Shhh...I Don't Think Anybody Noticed Rishi

It's OK, Rishi, due to the coronation i don't think anyone noticed that your Conservative Party lost over 1,000 seats in the local Elections on Thursday.
Your own spokesman announced before the voting that if you lost 500 it would be awful but if you lost 1,000 it would be catastrophic which we all assumed was an attempt to manage expectations as never in your wildest dreams did you expect to lose that many and you could then deem it some sort of 'success' as you didn't hit the 1,000 losses figure but for that to work you have to avoid doing worse than the lowest expectations you set in the first place, which you never, you went stomping past it.
Some Conservative Councillors didn't try and sugar coat it, they came out and straight up blamed Boris Johnson and Liz Truss for doing the damage to the Conservative brand but some did come out and try to explain away why the nation had flipped them a massive middle digit with Andrea Leadsome being the best.
'What the county is clearly telling us' explained the former Secretary of State for Business 'is that they want more of Rishi Sunak’s policies' which even for the most deluded is a hard sell considering the country had just clearly told the Rishi Sunak Government to feck orf.  
Special mention to John Redwood who insisted that the losses were all because of the party not being nasty enough to foreigners and for abandoning the Liz Truss economic model, the model which tanked the UK economy and shoved up everybody's interest rates, that economic model.
As for Keir Starmer's Labour, with the country finally waking up to how awful the Conservative and their right wing political ideology has been, as long as he isn't photographed punching orphans in the face with a kitten, he should order some curtain samples for Downing Street.

Raining On The King's Parade

If there is one thing Britain can still do it's pomp and circumstance for our Royal's whether they die or get coronated and who would begrudge us spending £100 million on a man who is worth an estimated £1.2 billion and has a choice of castles and palaces to reside in.
I did watch about 15 minutes of this morning while eating my Cornflakes and that was before the guests turned up and the commentator was madly paddling to fill time and she described the Coronation chair which i thought was a wind up at first because apparently over the past 1,000 years choir boys had decided what the seat of King's needed was some graffiti which is why scratched all over it was the 15th Century version of 'Aubrey Woz 'Ere' and 'Giles is a Poof'.
Encased under the chair is the Stone of Scone which the English pinched off the Scots in the 13th Century and gave back to them in 1996 which is most unlike us giving stuff back to the nations we have pilfered it from but hand it back we did although they have been kind enough to lend it back to us for King Charles derriere to hover over.   
So far so gushing but i risked a Cornflake related incident lurching for the remote control when they got onto the spoon used to anoint the sovereign with holy oil, which was described as 'a very special one' and 'the world’s most important spoon'. Admittedly ignorant in the history of spoon's, i am in no position to say if there have been more important versions of this particular utensil but i am of the opinion ne spoon is pretty much like another, i could use the one languishing in my cereal bowl and it would do exactly the same job. Obviously i would like the milk off it first, im not an animal.     
So instead of spending the day watching our new king on tv, i went to see my granddaughter for the day and spent the day watching Miss Rachel on their TV instead so when she gets older and asks me if i went to the Kings Coronation i can say no, i spent the day singing the Icky Icky Sticky Sticky Bubble Gum Song with you.  
I did feel a bit sorry for the many Coronation parties which had to be cancelled but the forecasters all week have been saying that it was going to tonk down with rain today and tonk down it did so they can;t say they weren't warned to move it inside or leave it to the next day when it was supposed to be dry.
Anyway, congratulations to the new King and don't forget to give the Scots their stone back when you are finished with it. And don't drop it!

Today Is...The Eiffel Tower Is Officially Opened

For something which was only meant to last 20 years, the Eiffel Tower hasn't done bad although if you want to climb to the top of it, you had better set aside a day because as the most visited monument in the World with 7 million visitors a year, the first time we went and our line was 6 hours long and apparently that was an average day so we gave up and went for a trip down the Seine instead.
We did have better luck the second time and had a wait of about 15 minutes but that was a few weeks after the Paris Bataclan Theatre massacre and Paris was pretty much deserted although you do make a handy target for the tat salesmen and the people trying to con money out of you by signing up for a fake donation.
At 1083 feet tall and weighing 10,100 tons, it is impressive and it was the invention of radio which saved it as the Paris authorities discovered that if you stick a radio mast 1083 foot up in the air you get great wireless signal transmission.
It is France’s famous symbol in the world and named after the engineer Gustave Eiffel, whose company designed and built the tower for the 1889 World's Fair although it wasn't that popular at the time and many French artists and intellectuals couldn't wait for it to be torn down including one man in particular, an Austrian named Victor Lustig who almost pulled off the biggest and best con of all time when he tried to sell it for scrap, not once but twice.
Using some stationery he had knocked up made to look like it was from the French government saying that the Eiffel Tower was going to be sold for scrap, he toured scrap dealers until he found one gullible enough to hand over £70,000 for his acquisition of 10,100 tonnes of scrap metal which never arrived.
With his bank balance look very rosy, he tried it again a year later but a couple of the dealers checked with the Government first, was told it was a con and informed the Police so he fled to the U.S. where he conned Al Capone out of $5000 so balls made of the same steel as the Eiffel Tower obviously.
Some would say as it costs €40 to walk up the Tower (the lifts are either permanently full or not working), it is still being used to con people out of money but it is still a very impressive piece of architecture.

Today Is...International Day of the Midwife

The word Midwife originates from the old English word mid (with) wife (Women) while the term 'HOW FECKIN' MUCH???' originates in US Maternity wards on receipt of the bill.
The differences between pregnancy and childbirth in the UK and in the USA are amazing and it starts with the baby Shower which are still relatively rare in the UK, not even so much as a KFC Bargain Bucket between friends to congratulate the new soon-to-be Mum and the popular gender-reveal parties are rarer still over here, one of those things we have heard about but nobody has ever been to one.
The next difference is at the actual delivery with UK Mum's almost exclusively being dealt with by the brilliant Midwives while in the States it is almost always a doctor who attends to the business of the delivery.
After the little bundle of joy is bought home there is the issue of maternity leave with the US being the only country in the developed world not to offer nationwide paid maternity leave entitlement, instead US mothers are entitled to 12 weeks unpaid leave whereas in the UK, women are entitled to 39 weeks paid statutory maternity leave, and fathers two weeks.
When it comes to feeding, breast is certainly best in US where 50% exclusively breastfeed their babies after birth, a figure which is at 25% in the UK but there is one huge, breath-taking difference to giving birth in the UK and in the US, the cost.
The vast majority of UK women opt for free care under the tax funded NHS so all the above costs nothing, the premis being that the mother would have paid for the cost by the tax they have paid, and will pay, into the system.
In America, the bill is between £2,501 and £28,254 for an uncomplicated, natural birth, the cost rising to between £6,315 to £53,817 for a Cesarean section according to the British Medical Journal.
Americans are far more likely to rely on private insurance to fund their health care. However, many millions don't have health insurance, according to the US Census Bureau and for those who have, insurance companies shell out for only a third of the charges so they still have a massive bill to take home along with their baby.
I would guess the thought of the rapidly dwindling bank balance before you even leave the hospital is an effective contraceptive to many American families and just makes you appreciate the National Health Service and our midwives even more.

Today Is...Star Wars Day

In the film 'Revenge of The Nerds', the brainiac's end up stealing the girl off the jock, winning the talent competition and inspiring the school to raise up in the cause of nerds everywhere.
Outside of the film world, all nerds get are atomic wedges and largely avoided but for one day of the year the geeks, dorks and nerds stop grumbling about how Jean-Luc Picard should speak with a French accent, turn off the Sci-Fi channel and come together to celebrate Star Wars Day.
I'm fine with that, can't stand the film myself, but each to their own. I imagine there are some people who don't like the things that i like and that is fine also. Extremely weird but fine.
The IT nerds at work are very helpful. Yes you have to listen to them moan about how the inadequate air conditioning affects both the server and plays havoc with their asthma but that is a small price to pay for them fixing your mobile after you spilt coffee all over it or retrieving that important file after you accidentally formatted the hard-drive.
Star Wars day is different though because every nerd i came within speaking distance of today said 'May The 4th Be With You' while excitedly fondling their light-sabres. Every. Single. One. All. Day.
Yes, very funny, now please fix my monitor in perfect silence or you will be removing it from your Wookie.

Today Is...World Press Freedom Day

Today is all about the UN highlighting the vital role of a free press for democracy with the UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres saying that: 'No democracy is complete without access to transparent and reliable information' but in the current climate obtaining that information can be deadly.
In the last two decades, a staggering total of 1,668 journalists have been killed worldwide during the course of their work, 58 in 2022 with the most dangerous countries to be a journalist being Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan, Yemen, Mexico, Russia, Ukraine, Palestine and Somalia.
There are 65 journalists currently being held hostage and a record total of 533 are currently detained worldwide with those worst nations being Russia, China and Iran.
The International Federation of Journalists (IFJ) reason that increasing intolerance to reporting, populism, as well as corruption and crime are important factors as they contribute to an environment in which there are more journalists killed for covering their communities, cities and countries, than for reporting in armed conflict zones.
The Committee to Protect Journalists, says anti-press rhetoric has become endemic in many countries, pointing in particular to the Philippines and the US where: 'Online harassment and its very real threats to journalists, especially women, has compounded the already challenging environment'.
In its World Press Freedom Index, Reporters Without Borders (RSF) describes the situation in the US as 'problematic' and adding 'Never before have US journalists been subjected to so many death threats'.
RSF also raise the issue of journalism in Mexico where collusion between officials and organised crime pose a grave threat to journalist's safety.
Journalism is far more than simple fact reporting, it shines a bright light on the places where some shady people in power don't want it shining which makes it so vitally important to all of us.

Today Is...International Harry Potter Day

Coming home one night i saw a witch sitting on the kerb sipping something out of a flask. A bit further along there was a wizard with a long white beard leaning against a wall chatting to another wizard.
After checking i was still awake it suddenly dawned on me that the reason there was so many strange sights about that night was due to the release of another Harry Potter book.
I have not read any of JK Rowling's books and only saw the first film because we were given free tickets but anything that can inspire children to queue up outside a bookshop of all places has to be good.
In an era of Smart Phones and Playstations, i love the idea that a good old fashioned book can still grasp the imagination of kids and encourage them to get there nose into literature.
The Costa Book Awards have issued a list of the top books that bookworms like to read again and again and the Harry Potter series tops the list and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the seventh novel in the series, was the biggest and fastest-selling book ever written. Waterstone's sold over two million copies on the first day alone.
Books have inspired forces for both good and bad and can be powerful instruments, tools, and weapons so if Rowling got kids engaged in reading again it would of been worth hearing kids shouting 'Wingardium Leviosa' every 30 seconds for the past 15 years and as a extra bonus the books got right up the nose of the religious folk for corrupting childish minds.
Considering the main book the Christian muggles is used to force their religious ideology onto young minds includes dragons, unicorns and talking snakes, it is a bit of a reach even for them, Furnunculus Curse on 'em!

$10 or $25, It's Still No

I never got around to cancelling the American Democrat emails i receive on a regular basis due to them believing that England is somewhere in Pennsylvania and it always came with a request for a donation of $10.
A quick recap, it all began with Bernie Sanders team emailed me a few times and after one where they asked what could they do for me, i wrote back saying that my recycling bin still hasn't been replaced after it was stolen weeks ago and the light outside my garage has been broken since June Amazingly, after months of waiting, the light was fixed days later so in my mind dear old Bernie fixed it for me and ever since i have been a regular recipient of emails from Joe, Kamala and an assortment of Democrats and whereas before they had a subtle DONATE button after a few paragraphs of waffle, now they are just
straight out asking for a donation and where it was once $10, it is now $25.
I know there is a cost of living crisis but a such an increase seems a bit much especially as you don't have an option to donate however much you want, it's $25 or nothing but as a non-yankee doodle i will contribute as much now as i have previously which is a big fat nothing but i can offer something more valuable than financial help to Joe Biden and his team which is we had Ron DeSantis here the other day and he appears to be just as big as moron as Donald Trump so if you face either of those chumps, stay classy and you can't lose. That and use Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez more in your campaign, she's the future and very popular with the Millennials.
As an honorary Pennsylvanian, i wish you good luck in your upcoming election and Go Steelers!! (in whatever sport it is that you play)

4 Day Week, 3 Day Weekend!!!

The results are in from the World’s largest trial of a 4 day week and they found that maybe a four day working week is not such a bad idea after all.
The pilot program included over 60 companies and almost 3,000 workers in a six-month trial and overall results show that almost every organisation will stick to a 4 day week post-trial, with 91% definitely continuing or planning to continue, and a further 4% leaning towards continuing. Only 4% of participants are definitely not continuing.
Companies rated their overall experience and with revenue rising by 35%, less absenteeism due to stress, burnout and fatigue they were very happy while employees stated their health and well-being improved, with significant increases in physical and mental health and overall life and job satisfaction while problems with sleep declined.
It is a simple idea as you get the same pay as if you worked 5 days but you only work 4 days. The only downside is that you still have to work for 4 days.
I mentioned this to my boss and expected something like if that the same work can be done in four days rather than five can't you work at that pace for all five days but after giving it some thought what she actually said was 'What this shows is that people were doing an entire days worth of f***ing around every week'.
I don't think my place will be bringing it in anytime soon.

Today Is...May Day

May Day is a European festival of ancient origins marking the beginning of summer, usually celebrated on 1 May, around halfway between the spring equinox and summer solstice and usually involves gathering wildflowers and green branches, weaving floral garlands, crowning a May Queen and setting up a Maypole, May Tree or May Bush, around which people dance and that's where it all gets a bit weird.
As with most festivals, May Day began life as a Roman festival, this one to Flora, the Roman goddess of flowers and Dionysus and Aphrodite although as with Roman festivals, it was less about gathering wildflowers and weaving garlands and more about deflowering the local females, the festival was known as Orgies which doesn't really much more explanation, it says exactly what it is on the tin, or up against the side of the house or floor of the shed..you get the general idea.  
As many Roman festivals such as Christmas and Easter got sneakily assumed by the Religious types, they also tried the same trick with May Day and tried to make it about the Virgin Mary or Jesus's stepdad Joseph but as it didn't involve alcohol or presents, the idea kinda fell by the wayside although considering what us English do on May Day, the Catholics may have dodged a bullet, a jingly Morris Dancing Bullet.
I once took a foreign friend to a traditional village May Day celebration and she watched grown men with face paint and bells on their legs, holding ribbons in one hand and waving handkerchiefs in the other all while skipping around a pole, after watching in silence for a few minutes, and after reassuring her that they were doing it voluntarily and nobody was holding their family at gun point, her only utterance was 'Your all feckin' mad' and yes i guess we are but at least we are not having to wash the sticky shed floor with a mop and bucket the next day anymore which is something.