Monday 30 April 2018

Israel's New Iran Evidence 13 years Old

When you show up at the United Nations with a picture of a cartoon bomb as evidence to show how dangerous another nation is, then you tend to be a tad disbelieving of the nation pointing the finger but unperturbed by looking like an idiot last time, Israel's Benjamin Netanyahu is at it again and trying to pick a fight with Iran.
Without the Roadrunner style ACME graphics, this time he has presented 'new and conclusive proof' that Iran have been hiding their nuclear weapons program.
'Iran lied, big time' he said saying that he had tens of thousands of documents that showed 'Iran is brazenly lying when it said it never had a nuclear weapons programme'.
That would be the tens of thousands of documents that were new once, in 2005, as the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) explained they were reading and included in their presentation in 2008 which formed their decision that work on the Iranian nuclear project ceased in 2003 and found no evidence of further research activities after 2009.
The IAEA have already dismissed Netanyahu's 'new' evidence as something they have seen before and most of which they made public in 2011.
Israel have forwarded the 'evidence' to America where brains trust Donald Trump used it to attack the JCPOA which he is expected to pull out of shortly, saying 'it proved he was 100% right about the flaws of the agreement'.
That the chuckle brothers Trump and Netanyahu and America and Israel are putting their heads together to plot a path to war with Iran is not a thing to fill anyone with confidence and that they are faking the evidence of non-existent weapons of mass destruction has echoes of the last time a particularly dumb American President was trying to pick a fight with a Middle Eastern country and
that didn't turn out too well.
Netanyahu and Israel should stick to what it does best because those unarmed Palestinian civilians aren't going to shoot themselves.

Lucy Museum of Musicians - Sam Cooke

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.

Sam Cooke
Qualifying Songs: Nothing Can Change My Love For You, Wonderful World, Summertime

Back in the mid 80s Levi's 501 made a run of commercials with a 1960's theme and it was from those i was introduced to Sam Cooke and the glorious 'Wonderful World' which on the strength of the commercial, re-entered the UK charts at number 2.
I then got a Sam Cooke's greatest hits album and wondered why i had never come across him before. 'Wonderful World' is a perfect 60s song and just right for flogging stonewashed jeans.
'Summertime' is among the most covered songs in the history of music, the Cooke version is by far the best i have ever heard, the lethargic snare drum and guitar sending your mind to a hazy summer day, on a row-boat on a still river with your hand trailing lazily in the water.
'Nothing Can Change My Love For You' is lyrically faultless, the sort of end of the night slow song when you and your partner hold each other tight and move around in slow circles while the lights come on and the bar staff go around collecting the empty glasses.
He sang many gospel type songs which i don't much care for and it is better to gloss over his death but it it hadn't been for a jean advert in the 1980s i would never had discovered him or a kindred soul who also doesn't know much about trigonometry or algebra.

Eurovision Says Leave The Ladder At Home

Countries from all over Europe - and a few from outside Europe - will soon be taking part in the Eurovision singing competition, the 63rd time the contest has taken place.
Lots of lucky people will be able to go to watch the contest live at the Lisbon Arena in Portugal but organisers have released a list of items that audience members won't be allowed to take in with them.
On the list of banned items are things you might expect, such as firearms, knives, syringes, and scalpels, toxic substances,  flares and pyrotechnics. However, the extensive list also includes some puzzling items, including golf balls, ladders, trolleys, chains, crowbars, umbrellas, rope and adhesive tape.
The UK’s entry is SuRie and as the UK is one of the biggest financial backers of the contest, SuRie will automatically go through to the final which is very handy because we wouldn't get there otherwise as our song is what the Portuguese would politely call merda.

Peace Prize For Trump

The sounds of the people on the left's heads exploding will be deafening if Donald Trump is handed the Nobel Peace Prize for his work in bringing peace to Korea.
The fact that he was threatening to kill every man woman and child in North Korea with nuclear missiles a few short months ago is not the drawback one may think as neither is the missiles lobbed into Syria or the support for Israel as it continues to murder unarmed Palestinians.
Henry Kissinger got it while bombing Vietnamese and Cambodians and Obama was handed the prize just months into his Presidency and then went on to wage war in Libya and increase the amount of drone attacks in Afghanistan and Pakistan which set the precedent that you don't actually have to be peaceful to win the Peace Prize.
According to Nobel, the Peace Prize should be awarded to the person who in the preceding year: 'shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace'.
Maybe the name Donald Trump will join those of Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr. on the role of honour and Ladbrokes put the odds at 2/1 that he will get the award which strangely is only slightly better than the 3/1 that he will be removed from Office (removed covering all eventualities) and the 7/4 that he will be impeached.
A monkey banging enough keys on a piano will at some point accidentally make a tune and just possibly the Norwegians will think the orange faced monkey has banged enough keys and has accidentally done something good in Korea even if you have to ignore the whole him being a racist sexual predator thing.

Sunday 29 April 2018

Religion: The Last Day on Earth

As those of us who have looked these things up know, religions are forever nicking bits from other religions to sex their own up and as Christianity was a Johnny come lately in religion terms, it pretty much went around and took the best bits for their own religion and changed the names. 
One of the things it took and put their own spin on was the belief regarding the end of the world and the triumph of good over evil aka Judgement Day.
What the Christians tell their followers is to keep an eye out for four men on horses charging across the world, spreading War, Famine, Pestilence and Death and then amidst tornadoes and earthquakes, pretty much every comet in the universe will hit the planet while Satan walks the Earth as Jesus puts in a second appearance and hoovers up into heaven anyone 'good'.
As the ancient Persian religion of Zoroastrianism is the oldest known religion, it was also the first to come up with the idea of Judgement Day that all the others borrowed. They say that a comet named Gochihr will strike the Earth releasing waves of holy lava ripples across the entire surface of the world with those who have been good wading through it blissfully but all the bad people melting in agony.
The Hopi tribe of Native-Americans believe that there are a number of Worlds with each getting destroyed by a comet when humanity gets too corrupt, with only the Hopi getting preserved and moved to the next planet to try again.
Aztec mythology has us all coming to a grisly end at the bony hands of the Tzitzimime, who are skeletons who will arrive during a total solar eclipse lasting forever caused by angry Aztec Gods who have given up on mankind because it is they who keep the Sun glowing and is only the Sun saving us from the Tzitzimime.
Norse Mythology is particularly imaginative with Norse bad boy Loki escaping from ropes made of his son's intestines and hijacking a ship made of dead men's toenails before awakening the World Serpent who rises from the oceans and spews poison across the lands and skies until Earth sinks into the ocean leaving just two humans to repopulate what's left of the Earth.
The Hindu's also have a horse-led judgement day but where Christians have four they only have one, Lord Kalki, who armed with a sword, slashes and hacks at wrongdoers before the world ends.
Islam sees an increase of natural disasters, an orgy of violence, bloodshed, anarchy, and sexual immorality before a day of reckoning, in which the dead are reunited with their bodies and handed a book containing one’s accumulated deeds. Those who led good lives will be admitted to heaven, while those who were sinful are sent to the fires of hell.
Finally, Buddhism doesn't have men on horses or comets but people just forgetting the Buddha's teachings and generally being awful to each other. Then Maitreya, comes along to re-teach humanity about the 10 non-virtuous deeds and the 10 virtuous deeds before six more suns show up and boil off all the rivers, lakes and oceans before the Earth explodes into a massive fireball. 

Whichever one of the religions deities turn up to end things, none are particularly nice so maybe what we need is another religion, one where it doesn't all end in killer skeletons or Gods arriving in ships made of toenails to kill us all.

May Risks Losing Her Amber Rudd Lightning Rod

It's hard to believe that Amber Rudd is still clinging to her job as Home Secretary in the light of her bare faced lies to the Home Affairs Select Committee where she denied being aware of deportation targets despite a leaked private letter to Downing Street that she had set an 'ambitious but deliverable' deportation target for an increase in the enforced deportation of immigrants.
Amber Rudd must return to parliament on Monday delivering yet another apology for her handling of the Windrush scandal after further revelations about her role in and knowledge of the 'hostile environment' for immigrants, a role that was created by the previous Home Secretary, Theresa May.
The under-pressure Home Secretary will now rightly face a stream of hostile questions from Labour’s benches and any defence that she inherited the toxic immigrant policy is sunk below the water line as she picked up the policy and gleefully ran with it.
At the moment Rudd is the lightning rod conductor for public discontent and has loyally made her repeated apologies without allowing the blame to fall on to the Prime Minister for the policies May set in her six years at the Home Office.
With fresh Windrush injustices emerging daily, and knowledge that the Government knew that others had been snared in the teeth of the 'hostile environment', Theresa May must be worried what her replacement will say which could switch the spotlight onto her. 
May is seemingly content to keep her head down and allow her Home Secretary to continue to take the incoming fire but how long Rudd is content to take the damage to her reputation and political ambitions to protect the person who created the problem in the first place is another question and May knows that if Rudd says she has had enough, the white hot spotlight will move onto her.

Update: Seems Amber Rudd was content to take the damage to her reputation for about 30 minutes after i posted. Oh well, over to you now Theresa.   

Not Respecting the Brexit Vote

The Brexit supporters have a way of trying to shut down any argument against the destructive coursed that the country is taking, they say that is remainers should accept the will of the British people and accept the result.
Putting to one side the argument that it is the will of 52% of the British people, not all of them, the idea that we should just quietly accept the result is nonsense.
I have never voted Conservative but many of my fellow Britons have so does that mean that we should accept the will of the British people and not argue against Theresa May and her cohorts, of course not so why should us Remainers just slope away and silently accept the result of just over half of the British people when it comes to the damaging Brexit result?  
If i had my way i would ignore the 52% and say for the good of the country we have to stay in the EU and leaving the largest single market in the World is extreme madness but the Conservatives are far too keen to press on regardless despite making a pigs ear of negotiations.
Now that it is becoming clear just what it will mean and the detrimental effect it will have on Britain, it is time to either push for a second referendum or to completely abandoned it altogether.
It is an awkward truth that what many people wanted when they voted Leave isn't going to happen without making everyone significantly poorer and the Government should have the guts to scrap the deeply flawed EU referendum before we are committed to it and Britain makes the most monumentally awful self-inflicted decision of it's life.

Lucy Museum of Musicians - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.


Red Hot Chilli Peppers 
Qualifying Songs: Give It Away, Road Trippin, Scar Tissue,

Their appearance in the Museum is helped by the fact that Anthony Keidas is so damn handsome but the Chilli Peppers seem to fall between brilliance and meh but they are always fun.
Apart from 'Give It Away', it is the more serious grown up songs after the band cleaned up it's act and a couple of trips to rehab that get them turned up on my radio.
The lyrics to 'Give It Away' seem blatant enough, 'What i got you got to get and put it in you' doesn't leave much room for manoeuvre although i have heard Keidas say it was about selflessness and altruistic behavior but then the video with the camera angles and close up's of groin areas doesn't scream altruism to me although a close up of Keidas's love plums is always welcome. 
'Road Trippin' is a slower acoustic number and was only released in Europe while 'Scar Tissue' marks the line where the Band shifted to their new mellow guitar riffs and a softer sound and both are beautiful songs and a good example of a band growing and getting better as they mature and knock the taking of industrial amounts of heroin on the head. 

Saturday 28 April 2018

Russia Not The Biggest Dopers

The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) has published the Anti-Doping Rules Violations report for 2016 featuring 1,595 confirmed doping cases involving athletes representing 117 countries.
Seventy-nine percent of the drug violations registered by WADA in 2016 were committed by male athletes, with track and field being the most doping-affected sport, where 205 cases were revealed. It is followed by bodybuilding (183), cycling (165), weightlifting (116), and football (79).
As Russia has it's athletes currently banned from competing under their flag at major competitions due to doping violations, it is a surprise to see them sixth in the list so who was the biggest cheats of 2016?
The international doping watchdog said Italian athletes accounted for 147 anti-doping rule violations in 2016, the most recent year for which full figures are available.
French athletes accounted for the next highest number on the list with 86 cases while the United States was third with 76. 
Australia were fourth with 75 and Belgium fifth with 73. Russia and India were next with 69 cases each.

Alfie Evans: Who Decides?

The Alfie Evans story is desperately sad but once again we find ourselves asking the question who decides how and where a child dies?
Suffering from a terminal degenerative brain disease, after 17 months of keeping Alfie alive, it was all about managing the poor child's death once doctors said that medicine could do no more for him. 
As any parent would, Alfie's fought in court to keep their child alive but British law is quite clear with the legal precedent being that: 'the child's welfare shall be the court's paramount consideration' and the judge decided that as he had no discernible brain function and was reliant on life support in a semi-vegetative state and with no chance of recovery, the child's best interests was to follow the medical opinion and to withdraw treatment and allow him to die in hospital.
In Alfie's case, it  became a decision about how and where he died with the choice between Alder Hey Hospital or the Bambino Gesu hospital in Vatican City and that's where things became tricky because the religious campaign groups became involved and began exploiting the situation and stirring the pot.
The Christian Legal Centre provided legal support to the Evans family, advising the family to seek a private prosecution against doctors at Alder Hey for conspiracy to murder if they turned off the life support machines.
They argued in court that the palliative regime in Italy would be in line with Catholic teaching, provided with a view to continuing life rather than managing Alfie's death as in England.
There was a ridiculous American evangelist on TV warning that the case exemplifies the dangers of 'socialised medicine', ignoring the fact that NHS kept Alfie alive for 17 months for free, imagine the bill if this was happening the US.
The even more ridiculous Nigel Farage told Fox News Alfie's fate had effectively been decided by a 'death panel' showing a complete lack of understanding of what the court case was about as did those who protested and abused staff at Alder Hey Hospital.
The decision was a choice between the will of the parents and the advice of doctors and the courts found with the latter which doesn't make it any easier but as medicine advances, more children will be kept alive but not cured and the dilemma will come again but an already tragic and heartbreaking situation is only made harder for the parents by people with their own agenda and no understanding
of the position trying to stir things up.

Lucy Museum of Musicians - REM

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.

REM -
Qualifying Songs: Half A World Away, Man On The Moon, Losing My Religion,

If ever there was a band who hung about not doing much, then exploded with brilliance for a few albums and then settled back into mediocrity, it's REM.
Michael Stipe admitted that the song 'Losing My Religion' was life changing for them and it made them superstars overnight and they were everywhere for 3-4 years with the amazing songs from the albums 'Out of Time' and 'Automatic For The People' and then just seemed to run out of gas.  
As well as being a great song, the 'Losing My Religion' video always sweeps up at any 'best video' countdowns on the music channels or the ones that still play music anyway.
'Half A World Away' continued the Mandolin stage of their career and lyrics which include Blackbirds and losing his shoes so they probably make more sense after a fair amount of alcohol.
'Man On The Moon' is apparently a tribute to Andy Kaufman who is probably best know to us Brits as the foreign mechanic in Taxi but the reasons behind the moon landing conspiracy theory references are beyond me but then most of REM's lyrics always were.

Beware The West's Promises To North Korea

It was great to see the North and South Koreans sitting down together, there were even a few smiles and the two leaders even took part in that strange hand holding thing that male politicians now seem to do.
The fly in the ointment though could be the clumsy oaf about to enter the fray in the rotund shape of Donald Trump who is due to meet Kim Jong Un soon for discussions including the nuclear arsenal that North Korea were threatening to give the American people a close up view of only a few short months ago. 
If Trump thinks he is going to get North Korea to give up the nukes with a guarantee of security, the loosening of sanctions and improved relations then he had better hope that Kim hasn't been paying attention to America's promises over the last decade or so because the fate of Libya and Colonel Gadaffi should be foremost in the North Koreans mind.
Libya had all the materials needed to make nuclear bombs, the centrifuges, weapons designs, and fissile material but the Colonel gave up it's nuclear program in 2003, after promises from the U.S. and the UK that sanctions would be lifted, relations with the West would be improved and he was given a guarantee of security.
Just 8 years later, he was on the end of a US and UK led invasion which ended with him being dragged from a drainage pipe and shot by the West's allies.
Now Trump is due to offer the current ruler of North Korea the same deal in exchange for him giving up the nuclear deterrent that he currently holds in exchange for foreign aid, security guarantees and diplomatic relations with Washington but this familiar disarmament package can hardly look promising to Kim after Gadaffi. 
The best deal would be for the discussions and any deals to be led by South Korea who are most in danger from its Northern neighbour because the promises from the West, and mostly America, are not always worth the paper they are written on.

Friday 27 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - Ramones

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.

Ramones 
Qualifying Songs: Blitzkreig Bop, I Don't Want To Grow Up, Rock n Roll High School

When i was learning how to play the guitar my instructor would teach me a new song each lesson so to my parents it would look like he was worth what they were paying him to teach me. What they didn't know was that many punk songs were of the 3 chords type and the Ramones were a favourite because as long as you could make D, E and A you could play their songs.
The group never strayed far from the same formulaic tunes but like some bands, the tune they discovered was a great one and they span many great songs out with pretty much the same tune.
The frantic 'Blitzkreg Bop' is a must for any budding guitarist as it's fast, exciting and sounds great while being easy to play but then you could say that about most of their songs.
If ever there was a song which had a theme that i could support it is 'I Don't Want To Grow Up', a turgid Tom Waits song which the Ramones turned into a thumping, non-stop anthem listing the reasons why they don't want to grow up and ends on the stinging line 'How the hell did it get here so soon' which is my lament every birthday.
If you don't find yourself sliding across the kitchen on your knees while playing air guitar when this comes on the radio then you are a grown up already and it's too late for you.
'Rock N Roll High School' always sounds to me like the sort of song the Beach Boys would do if they turned punk with lyrics about cars, girls, school and not wanting to learning history all wrapped up a tune with less chords then Joey had limbs.

Hitting Trump With Music

If you start saving eggs and tomatoes now you could get a decent rotting lot just in time for 13 July and Donald Trump arrival on our shores but lobbing rotten groceries at the car of the orange moron is only one way to show our displeasure with the American President, another is to hit him musically.
A campaign has been launched to get American Idiot by Green Day to No.1 in the charts ahead of the third fattest Presidents visit with the plan urging people to download the song between Friday 6th and Thursday 12th to perfectly time the song hitting No.1 the very day he arrives in the UK.
Originally a song about George W Bush, an 18 carat gold idiot himself, it is transferable to any idiot who happens to be American and idiots from America don't come much bigger than the stumpy fingered Trump and Green Day themselves have even posted support for the campaign.
Brits have a history of using music to send a messages with a campaign to stop X Factor’s dominating the Christmas No. 1 spot ended after a mission to send 'Killing in The Name' by Rage Against the Machine to No. 1.
'Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead' also reached number 2 in 2013 following the death of Margaret Thatcher but if Green Day falls flat we could always blast out the Carly Simon hit 'Yellow River' in honour of his urine parties with Russian prostitutes or even The Doors 'Riding On a Storm(y)' in memory of his riding on porn star Stormy Daniels.

Thursday 26 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - The Platters

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.

The Platters 
Qualifying Songs: My Prayer, Only You, Smoke get in Your Eyes

There are many arguments about the greatest ever male singing voice but you would need to go a long way to find anything better than the silky vocals of Tony Williams who is mainly the reason this band make it into my museum.
The sublime ballad 'Only You' is the ultimate love song and not far behind it is 'Smoke Get's In Your Eyes' which is more of a vehicle for William's soaring voice without the vocal backing of the rest of the group who to be honest were just making up the numbers.
'My Prayer' sounds very similar to 'Only You' but Williams let's rip with his voice and halfway through, the key change makes the hairs on your arms stand up, it really is that good.
Such was Williams influence that when he left the group the record label refused to release any more Platters records and just released their previous songs with Williams singing.
The joy of the Platters is that their ballads are not break up songs but rather celebrate being in love and being with someone you cherish and quite rightly are still one of the most successful vocal groups ever with a string of hits that prove the label is correct even if Tony Williams, essentially, was The Platters.

Wednesday 25 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - The Offspring

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.

The Offspring
Qualifying Songs: Come Out & Play, Want You Bad, The Kids Aren't Alright

The Offspring were part of the pop-punk band thing in the 1990's but they had been around since 1984 so they were not an overnight success.
Like almost every Offspring song, 'Come Out and Play' is a fast paced pop punk piece and this is considered their breakthrough song and has a cool Arabian guitar riff going on.
'The Kid's Aren't Alright' is again another fast paced pop punk song and a play on The Who hit 'The Kid's Are Alright', the Offspring obviously thought otherwise.
'Want You Bad' follows the same Offspring formula but it isn't until you actually listen to the lyrics and see the video with girls shaking cans of cola which then explode all over them that you realise what the song is about, yep, it's about that.

New Arsenal Manager Shortlist

Since Arsene Wenger announced that his 22-year spell at Arsenal will end this summer, the search has been on between fans over who will replace him in the Emirates dug-out next season.
The current favourite is former Barcelona manager Luis Enrique after previous favourite Carlo Ancelotti seemed to remove himself by making eyes and cooing noises at the Italian FA for the national job.
Enrique would be assured a warm Gunners welcome as would second favourite Joachim Low of Germany but the welcome would be a lot more lukewarm for Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers who is worryingly third favourite at the moment.
Also included on the Stan Kroenke shortlist is Massimiliano Allegri of Juventus, Ralf Rangnick of RB Leipzig, Rafael Benitez of Newcastle, Bournemouth's Eddie Howe, Eusebio Di Francesco of Roma, Leonardo Jardim of Monaco and Atletico Madrid's Diego Simeone.
The scribbled names on the piece of paper in Kroenke's greasy little hand will grow shorter as managers rule themselves out but as long as we don't hear the words 'Brendan Rodger' and 'new Arsenal manager' in the same sentence before August then i think Arsenal fans will be happy with any of them on the shortlist but i hope the Arsenal board will be fluttering their eyelashes at Luis Enrique just that bit more than the others.

British Welcome For Trump In July

The whispers are that the Government are looking for an opportune moment between the latest crisis of their making to make an unpopular announcement, when Donald Trump will make his much delayed appearance in Britain. 
If the whispers are to be believed then the protest banners will be getting an airing in mid-July but it won't be the full enchilada with a procession up the Mall and a state banquet amidst warnings of mass protests on the streets and the 2 million Brits who signed a petition demanding that the President be prevented from making a state visit to the UK.
The July trip would likely be a lower-key working visit and recently the London Mayor and Trump critic, Sadiq Khan, said that if he does ever turn up on our shores then he should expect "people who want to express their views loudly and peacefully to the President'.
The problem protesters face is which aspect of the flawed President their banner should focus.
As luck would have it there have already been protests about the 3rd fattest President so we could go for the Russian angle with Trump and Putin kissing and the 'making Russia great again' tagline.
Others have gone for the Russian Prostitute golden shower games with 'Dont Pee On Me' and 'Pee Brain' while other have chosen to mock his silly hair, 'We shall overcomb' is a particular favourite as is 'There Will Be Hell Toupee'.
His teeny, tiny penis hands also get an airing with 'Keep your tiny hands off human rights' and a very inventive 'Can't Build A Wall, His Hands Are Too Small' hits two birds with one stone.
Some have gone for the obvious with 'Donald Trump Is A Vulgar Fat Pig' which is true but probably isn't the catchiest phrase, while his weirdly orange coloured skin is an obvious target, 'Go Home Cheeto' a popular phrase but a bit of thought went into 'ImPEACH the ORANGE'.
The best option is to hit as many as possible in one go as this guy did with his banner which read 'A sex-fiend, racist and liar walk into a bar and the bartender says 'what'll it be Mr President?
All great and i look forward to reading some of these when Putin's pal arrives, if he has not been impeached by then obviously.

Tuesday 24 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - Nirvana

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.
 
Nirvana 
Qualifying Songs: Lithium, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Heart Shaped Box

Some bands take their time to get going but Nirvana peaked at the very beginning and then never reached the same lofty heights again with the slide from the amazing 'Nevermind' to the less than amazing 'Unplugged in New York' shows just how far they dropped.
'Smells Like Teen Spirit' introduced them to the World and kick-started the whole grunge thing and a fine song to do it even if the song name comes from a brand of deodorant.
'Lithium' continued the trademark Nirvana sound of slower and quieter verses with a fast and loud chorus and the three choruses to Lithium contained Kurt screaming 'Yeah' 25 times which must be some sort of record to sing 'Yeah' 75 times in a shade over four minutes.
'Heart Shaped Box' has the line 'I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black' which i guess to Cobain's drug addled brain was just a very convoluted way to say I Love You, which is romantic, sort of.
When a band are cut off early as Nirvana were, you do wonder what would have been yet to come but you kinda know with Nirvana that the 'Nevermind' Album and the amazing singles from it were as good as it was ever going to get from them. 

Monday 23 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - Muse

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.

Muse 
Qualifying Songs: Assassin, Knight of Cydonia, Plug In Baby

The story goes that Muse's American label did not consider singer Matt Bellamy's vocals 'radio-friendly' and did nothing to promote them stateside until 2005 after which time they had racked up a great back catalogue and following elsewhere so America missed out on most of Muse's biggest early hits and the band have since moved on to a less guitar wailing sound so that's their loss.
Although an amazing guitarist, Bellamy's vocal are admittedly a bit different to the norm (he's from Devon you know) but they go with the rather quirky nature of the band but while America missed out the rest of us got them in their best years. 
'Assassin' is a frantic drum and guitar nosebleed and 'Knights of Cydonia' is much the same although once i read that the drum beat is based on a horses gallop, i always visualise a knackered horse at the end of it.
'Plug In Baby' was deservedly voted by Guitar magazine readers as the number 1 ultimate guitar riff of the 2000s and it is exceptional even if nobody knows what the songs about but the video has bits of broken robotic women in it so let's go with that.   
Muse are easily the best thing to come from Devon since...ummm...erm...hmmm....

Why Abortion Intimidation Shouldn't Work

Nine councils in England are setting up abortion clinic buffer zones to protect women from anti-abortion protesters after a rise of intimidating behaviour by religious groups including name calling, confronted with oversized distressing pictures of aborted foetuses and filming women entering and leaving the clinics and streaming live on Facebook.
Ealing council in west London has became the first local authority to apply a public spaces protection order (PSPO) for 100 yards around the Marie Stopes clinic to protect women from distress and intimidation.
Council spokesman described the spread of anti-abortion tactics as deeply worrying and said that in recent years protests have become more regular, wider spread and more intimidating with groups of people approaching women and trying to talk to them about their personal medical decisions.
Nottingham council have sought an injunction against 40 Days for Life, a Christian movement, after they held vigils outside the abortion clinic at Queen’s Medical Centre in Nottingham and but explained that they are only there to pray and offer help or alternatives to abortion.
Abortion is a life changing decision and far too important for other people to decide, whether they be religious fanatics with a placard or well meaning pro-life campaigners.
It should only be the decision of the people directly involved with the help of professional advice and then be left to make their own decisions and deal with the consequences if necessary but mostly it is far too important a decision to have someone else try to intimidate a woman into what they can and can't do with their own bodies because of their own beliefs.

Another Royal

Hooray, Britain has another Royal because we haven't got enough of those already!

Sunday 22 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - Mötley Crüe

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.

Mötley Crüe 
Qualifying Songs: Shout At The Devil, Too Young To Fall In Love, Wild Side

Between the massive substance abuse, sexual escapades and general decadence, Mötley Crüe somehow put out some cracking rock songs in the 80s although they were relatively unknown this side of the Atlantic.
Mick Mars pounding guitar riffs dominates on all their songs and 'Shout At The Devil' starts with a pounding riff driven intro and because the lyrics include the word 'Devil', religious types alleged it encouraged Devil worship but it was more likely to encourage deafness as it is a song that if the neighbours aren't banging the wall and screaming at you to turn that racket down, you aren't playing it loud enough.
'Too Young To Fall In Love' is another guitar and drum dominated song about being too young to fall in love obviously and 'Wild Side' takes a poke at the religionists who decried their previous Beelzebub themed song and throws every religious term into it and mangles part of the Lord Prayer, take that Bible bashers. 
The songs may sound as good today as they did back then but the video's scream 80's Hair Band which reminds you why the 80's was not the friend of wannabe cool rock bands.

Exorcisms Kerching!!

It's enough to make your head spin, literally, but the Roman Catholic Church are offering a week-long course in exorcism, titled: 'Exorcism and Prayer of Liberation' for all your demon-banishing needs.
So what do you get from the course except a €300 shaped hole in your bank account?
Wannabe exorcists learn about issues they might encounter, including recognising the devil, differentiating between possession and mental disorders, and legal protections for exorcists because flying crucifixes can hurt.
You will also learn how to perform the traditional exorcism techniques such as sprinkling holy water and chanting Bible passages in Latin and in a new, modern twist, exorcism by mobile phone.
An estimated half a million people seek exorcisms each year in Italy alone, and the demand for exorcisms worldwide is growing, according to the Catholic Herald newspaper.
At the end of the exorcism course you get a certificate which allows the newly qualified exorcist to apply for a license which allows them to raise a cross against the powers of darkness.
If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself spraying green vomit at family members or doing unmentionable things under the blankets with the crucifix, remember that a license holding, trained exorcist is unlikely to charge anything for banishing your demons although a donation is expected for all that effort of relieving you of your sanity, judgement, dignity and large wads of cash.

Revision Tips

For students, this is the time where we head into exam season and all the stresses and strains that this provides and i am always asked 'What's the best way to revise?'
Horses for courses as we all take in information differently and it is all about committing what you have learnt from the temporary short term memory into long term memory to be recalled.
My tip for doing this is to explain something to someone, the act of speaking it out loud ingrains it where you want it to be for when you are sat in the exam hall with just a pen and a sheet of question paper.
Science says the best time to revise is just before you go to bed as the undisturbed quiet time gives the information in your short term memory chance to permeate into the long term memory.
A study at the University of Edinburgh discovered that this method boosted recall by up to 30% which could make a massive difference to the grade you receive.
Definitely not recommended is doing it at the last moment and attempting to cram a years worth of notes into your brain in those the last few days because that way leads to headaches, far too much coffee than is healthy and trying to find body parts you can write an answer on unnoticed by the invigilator and believe me, THEY NOTICE EVERYTHING!!

Apple's Greed Kills Iphone 10

Apple's history has been very up and down, their computers were bested by PC's and Microsoft and after years of twiddling their thumbs they turned to MP3 players and mobile phones and Apple iphones were great but now the wheel has turned and they have nobody to blame but their own greed.
You could sense the worm turning with the decision to remove the headphone socket on the iphone 7 but to make up Apple would flog you a set of compatible Bluetooth headphones for £200 and it is just a happy coincidence that Apple owns the number one selling Bluetooth headphone company, Beats.  
Now are are up to version 10 of the iphone, cost £1000, and with sales tanking Apple are rethinking their approach of milking the iphone users and have stopped producing new iphone 10's as they have a massive backlog of unsold units.
Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing, or TSMC, the world's largest semiconductor foundry company, are not happy as they now have an abundance of unused and useless Apple chips sat in their factory.
Apple seemed to bank on consumers being willing to pay £1000 for something a great deal better than a high end device by other manufacturers.
'The simple problem with X is that it is too expensive. Consumers are turning their backs on high-priced smartphones' said the head of TSCM and throw in the revelation that Apple were deliberately slowing down ageing devices all means that Apple are in for a bumpy time and could be forced into producing cheaper new iPhones.
Before anyone starts to feel sympathy for Apple, according to an analysis by research firm IHS Markit, the parts for the £1000 iphone 10 costs £264 which means that Apple have been making monster profits on their devices for years so the shareholders won't be begging for change or going short for a while yet.

Saturday 21 April 2018

Linking The Violent Extremists

Being America, when Nasim Najafi Aghdam opened fire at the YouTube headquarters last month the conclusion was this was yet another gun owning nutter in a land of lax gun laws which it was but the surprise was that it was a woman performing the gun violence.  
It is undeniable that virtually all of the violent extremists including mass shooters, right-wing extremists, anti-immigrant zealots, anti-Muslim skinheads, neo-Nazis, white supremacists and Jihad supporting Muslims are linked by one thing, their gender.
Most people who drift to the edges of the political spectrum and toward violent extremism and then commit acts of terrorist violence are young men and the fact that they are male hardly causes a ripple.
Of course there are violent extremist females also but so rare are they that when they do turn violent, their gender is noticed which proves the point that the extremist violence is the domain of the male.
In the case of the American shooters, leaving aside the easy access to guns and the pathetically weak gun laws which allow the mass shootings to happen, the usual back story is one of isolation or bullying but girls get isolated and bullied at school but are far less likely to pick up an assault weapons and 'pull a Columbine' at their high school.
Muslims may be angry at what the West have been doing to their region and that effects men and women equally but the Jihadists turning up on the streets or on TV beheading foreigners are hardly ever female.
If the world is such a hostile place then the question must be why are particular males more prone to violence and not all the others who have been through the same experiences and what makes these males so prone to lapse into such horrific violence?
They may be mass shooters, Jihadists, neo-Nazis or white supremacists and it may seem irrelevant in the wake of the loss of life, but it is highly likely that they will be linked by gender as it is extraordinarily rare that they will be female so maybe that's where we should be looking for the answer to why.

Lucy Museum of Musicians - The Mamas & Papas

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.


The Mamas & Papas 

Qualifying Songs: California Dreamin', I Saw Her Again Last Night, Monday Monday

If ever there was image of a band which didn't fit with was going on behind the scenes it was The Mamas and Papas. Far from being the clean cut band they portrayed they were bonking each other and at one stage went off to live on an island for a year doing a quantity of drugs that even Lindsay Lohan would blanch at.
The song, 'I Saw Her Again last Night' was written by John Phillips for band mate Denny Doherty to sing as punishment for an affair he had with his wife and fellow band member Michelle Phillips which must have stung every time he saw that on the song list.
Denny Doherty admitted that he was so out of his gourd at the height of their fame that he can't remember much about the whole being in a band thing while Mama Cass only stopped doing drugs long enough to eat large quantities of food which finally done for her.
'California Dreamin' is probably their best know song and is all longing for the warmth of Los Angeles while being stuck in a cold wintery New York City while 'Monday Monday' is just a three minute moan about Monday mornings which is fair enough, Monday mornings are bloody 'orrible.

Not Trusting North Korea Or America

North Korea announcing it will cease testing nuclear devices and missiles and shutting down its primary nuclear test site at Punggye-ri is a huge step forward and one which looked impossible a few short months ago when the rocket man and the dotard were throwing barbs at each other via Twitter but you do wonder what bought about the sea-change in North Korean policy.
Donald Trump and the war hawks will argue that his hard-headed campaign of sanctions forced the North Koreans to the table which is politically advantageous to Trump considering his growing troubles with porn stars and Russians at home and with not much else to cheer his supporters.
Others are saying that North Korea has achieved it's nuclear programme ambitions and after decades of requests, have a naive and simple US President who they can twist around their finger with the ultimate bargaining chip and rather than full denuclearisation, they simply have to freeze where they are now and that is with a complete nuclear programme.
It will be interesting what view wins out and i am sure that we will know more by the July summit but i would say the same to Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump, don't be too quick to trust the word of the other guy.

Vinyl Records Were Ditched For A Reason

For some reason, despite most people consuming music digitally these days, sales of vinyl records are up with an increase of 26% in the UK last year and one in 10 physical music purchases are now vinyl, with high street stores and online retailers both stocking it in greater numbers.
It's renaissance has puzzled me because those of us who had been there in our teenage years know that vinyl records are not a patch on CDs.
My memories of vinyl records are them scratching and once scratched you are forever consigned to your song jumping at the same part forever or even more annoying, keep repeating the same line over and over and over until you nudge the needle. 
Then you have to tiptoe around your room while the record is playing or else the record player arm will jump and you will go from track 1 to track 3 in one swift movement and risking a dirty great scratch.
Vinyl records playback quality was questionable with constant crackling and hissing in the quiet bits of songs and the discs themselves warped and enough of a warp would annoyingly lead to the song playing slightly quicker and slower as the needle in parts navigated the ups and downs of the slab of vinyl.
Almost every cardboard sleeve i owned had sellotaped edges as the disc would cut through the sleeve edges and if your collection got large enough you would need to set aside half a room for storage.
Finally downloads and CD's are portable so you can hear your music anywhere you go, try that with a record player and see how far you get.
Vinyl was ditched in favour of digital versions of music for a reason so going back to a less superior version doesn't make sense to me because i for one was happy to see those warped and hissy vinyl discs consigned to history.

Friday 20 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - Madness

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.


Madness

Qualifying Songs: One Step Beyond, The Prince, Baggy Trousers

Madness were a band who went from amazing to awful almost overnight, from 1978 to 1981 they were a brilliant ska band and then suddenly and unexpectedly, they changed direction to a more pop sound and it was all 'Wings of a Dove' and 'My Name Is Michael Caine' and by 1986 they had split.
'One Step Beyond' is probably their most famous, and best, song, a fast ska sound with a bass running up and down the scales while a saxophone blasts away and its almost impossible to hear without wanting to do that little jerky side to side dance they did which can be embarrassing queueing at the checkout in Sainsbury's.
'Baggy Trousers' has that same ska sound they mastered so successfully to start with as did 'The Prince' which was their first single in 1979 and was a tribute to Jamaican ska singer Prince Buster, whose song the band took their name.
Then it all went southwards but they are back again now and it is the pre-82 hits that they play at reunion shows which proves that although some bands mature and change style successfully, sometimes it is best to stick to what you know because the Nutty Boys matured but the style change did them no favours whatsoever.

Arsene Wenger, Thank You And Goodbye

Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, calls time after 22 years at the club which to be fair was about four years too long but thanks Arsene, now let's get someone in who can hopefully emulate what you did for the first 10 glorious years.
It says a lot that his media conference today included the line 'We want to finish in front of Burnley' which says everything about how far we have fallen since our 'invincible' days when we were winning titles by not losing a game all season in 2004.
My phone has been buzzing all day with fellow Arsenal fans relieved that Wenger has finally taken the cue for his ride into the sunset as every season he hung around chipped away at his legacy which included three Premier League titles and seven FA Cups.
But now, after years of under-achievement, months of discontented rumblings and weeks of empty Emirates seats, Wenger has finally decided that the game is up and will depart amidst a waterfall of tributes and even more if he can steer Arsenal past Atletico Madrid and in the Europa League Finals.
All the talk now is who will replace him with Patrick Viera being touted as the favourite but i have my eye on German national team coach Joachim Löw, Atletico's Diego Simeone or Massimiliano Allegri of Juventus to take over the reigns.
As Wenger has gone with a year left on his contract the talk is that Arsenal have someone lined up but they had to take him now or lose him elsewhere so its thank you for everything Arsene but time to let go and allow someone else to have a go at restoring our club to a place higher than making sure we finish above Burnley.

It's Only April!!

It's April. It shouldn't be this hot!
Mid twenties and it isn't even summer yet, that joy is still months away and it was only 4 weeks ago that snow was on the ground and the weather girl was telling us to wrap up warm.
April temperatures are around 12C, today in London it was 28C and is set to be the warmest April day since 1949 but definitely the hottest day of the year so far.
As with most things, the blame sits with the Portuguese where a spike of warm air is pushing up from Portugal and roasting us all in our cars in the UK.
The stupidly hot weather is expected to last until thunderstorms come along Saturday evening to push it away.
It isn't fair that it is going to be hot and humid until September and i will spend until then smothered in sun cream but don't lets start it even earlier than usual in bloody April, that's just ridiculous. 

Thursday 19 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - Led Zeppelin

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.


Led Zeppelin
 
Qualifying Songs: Whole Lotta Love, Rock N Roll, Stairway to Heaven

'Stairway To Heaven' was placed at number 31 on the Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time and i once saw an interview with Jimmy Page who went through the process of how he wrote the tune and not once did he mention him directly swiping it from the song Taurus by Spirit.
Still a great song which builds and builds to the amazing crescendo but i would pick the fast paced 'Rock n Roll' as my top Led Zeppelin song, it just keep up a relentless pace throughout.
'Whole Lotta Love' was the background music for the Top of The Pops chart rundown so i heard it every Thursday night but never realised until a long time afterwards that it was an actual song although in true Led Zeppelin fashion, it was nicked from someone else and the Band settled out of court with Small Faces and gave them a writing credit on the song.
Ironic that as it was the theme to the biggest UK chart show but the song was never released in the UK at the time and put in a belated showing at number 21 in 1997.
Amazingly in their career which came to an abrupt end in 1980 with the death of drummer John Bonham, they only spent 3 weeks in the UK Singles Charts and that was a re-release of Whole Lotta Love in 1997 but happily the songs from which they ripped off the majority of their tunes spent much longer in the charts.

Cuba Now A Castro Free Zone

Raúl Castro, 86, has stood down as president of Cuba and has been replaced by Miguel Díaz-Canel, 57, the vice-president which means almost 60 years and 11 US Presidents later, Cuba is about to be governed by someone other than a Castro for the first time since 1959.
Usually you can determine how successful a leader has been by asking the question 'is my country better off at the end of this persons leadership then when they took over' but the sheer length of time between these events makes that poser almost impossible to answer.
Depending on which side of the political fence you sit, you can point at the economic problems of the island, the denial of political diversity, and its dreadful human rights record and justifiably say Castro and his brother has not been a success.
Alternatively you could point to despite its scant resources, Cuba has fashioned education and health care systems that is the the envy of far richer countries. Illiteracy has been eradicated, while life expectancy at birth in Cuba is about the same as in the US, despite health care spending per capita one 20th the size of that of its richer neighbour.
Considering that most of the 11 US Presidents spent time and resources trying to assassinate the Castro's, that they lasted as long as they did is an achievement in itself but history will be left to decide just how good their leadership was.

The Hapless Conservatives

We have had some hapless leaders but Theresa May has just been hopeless.
The Conservatives have always been known as the nasty party and this Government  have kept that label accurate but Theresa May just seems to fall from one awful decision to the next.
The Brexit debacle which is still spinning in the wind to the decision to hold a General Election she couldn't lose but saw her majority almost wiped out and now the Windrush cock-up with her seeming to point to everyone else and everyone else just pointing straight back at her.
At first she refused to meet the West Indian delegation in the country for the Commonwealth meeting and after the media got hold of the Windrush stories, where people we had invited over were refused benefits, NHS treatment and housing as they were unable to prove they had been living in Britain, she then decided she would meet them after all.
When it was then leaked that the boarding cards, the only proof the incomers had to prove they had been living here had been destroyed in 2010, Theresa May blamed the Labour Government.
Nope, was a Home Office decision and you were in charge of the Home Office at the time the decision was made cried the Home Office staff backed up bu the currenmt Home Secretary who refused to accept the blame for the cock-up.
The strangest part of the story is that the Conservatives have been awful, have inflicted severe austerity and Brexit upon us and have been caught out in so many ways so many times but still they are neck and neck in the polls with Labour who should be sprinting away from one of the most dysfunctional British Governments many of us have ever seen.
The Labour Party should be asking itself the same question because if they can't take power away from this shower, then they never will.

Wednesday 18 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - The Kinks

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.


The Kinks

Qualifying Songs: Sunny Afternoon, Waterloo Sunset, You Really Got Me

The story goes that the Kinks first two singles failed to find the top 40 and the record company gave them one more chance and if the third single failed to chart then they would be given the hook but the third song was 'You Really Got Me' which got to number one and the P45's were never written.
'You Really Got Me' had a hard-driving rock edge to it but they shifted to a more toned down, gentler sound such as the very summery 'Sunny Afternoon' which includes an always welcome dig at the Taxman and includes a video of them playing their instruments in a snowy park.
'Waterloo Sunset' is another slower effort but the lyrics about watching two lovers meeting on Waterloo Bridge are beautiful and sits proudly at 42 in The Rolling Stones magazine top 500 songs ever.

Tuesday 17 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - The Jam

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.

The Jam
Qualifying Songs: Going Underground, That's Entertainment, Town Called Malice

Paul Weller always seems a bit of miserable git to me and i associate him and The Jam with the whole MOD thing which never really interested me and i had no interest in his music after the Jam split up.
'Going Underground' and 'Town Called Malice' were wonderfully driven angry songs which is the same reason i like 'That's Entertainment' even though it's a slower acoustic song but Weller still sounds like he has just found the cat has pooped in his slippers.

Monday 16 April 2018

Lucy Museum of Musicians - Guns N' Roses

Qualification to The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians is they must have a minimum of three songs which would make me turn up the radio if they came on.


Guns N' Roses
 
Qualifying Songs: Civil War, Paradise City, Sweet Child O' Mine,

If what you want in a band is for them to land like an explosion, churn out a couple of the greatest albums ever recorded and then implode spectacularly, then Guns N' Roses are for you.
Use Your illusions I and II was those rarest of albums where almost every song was brilliant and i remember queueing at midnight outside HMV on a balmy September night in 1991 to get my hands on the double Album.
The hard part is just picking three songs from the treasure trove of songs they had but 'Sweet Child O'Mine' ticks every box and is almost the perfect song, great lyrics, an amazing Slash guitar solo and ends as a different song to the one it started as.
Probably the greatest anti-war song ever penned, 'Civil War', and the opening lyrics of 'Look at your young men fighting, Look at your women crying, Look at your young men dying' should be etched on the forehead of every armchair general the next time war rears it ugly, ridiculous head. 
'Paradise City' where it goes double time and Axel wails the chorus repeatedly while Slash does magnificent things to the guitars fretboard is genius and if there is a city where Slash is topless playing his Les Paul and Axel is running around in tight Lycra shorts doing that snake hipped shimmy then that's Paradise right there.
Guns N' Roses were about the only band i would say i was sad about about when they broke up but as we were just launching into the Grunge scene it softened the blow a bit but for four glorious years they debauched their way around the charts, so much so that bass player Duff McKagan's Pancreas exploded and it doesn't get much more rock and roll than your bodies internal organs rebelling and trying to blow themselves up.