Sunday, 2 December 2012

Fracking For Us

Hydraulic fracturing, or fracking, in the UK was stopped in 2011 when it was blamed for causing two earthquakes in Blackpool. Now the Government is planning to announce not only a lifting of the ban but announcing tax breaks for fracking companies and all in the name of  those handy coveralls 'boosting the economy' and 'creating jobs'.
So apart from causing earthquakes as witnessed in Blackpool, and in California, Ohio and Arkansas in the US, what else do we know about fracking?
We know how they 'frack', it involves drilling and injecting fluid into the ground at a high pressure in order to fracture shale rocks to release natural gas inside. The fluid is a mix of water, sand and up to 600 chemicals, chemicals that are known carcinogens and toxins and containing chemicals deemed to be 'hazardous wastes'.
In America, where fracking has been big business, the toxic chemicals have been known to leach out from the system and contaminate the groundwater, used for drinking water for nearby cities and towns. There have been over 1,000 documented cases of water contamination in the States as well as cases of sensory, respiratory, and neurological damage due to ingested contaminated water.
Environmental officials in Pennsylvania discovered traces of benzene and arsenic in the bodies of local residents causing kidney and liver damage and blamed the fracking industry and health officials advised residents in Wyoming not to drink the water in areas where fracking is going on after they found dangerous levels of hydrocarbons in the water supply.
Regulators ordered a cease to all fracking in Susquehanna County and advised residents to avoid drinking the water after chemicals used in fracking entered the water supply.
So earthquakes and poisoning the water supply are two big minuses against it but but fracking has yet another disadvantage to it, it poisons the air as well.
The toxic fluid that is not left in the ground to poison the water we drink is left in open air pits to evaporate, releasing harmful compounds into the atmosphere contaminating the air, causing acid rain, and releasing ozone.
George Osborne may well tell us that it would be good for our economy and will create jobs but at the cost of our health, our drinking water and our air quality but considering this Government are also pushing to land us with a load of nuclear power station and the radioactive waste that comes with them, i don't think they will be put off by a few earthquakes and poisoned water supplies.
It's all about the economy you understand so stop moaning and don't put anything fragile on high shelves. 

Saturday, 1 December 2012

happy bday 2u txt spk

mon marks 20 years since 1st txt msg wz snt 2 a mob fone.
1st SMS wz snt on December 3, 1992, wen a British engineer cald Neil Papworth of teknoloG co. Sema - usd hs cmptr 2 snd msg "Merry Christmas" 2 a mob fone.
I don't do text speak, i've never sent a text to a M8 or told someone i would CU L8R because i'm one of those who would prefer to type out the whole thing in proper English than try to abbreviate it.
It is obviously an age thing because my children have got so fed up with us asking them what they are talking about and to text us in proper words rather than text speak which they use only for people who understand it.
David Cameron was outed as a text speak bafoon recently when he thought when he wrote LOL at the end of his texts he was writing 'lots of love' instead of ‘laugh out loud’.
Cramming information into as few a characters as possible is always going to result in the severest of abbreviations but to those of us who cannot or refuse to move on from our old writing style, old habits die hard.
I suppose it is the evolution of the English language, the English dictionary now contains such pearls as OMG and LOL and i see signs using words such as 2nite and while it can seem odd to anyone over 40, it's no use fighting against it.
That said i still won't use it, i didn't spend all those years in school having 'i before e' and 'y becomes i' rammed into my young head to not use them FFS!

Friday, 30 November 2012

Evil Santa

It is not easy to know where to lay the blame for eating disorders, obesity, anti-social behaviour and drug & alcohol abuse. Not easy that is unless you are a barnpot like Pastor Harry of the Church of Philadelphia who knows exactly who is to blame, Father Christmas.
As he explains on the SANTA BE GONE section of his website 'It is very possible that the stress caused by The SANTA LIE causes a child to suffer POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME and causes a wide range of serious mental illnesses for a child as they reach Adolescence from bed wetting, anxiety, OCD and bi-polar disorders to depression, hyperactivity, eating disorders, obesity, anti- social behaviour and drug & alcohol abuse. THE SANTA LIE MAY WELL BE THE WORST FORM OF CHILD ABUSE TODAY!'
He believes that 'SATAN is the one who is laughing the loudest as he urges Churches and Christian Parents to turn Christmas, The Birth of Christ, into his biggest Lie Ever Told and if Santa is a Lie, then you are sinning against God and your children when you tell them that Santa Is Real and lying to your Children about Santa is a work of Satan and will keep you out of heaven, unless you repent and practise truth'.
But Pastor Harry, what can we do?? Luckily, the Pastor has thought of that and he can sell you some freaky looking 'Burnable Effigy Dolls' which use a specially designed 'filler' that burns quickly and brilliantly. The cost of these hand made effigy dolls is $95.00 per doll (plus $25.00 shipping and handling). Just to make sure that Jesus will let you in, he suggests 'Maybe you can buy two dolls one for the night and one for the day'. Salvation guaranteed for $240, thanks Pastor Harry, but what about the children?
'If you want your child to grow up normal, psychologically healthy and value honesty' says Harry, 'then REMOVE THE SANTA LIE FROM YOUR HOME AND THEIR LIVES! Is it just an accident that SANTA scrambled = SATAN, the Father of Lies? A Child who has been deceived by The Santa Lie not only doubts the Truth about JESUS but everything else a parent tells them from smoking and drugs are bad to sex outside of marriage is harmful. After all, why should a child believe a bonified LIAR who has lied to them about Santa?'
'America and our youth leads the world in anxiety and depression disorders, eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse and violence. America also leads the world in LYING TO OUR CHILDREN ABOUT SANTA.  Coincidence?'
There you have it, tell kids about Santa and they end up obese, an anorexic drug taker with mental issues and you wont get into heaven.
Thanks Pastor Harry for showing us that believing in the man in the sky that nobody ever sees is such a danger, we can tell our kids straight out that he doesn't exist and it will endanger your well being and mental health to believe that he is real.  
Santa on the other hand, he exists.

Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

The Christmas adverts are on the television, the advent calendars are being pinned to the door and we are planning what bit of the ceiling will be on the receiving end of a drawing pin this weekend when we stick up the decorations.
It's the first of December tomorrow but i have been listening for weeks how it seems that Christmas starts too early and anyway, it's just an excuse to pump shoppers for a few extra quid to buy the tat in the shops. Bah Humbug to 'em, I'm with Andy Williams in declaring It's the most wonderful time of the year.
To some it is about the birth of Jesus, to others all about the decorations, the carol singers, the anticipation of snow, advent calendars, Christmas films, the school nativity play, holiday from work, Christmas pop records and the general feeling of goodwill that builds as the advent calendar is carefully opened with each passing day.
If you don't like Christmas for whatever reason, pipe down and shove a mince pie in your grumpy face because the rest of us do. 

Thursday, 29 November 2012

Such A Small Thing

 “A small matter,” said the Ghost, “to make these silly folks so full of gratitude.”
“Small!” echoed Scrooge.
The Spirit signed to him to listen to the two apprentices, who were pouring out their hearts in praise of Fezziwig: and when he had done so, said, “Why! Is it not? He has spent but a few pounds of your mortal money: three or four perhaps. Is that so much that he deserves this praise?”
“It isn’t that,” said Scrooge, heated by the remark, “He has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a pleasure or a toil. Say that his power lies in words and looks; in things so slight and insignificant that it is impossible to add and count ’em up: what then? The happiness he gives, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune.”

Jennifer Foster was visiting New York with her boyfriend on November 14 when she came across a shoeless man asking for change. As she was about to approach, she said a police officer came up to the man with a pair of all-weather boots and thermal socks.
Mrs Foster quoted the policeman, Officer DePrimo, as saying 'I have these size 12 boots for you, they are all-weather. Let's put them on and take care of you'.
Miss Foster said that the homeless man 'smiled from ear to ear' after getting the boots and it was if someone had given him a million dollars.
We sometimes forget that despite all the horror stories in our newspapers and on the television, that there are many random acts of human kindness going on unreported all the time.
'The happiness he gave, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune'. Such a small thing but quite as great as if it cost a fortune'. Indeed it is.

Leveson

After an inquiry into press intrusion lasting 16 months and costing £6m, Lord Justice Leveson has delivered a damning verdict on decades of 'outrageous behaviour by newspapers'.
After hearing evidence including how News of the World journalists had hacked the phone of murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler, his 2,400-page report condemned the behaviour of elements within the newspaper industry and called for the establishment of a muscular new independent regulatory body, backed by legislation.
Leveson concluded that 'The press had repeatedly acted as if its own code of conduct simply did not exist, and wreaked havoc with the lives of innocent people. He said that he was left with no doubt that the existing model of voluntary self-regulation under the Press Complaints Commission which is run by newspaper editors and overseen by Ofcom, the regulator for televsion and radio journalists.
David Camerons response? Let's give the press another go at regulating themselves shall we?
In other news, The Sun newspaper found itself £400,000 lighter yesterday after an out of court settlement with x-factor judge Louis Walsh after it incorrectly accussed him of sexually assualting a man in a nightclub. 
Good call Dave, i think the press policing themselves just may work this time and i am sure that when the next election comes around, you can now count on their support.

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Avo Fellow Brits Abroad

It's cold, its raining, the Conservatives are back in Government and the economy is stuffed so it is hardly surprising we hadn't at some point considered leaving it all behind and moving abroad.
Last year 149,000 Brits did just that and waved goodbye to Blighty and washed up somewhere else with Australia the favourite destination.
The Home Office reports there are 4.7 million British citizens living in other peoples nations, probably moaning about the food and telling the natives what they are doing wrong, and it's Australia that has the greatest numbers of Brits cluttering up its landscape, with just over 1m of my fellow countrymen now calling sausages snags and wondering where they left their didgeridoo.    
The second favourite destination is the USA with 829,000 Brits forgetting some words have a letter u in them and almost blowing their hands off when they first handle a gun. 
The sun, sea and empty supermarket shelves of Spain comes third where 808,000 Brits now live and then Canada which has 608,000 trying to understand Ice Hockey and develop a taste for maple syrup.
Ireland 289,000, France 253,000, New Zealand 248,000, South Africa 219,000, Germany 97,000 and UAE 65,000 make up the top ten.
While i can understand the draw of a life of sunshine and sparkling seas, i look out of my window on Good Old Blightly and wonder just why 4.7 million Brits have given up all this for life elsewhere.
Then i remember its dark, cold, raining and the Conservatives are back in power. Hmmm, i wonder if they could squeeze another Brit into Pimpinbudgie, Queensland or Burrumbuttock, New South Wales?

Killing Cowell

Depeche Mode's Martin Gore has urged someone to shoot Simon Cowell.
Gore declared: 'I'm not advocating violence, but I think somebody should shoot Simon Cowell' which is an outrageous thing to say.
Beating him to within an inch of his life with a copy of 'Hallelujah' by Alexandra Burke and then burying him up to his neck in sand while made to listen to Joe McEldrey's 'The Climb' on repeat until the tide came in would be much fitting.

disclaimer: This site's author does not advocate the killing of Simon Cowell with a Joe McEldrey record and any upcoming death of Mr Cowell by way of an X-Factor winners CD is purely coincidental.

Monday, 26 November 2012

The Miracle Of Mumbai

Only Fools and Horses: The Miracle of Peckham - While in the local church, Del Boy witnesses a miracle when he notices that the a statue of the Virgin Mary on the altar appears to be weeping. Within days, reporters and cameramen from all over the world are in Peckham to cover the story when after a few more miracle weeping sessions, the priest realises that the miracles only occur when it is raining. Upon inspecting the church's roof, he finds that all of the lead tiles are missing.
Only Fools: The Miracle of Mumbai - Local people declared a miracle when tears began trickling down the face of a statue of Jesus at the local church. Locals began collecting the holy water and the Church of Our Lady of Velankanni began to promote it as a site of pilgrimage. On inspecting the Church's plumbing, it was discovered that the dripping water was due to clogged drainage pipes behind the wall where the statue stood.
Unlike Del Boy, the man who discovered the dodgy pipework received death threats, was charged with blasphemy and is now seeking exile in Finland as an arrest warrant was issued.
It seems that keeping up the cash flow from the miracle is more important than stopping the sewage flow which caused the miracle. I just hope that nobody is christened in it as i wouldn't want to be the vicar who has to explain to the parents why the water had a faint yellow tinge to it.

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Why Does Britain Keep Flooding?

The question everyone is asking lately is just what is going on with all these floods in the UK recently?
The Met Office put it down to torrential rain already falling on sodden ground creating flash floods and the large amount of water running off into rivers which rapidly expand and burst their banks.

The Environment Agency website states that 'as future assessments are completed it is expected that we will see a trend in the level of flood risk. These assessments are expected to show that flood risk is increasing'.
That answers the first half of the question but it doesn't explain the torrential rains that leads to the flooding. which only happened once or twice a decade previously. So what  has changed that we now get two or three major floods in Britain a year?
This year bought flood chaos in early summer to Northern Ireland, Wales and the South West, again in the North of England in September and now the South West has been badly hit again this past week. .
Historically, the UK has always suffered from winter floods but these occur after a slow, but relentless, build up of rain over months and by melting snow but modern day floods are happening out of 'flood season' and rapidly after sudden, torrential downpours.
The Flood Hazard Research Centre, said: 'We appear to be shifting to a situation where you get a lot of rain and you get surface water flooding — sudden rainfall is driving the flooding’.
A study at Newcastle University concluded storms have become twice as heavy since the Sixties — and the most torrential occur four times as often.
The last Government increased spending on flood defences but one of the first things the Coalition did after coming into power was slash the flood defence budget by 30 per cent so the required level of defence is missing combined with housing being built on flood plains so with nowhere for water to go, it enters our streets, gardens and homes.
Another reason offered is the amount of grass areas, a natural soak for rain, which have been paved over so more rain runs off the concreted areas into storm drains and into the already swollen rivers.
Why are we getting more rain? The experts who study the climate and the extreme weather events point towards our old foe global warming.
The Earth System Science Centre at the Penn State Department of Meteorology: 'There is no question in my mind that the "signal" of climate change has now emerged in our day-to-day weather. We are seeing the loading of the random weather dice toward more "sixes". We are seeing and feeling climate change'
Dr Peter Stott, head of climate monitoring and attribution, at the Met Office Centre: 'The globally warmer atmosphere now carries 4% more moisture over the oceans than in the 1970s and in many places this extra moisture would be expected to lead to increased rainfall when storms form over land'.
Dr Clare Goodess, senior researcher at the University of East Anglia's Climatic Research Unit: 'An anthropogenic influence has recently been detected over Northern Hemisphere land areas in the largest daily rainfall events experienced each year.
Michael Oppenheimer, professor of geosciences and international affairs at Princeton University's Woodrow Wilson School and Department of Geosciences: 'The link between extreme events which have occurred recently and the build-up of the greenhouse gases is best represented by the "loading the dice" analogy – as the world warms, the likelihood of occurrence (frequency), intensity, and/or geographic extent of many
types of extreme events is increasing. According to computer simulations of climate, the likelihood that such an event would occur was about doubled by the buildup of the greenhouse gases.
Harold Brooks, head of the mesoscale applications group at Noaa's National Severe Storms Laboratory: 'We understand that warming the planet will likely lead to a more intense water cycle, with heavier rain when it rains'.
Michael F. Wehner, staff scientist at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory: 'This risk of extreme weather has already changed significantly due to human induced global warming. While these events could have occurred without the human changes to the climate, it is important to know that the amount of climate change that we have experienced so far is very small to what is projected to occur by the middle and end of this century. By 2100, today's most extreme weather events will seem relatively normal.
NASA: 'All individual weather events observed could have happened prior to the human intervention in the climate system, however unlikely that may have been. However, if the question were posed as 'would these events have occurred if atmospheric carbon dioxide had remained at its pre-industrial level of 280 ppm?”, an appropriate answer in that case is 'almost certainly not'.

Worrying, the the European Commission’s Joint Research Centre report Long-term trend in global CO2 emissions show that the amount of CO2 emissions we pump into the atmosphere is still going up.
Sorry to the flooded parts of Britain but it seems that due to a warming atmosphere and a cut in the flood defence budget, you will be paddling in your living rooms for quite a while yet.