Friday 1 June 2007

Oh, It IS A Mars Bar In Your Pocket

When somebody has closely studied 11,531 penises they either answer to the name of Miss P. Hilton or they are a Scientist.
Luckily, Dr Kevan Wylie is from the Royal Hallamshire Hospital and has been researching 'small penis syndrome' and discovered that almost 50% of men worrying about the size of their tiddler.
The report also found no evidence that penis-lengthening tools such as vacuum devices worked and the positive results of surgery to extend the length are lacking.
The survey found evidence of different practices around the world, including hanging weights from the penis and encouraging snakes to bite it with the hope it will enlarge.
Dr Wylie said: "It is very common for men to worry about the size of their penis and it is important that these concerns aren't dismissed as this can heighten concerns and anxieties."
I feel that us women can do our bit to ease the concerns of that precious flower we call men when it comes to sexual matters, and this quote from Rachel Green in Friends is perfect.
"And just so you know, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to everyone, and it IS a big deal".Don't pretend you didn't know that already guys.

11 comments:

Deadman said...

As a friend of mine once said to his (now ex) wife, "Who gives a shit what size it is? It gets me off..."

Anonymous said...

"Tiddler?"

Nothing called a "tiddler" is ever going to seem large, no matter what the tape measure says.

"encouraging snakes to bite it"

Where the hell is THAT??? It's Texas, isn't it?

Cheezy said...

As the great Richie Benaud once said during one of his inimitable cricket commentaries - after an unfortunate batsman had just been hit in the groinal area... "Oh lord, take away the pain but leave the swelling".

Unknown said...

I can't stop laughing at "tiddler" :p That description in itself doesn't give a GRAND impression does it - ok, ill stop there :D

Jodie Kash said...

tiddler...that will so become a part of my vocabulary.

What about the recent urban legend that Mick Jagger hisself turned to some odd, ancient practice of allowing bees to sting his twig in the hopes to gain girth? Yikes.

Falling on a bruise said...

If his twig swelled as much as his lips then whoever his girlfriend is at this time is a very lucky girl.
I was hoping somebody else was going to mention it but nobody has so far so i guess i will have to. Guns, big cars and compensating. Any truth?

The Fez Monkey said...

Great ... now you tell me. And I just ordered 100 bees.

Ook ook

Anonymous said...

men worry about the size of their wang. women worry about everything - hair, lipstick, nail varnish, mascara, eye lashes, shoes, panty lines, boob size, butt size, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

might want to pick a topic other than male insecurity since we females have our share plus...

anon2

O' Tim said...

As Brit penis slang goes, I prefer "The Old Chap."

Falling on a bruise said...

There are lots of slang terms for the hampton but i don't want to list them because it might pop up in google search results and i do not want to be known as the woman with the todger list on her blog.

Daniel said...

This has been a very 'uplifting' post, Lucy. You've made your point.

What many men don't realise is that, as you age, a whopper gets harder and harder to stir and maintain! Besides, good things come in small parcels.