Thursday, 30 April 2020

Using The Spanish Flu Pandemic As A Textbook

Not that i am subscriber to the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences or had even heard of it until today but they had an article regarding the 1918 Spanish Flu pandemic and it chimes very closely with today's events.
The 1918 flu lasted until 1920 and killed 50 million and scientists and historians must be studying that outbreak for clues to the most effective way to stop the current global pandemic.
The National Academy of Sciences piece says at the oneet of the outbreak, there were no effective drugs or vaccines to treat this killer flu strain and citizens were ordered to wear masks, schools, theaters, churches, businesses were closed and quarantines were imposed advising people to stay at home and public gatherings were banned.
The flu ravaged the World for two years and then it came to an end as those that were infected either died or developed immunity, the 'herd immunity effect' which our own Conservative Garden were considering until the intervention of scientists and an unacceptable death toll.
In the aftermath, they found that death rates were much lower in countries that implemented preventative measures such as lock-downs early on, versus those that did so late or not at all.
The studies reached another important conclusion for today's politicians that relaxing intervention measures too early caused relapses, leading to second and third waves of the flu which killed many more while the nations which kept the lock-downs in place longer, fared better.
Fascinating stuff and almost identical to today except today we have the additional factor of a possible vaccine but every World Leader should be sent a copy of that edition of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences and use it as a text book of what to do, and what not to do, to get as many of us through this as possible.

Saving Lives First, Saving The Economy Second

I have always found talk that the most important aspect of this pandemic is not overwhelming the NHS strange because i always thought the most important aspect was people not dying needlessly but i decided to take it that they meant an overwhelmed NHS would mean less people able to be treated and therefore dying so it;s the same same objective, just that the Government took two steps to get to where i was with my one step.
What i can't accept, as well as the ridiculous war language the government seem to insist on using, is the continual chatter that we need to get the economy going as soon as possible.
It is okay for America where some are demonstrating to end the lock-down by taking to the streets and therefore ensuring that the virus has a fresh bunch of previously hidden away bodies to infect, it is run by a man who described it all as a hoax, blamed the WHO and China for his own inadequacies and then told people to ingest disinfectant, he is up there with our own Boris Johnson and Brazil's Jair Bolsonaro as the people running the show who you would least like to be running the show.
The right-wing press is now starting to make louder sounds about ending the lock-down, a familiar cry is that the economic woes will end up destroying as many lives as the virus which in the UK has so far killed 26,097, the Conservative Party Austerity measures following the 2008 economic woes resulted in over 130,000 deaths in the UK according to Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR) but i don't recall the right wing press speaking up then as the poor and disabled got buried.
We all know that the UK economy has tanked but the lockdown isn't going to be forever and when it all comes to an end, it will grow again and as Capitalism has shown time after time, it will fall over again and crash the economy many times over in our lifetimes but if the lock-down is ended before it should safely be, because the economy is currently suffering, then many more will die as the virus spreads itself around the population once again.
The Conservatives running the show are the same Conservatives that literally gave us the killer austerity last time and as they have nothing else left to cut so they will probably have to bring in tax rises to balance the books but if the choice is between keeping everybody safe and paying some extra tax for the next few years, then that seems a better option than risking more people dying than is necessary in order to bring back an economy a few months quicker, an economy which will eventually spring back anyway.
It is not a choice between saving lives or saving the economy, both can be done but saving lives must always come first and then afterwards we start on the finances because i guarantee you ask anybody who has lost a loved one to Covid-19 if they could have their loved one back but it would cost them an few extra pence on income tax for the next few years, they would take the tax rise.

Special Guest Blogger: George Best

I am sometimes mentioned in the same breath as Maradona and Pele but neither was a patch on me, i could drink them both under the table any day of the week.
Football is a simple game really, two teams of 11 men play with each other watched by an excited crowd but i had a clear strategy each match day, i would create some space and get into a good position outside the off licence in time for opening time and then try and get around the back, the back of a nightclub going hard to tackle photographer's and staying close to the topless models, making my presence felt.
I'd try to slip away from my marker and get one in the Daily Mirror front page before attacking sweet and sour chicken balls from the Chinese takeaway.
For me Football was a way to earn money to pay my drinks bill, when i was playing salaries were a fraction of what top players earn today, but, with my pop star image and celebrity status, i still earned a fortune and lost almost all of it. When asked what happened to the money i had earned, i said that i spent a lot of money on booze, women and fast cars and the rest I just squandered.
Alcohol was to prove my downfall, i would steal money to fund drinking sessions and received two prison sentences for drink driving, one for assaulting a police officer and another for failing to answer bail.
I appeared on the BBC chat show Wogan heavily drunk and swearing but it all took its toll i and suffered severe liver damage and underwent a successful liver transplant but i just took it as a sign that i could carry on drinking but the alcohol didn't sit well with the anti-rejection drugs and in protest with my liver, all the rest of my organs gave up and i died aged just 59.
Today's footballers like Ronaldo and Messi are brighter, live cleaner and are fitter with all these press ups, running 10 times round the pitch and eating pasta but let's see if they can still run rings around defenders while pissed on as bottle of Absinthe as i was, then let's compare records.

Wednesday, 29 April 2020

Special Guest Blogger: Duke of Wellington

I was a great military leader, but an appallingly bad Prime Minister. I beat Napoleon at Waterloo and set in motion Abba's musical career but growing bored of beating on the French, i decided to flout my popularity and image of being the 'Iron Duke' due to my military triumphs and enter politics.
I soon found myself leader of the Tory party and then Prime Minister despite not being British but hailing from Dublin in Ireland.
I didn’t even live in Downing Street as i considered it too small and pokey so stayed in my own home at Apsley House.
During my unhappy time as Britain's leader i did find the time to fight a duel with the Earl of Winchelsea after he had a pop at Catholics in which i failed to hit the target which was his big, fat head but more importantly so did he.
I famously hated train rides and avoided them like a Frenchman avoids soapy water and after meeting Vice-Admiral Horatio Nelson,described him as a vain, silly man who disgusted me so in a brilliant display of ineptitude, after my death, they put my body on a train to London and buried me in a sarcophagus in St Paul's Cathedral, right next to Lord Nelson.
Considering all my battles, i died quietly sitting in a chair after suffering a stroke but my legend lives on in Wellington boots, Beef Wellington and having my face on the five pound note.
To top it all, despite being as British as a Pint of Guinness, i was voted number 15 in the BBC's poll of the 100 Greatest Britons, between Alfred The Great and Margaret Thatcher.

Tuesday, 28 April 2020

Concerns Over NHS App

The NHS are planning to release a sorely needed contact-tracing app using bluetooth technology imminently which will notify users who have downloaded the app if they have come into close proximity with someone who has been diagnosed with Covid-19.
First off, the app is updated by users self-reporting if they were experiencing the symptoms of COVID-19 which opens the potential for some to send false reports and force people to self-isolate when they don't have to, schoolkids, idiots and those wanting 2 weeks off work will have a field day.
Crucial to the app's success which is due to be tested this week on a small sample, is a take up of at least 60% of the population downloading the software onto their phones but the news that the NHS have been in discussions with the British Spy Agency, GCHQ, and the fact that the information provided will be held on a central database, throws up a massive red flag immediately for many.
It will be a hard sell and the Government are planning a public awareness campaign advising that the app is an essential part of any running down of the restrictions and for keeping your family safe and getting the countries economy moving.
The NHS has chosen to go with its own model rather than one proposed by Apple and Google like the ones being used in other countries such as Germany and Australia although they have not been without problems such as draining the battery and requiring the phone to be unlocked at all times, the Australian app accidentally sent out a message telling them that they had contracted Coronavirus.
The biggest issue the UK Government will have is getting enough people to trust them with their most personal medical information and that is going to be tough for any Government but especially tough for Boris Johnson's lot.

Somebody's Watching Us

Something that is without question is that somewhere amongst the billions of billions of stars out there, there's life because the odds that we are the only inhabited planet is ridiculously small. 
That there has to be life elsewhere does not mean that they are coming here in flying saucers to study us although the release of three videos by the US Department of Defence (DoD) showing evidence of 'unidentified flying objects' may change that.
The three videos show what pilots saw during training flights in 2004 and 2015, with one video showing an oblong object hovering above the Pacific which then flies away quickly away: 'accelerating like nothing I’ve ever seen' according to the pilot.
Another video show objects moving quickly through the sky, one of them seeming to rotate in the air and nobody has yet come up with an explanation for the mysterious crafts recorded but that's where the unidentified part of the UFO comes in but as everybody is looking upwards anyway, keep an eye out for a massive ball of rock heading our weay as NASA has released a briefing that an enormous 1.5 miles wide asteroid will skim past the earth tomorrow within 3.9 million miles, a close shave in astronomical terms.
'Asteroid 1998 OR2 will safely pass by Earth at a distance of 3.9 million miles/6.2 million km on April 29' say NASA.

Sex Scandal Hit Biden Or Trump In Fine Presidential Company

With the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, Joe Biden, accused of sexual assault by a former staffer Tara Reade and the current President admitting to 'grabbing women by the pussy', the choice for the next President seems to be between a alleged sex offender and a self-admitted one but it wouldn't be the first time that Americans have elected a man with sexual scandals in his locker to the highest office in their land.
George Washington, the very first president was alleged to have fathered children with a slave named Venus who lived on his family's estate and the same accusation was made against John Tyler with one of his Virginia slaves with James Garfield had an extramarital affair while he was a Civil War general.
DNA evidence has proved that Thomas Jefferson fathered six children with his slave and the half sister of his late wife, Sally Heming and bigamist Andrew Jackson married an already married woman while James Buchanan was an alleged closet homosexual having an affair with a fellow Senator William Rufus King, scandalous in 19th Century America.
Grover Cleveland denied raping and fathering a child but paid child support to the mother and Woodrow Wilson and Warren Harding were reportedly having affairs and Harding fathering at least one confirmed illegitimate child.
Dwight Eisenhower carried out a lengthy affair with his driver, Kay Summersby and Franklin D. Roosevelt was notorious for plenty of extra-marital affairs as was John F. Kennedy including Marilyn Monroe and an intern which is exactly what Bill Clinton was famously found guilty of and all the information regarding cigars and 'that blue dress' and the accompanying stains.
Father like son with George H.W. Bush faced allegations of affairs with a White House staffer and his son, George W. Bush was alleged of sexually assaulting a Texas woman who later committed suicide and engaged in an 18-month affair with a former stripper.
Lyndon B. Johnson had extramarital affairs with multiple women over the years with at least one illegitmate child and Trump is a self confessed sexual predator with affairs with porn stars to his name so whichever one out of Biden or Trump wins in November, they will in fine company in the list of sex scandal Presidents.

Credit Where It's Due Before The Reckoning

The Government is in for a well deserved kicking once this is all over and i will be there with my sharpest stilettos on when that times comes but as bad as they have been, they got some things exactly right.
The Job Retention Scheme (JRS) where they pay 80% of employees wages was a pleasant surprise, when it was first mooted as a way to save massive redundancies i thought they would never go for that but a big tick in the plus column for that.
The JRS was also made an easy, straight forward online process which seems to have been delivered ahead of time and with none of the hiccups that generally come with HMRC processes.
The Self Employment Scheme where they pay 80% based on the last three years Tax Returns was also a good idea although that process has not yet come into being but as it is based on the same process as the JRS, it should be fine.
Another thumbs up for the decision to close schools to all except the children of key-workers, it allowed the parents of key-workers deemed essential to the running of the country to carry on essentially running the country while allowing social distancing in the radically reduced classroom.   
I liked the 5pm daily briefings with unfiltered questions from journalists which has kept us all informed of the latest developments and the refusal, so far, to buckle to demands from some businesses to open up the lock-down quickly for the economies sake shows that they are willing to take a massive hit financially to keep the population, and the NHS, from being overrun.
All this does not begin to make up for the massive amounts they got, and continue to get, horribly wrong and the consequences for that will be rightly damning but that's for another day.

Special Guest Blogger: Boris Yeltsin

For eight years i was the first democratically elected President of Russia, leading the way for reforms, rekindling warm relations with the West and generally hitting the hooch harder than Oliver Reed and Winston Churchill's reanimated corpses sewn together.
Voted into power, i was mostly seen as a democratic hard man based on that time i stood on a tank to denounce those trying to overthrow the Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev but i turned out to be anything but.
Throughout my Presidency i went to Kazakhstan and played bongos on the shiny, bald head of their President, almost fell off the stage in Sweden while comparing Swedish meatballs to tennis star Bjorn Borg's face, announced that i was in Finland while stood outside The Kremlin in Red Square, was too drunk to get off the plane at Dublin airport and misspoke after one boozy session by calling a press conference and explaining that Russia was getting rid of all of our nuclear weapons.
While in Germany to see the last Russian troops come out of Germany, i got sloshed on champagne, snatched the baton from the conductor of a police orchestra and pretended to conduct them while blowing kisses to the crowd and danced around like a drunken maniac, which in truth i was.
Can you picture Angela Merkel slipping past her handlers and running out the White House and down Pennsylvania Avenue in her underwear like i did, actually on second thoughts, don't try to imagine it.
That's the problem with World Leaders today, no sense of fun or a penchant for necking strong alcohol and playing the drums on a World leaders head.
I did some good things and i did bad things but i will always be remembered for being the drunk Russian President who was too pissed to get off the plane and meet the Irish President and that's how it should be or rather would be if i stayed sober long enough to remember it.

Monday, 27 April 2020

Special Guest Blogger: Hugo Chavez

Some would describe me as a hero of the poor who swept away decades of corruption while others just call me the fat dictator in a stupid beret but any man who is loved by the poor and hated by the rich must have done something right.
It was unlucky for me that during my leadership of Venezuela the Americans had a 18 carat moron in charge, a man i called the Devil and a donkey, George W Bush.
Remember that this was the era of Somalia, Haiti, Kosovo, Iraq and Afghanistan when America attempted to bring peace to the world by going to war with other nations, a war against war with those countries who went to war because they were so against war they were prepared to go to war to fight in a war against war. Yes, really.
So while the retarded cowboy was off killing people, i was taking my country which had been ravished by years of right wing corruption under Capitalism, and set about improving the lot of the majority and not the few.
As a Socialist i was motivated by the desire to improve the quality of life for all members of society and to redistribute the resources to redress inherent inequalities and what i did was not such a revolutionary idea, i just let the people keep the profits from the natural resources of their country to better their lives. Shocking concept right.
My record includes introducing 1m free literacy courses, building free medical centers and hospitals and hiring 20,000 more doctors, constructing schools in the poorest neighbourhoods and giving away 1.8m free school meals, subsidising supermarkets to reduce the cost of food, reducing poverty from 60% to 27%, reducing inflation from 120% to 20% and grew the Venezuelan economy by 80%.
Sure the the most blinkered McCarthy era relics will not admit that the first serious attempt at a modern form of Socialism was a roaring success but then the current advocates for the opposite of Socialism is called Trump which is the English word for a fart while Johnson is the American slang for a penis and that just about sums them both and their Capitalist policies up completely.
All things considered, i don't think i did to bad for a fat bloke in a silly hat.

Sunday, 26 April 2020

Restriction LIfting Win-Win For Me

We woke up to news this morning that Boris Johnson is going back to work on Monday which doesn't fill anybody with confidence considering that he is in charge keeping us all safe during the Coronavirus effort but was off work himself after catching it but it proves nobody is immune, especially those who boasted proudly about shaking hands with Coronavirus victims just prior to falling ill.
What the Prime Minister does have to decide is when and how to bring us out of lock-down because whatever he does the cases are going to go up as people begin to mingle back in the outside World.
With the economy tanking at an alarming rate, he has a fine balancing act to achieve but the medical teams are saying that the current rate of newly hospitalised cases, currently standing at 3,583, is far too high to consider lifting lock-down restrictions at present and the number would need to get down to a few hundred new cases a day before they can do that which could take months.
According to some, there is a battle going on within Government between those who want the restrictions eased to save the economy from collapse or whether the restrictions should be tightened even further to reduce the new cases quicker.
The restrictions are due to be looked at again on May 7th by which time we should have some figures in from nations which have partially lifted their lock-down and decide from their experiences how we should proceed but from a purely personal point of view, i am loving the empty roads and empty supermarkets at keyworker times so if they decide to lift restrictions and i can go back to work proper then i am fine, if they decide to leave things for another three weeks i am fine with that also.
Over to you Boris.

Special Guest Blogger: Millard Fillmore

Despite being cursed with a christian name of Millard, i became the 13th President of the United States and was also a member of a party called The Know Nothing Party.
Our values were primarily anti-Catholic, xenophobic, and hostile to immigration, so not too far from today's President really.
We believed that the Catholics immigrants coming into the United States were attempting to take over the government and the Pope directly opposed American values and what the US Government stood for so we proposed that all Catholic immigrants should go through a twenty-one year naturalisation processes to prove their patriotism and that they should be removed from public office.
Obviously being a right wing fruitcake is fine nowadays but i only became President after Zachary Taylor’s died, hilariously from eating too many cherries.
Less funny was Taylor's dislike for slavery so one of the first things i did once gaining the Presidency was pass the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850 which required that slaves who escaped to free states be returned to their owners and made it illegal to help fleeing slaves.
To prove it wasn't just the Blacks and Catholics i hated, i also promoted the ethnic cleansing of Native Americans to reservations to make way for white settlers.
After coming third in the following election, i went on to commanded the Union Continentals, the Dad's Army of home guards for males who were either too old, too unfit or just too plain useless, men like that Private Pike, the stupid boy. 
After my death, my biographer said that 'Fillmore was always on the wrong side of the great moral and political issues' so it is nice to see that the Know Nothing Party continued, it just changed it's name to The Republican Party.

Saturday, 25 April 2020

Kim Jung-Un Dead Reports

Every so often news breaks on Social Media of a celebrity death only for the aforementioned celebrity to pop up and prove they are very much alive but my Social Media accounts are currently showing North Korea's leader Kim Jung Un has died.
I know that many media outlets are currently trying desperately to get it either verified or denied by the Korea Central News Agency, the state news agency of North Korea, or any other state media but as it is North Korea, it isn't easy but the speculation may have some legs because it was reported this week that Kim was recovering after undergoing a cardiovascular procedure which is why he missed an event to mark the birthday of his grandfather, Kim Il-sung, on 15 April, an important anniversary in North Korea and China sent a medical team to North Korea on Thursday to check on Kim.
The 36 year old is known as a heavy smoker, he is grossly overweight and there is a family history of cardiovascular problems and media outlets in China and Japan are reporting he died following complications from the surgery to insert a stent in his artery, the HKSTV Hong Kong Satellite Television is citing the news of his death has come from 'a very solid source'.
Kim's younger sister, 32 year old Kim Yo-jong, has been designated as his successor but it is unknown whether a woman could become the North Korean leader but she was reported to have taken over state duties for her ailing brother in 2014 while he underwent medical treatment.

20,000 UK Deaths Milestone Surpassed

At the start of the Coronavirus outbreak, the government's chief scientific adviser, Patrick Vallance, said of Covid-19 deaths: 'If we can get this down to 20,000 and below, that is a good outcome' but as the grisly total passed that today, we have obviously moved beyond a good outcome so where are we headed now?
The original number was 250,000 deaths if the lock-down was not implemented although in reality, as the 20,319 figure of deaths released today only counts the deaths of patients with Coronavirus in UK hospitals, the UK probably passed the 20,000 deaths mark a long time ago.
As the numbers are now being revised, the University College London's Institute for Global Health has estimated the UK could see 40,000 deaths while the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation are pitching the figure as between 38,000 and 66,000. 
It is 51 days since the first virus-related death was announced in the UK but the signs are that that we have passed the peak of deaths but the UK now becomes the fifth country to announce Coronavirus-related deaths exceeding 20,000 after the US, Spain, Italy and France.
What is becoming clear is that by the Government Ministers constantly repeating that all the way through the pandemic, they have 'followed the science', when the inevitable inquiry is launched into just how badly they have managed the pandemic, the fingers will be pointed sharply towards the scientists who were giving them the advice.

Grim Coronavirus League Table

Every leader of every nation is assuring their citizens that they are doing their absolute best to keep their citizens safe from Coronavirus as the death toll continues to rise around the World but it is hard to compare nations like for like, the United States has far more Covid-19 deaths than any other country, as of today over 52,000 deaths, double the amount of the next nearest country Italy, but the US has a population of 330 million people, approximately the same as the whole of Europe. 
Then there are the ways that the figures are recorded, Britain only include deaths in hospitals while some other countries take account of all deaths regardless of where they happened so the grim figures given out every day can be misleading but one measure is how many deaths have occurred compared with the size of a country's population as the table to the left shows the numbers of deaths per million people.
This though is problematic as top of the depressing league table is San Marino with 1,179 deaths per million citizens but the principality only has a population of about 34,000 which skews the figures horribly.
If you take the first decent sized country, Belgium seems to be the worst hit with 597 deaths per million citizens followed by Spain (482), Italy (430), France (341) and then the UK with 287.
Of the two most populous countries, China with a population of 1.4 billion has 3 deaths per million and India which has a population 1.3 billion is towards the bottom of the league with 0.6 per million so again, the figures are distorted.
Nations are also at different stages of the outbreak so if a country's first case was early in the global outbreak, then it has had longer for its death toll to grow.
Then there is the problem of the different political systems, the numbers from
China have been continually questioned and even the UK has been accused of underestimating the death toll as it does not count the deaths in Care Homes which some have put at the same as deaths in hospital which are being counted.
Some countries also went quickly for a full on lock-down, some seemed to meander slowly towards one while some, such as Sweden, have kept things relatively light and just warned their citizens to adhere to social distancing but until this outbreak is over and the devastating final toll is known, we won't know for sure which countries have dealt with the virus better but hopefully we will learn, if it ever happens again, whose example to follow.

Special Guest Blogger: Jim Morrison

People who think they know about music like to pretend that The Doors were an incredibly heavy band, embodying the image of me as a tortured poet. I had the look, the achingly pretentious song lyrics and the tight leather trousers with some of my most enigmatic lyrics encompassed on the song 'The End'.
It seemed to reference the Greek tale of Oedipus but it was actually about splitting up with a girlfriend and then moving west across America to find lots and lots of sex.
Even to the most hard of thinking, i sing about riding the snake and for those still struggling with it, i even say 'Come on baby, fuck me baby' several times over and over.
As poetic as some might believe me to have been, it's also important to remember that i did an awful lot of drugs, and i mean an AWFUL lots of drugs and was away with the fairies pretty much constantly during the writing and recordings of our songs, songs which i filled with drugs references.
Our band took it's name from the title of Aldous Huxley's book 'The Doors of Perception' which is all about psychedelic drug use and drugs played a significant role in my life and ultimately my death, being found dead at age 27 in a bathtub in a Parisian apartment.
As there was no autopsy the official cause of death was listed as heart failure, which sounds better than drowned in the bath while off his tits on LSD.
Time could have tarnished my legacy a bit and people could have noticed that my position in musical history was more down to my image as i didn't have a great voice and my lyrics were a bit naff so i'm eternally thankful that the even worse sounding Lou Reed came along to take the heat off me.

Friday, 24 April 2020

You First Donald

I stumbled out of bed this morning and while i was brushing my teeth and trying to free a slice of bread that was wedged in the toaster,  i heard the radio commentator repeat something that Donald Trump had said about a possible treatment for Coronavirus.
I assumed, because it was so outrageously awful, in my sleepy bread and toothpaste related state i had misheard because even him, as moronic and ignorant he is, even HE wouldn't have said such an absurd thing.
It was only when i saw that the maker of Dettol disinfectant put out a statement that their product: 'should not be ingested under any circumstances, our disinfectant products should not be administered into the human body through injection, ingestion or any other route' that i realised that he did say what i thought i heard him say.   
'Right, and then I see the disinfectant, it knocks it out in a minute, one minute and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning' he said before adding: 'I'm not a doctor. I am a person that has a good, you know what' he added while pointing to his head and not explaining what we knew he had a good one of but we can assume he didn't mean brain or hairstyle obviously.
It beggars belief that you would say such a thing but then again it is mad that a disinfectant company felt it had to put out a statement saying don't drink or inject it.
Trump supporters were obviously not towards the front of the queue when intelligence was being handed out but even they wouldn't drink disinfectant, would they? The Dettol people obviously thought some might so stepped in to say ignore the massive orange idiot.
As for Trump drinking it, knock yourself out, as you said about another failed cure you were pushing recently, what's the worst that could happen?

Special Guest Blogger: King Harold II

I had the distinction of being the last crowned Anglo-Saxon king of England after a successful run of six centuries.
Way back in 1066, while anxiously awaiting the impending Norman invasion, the Vikings led by my brother Tostig took me by surprise by landing from the north so i marched my men 185 miles in four days and handed out a good old fashioned arse whupping, such a spanking was dished out that the Scandinavians never invaded Britain again.
I then had a bit of a beef with the Welsh (who doesn't) after they invaded and set fire to large swathes of Hereford but after sending them and the Vikings packing, i turned my sights on the Normans although William and i were big pals.
I even went to France to help him fight against the Duke of Brittany and that's where things get a bit murky as i supposedly swore an oath to William that i would support his claim to the English throne after King Edward's death due to Eddy not having any children to inherit the throne as he was far too religious for all that sinful sex stuff.
So it ended up William and i both believed that we would be King of England but i distinctly remember that when he asked if i would support him i kind of mumbled something about that being the time and i really must get back wash my hair which he took as me saying yes.
So instead of Norwegians and leek munchers, the French invaded and the dash back South to lead my men into the greatest battle England had ever seen at Hastings where we fought all day, us heroic Brits holding the advantage of higher ground but the Normans had a surprise tactic, they ran away.
With hindsight, running after them wasn't the best idea because as soon as we left the higher ground to chase them, they stopped running, turned around and hack hack, chop chop and the famous arrow in the eye followed by my body being so desecrated by the Normans that i had to be identified by my lover from marks on my body only she knew about.
What i left behind was a French King, the year seven school syllabus and that joke about me apparently saying 'keep an eye on those archers'.

Thursday, 23 April 2020

After Covid 19, The Recession

The immediate concern for most Brits is of course the Coronavirus which has killed over 15,000 so far in this country alone but we know that once we all stumble out into the daylight either with an armful of vaccine or nicotine patches, a wrecked economy is awaiting us and we hadn't even recovered from the last one.
After announcing that the Treasury is seeking to borrow £180bn over the next three months to help meet its financing requirements, a Bank of England official has warned after grim economic data showed business activity crashing at its fastest pace on record that Britain is experiencing 'an economic contraction that is faster and deeper than anything we have seen in the past century, or possibly several centuries'.
That we will emerge into yet another recession is a given and my concern is that this is the same Conservative Party who will guide us through the choppy waters this time is the same one who were so horrific in battling the last one.
A 2017 report from Medical Journal, BMJ Open, put the amount of deaths due to the Governments austerity measures over the last decade accounted for an additional 120,000 people who actually died versus the number of people who would have been expected to die in that period due to cut backs.
The scandalous cut backs to the NHS now being shown as the under-funding and under-staffing the reason the Nurses and Doctors are having to make do without PPE and medical equipment when they most need it. 
After ten years of hacking back anything that could ideologically be hacked at, it is hard to see just where further cuts can come from and we have Brexit at the end of the year to throw into the mix so as bumpy as this ride is at the moment, it could be about to get a whole lot bumpier once we emerge from our homes back into the World once again.

Could Nicotine Be The Solution To Covid-19?

It is understandable why some countries are putting all their resources into finding a vaccination to end the Covid-19 outbreak but as well as saving lives, it will make a fortune for the country that develops it first and it seems that the UK is currently leading the race with Jenner Institute scientists at Oxford University saying they are 'extraordinarily confident' that their vaccine against the Coronavirus will work and it will be ready by September.
Their confidence is built on this vaccine technology being a modified version of the vaccine that is already working against other Coronavirus MERS and Ebola.
Named Chaddox-one, the clinical trials are already underway with an initial 500 volunteers before being scaled up to 5,000 people and offering it to healthcare workers on the front line, who are at the greater risk but such is their confidence that they are already in discussions with manufacturers to make the required billions of doses the world needs.
In other developments, a report from France has tentatively suggested that early data from a small group of Coronavirus victims indicate that those who smoke and need hospital treatment make up a disproportionately small number of people in hospital with COVID-19, just 4.4% and figures from hospitals in Paris show that of around 11,000 patients treated in hospital for COVID-19, 8.5% were smokers.
The science is that Nicotine protects against the virus by preventing it reaching the body's cells and the nicotine prevents the immune system going into overdrive due to the infection, as has been seen among some of the worst-affected cases.
The French Health Officials are suitably impressed to trial handing nicotine patches to Coronavirus patients and healthcare workers treating infected people. 
Neurobiologist Jean-Pierre Changeux, who has reviewed the work, speculated that coupled with a Chinese study of more than 1,000 infected people which found the proportion of infected smokers was 12.6%, they could be onto something although he did warn that smoking related deaths in France are around 75,000 each year so whatever the French words for frying pans and fires, be warned.
I am going to order my next load of Nicotine for my vape very soon because e-liquid could very soon become the new toilet roll.

Special Guest Blogger: Charles de Gaulle

I was the leader of the French resistance in World War II, founder of the French Fifth Republic and one of the most notorious Presidents in the history of France with 31 attempts to assassinate me.
Despite the ever-present threat of death, i remained a man of the people, constantly appearing in public and surviving someone trying to shoot me during a rendition of La Marseillaise, dodging a huge bomb exploding in the road ahead of my car and even lived through several cars full of shooters with machine guns, grenades and Molotov cocktails attacking my convoy.
Despite the stories, the French Resistance didn't actually do all that much resisting, the French people seemed to be totally okay with the Nazi leadership they now had and we had a problem of scraping together enough soldiers to build a halfway effective army.
When it became clear that the actual French weren't interested in making too much of a fuss, i decided to reach further afield, bringing in hardcore colonial fighters from the French territories in Africa.
My new Free French Army kicked an epic amount of derrier that you don't usually associate with the French and began to march into Paris to deliver a hefty kick to Hitler's balls.
Only we didn't get as far as Paris as the British and Americans allies said, hang on, we have an image to uphold and it would be far better for our people to watch Paris liberated by square-jawed, chiseled Aryan superheroes than a ragtag bunch of African natives and before i was granted permission by America and Britain to take back my own country, i had to scramble to find enough white people to replace anyone in my army who failed the whiteness test.
Unfortunately, despite almost dying so many times, i couldn't hide from death's cold embrace forever and i died watching The High Chaparral on the television at home, Ben Cartwright and his family doing what Hitler and my wannabe assassins failed at so many times.

Wednesday, 22 April 2020

Special Guest Blogger: Lord Frederick North

I expect you looked at my name and thought who's he which is exactly how i like it because i was the British Prime Minister from 1770 until 1782 and during my period i was known as the Prime Minister who lost America, but as King George III seems to get blamed for that, i'm happily forgotten.
I took over as leader just as Great Britain had began to expand it's Empire, taking in vast new territories on several continents but we were having a bit of a problem with the American colonies, Boston especially where they threw our tea into the harbour so i introduced the Coercive Act that were supposed to punish the Bostonians by shutting down the Boston government and cutting off trade to cool their heels.
Instead it rather backfired and inflamed all the other colonies and war broke out and we were doing well, handing the colonist's their arses until the French, Spanish and Dutch stuck their big fat oars in and we were fighting on two fronts, at home and abroad.
I took the decision to concentrate our forces on defending the West Indies as their sugar wealth made them more valuable to Great Britain than the thirteen colonies but our lack of manpower on mainland America began to tell.
Parliament was all for fighting on in America but as the war turned against us, the support frittered away and they blamed me and forced me out of office by a motion of no confidence so i had to resign and there was even talk around bringing me to trial for how i conducted the American War so poorly.
The good news for me was that it is King George who gets the bad rep for losing America when in reality he was indifferent to whether we kept it or not, on hearing thsat it had gained it independence he said: "I have always said, as I say now, that I would be the first to meet the friendship of the United States as an independent power' but nobody remebers that or me, just that he was a complete barnpot and was the King who lost America while i'm just the little known Tory Prime Minister sandwiched between The Duke of Grafton and the Marquess of Rockingham. Sweet!

Tuesday, 21 April 2020

Branson's £500m

The Government showed an amazing amount of restraint today when a multi-billionaire tax exile for the past 14 years asked for a £500 million government bailout of his Virgin Atlantic airline.
Rather than replying with just two words, the second being 'Off', the Government just ignored him and carried on trying to explain how a shipment of PPE which they guaranteed would be here on Sunday was still in a warehouse in Turkey.
Richard Branson, a man who once sued the NHS for losing out on a contract, has already seen his Virgin Australia airline enter voluntary administration after the Australian Government stamped 'REFUSED' on a request for a £710m from their taxpayers and the British taxpayers are unlikely to be moved by his reason for living in the Tax Haven that is the British Virgin Islands is due to 'liking the weather' as he explained yesterday.
As the Government balked at a £100m loan of taxpayer funds for the airline Flybe, and with a looming economic crisis which nobody wants to think about, it is unlikely that someone who is worth £4 billion, lives in a tax haven and sued the darlings of the people is going to get a different answer to the one he got from the Aussies but if the Government have got money to spare and the choice is spending on nurses down to their last set of gowns or on Dicky Branson down to his last island, not difficult to know where to spend it.

Special Guest Blogger: Henry Ford

My car company gave me an accumulated wealth of $200 billion and i could afford all the best food and wines but i did have a penchant for eating weeds, my good friend and famous botanist George Washington Carver and i would regularly eat sandwiches stuffed with random weeds, freshly plucked straight from the ground.
I popularised the motor car with my simple and cheap Model T, in black of course due to black paint drying quicker and in 19 years we sold 15,007,034 of them. 
I also introduced the 40-hour week which is now standard but i was foremost a pacifist and oppossed American entry into WW1 and WW2 although that didn't stop me turning a neat profit by building war machines for both sides.
It's no secret that i had a certain amount of sympathy for the Nazi leader, mainly due to my belief that anyone who hated the Jews that much must have been an okay kind of guy.
At the time many prominent Americans praised Hitler and it was the ones who continued to think the sun shone out of his Arsch when we realised he was more than a little warmongery but i was a little late to that game, continuing to throw money at the German Fuhrer's side for eight months after the U.S. had entered the war.
I was foremost a businessman and Ford-Werke, my German subsidiary, remained operational throughout the war, happily manufacturing gear for the German military machine and using POWs as forced labor, those Panzers didn't just make themselves you know and Jewish POW's were cheap.
Hitler's Anti-Semitic views were actually partly inspired by me, as owner of the Dearborn Independent, my editorials included headlines such as 'The Jews are the scavengers of the world' and 'Wherever there's anything wrong with a country, you'll find the Jews on the job there', i was particularly proud of that one.
Hitler loved my journalistic efforts and even directly lifted some of my musings for his own book Mein Kampf, especially the ideas that the Jews were mentally defective and the World was at risk of succumbing to Jewish domination.
I would like to think that as the Jews never gained World domination, i played a significant role in that as well so let that be my legacy.

Monday, 20 April 2020

Royals, Tabloids, Piers Morgan

As i don't care a flying fig for the Royals and care about as much for the British tabloids, i am really not bothered either way about the latest uproar with Harry and Meghan now saying they will not be engaging with The Sun, Mirror, Express or Mail newspapers and their Sunday counterparts in future but at least it is a distraction from the Coronavirus news.
There has been a long running battle between the couple and the papers and this Friday is the first hearing in their case against The Mail who have a pathetically weak excuse for publishing extracts of a letter Meghan wrote to her father and will be hopefully taken to the cleaners by the Royals.
Self appointed twat, Piers Morgan, is leading the crusade against the couple, this morning calling their decision 'egotistical' and labeling them 'a pair of repulsive, deluded narcissistic tools'.
As a repulsive, deluded narcissistic tool himself he would know but it wasnt that long ago he tweeted she was 'perfect princess material' and 'a lovely lady; smart, warm, funny and more than a match for Prince Harry' so what happened?
Seems Piers and Meghan were pals on Social Media back in the days before she met Harry and then after she came to England and they went for a drink together and then, in his words, 'I never heard from her again. Not a word. I'd been ghosted'.
So the reason he hates her and has carried out a nasty and sustained campaign against her is because she hurt his feelings but if he didn't want her to know just how much of a repulsive tool he actually is, he shouldn't have met her and kept it on Social Media. 
Anyway, Royals, British Tabloids, Piers Morgan...hopefully the squabble between them may mean they all just go away.

Oh Boy

It's significant that most of the protesters at the Demonstrations against the lock-down in America are waving Trump flags, never the sharpest tools in the box to start with and what's the link with being a Trump supporter and facial hair?
It's one thing to protest against your Governor trying to keep you safe from dying and stopping you from infecting and possibly killing your own friends and family, but why would you turn up on the protest with semi-automatic weapons?  
Protest by all means, it makes you look like an ignorant idiot but the USA is almost a free country and all that but turn up armed and you look like an idiot and a dangerous crackpot but at least if you are going to turn up holding a 'Covid-19 is a lie' sign, don't wear head-to-toe protective gear, it kind of detracts from your message.

As we are on the subject of nutjob Americans with guns, was nice to read that last month was the first March without a school shooting in America for 18 years, i think they may have cracked how to stop school mass shootings, don't ban guns, ban kids going to school.
The NRA are probably getting the leaflets printed out already. 

Special Guest Blogger: Princess Diana

There was one day in May 1993 when i had a bit of a scare when I wasn't in one of the papers at all but I picked up a bit later on by tipping them all off that i was making a 'surprise' visit to a children's hospital.
It was difficult when i split with Prince Charles and was thrown out of the Royal Family, not as difficult as explaining to the kids why that Gilbert guy kept referring to me as Squidgy in that telephone call though.
It was not easy learning to cope on my own, for years if i needed something doing Charles would call for the butler or maid to do it and now I had to shout for them myself.
There is a lot to sort out when a family splits up including access to the children, one of us had to see them at the weekends and that was my prime ski-ing time and then there was the question of money and i had to start earning some.
While i was looking for something useful to do to earn some cash it was suggested that there were plenty of marvelous charities around so i asked them but they didn't give me anything.
I went out with some rich men instead but there was one man who just didn't have enough money to attract even me, Donald J Trump, but even after bombarding me with massive bouquets of flowers, him and his itsy bitsy tiny hands were not getting anywhere near this Princess.
After i died in a tunnel under Paris, it was said that the driver of the doomed limousine was on the payroll of some intelligence agency and others maintain that a mysterious white Fiat Uno played a part in the fatal crash.
Others still claim that the driver was deliberately blinded with a bright flash or i was assassinated by the royals to silence me but the truth is the driver was as pickled as a herring and subway walls are hard and the bodies inside fast moving cars are not.
My story therefore is one of finding my Prince, having lots of affairs and living separately from him ever after.

Sunday, 19 April 2020

UK Government Coming Under Fire

It is fair to say that the UK Governments response to the outbreak of the Coronavirus has been woefully inadequate, made even worse that we had the heads up from China, Italy, France and Spain what was coming our way but the unwritten rule has been that while the crisis is ongoing, criticism of the Government has been minimal but the news breaking today of how the Prime Minister skipped the first five COBRA Meetings, seems to have changed all that.
On 31 Dec, after being advised by the Chinese Government, the World Health Organisation sent a report to Global Health Officials with the highest level of alert and convened a conference calls with all Global Health Leaders on January 7th and issued technical guidance notes on January 10th with detailed clinical criteria for dealing with the virus including isolation.
It was on Jan 29 that the had its first two confirmed cases of the disease, the day before the WHO declares a 'public health emergency of international concern' calling on all governments to pursue containment.
On March 3 the Prime Minister tells a press conference: 'I was at a hospital the other night where I think there were actually a few Coronavirus patients and I shook hands with everybody, you’ll be pleased to know, and I continue to shake hands' and that: 'we should be going about our business as usual'.
On 16 March, 66 days after the WHO guidance, Boris Johnson said that 'cafes, nightclubs, theaters, cinemas, gyms and leisure centers, pubs, bars and restaurants should close as soon as they reasonably can' after the Imperial College publishes a report that under the Governments current directions, the virus could kill 250,000 people.
On March 18, 68 Days after being told to isolate by WHO, the Government announced the closure of all schools until further noticed and Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, the WHO’s director-general, singles out the UK for knowing since that first report from China that COVID-19 was a lethal illness 'Yet they did too little, too late'. Richard Horton of the Lancet says: 'Something has gone badly wrong in the way the UK has handled COVID-19'.
73 Days after receiving the WHO guidance, on March 23rd, Boris Johnson announces British lock-down.
As of today 19 April 2020, more than 120,067 cases of COVID-19 had been confirmed in the U.K. and the virus had killed more than 16,060, the fifth highest fatalities in the World so something did go very badly wrong and the finger is now being pointed firmly at Boris Johnson and his Government.

Special Guest Blogger: Paul Revere

I began out as a silversmith and dentist and was a ring leader in the Boston Tea Party where the British Tea consignment floated away down the Boston River but it was after i began working as a courier, traveling to New York and Philadelphia to report on the political unrest in Boston that i found fame.
My Legend is that of a late night, horse riding patriot who warned that the British were invading by galloping from village to village, warning all the locals to get tooled up and prepare for a fight.
The truth is that Henry Wadsworth Longfellow took a few liberties and embellished the story somewhat in his poem.
As my surname 'Revere' rhymes with 'hear', i got top billing and as i was trying to keep my dash secret and not alert the British, screaming the 'British are coming' at the top of my lungs when a section of the population were loyal to the British Crown would have been an excellent way to get my chops busted after the first or second time i yelled it so it was more of a whisper to a few men i thought i could trust.
Then there is the distance covered, far too much for one man which is why there was 40 of us in relay whispering it behind our hands to each other.
Another thing that failed to make the poem was how we took a break from starting America by stopping at pubs for some liquid refreshment on the way, at one pub some British sentries questioned me and i surrendered while my colleague, Sam Prescott, rode on to the next town.
In reality, of the 40 people involved in the operation, i was the only one to get caught and surrender although i was later released but because my name is easier to rhyme, Americans celebrate my achievements instead of the guys who actually completed their section of the rides.
So because Longfellow's poetry was not too hot, and his rhyming skills went to pot so rather than try to rhyme anything with Prescott he went for the easy shot but it makes me look good so tough luck Sam, history belongs to those with better rhyming surnames.

Saturday, 18 April 2020

Science Based On Four Monkeys

I'm no medical person, what i know about medicine would only fit on the padded bit of a plaster if you used a very large font but i have my concerns over the overwhelming reasoning that once you have been infected with Covid-19, you are immune and can safely go back to doing whatever it was you was doing before March.
The UK government has bought 3.5 million tests which measure levels of raised antibodies in the blood which the body uses to fight the virus and therefore giving the person immunity from being re-infected but nobody actually knows if there is immunity and if there is, how long it is for.
The World Health Organisation has warned there is no evidence that people who have had Covid-19 cannot be infected again and there have been some reports of people in South Korea, China and Japan, who had been given the all-clear after having Covid-19 but then tested positive for the virus a second time although it may be that the initial tests used were faulty.
Early signs from small animal experiments in China show Macaques monkeys exposed to the virus who recovered had antibodies to the virus in their bloodstream but it seems a bit of a leap to be basing the whole process of exposing billions of people to possible infection based on the results from four Chinese monkeys.
NewScientist magazine point out that there are other Coronaviruses circulating among humans and although they induce immunity, this is relatively short-lived, at around three months.
I understand the keenness to get people back to work and reopen the economy, my other worry is just how draconian the UK Governments response will be for an economy that is being worse hit than the 2008 economic crash, but with 155,000 deaths Worldwide, 14,476 in the UK, the first priority has to be making sure that gruesome number doesn't increase by much more until we know for certain that returning workers are immune, and if they are, for how long.

Special Guest Blogger: Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg

Towards the end of WWII, when things were rapidly going downhill for the German nation, a conspiracy was hatched by us more humane Nazi officers to assassinate Hitler and overthrow his government, a plot we called Operation Valkyrie.
My brother and i planned to use a suitcase bomb to blow Hilter into little biddy sauerkraut pieces but not only Hitler but Hermann Goering and Heinrich Himmler as well during one of our weekly military strategy meetings but it was almost impossible to get all three together in the same room at the same time so each week i would end up carrying a suitcase of explosives back out of the room with me again.
I finally gave up the plan to get them all together and decided i would just blow up Hitler anyway and exploded a bomb inside Hitler's conference room with a remote detonator but Hitler had extraordinary damage absorption abilities and survived with only minor injuries.
When the explosion tore through the hut, four people were killed but Hitler himself was shielded from the blast by the heavy, solid-oak conference table leg, which i had stupidly placed the briefcase bomb behind, doh!
I fled when i saw he was explosion-proof but some of my fellow conspirators, realising that the Fuhrer was not as forgiving as his fiery public speeches and penchant for genocide led us to believe, they either committed suicide, or handed themselves in and named everyone involved to save their own skin.
For my involvement i was executed by firing squad and my brother, Berthold, was given a truly breath-taking execution, they strangled and then revived him multiple times with the entire scene filmed for Hitler to view at his leisure.

Friday, 17 April 2020

Get Your Act Together G5 Conspiracy Theorists

This Coronavirus conspiracy theory is a bit confusing as the people pushing it don't seem to be able to agree on how it is spreading the virus or why.
One woman i spoke to today said it was created by the Chinese government as germ warfare, another said it's part of a human depopulation scheme led by Bill Gates but they all agree that 5G is evil and must be stopped.
How 5G is spreading Coronavirus is by either confusing or slowing the bodies healing process as the body is unable to lcope with the new signals wavelength frequencies or by sucking the oxygen out of peoples lungs or other ones i heard are that 5G suppresses the immune and the viruses, somehow, can communicate through radio waves. 
One 'fact' i was told was that the health effects of electromagnetic radiation, are exactly the same as the symptoms of COVID-19 and Italy’s high infection rate is because the country has the most 5G-enabled cities in Western Europe.
My personal favourite is the theory that it's a global depopulation campaign by the leaders of the New World Order with Bill Gates at the top who is apparently orchestrating a depopulation campaign although it gets a little hazy why, something to do with creating a vaccine which doubles as a way to track the entire human population.
When asked why so many doctors and scientists and even the World Health Organisation have dismissed the theory as mad, the theorists roll their eyes and say: 'Of course they would, they are in on it along with the Media and Politicians'.
'The media is dismissing it as a conspiracy theory to cover it up' said one man who refused to give his name, 'That indicates we are on the right path'.
On a path somewhere certainly but maybe they should all get together and agree on a how and why because otherwise there is the chance that most people with more than three working brain-cells in their head will think they are idiots.

Coronavirus, COVID-19 and SARS-CoV-2

A lot can be confusing during a pandemic, including the virus names and the language we use to talk it with many media reports using 'Coronavirus', 'COVID-19' and 'SARS-CoV-2' interchangeably but one is the family of Virus's, one is this particular Virus and one is the disease caused.
A Coronavirus refers to a group of viruses that are known to cause respiratory issues and make the jump from animals to humans (Zoonotic) with this one suspected to have come from bats and before it was named it was referred to as a 'Novel Coronavirus' which just means it is a new strain that has not been previously identified in humans.
The Virus was named by the International Committee on Taxonomy of Viruses (ICTV) as
Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome COronaVirus 2 or (SARS-CoV-2).
The disease named by the World Health Organisation (WHO) is COronaVIrus Disease (or COVID for short) and it was discovered in 2019 so it became COVID-19.

So just as Human Immunodeficiency Viruses (HIV) is the virus that causes Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome or AIDS, a Coronavirus called SARS-CoV-2 infects the human with  a disease called COVID-19.

Special Guest Blogger: James Madison

I was the fourth, and shortest, President of the United States and hailed as the "Father of the Constitution" for my pivotal role in drafting and promoting the Constitution of the United States and the United States Bill of Rights, co-founding the Democratic-Republican Party but probably my longest lasting contribution was inserting the second amendment into the Constitution, i was only 5'4" so had to compensate somehow!
I was always very suspicious of the British so insisted on a clause that: 'A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed'.
The problem was that the British never invaded again and Americans just ignored the well regulated bit and went on collecting bigger and more dangerous weapons and with a lack of British soldiers to aim at, they began blowing big holes in each other instead but i maintain that the real tragedy is guns get a bad name by the gun nuts going on mass killing sprees.
Some say collecting machines capable of killing each other is a rather perverse hobby but to me it's just like stamp collecting with the only difference being instead of small pieces of sticky paper, we collect large and dangerous military grade weapons.
I say to the people who want to abolish gun clubs that they are ruining things for the responsible gun owning lunatics of America and how dare they try and take away my second amendment right to keep powerful killing machines in my own home and around my family if i want, as if their right to not be blown to bits in a school or while innocently going about their business is more important than mine.
Some people have tried to say that i am to blame for the massive amount of resulting gun deaths by introducing the second amendment in the first place but there is no danger of me ever being found responsible, because i was very irresponsible.

Thursday, 16 April 2020

Special Guest Blogger: Andy Warhol

I began out as drawing advertising art, my first commission had been to draw shoes for Glamour magazine before i found fame but my art wasn't just limited to drawing the same picture of a soup tin over and over again although i was a huge soup fan and ate tomato soup every single day, my specialty was priming a canvas with copper-based paint, and then urinating on it. Piss yellow is such a pretty colour.
I worked across a wide range of media including painting, photography, drawing, and sculpture and in addition, i was a highly prolific filmaker and made more than 60 films with one of my most famous films, 'Sleep', showing poet John Giorno sleeping for six hours.
The 35-minute film 'Blow Job' is one continuous shot of the face of DeVeren Bookwalter receiving oral sex and my epic 'Empire' consists of eight hours of footage of the Empire State Building and 'Eat' consists of a man eating a bloody huge mushroom for 45 minutes.
I did have an eccentric personality and also obsessive traits bordering on autism, i purchased the same brand of green cotton underpants over and over again.
My famous soup cans painting kinda backfired as i was trying to create something mundane and meaningless but i actually created one of the most famous pictures ever, go figure the crazy art world.
A radical feminist writer shot me and i was wounded and barely survived and suffered physical effects for the rest of my life, including being required to wear a surgical corset.
It was another surgery, this time a standard gallbladder operation which killed me, dying from a sudden post-operative irregular heartbeat leaving behind lots of tins of uneaten tomato soup and more green underpants than anyone could ever wear.

Wednesday, 15 April 2020

Press Journalists Facing Career Change

Journalists may be one of the Governments designated key workers so it is ironic that the biggest threat to their career choice comes at a time when there is a heightened interest in the news.
Prior to the Coronavirus pandemic, there were several ominous trends in the newspaper industry with declining sales but now they are not only facing print copies being returned unsold as customers stay at home but also a sharp decrease in advertisers as businesses and events shut down due to quarantines and significantly cut back or stop their newspaper advertising.
National newspaper sales fell over a fifth between the middle and end of March according to the Financial Times.
Many of the UK’s biggest print media groups have announced emergency measures with some local newspapers suspending issues and the Daily Mirror, Express and Star cutting pay and putting staff on leave.
The Financial Times, Guardian, Daily Mail, Metro, Evening Standard and Mail Online is asking staff to take pay cuts and some are considering becoming digital-only models, following in the footsteps of the Independent which stopped producing a physical newspaper.
Those companies who are still advertising have refused to allow their brands from appearing alongside articles about Coronavirus and as anyone who has picked up a newspaper recently can tell you, that's pretty much the only story in town at the moment.
Even Britain's top selling newspaper, the Sun, has been begging people to buy its rag again which it points out, costs less than a cup of coffee although the self-description of it 'providing a lifeline of trusted information for millions' is pushing it a bit, especially as has a £68m hole in it's accounts for it's previous hacking indiscretions.
To show solidarity with my fellow journalists i say buy a newspaper, just make it a decent one but if you get to the newsagents and the only one on the shelf is The Sun, enjoy your coffee and watch the BBC instead.

Transcript: White House WHO Funding Meeting

Don't ask me how but i have got the transcript of the Oval Office meeting between Donald Trump and Mike Pence where the decision to stop funding the World Health Organisation was taken.

TRUMP: Hey Mike, We have the best numbers, better than China's, the most coronavirus in the world. Its a beautiful virus...'
Pence: Sir, tens of thousands are dying and they are blaming you
TRUMP: Me? I didn't do nothing
Pence: That's the problem sir, we told you on the 4th January and you didn't do anything until 31 January when you banned foreigners flying in from some parts of China
TRUMP: Damn those Chinese, can't we blame them?

Pence: Difficult Sir, you said The United States greatly appreciates their efforts and transparency in fighting Coronavirus and thanked President Xi.
TRUMP: Damn Mike, it's election year, i can't be seen to be incompetent. Can we blame Obama somehow?
Pence: Tough Sir as you binned the National Security Council's pandemic response team he set up.
TRUMP: Hell Mike, help me out here, what about the World Health Organisation?
Pence: We could say they were slow to warn us about it Sir
TRUMP: When did they tell us?
Pence: The same day they found out
TRUMP: Hmmm, so by not telling us quicker they failed in there basic duty and must be held accountable
Pence: Therefore wrecking the American economy in the process, brilliant Sir
TRUMP: Do you think the American public will believe us Mike? Maybe we need a video pointing out all the bits where i look good and like i was doing something other than playing golf and watching Fox News.
Pence: We could make a video Sir, though we will have to edit out the bits where you called it a hoax, said it was like the flu and that it will just go away
TRUMP: Do it Mike and announce we will stop funding the WHO just to drive home how it's all their fault.
Pence: Do you really think during a global health emergency this is the time to withdraw American funding from the organization whose job it is to fight global health emergencies?
TRUMP: Sure! Cheer Up Mike, we got Health insurance and the next election is in the bag
Pence: I find it hard to believe the voters are stupid enough to give us another term
TRUMP: Fox News is always interviewing bankrupt small business owners, workers recently made redundant, homeowners facing eviction and people with no Health Insurance and they are still wearing Vote Trump hats. 

Pence : Stupid, stupid, stupid,
TRUMP: Exactly, now keep Melania busy for 20 minutes and send in that hot nurse in the short skirt to take my temperature and lock the door behind you.

Special Guest Blogger: Catherine The Great

As a powerful and uncompromising woman, i made many enemies who put around nasty rumours about me, especially regarding my sex life in order to sully my reputation. One such rumour contended that i was a nymphomaniac who was so difficult to satisfy in the sack that i died while trying to have sex with a horse.
Sure, i liked getting the bone on as much as the next person, if the next person is Stormy Daniels or Jenna Jameson, and as i got older i went for younger and younger guys so in many ways i was the original cougar.
You don't get to be called 'The Great' just sleeping with any Tom, Dick or Ivor, once i noticed a new hot guy, i would have my doctor check him out to see if he had any STDs, and i would get my advisors to find out his politics and so i didn't want to waste time on someone who was a dud in the sack, i had one of my ladies-in-waiting, Countess Praskovya Aleksandrovna Bruce, take him for a test drive first.
During my reign, i never had to endure a cold bed and if they were up to my particular high standards, i would reward them with land, money and titles, Grigory Potemkin went from a common Guardsman to a General in one glorious baby oil filled afternoon.
One guy who wanted to be the King of Poland even got Poland after i invaded it and put him on the throne, what a night that must have been, who needs a bloody stallion when during the height of passion, you are with a man who can get you to invade a country and make him King!
So no horses involved in my death unfortunately and i died aged 67 of a stroke in bed screaming and thrashing about wildly which to be fair, was very close to how i had spent the previous 50 years anyway.

Tuesday, 14 April 2020


A US pastor who defied social-distancing rules to host large congregations and said that: 'God is larger than this dreaded virus', has died after contracting Coronavirus.
As he has sadly found out too late, when you are ill there is a reason why you are taken to a hospital and not a Church.

Andrew Cuomo, The Man The USA Needs

I have only seen the low-lights of Trumps train wreck of a briefing from yesterday but it is great to see the American media finally grow a spine and push back on his lies and misdirection's regarding the Coronavirus outbreak. 
He ended up looking even more laughably ridiculous than normal and that is no mean feat considering the things the nut had said previously and i am sure that there are some Americans who will still stand by him, every nation has its useful idiots who are too gullible, naive or just plain stupid to see what everyone else can but that is their look out but someone i am more and more impressed with is New York Govenor, Andrew Cuomo.
I know a bunch of New Yorker's and he is the typical stereotypical ballsy New Yorker with a record that includes legalising same-sex marriage, campaigns for fighting climate change, introduced the strictest gun control law in the U.S, expanded Medicaid, raised taxes for the wealthy and lowered taxes for the middle class and increased the minimum wage so immediately he sounds a good guy.
Andrew Cuomo has been the voice of calm and reason whilst the President has been become more and more unhinged and immature as the criticism grows and one poll put Coumo’s handling of the outbreak at 87% approval with New Yorker's.
While America needs someone articulate, factual, empathetic, honest, blunt and a leader they have the walking, talking joke that is Trump, they could do much worse then look at Cuomo to take over and restore America's badly tattered reputation and the Democrats must now be looking at Joe Biden with an air of buyer's remorse.

Special Guest Blogger: King George VI

I attended the Royal Naval College and came bottom of the class in the final examination, but despite this i progressed to the Royal Naval College, Dartmouth which surprised many as i should have flunked out.
It would appear that the heads of department discussed my merits and decided that i was certainly very much a member of the royal family and particularly liked my Prince George quality and noticed that i was a very impressive next in line to the throne.
My background of my father being the King of England proved that i showed promise but when they made a film of my life, the main focus was on my horrible stutter which was made worse by the stresses of being a British royal and have a dickish older brother, Edward.
He not only had a hard on for Hitler and his Nazi's but met him and he dined with Rudolf Hess and openly talked about overthrowing me after Adolf won the War so no surprise i had a bloody stutter.
I was friends with Neville Chamberlain and supported him when he returned from that Munich meeting and waved a piece of paper around declaring peace in our time with the Fuhrer and thought Winston Churchill a grotty little pisshead but in the end Churchill took over and i had to work with the drunken idiot.
Truth is i never wanted to be King and only took over once Edward jacked it in to go off with his American floosy and my daughter seems to have made a decent fist of it after i died and her Grandchildren, Harry especially, is a man after my own heart and if i knew that buggering off to Canada instead of being a Royal was an option, i would have done so also.

Monday, 13 April 2020

Releasing The Lock Down

It was always optimistic that the Government lock down would be ended anytime soon and although they haven't said as much, they have hinted they will be extending it for another three weeks but eventually they will have to bring us all back blinking into the sunlight but the question is how will they do it.
Release the lock down too early and they risk a second wave and the massive effort people have made across the country is wasted as we revert back to the position we was in mid-March.
The Government thinking seems to be wide scale testing with those who have had the disease, and have some immunity to it, being released to go back to work but 67 million tests when they have only managed a fraction so far, that is a tall order.
The Governments original idea of Herd Immunity, when large portions of the country suffer the disease and then recover depriving the virus of fresh bodies to infect was heavily criticised but one solution being considered is to have a cycle of lockdowns and short-term releases until either a vaccine is discovered or the required number of infectees have been reached but with that comes a large death toll of the elderly and vulnerable which is why the tactic was dismissed in the first place.  
There has been a suggestion that those who have had the virus be issued with 'immunity certificates' allowing them to return to normal life but that opens the door to people exposing themselves to the virus so they can get back to normal life.
The only real solution is a vaccination but as that is 18 months away, the Government has some hard decisions to make.

Final Twist Of The Knife From Covid-19

As the sadly increasing numbers of the dead over the last 24 hours get read out at the Government daily briefings, it is hard sometimes to connect the figures with actual people, 717 today for the grim total of 11,329 people whose lives have been taken by the Coronavirus in the UK.
Someone in my block died recently and their funeral was today, i did not know them but i watched from the balcony as the hearse drew up to a small crowd, obediently spaced out, and then left again followed by a single car containing one person leaving the weeping crowd to disperse.
As if this disease is not cruel enough, when it has finished it's dastardly work and the body has ceased living, the funeral is an additional knife in the heart for the family and friends who are unable to attend the final send off.  
It is heartbreaking to think of those numbers, buried with a solitary mourner, their families robbed not only of their loved one but also the chance to say goodbye.

Special Guest Blogger: Joan Crawford

In my life i had four weddings including one to notorious lothario Douglas Fairbanks Jr but it is hard being married to somebody who thinks about nothing but sex, sex, sex morning noon and night seven days a week and not many people could handle a marriage like that, he certainly couldn't and none of my other three husbands could either.
I was never the sort of person to wait around for the casting couch to come to me, i took my own with me wherever i went. When Vincent Sherman was auditioning for his upcoming movie, The Damned Don't Cry, i invited him over to check out some of my previous work, and a few other things which worked because i got the role.
I had a rough upbringing and set out to take Hollywood any way i could, which often meant using a short skirt, low cut top and my feminine wiles to procure the best roles. On my bedpost were notches alongside the names of Clark Gable, Spencer Tracy and countless other less famous Hollywood types who gave me a leg up, leg down, leg sideways and all leg positions inbetween.
There was another less glamorous side to my fame. One of my adopted children, Christina, penned a book titled 'Mommie Dearest' which was a scathing tale of my vicious, abusive alcoholism and how i would sabotage the careers of prettier, more able rivals, especially Bette Davis who i had a long running feud with after she said that my eyebrows were like 'African caterpillars' and said i had slept with 'every male star at MGM, except Lassie'. What a bitch.
The book painted me as an intensely jealous aging actress who given to egotistical fits and embarked on affairs to try and stay relevant and a raging alcoholic using my rider of demanding a case of Pepsi be provided which doesn't prove my alcoholism.
The vodka, bourbon, Scotch, gin and two bottles of champagne i demanded with it doesn't look good i admit but i made it to 71 before dying of a heart attack and leaving behind 80 motion pictures and a headboard with more famous names on it then the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Sunday, 12 April 2020

UK Death's Top 10,000

Sadly, another 737 people have died with Coronavirus in UK hospitals, taking the total to 10,612 according to  the Department of Health and the Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies (SAGE), who ate also saying that the UK could end up being the 'worst affected country in Europe from Coronavirus', outstripping the death rate seen in other badly-hit countries such as Italy and Spain.
They also suggested a vaccine might be available this autumn but, until one is available, it was 'probably inevitable that a second and third wave of Coronavirus would occur' and a vaccine is the only true exit strategy from this.
The Public Health England (PHE) have also said that the number of people dying with COVID-19 could be double what the public is being told as official counts are not including deaths outside hospitals, such as those in the community or in care homes.
In March, the Imperial College London team said the number of deaths could reach 260,000 in the UK with no restrictions on movement, but they hoped to get this down to 20,000 with the lock down strategy and the UK currently sits fifth in the grim table of Covid 19 deaths behind United States (21,411), Italy (19,899), Spain (16,972) and France (13,832).
The Government have quite rightly faced criticism that they were far too slow to introduce measures to slow the spread, finally acting weeks after some in Europe on March 23rd with Italy became the first European country to lock down it's citizens on 9th March, Spain 14 March and France 17 March.
The Government have said that we are at the peak of infections but the deaths will continue for up to a further two weeks by which time the toll doesn't bear thinking about, especially if the death toll is currently being under-reported and this is not the time to look back and apportion blame, there will be plenty of time for that once its all over and this Government will have a massive reckoning coming.

Special Guest Blogger: Benito Mussolini

Ciao, as i gave the World Fascism it warms my heart to see that it is currently going through something of a resurgance. The downside is that it is now being run by the likes of the Republicans in America and the Conservatives in the UK, two countries who i did so much to introduce it back in the 30s and 40s and two countries who are currently being run by idiots who are sure to give my Facism a bad name.
I began life as journalist and i was a proper journalist, following the golden journalist mantra of What, When, Why, Where and Who all the way through my political career so it was What are black people doing in my country, Who wants a Black Shirt, When are we invading France, Where are you taking me and finally Why are you looking for a lampost?
The strange thing is that initially i offered to join forces with Britain and France to take on Hitlers Germany and we even signed the Easter Accords Agreements for peaceful coexistence but me ordering the killing of hundreds of thousands of Libyans and Ethiopians to make room for Italian colonists didn't go down well with them so i threw in my lot with Hitler's Nazi's instead.
It is said that i was one of the strictest men alive and everything had to be perfect and efficient including the trains so the saying that at least i made the trains run on time is true, mainly due to executing the conductor in front of the train staff if they were even as much as a minute late, nothing like a bullet in the brain to improve timekeeping. 
I did enjoy drinking milk and cookies but the cookies made me hyperactive, and no one wants a bouncy dictator and milk and cookies isn't necessarily the diet of mass murdering fascists but i suffered from chronic stomach pain, and the only thing that brought me relief was drinking gallons of milk although all that milk forced me to be bedridden with constipation and an inflamed liver.
I weaned myself off the milk and went on to lead the Italian forces in North Africa only for the Italian Forces to be terrible fighters and in defeat i ended up murdered and dangling upside-down from a lampost.

Saturday, 11 April 2020

Trump Blames WHO & China- What He Knew & When Timeline (Short Read)

Under pressure for his actions in the United States as the Coronavirus death toll rises alarmingly, the US President Donald Trump has tried to deflect the blame onto China and the World Health Organization (WHO) for being too slow to sound the alarm in its tackling of the pandemic, saying 'The WHO really blew it' although in response the WHO has rejected the Trump criticisms and released it's reports showing the timeline of events revealing who knew what and when.

On 31 December 2019, China alerted the World Health Organisation who reported it to Global Health Officials on the same day, the USA National Security Council was informed and 3 days later Donald Trump was advised in his Daily Briefings.

Taking the 4th of January as the day Donald Trump was alerted, he was then warned 6 days later by the WHO that there was a global threat and they suggested isolation procedures to curb the spread.

17 days later on January 21st the first reported case of Covid-19 in the US.

January 28th, 24 days later, the President is urged act to prevent an Epidemic and to build a team for the issuing of medical supplies and on Day 25 is warned that the Government should be developing a containment strategy, a call backed up by the WHO on January 30th who declared a 'public health emergency of international concern' repeating their earlier call for all governments to pursue containment and testing. The same Day US medics warned about a critical shortage of Personal Protective Equipment (PPE).

29 Days after becoming aware, US Health Officials call on the administration to dramatically expand testing and on Day 30 Intelligence officials advised the Trump administration they would need to take containment actions that could disrupt Americans daily lives.

61 Days after being told by the WHO, and 35 days after being told there is a shortage of PPE, the Health and Human Services System tell the Government that they need equipment and have 1% of the respirator masks needed.

On March 16th, 67 days after being advised by WHO to isolate citizens, the Trump administration advocates social distancing and school closures to slow the spread of the contagion and on April 2nd, President Trump announces a team to handle the logistics and supply chain for providing medical supplies to the states, 90 Days after first being told of the virus and 66 days after being asked to gather a team to distribute the medical supplies.

The breakdown is then after being alerted by the WHO, it took Donald Trump and his team 67 Days to announce the isolation and social distancing measures required and 90 days to organise the distribution of the PPE which looks very much like a failing of Donald Trump rather than a failing of the World Health Organisation. 

As of today 11 April 2020, more than 503,177 cases of COVID-19 had been confirmed in the U.S. and the virus had killed more than 18,800 Americans which explains why Donald Trump is desperate to find a scapegoat and deflect blame for his awful management of this crisis.

Trump Blames WHO & China- What He Knew & When Timeline (Long Read)

Under pressure for his actions in the United States as the Coronavirus death toll rises alarmingly, the US President Donald Trump has tried to deflect the blame onto China and the World Health Organization (WHO) for being too slow to sound the alarm in its tackling of the pandemic, saying 'The WHO really blew it' although in response the WHO have rejected the Trump criticisms and released its reports showing the timeline of events revealing what and when they knew and passed out advice and i have added Trumps quotes at the time.

31 Dec: 2019 China alerts WHO of 44 deaths with unknown cause in Wuhan and report sent to Global Health Officials.
Jan 3: US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar (HHSS) discuss with Chinese counterparts newly emerging disease and informs the White House National Security Council.
Jan 4: Intelligence officials begin offering classified warnings about the virus to Trump in the President’s Daily Brief.
Jan 6: CDC issues a travel notice for Wuhan due to the spreading disease
Jan 7: US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and CDC take part in WHO conference calls with other Global Health Leaders regarding the preliminary Chinese investigations have found no clear evidence of human-to-human transmission but to keep looking out for signs of such transmission
Jan 8: CDC issues an official health advisory about COVID-19 and warns that people should take precautions when traveling to Wuhan
Jan 9: WHO says the outbreak in Wuhan was caused by a previously unknown type of Coronavirus
Jan 10: Technical guidance notes published by the WHO to Global Health Officials with detailed clinical criteria for dealing with suspected cases and warning of the risk of transmission both by airborne droplets and contact with contaminated surfaces, suggesting isolation procedures. Former Trump Homeland Security Advisor Tom Bossert warns White House that 'we face a global health threat…Coordinate!'
Jan 11: WHO advises Health Leaders of evidence of human-to-human transmission and advises medical personnel to look out for patients who might have traveled to China’s Hubei province
Jan 12: Full genome sequence shared by China.
Jan 13: WHO warns of virus spreading beyond China’s borders for the first time
Jan 14: WHO warns of the risk of wider human-to-human transmission
Jan 17: CDC announces that it will begin screening air passengers arriving from Wuhan
Jan 21: Health officials in Washington state report the first case in the US. CDC activate its emergency response structure announcing they expect additional cases globally and in the United States.

Jan 22: WHO discuss with Global Health Experts whether or not to declare a global health emergency.
TRUMP: 'We have it totally under control, it’s one person coming in from China, and we have it under control. It’s going to be just fine'.

Jan 24: Senior CDC officials brief Senators about the latest developments about the virus.
TRUMP: 'China has been working very hard to contain the Coronavirus. The United States greatly appreciates their efforts and transparency. It will all work out well. In particular, on behalf of the American People, I want to thank President Xi!'

Jan 27: White House aides meet to discuss greater focus on the threat from the virus as the head of the White House Domestic Policy Council warns that 'dealing with the virus was likely to dominate life in the United States for many months'.
Jan 28: Former Trump administration officials publish letter imploring the President to Act Now to Prevent an American Epidemic and build a team for issuing of medical supplies.
Jan 29: Trump trade advisor, Peter Navarro, circulates internal memo warning that America is defenseless in the face of an full-blown pandemic, imperiling the lives of millions of Americans and to develop an aggressive containment strategy. Republican Senator Tom Cotton warns President Trump to take the virus seriously
TRUMP: 'Just received a briefing on the Coronavirus in China from all of our GREAT agencies, who are also working closely with China. We will continue to monitor the ongoing developments. We have the best experts anywhere in the world, and they are on top of it 24/7!'

Jan 30: WHO declares a 'public health emergency of international concern' calling on all governments to pursue containment and testing. US medics warn about critical PPE materials shortage
TRUMP: 'We think it’s going to have a very good ending for it. So that I can assure you'.

Jan 31: Donald Trump imposes temporary travel ban on 'foreign nationals who had been in China in the last 14 days excluding Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan
Feb 1: Trump administration declined to begin using WHO tests for the virus
Feb 4: Health Officials warn that a pandemic seems inevitable and call on the administration to dramatically expand testing
Feb 5: Intelligence officials brief the Senate Intelligence Committee that the virus poses a serious” threat and the adminstration would need to take actions that could disrupt Americans daily lives
White House officials push for expanding the travel ban to countries such as Italy but the plan is resisted citing economic concerns. HHSS requests for $2 billion to emergency medical equipment is rebuffed by Trump.

Feb 7: TRUMP: 'China will be successful in stopping the coronavirus especially as the weather starts to warm & the virus hopefully becomes weaker, and then gone. President Xi strongly leads what will be a very successful operation. We are working closely with China to help'.

Feb 10: TRUMP: 'I think the virus is going to be — it’s going to be fine'

Feb 19: TRUMP: Trump says: 'I think it’s going to work out fine. I think when we get into April, in the warmer weather, that has a very negative effect on that and that type of a virus. So let’s see what happens, but I think it’s going to work out fine'.

Feb 20: Health Officials advise that tests must be ramped up immediately while we can still intervene to stop spread.
Feb 23: Internal White House memo warns of an increasing probability of 100 million Americans infected  and as many 1-2 million fatalities
TRUMP: 'Coronavirus is very much under control in the USA. We are in contact with everyone and all relevant countries. CDC & World Health have been working hard and very smart. Stock Market starting to look very good to me!'

Feb 24: WHO warns epidemic is now a  pandemic
TRUMP: 'The Coronavirus is very much under control in the USA. … Stock Market starting to look very good to me!'

Feb 25: CDC says community spread of the virus in the United States is inevitable and Americans should prepare for disruption to everyday life
TRUMP: 'The virus is a problem that’s going to go away'.

Feb 26: TRUMP: 'When you have 15 people and the 15 within a couple of days is going to be down to close to zero that’s a pretty good job we’ve done'.

Feb. 27: Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman Richard Burr states the Virus is much more aggressive in its transmission than anything that we have seen in recent history

Feb 28: TRUMP: 'It’s going to disappear. One day, it’s like a miracle, it will disappear'.

Feb 29:
The United States records its first Coronavirus death and announces new travel restrictions for Iran, Italy and South Korea.
TRUMP: He also asked the press and politicians: 'not do anything to incite panic because there’s no reason to panic at all'
TRUMP: 'We've taken the most aggressive actions to confront the coronavirus. They are the most aggressive taken by any country'

Mar 4: HHSS says they only have 1% of respirator masks needed
Mar 9: Trump’s former Homeland Security adviser advocates social distancing and school closures to slow the spread of the contagion.
TRUMP: 'So last year 37,000 Americans died from the common Flu. It averages between 27,000 and 70,000 per year. Nothing is shut down, life & the economy go on. At this moment there are 546 confirmed cases of CoronaVirus, with 22 deaths. Think about that!'

Mar 10: TRUMP: 'Well, this was unexpected. This was something that came out of China, and it hit us and many other countries. You look at the numbers; I see the numbers with just by watching you folks. I see it — it's over 100 different countries. And it hit the world. And we're prepared, and we're doing a great job with it. And it will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away'.

Mar 11: WHO emergency committee speaks of 'alarming levels of inaction' from many countries including the US and the UK. The White House suspends travel from most European countries excluding Britain and Ireland
TRUMP: 'The vast majority of Americans: The risk is very, very low. Young and healthy people can expect to recover fully and quickly if they should  get the virus'.

Mar 13: Trump declares a national emergency.
TRUMP: 'We have 40 people right now. Forty. Compare that with other countries that have many, many times that amount. But we've done a great job because we acted quickly. We acted early. And there's nothing we could have done that was better than closing our borders to highly infected areas'.

Mar 16: Trump announces a 15-day period of social distancing
TRUMP: 'If you’re talking about the virus, no, that’s not under control for any place in the world. … I was talking about what we’re doing is under control, but I’m not talking about the virus'.

Mar 17: TRUMP: 'We have a problem that a month ago nobody ever thought about'.
TRUMP: 'I’ve always known this is a — this is real — this is a pandemic. I’ve felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic'.

Apr 2:  President Trump  announces team to handle the logistics and supply chain for providing medical supplies to the states.

As of today 11 April 2020, more than 503,177 cases of COVID-19 had been confirmed in the U.S. and the virus had killed more than 18,761 Americans, more than any other country in the World.