Sunday 22 April 2018

Exorcisms Kerching!!

It's enough to make your head spin, literally, but the Roman Catholic Church are offering a week-long course in exorcism, titled: 'Exorcism and Prayer of Liberation' for all your demon-banishing needs.
So what do you get from the course except a €300 shaped hole in your bank account?
Wannabe exorcists learn about issues they might encounter, including recognising the devil, differentiating between possession and mental disorders, and legal protections for exorcists because flying crucifixes can hurt.
You will also learn how to perform the traditional exorcism techniques such as sprinkling holy water and chanting Bible passages in Latin and in a new, modern twist, exorcism by mobile phone.
An estimated half a million people seek exorcisms each year in Italy alone, and the demand for exorcisms worldwide is growing, according to the Catholic Herald newspaper.
At the end of the exorcism course you get a certificate which allows the newly qualified exorcist to apply for a license which allows them to raise a cross against the powers of darkness.
If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself spraying green vomit at family members or doing unmentionable things under the blankets with the crucifix, remember that a license holding, trained exorcist is unlikely to charge anything for banishing your demons although a donation is expected for all that effort of relieving you of your sanity, judgement, dignity and large wads of cash.

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