Sunday 28 October 2007

Yep Channing, We Speak English Here

Sportsmen are generally thought of as not being the sharpest knives in the drawer but Miami Dolphins player Channing Crowder utterances make a block of butter seem like a razor's edge in comparison to him.
Maybe he has been on the receiving end of a few too many tackles or perhaps he should have his chin strap loosened slightly because when you admit to not knowing people speak English in London, something has gone wrong.
"I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries," he said.
"I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that."
Pushing even more of his feet into his mouth he added: "I know London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."
David Beckham is said to be ecstatic because finally he has found someone he can stand next to and actually call a dumbass.

6 comments:

Cody Bones said...

Which is why Beckham's arrival on our shores, didn't even cause so much as a blip on the popular radar.

As to the other part of the post, why is it that the odds in the genetic lottery seems so skewed as to receiving brains and athleticism. I realize that there are numerous examples of intelligent athletes, but they seem to be the exception rather than the rule. Many professional athletes can be described, as Hollywood Henderson once said about Terry Bradshaw "He couldn’t spell “cat“ if you spotted him the “c” and the “a.” Yet, I am still a football and baseball fan. Oh well, I'll just have to sit here and console myself with the fact that I did win the genetic lottery with brains and athleticism. "Snicker Snicker"

Kos said...

Please, please don't allow your opinion of Americans in general to be swayed by the likes of Crowder. I'm sure you could come up with a laundry list of Brits whom you would never, ever want to be seen by us as representative of your country!

Kos said...

The word verification to my last post was "fkenwj," which I read as "Fuckin' Wedge." Not sure what it means, but I like it.

Falling on a bruise said...

That would be the Royal Family then jefe.

Cheezy said...

No worries, Jefe. Intelligent English people never assume that the likes of Channing Crowder, Paris Hilton, George W Bush, Homer Simpson, Britney Spears, Anne Coulter and David Hasselhoff are representative of the rest of your glorious nation. Seriously. The average American I meet (online and in person) is pretty much always smarter than the morons I see on TV.

And we trust that you guys don't judge all of us by the Beckhams too... or that twat who used to be our Prime Minister :)

Cody Bones said...

Goddamn it Cheezy, I happen to like Homer Simpson. So there.