American comedies have a fairly decent record this side of the Atlantic. Friends was a phenomenon but we have also taken to Cheers, MASH, Happy Days and even Frasier. All very funny but once a dark cloud hung over the star spangled banner. A black, Seinfeld shaped cloud.
It was the early 90s and the BBC announced a hot new American comedy that had taken the states by storm.
Anticipation grew and here it was at the peak viewing time, the show the BBC had cleared the decks for, Seinfeld. Anticipation caved, the BBC moved it to a later time slot, then onto its second channel and before the end of the first series it was doing the graveyard shift, shunted to the time slot usually reserved for art shows.
I don't know why Seinfeld tanked so badly here, but for me it just wasn't funny. It was smarmy, pretentious and whiny and apart from Kramer (who always reminded me of the doc from the Back to the future films), i just wanted to bang their heads against that fake wall Seinfeld stood in front of not being funny.
Rumours are that there is talk of reviving the programme. Don't do it America. The World is just starting to like you again after George W Bush, don't go throwing it all away by bringing back the other George and his gang.
If you are going to remake anything from your television past, bring back Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Monday, 12 October 2009
Internet Football
There was an International football match on at the weekend, Ukraine v England.
Exclusively on the Internet as a pay-per-view event, the company selling it had an audience of 400,000 who were willing to pay the £11.99 to watch it.
An England game on Sky Sports draws a viewing figure of around 2m, while on the free ITV or BBC figures are around the 8m mark.
The Swiss company running it had billed it as a success and a glimpse of the future but the fans calling the radio stations i listened to today complained about the glitches in the feed and delays in the commentary.
Football could be facing the very same problem that Boxing had in the 90s and Cricket is facing today. It can either perform to a small audience but get well paid for it or a large audience but the financial benefits are not quite so good.
It doesn't take a genius to work out which way this will go, the pound signs are already spinning in the FA's eyes.
Exclusively on the Internet as a pay-per-view event, the company selling it had an audience of 400,000 who were willing to pay the £11.99 to watch it.
An England game on Sky Sports draws a viewing figure of around 2m, while on the free ITV or BBC figures are around the 8m mark.
The Swiss company running it had billed it as a success and a glimpse of the future but the fans calling the radio stations i listened to today complained about the glitches in the feed and delays in the commentary.
Football could be facing the very same problem that Boxing had in the 90s and Cricket is facing today. It can either perform to a small audience but get well paid for it or a large audience but the financial benefits are not quite so good.
It doesn't take a genius to work out which way this will go, the pound signs are already spinning in the FA's eyes.
Saturday, 10 October 2009
Giving The BNP Enough Rope
The BBC has provoked controversy by giving the British National Party a platform for the first time on its top political programme, Question Time.
Nick Griffin, the BNP leader, is due to appear in two weeks time although who he will be seated alongside is questionable as MP's from all the parties are still undecided if they will appear on the show with him.
I can understand this, the man is a vile racist and bigot, but my thinking would be to let him spout off in front of millions of viewers. Put him front and centre in the glare of the spotlight with all eyes and ears trained on him and let him say what he thinks. From what we have heard from him so far as he spouts forth from the sidelines, he will hang himself if we give him enough rope.
Not that i think for a minute that he will come on and begin ranting against blacks or Asians, he will be much to wise to fall for that, but it will be impossible for him to keep the true colours of his party hidden during the evening.
It is much to easy to dismiss him as the leader of an extreme party with limited appeal to a small but vocal bunch of ignorant morons. The current thinking is that if they ignore him long enough he will go away but there will always be a small band of like minded souls willing to entertain his ideas.
I say put him on prime time TV and question him about his policy on immigration (pay them to go home), his view on capital punishment (bring it back) and defence (compulsory national service).
Ridicule will damage him and his supporters much more than just pretending he isn't there ever will.
Nick Griffin, the BNP leader, is due to appear in two weeks time although who he will be seated alongside is questionable as MP's from all the parties are still undecided if they will appear on the show with him.
I can understand this, the man is a vile racist and bigot, but my thinking would be to let him spout off in front of millions of viewers. Put him front and centre in the glare of the spotlight with all eyes and ears trained on him and let him say what he thinks. From what we have heard from him so far as he spouts forth from the sidelines, he will hang himself if we give him enough rope.
Not that i think for a minute that he will come on and begin ranting against blacks or Asians, he will be much to wise to fall for that, but it will be impossible for him to keep the true colours of his party hidden during the evening.
It is much to easy to dismiss him as the leader of an extreme party with limited appeal to a small but vocal bunch of ignorant morons. The current thinking is that if they ignore him long enough he will go away but there will always be a small band of like minded souls willing to entertain his ideas.
I say put him on prime time TV and question him about his policy on immigration (pay them to go home), his view on capital punishment (bring it back) and defence (compulsory national service).
Ridicule will damage him and his supporters much more than just pretending he isn't there ever will.
Ignoble Nobel
It is hard to think of a much more peaceful man than Mahatma Gandhi and it's probably hard to think of a much more unpeaceful man than Adolf Hitler but no prizes for guessing which of these two was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Common thinking is that it was the war he started that killed millions that did it for him in 1939. So close Adolf.
The choice of Nobel Peace Prize winners has always been a source of delight and this years winner, for 'extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples', is Barack Obama who of course is fully deserving of his prize for all he has done for World peace.
He's...erm...well he did...um...if it wasn't for him...huh...and that time he...hmmm.
Truth is the deadline for nominations for the peace prize was February 1, so the President won it for his achievements in the first 11 days of his presidency.
A suitable embarrassed Obama has admitted that he does not feel he deserves to be in the company of other Nobel Peace Prize winners, a notion that almost everyone except the Nobel Prize committee agrees with.
They seem to have awarded it to him for talking peace, while continuing to wage war. Those Afghan villages won't just explode by themselves you know, someone has to order those drones overhead.
Best thing he could do is politely decline the prize, humbly pointing out that he is unworthy and has much yet to accomplish. He gets all the credit, but shows that this is a joke of an award.
I would just like to take a moment to say that i want to see world peace, an end to war, no more famine and wealth for all in every nation.
There, and if that doesn't see me in Stockholm for next years presentation, plan b is to invade Poland.
The choice of Nobel Peace Prize winners has always been a source of delight and this years winner, for 'extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples', is Barack Obama who of course is fully deserving of his prize for all he has done for World peace.
He's...erm...well he did...um...if it wasn't for him...huh...and that time he...hmmm.
Truth is the deadline for nominations for the peace prize was February 1, so the President won it for his achievements in the first 11 days of his presidency.
A suitable embarrassed Obama has admitted that he does not feel he deserves to be in the company of other Nobel Peace Prize winners, a notion that almost everyone except the Nobel Prize committee agrees with.
They seem to have awarded it to him for talking peace, while continuing to wage war. Those Afghan villages won't just explode by themselves you know, someone has to order those drones overhead.
Best thing he could do is politely decline the prize, humbly pointing out that he is unworthy and has much yet to accomplish. He gets all the credit, but shows that this is a joke of an award.
I would just like to take a moment to say that i want to see world peace, an end to war, no more famine and wealth for all in every nation.
There, and if that doesn't see me in Stockholm for next years presentation, plan b is to invade Poland.
Thursday, 8 October 2009
You Not Looking At Me?
There are some films that you are destined never to watch. Without trying, i have managed to never see Casablanca, Citizen Kane or Schindler's list. It was only a couple of years ago that i sat through the Sound of Music in its entirety. I made it 40 years before clapping eyes on 2001: A Space Odyssey.
All these films are regarded as classics and i should probably feel ashamed that i have never made time for Lawrence of Arabia but found it for Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
An Orange survey has revealed that The Godfather tops a poll of films that most people claim to have watched, but never have. It is followed by Dirty Dancing, The Shawshank Redemption, Taxi Driver, Gone With the Wind and It's a Wonderful Life.
Of these six, i will admit to not having seen Dirty Dancing and having watched It's Wonderful Life more times than is probably healthy. As for the rest i would say that those who haven't seen them are not missing anything in particular except the scene in Taxi Driver where the Robert De Nero character does the 'you talking to me?' scene which everyone has said to someone in the Travis Bickle style at some point in their lives even if they didn't know where it came from.
My general rule of thumb is that if the film includes the word 'Star' in the title, it can quite safely be left alone. Same goes for if the cast list includes the name John Claude Van Damme.
All these films are regarded as classics and i should probably feel ashamed that i have never made time for Lawrence of Arabia but found it for Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
An Orange survey has revealed that The Godfather tops a poll of films that most people claim to have watched, but never have. It is followed by Dirty Dancing, The Shawshank Redemption, Taxi Driver, Gone With the Wind and It's a Wonderful Life.
Of these six, i will admit to not having seen Dirty Dancing and having watched It's Wonderful Life more times than is probably healthy. As for the rest i would say that those who haven't seen them are not missing anything in particular except the scene in Taxi Driver where the Robert De Nero character does the 'you talking to me?' scene which everyone has said to someone in the Travis Bickle style at some point in their lives even if they didn't know where it came from.
My general rule of thumb is that if the film includes the word 'Star' in the title, it can quite safely be left alone. Same goes for if the cast list includes the name John Claude Van Damme.
Monday, 5 October 2009
Let's All Move To Norway
My plan has always been to take early retirement and go live in one of the Scandinavian countries. Sweden probably as they have the nicest flag and Santa lives there but i certainly don't plan to spend my twilight years licking stamps with Queen Elizabeth's head on them.
Anyone looking to live elsewhere in the World, the Human Development Report is always a good source of information as it lists the best, and worst places, in the World and according to the 2009 rankings, its Norway we should all be heading towards as it takes the prize as the best place to live.
Australia is second and Iceland third, Canada fourth with Sweden seventh.
I love France (8th), and i would move there like a shot if they removed all the French first and Switzerland (9th) would be ideal if it wasn't for the frightening prospect of running into Phil Collins.
The United States is 13th with the UK 21st.
At the other end of the scale, Niger, Afghanistan and Sierra Leone are all to be given a wide berth although the continent of Africa should be avoided in general as it almost dominates the bottom end of the chart.
The 182 countries were ranked according to the quality of life their citizens experienced and as 3 of the top 4 are well known for their snow, it seems the secret to living long and prospering is to move somewhere cold.
Sunday, 4 October 2009
Silver Lining To A Conservative Government
It is a depressing thought that in around six months time, Britain will be under the rule of a right wing, Conservative Government.The Labour Party may try and point to a wide range of reasons why it is being so unceremoniously booted out of office after 3 terms, but it all boils down to Tony Blair and the Iraq War.
Blair dragged his party to the right, cosied up to the most reviled American President in living memory and then sold us all down the river over Iraq. Labour Party membership is in free-fall and they lag so far behind the Conservatives in the polls that it is hard to imagine anything short of David Cameron retiring and Margaret Thatcher taking over to stop us suffering 5 years of Conservatism.
While it's hard to see any silver lining to this particularly black cloud, the one thing the left can cling to is that the blue party have promised to block Tony Blair becoming EU President.
That would be the same Tony Blair who sent UK troops into 5 conflicts during his 10 years and was pushed out the door by his own Party.
You have to admire his brass neck for even considering going for the job especially as he is widely considered as a war criminal by many across the continent who should be awaiting his turn in the Hague rather than angling for the top job in Europe.
It is hard to think of anyone with a worse track record who is less trustworthy to hand the job to, at least his god bothering partner in (war) crime(s) Bush had the decency to slink off into obscurity, Yes, five years under David Cameron and his Conservative Party is going to be unbearable but at least we won't have to suffer Blair and his ghastly wife with their smug faces appearing all over the media again.
That's the thought we should keep in our minds as we slip into the nightmare of William Hague acting as our nations Foreign Secretary.
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Hard Things Made Easy #1
I've never played Guitar Hero or any of those type of games but i'm all for them if they introduce guitar music to a whole new generation. Hopefully it will inspire a few more Green Days and Nirvana's and save us all from bland Simon Cowell influenced pop which bores me to tears. We went through that in the late 80s and i don't want ever want to go back to the days of Take That and Backstreet Boys dominating things.
What games like Guitar Hero don't do, is teach you how to play the chords needed to bang out a tune on a guitar. You may be able to play Sweet Child O' Mine perfectly on the X Box, but you are never going to be able to match Slash without years of practice. Frustrating i know. When i first got a guitar i wanted to turn the amp up to 10 and thrash out the riff to Holiday In Cambodia. Not so much playing ethnicky jazz to parade my snazz, more a bloody racket which had the parents shouting up the stairs to tell me to turn that noise down.
I had a very good teacher who would spend most of the time going through how to make an E Chord, then an A chord and finish off with a well known song that had those chords in and it is amazing how many songs are comprised of just a few chords. Every time you get your head around a chord, you add thousands of songs to your repertoire. I know perfectly good musicians who get by just knowing the main 5 chords E, A, G, C and D. The whole punk movement was built upon musicians who only knew these five so within a few weeks of practising, the moving between the chords is the trickiest bit, you have the tools to play along to pretty much anything by The Ramones, Clash, Sex Pistols or Green Day.
Many people are happy to stay at that level and strum along to their favourite songs, while others move on to add further chords to their arsenal.
What most people are keen to learn are the face melting guitar solo's which are the raison d'être of Guitar Hero. I don't know a quick and cheerful way to learn these apart from using sites like Ultimate Guitar Tabs to start with to find the Tabs which show you diagrams of where your fingers go and what strings to play.
My advice for anyone making the leap from Guitar Hero to a real guitar is to start with learning those 5 common chords and you will be on a par with many famous musicians who have made much of moving around within this range of chords.
Right then, hold down that E string at the 8th fret and 1..2..3..4...So you been to school for a year or two and you know you've seen it all.
What games like Guitar Hero don't do, is teach you how to play the chords needed to bang out a tune on a guitar. You may be able to play Sweet Child O' Mine perfectly on the X Box, but you are never going to be able to match Slash without years of practice. Frustrating i know. When i first got a guitar i wanted to turn the amp up to 10 and thrash out the riff to Holiday In Cambodia. Not so much playing ethnicky jazz to parade my snazz, more a bloody racket which had the parents shouting up the stairs to tell me to turn that noise down.
I had a very good teacher who would spend most of the time going through how to make an E Chord, then an A chord and finish off with a well known song that had those chords in and it is amazing how many songs are comprised of just a few chords. Every time you get your head around a chord, you add thousands of songs to your repertoire. I know perfectly good musicians who get by just knowing the main 5 chords E, A, G, C and D. The whole punk movement was built upon musicians who only knew these five so within a few weeks of practising, the moving between the chords is the trickiest bit, you have the tools to play along to pretty much anything by The Ramones, Clash, Sex Pistols or Green Day.
Many people are happy to stay at that level and strum along to their favourite songs, while others move on to add further chords to their arsenal.
What most people are keen to learn are the face melting guitar solo's which are the raison d'être of Guitar Hero. I don't know a quick and cheerful way to learn these apart from using sites like Ultimate Guitar Tabs to start with to find the Tabs which show you diagrams of where your fingers go and what strings to play.
My advice for anyone making the leap from Guitar Hero to a real guitar is to start with learning those 5 common chords and you will be on a par with many famous musicians who have made much of moving around within this range of chords.
Right then, hold down that E string at the 8th fret and 1..2..3..4...So you been to school for a year or two and you know you've seen it all.
Tuesday, 29 September 2009
Belatedly Punishing Polanski
For me the Roman Polanski arrest is outrageous. Outrageous that it has taken this long to get him. Here is a man who gave a thirteen year old girl drugs and alcohol and then went on to perform, to quote the 1977 charges, child molestation, unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor, rape by use of drugs, oral copulation and sodomy before skipping the country.
How anyone could even consider leaping to the defence of this paedophile is beyond me but leap they have.
The French culture minister, Frederic Mitterrand, says he is 'dumbfounded' by Polanski's 'absolutely dreadful' detention in Switzerland, declaring that it made no sense for the director to be thrown to the lions for an ancient story. He then went on to berate America for hounding him.
Most disappointing is actress Whoopi Goldberg who has plummeted in my eyes by making the excuse that whatever he was guilty of it wasn't "rape-rape".
She said: "I know it wasn't rape-rape. It was something else but I don't believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and when they let him out he was like, 'You know what, this guy's going to give me a hundred years in jail. I'm not staying.' So that's why he left."
How can it even enter someones mind to make excuses for a rapist and paedophile so Whoopi has just, i would hope, struck the death knell for her own career.
Being rich and famous should be not be any defence for anyone and if there is any justice, Polanski will be belatedly punished for his crimes.
Whoopi, you are a ignorant fool.
How anyone could even consider leaping to the defence of this paedophile is beyond me but leap they have.
The French culture minister, Frederic Mitterrand, says he is 'dumbfounded' by Polanski's 'absolutely dreadful' detention in Switzerland, declaring that it made no sense for the director to be thrown to the lions for an ancient story. He then went on to berate America for hounding him.
Most disappointing is actress Whoopi Goldberg who has plummeted in my eyes by making the excuse that whatever he was guilty of it wasn't "rape-rape".
She said: "I know it wasn't rape-rape. It was something else but I don't believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and and when they let him out he was like, 'You know what, this guy's going to give me a hundred years in jail. I'm not staying.' So that's why he left."
How can it even enter someones mind to make excuses for a rapist and paedophile so Whoopi has just, i would hope, struck the death knell for her own career.
Being rich and famous should be not be any defence for anyone and if there is any justice, Polanski will be belatedly punished for his crimes.
Whoopi, you are a ignorant fool.
Friday, 25 September 2009
On The Path To War With Iran
It's 2003. George W Bush and Tony Blair are all over the media telling us that Saddam has Weapons of Mass Destruction and must be stopped by any means necessary. Meanwhile, in North Korea, Kim Jong ill is jumping up and down shouting that he is building nuclear weapons. Saddam, WMD-less as it turned out, was turfed out and his country pillaged. Kim Jong Ill, proud owner of a gleaming new nuclear arsenal, continues to stomp around unhindered today, still making a loud noise.
The conclusion that we can safely take from this is if you have nuclear weapons, we will leave you alone.
Now concerning Iran, i come from the angle that it is the highest form of hypocrisy for us to threaten it while we look to upgrade our own hundreds of nuclear weapons.
But Iran can't be trusted goes the usual cry from those not content until there is an Iranian shaped hole in the Middle East. I think that the last decade or so has shown that when it comes to the honour stakes, we haven't covered ourselves in glory. Think of Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan.
The faint war drum grew much louder today when it was revealed Iran was building a second uranium enrichment plant.
Obama accused Iran of concealing the covert site "for years" and Gordon Brown called it a 'shocking level of deception'.
Very true, or it would be if they hadn't known about it for years and only chose to reveal it now when they are trying to get tougher sanctions. Sanctions that China will veto and Russia are not keen on which leaves us back on that path of bypassing the UN to attack which was previously taken by Bush and Blair over Iraq.
This is the US and the UK, those two again you notice, shifting into let's have a war mode.
They have began talking up the pressure in an effort to turn public opinion against Iran although they have no evidence and they are spinning and lying from the get go.
We are being talked into another situation here which will move along at pace and lead directly to us bombing yet another Middle Eastern country.
Obama promised change but it seems nothing actually has except for Bush and Blair we can now read Obama and Brown with Israel once again cheer leading.
Let's not be fooled again.
The conclusion that we can safely take from this is if you have nuclear weapons, we will leave you alone.
Now concerning Iran, i come from the angle that it is the highest form of hypocrisy for us to threaten it while we look to upgrade our own hundreds of nuclear weapons.
But Iran can't be trusted goes the usual cry from those not content until there is an Iranian shaped hole in the Middle East. I think that the last decade or so has shown that when it comes to the honour stakes, we haven't covered ourselves in glory. Think of Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan.
The faint war drum grew much louder today when it was revealed Iran was building a second uranium enrichment plant.
Obama accused Iran of concealing the covert site "for years" and Gordon Brown called it a 'shocking level of deception'.
Very true, or it would be if they hadn't known about it for years and only chose to reveal it now when they are trying to get tougher sanctions. Sanctions that China will veto and Russia are not keen on which leaves us back on that path of bypassing the UN to attack which was previously taken by Bush and Blair over Iraq.
This is the US and the UK, those two again you notice, shifting into let's have a war mode.
They have began talking up the pressure in an effort to turn public opinion against Iran although they have no evidence and they are spinning and lying from the get go.
We are being talked into another situation here which will move along at pace and lead directly to us bombing yet another Middle Eastern country.
Obama promised change but it seems nothing actually has except for Bush and Blair we can now read Obama and Brown with Israel once again cheer leading.
Let's not be fooled again.
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