holidays for a large chunk of August so will probably put up some pre-written nonsense to keep the blog going while i spend hours in the early mornings of 12th/13th/14th August gazing at the clouds blocking the view of the Perseid meteor shower.
I'm not much of a fan of summer, to hot and humid for us pasty skinned types who seem to have skin most favourable for things with stingers so 88 days to go before we can put it all behind us and dig out the jumpers and boots again although i have got the coolest pair of Steampunk sunglasses for this year, until i sit on them of course.

Friday, 1 June 2018

Trade War!!

Trade wars are good, and easy to win apparently according to Donald Trump which is good news for him because it seems he is about to get one.
Immediately after the US announced the 25% tariffs on Steel and 10% on Aluminum would be imposed on the EU, Canada and Mexico, all three responded with tariffs of their own on American goods.
China are also placing wide ranging tariffs on American products and in one fell swoop Trump has large swathes of the World lining up to make it almost impossible for America to sell their goods in all the largest markets.
Can't understand Trump's thinking, one American trade group has put a total of half a million American job losses caused by the retaliatory tariffs so not sure this one will be so easy to win after all.
I guess if America is content to let someone who has been made bankrupt five times to run their economy then this is what they can expect from him.
I'm sure it will all turn out okay in the end, not so much for America but don't worry, you only got another two and half years of him and then you can start to rebuild your shattered economy and reputation.