Until he dragged Rocky kicking and screaming out of deep freeze for the final sixth time, it had been a while since Sylvester Stallone had a hit movie. OK, so he paired up with that annoying old lady from The Golden Girls to torture us with 'Stop! Or my mom will shoot' but apart from that turkey, he has been mostly famous for having his shoulder felt by Australian Custom officials after sneaking human growth hormone and testosterone into the land down under.
Never one to turn down the opportunity to grow as an actor, the 61 year old has decided that this is the right time to reprised his former role as psychotic killing machine, the mumbling John Rambo.
In Rambo 3, Sly had the Vietnam Vet taking on the might of the Soviet army in Afghanistan, ably assisted by the Mujahideen who were US backed freedom fighters using guerrilla tactics to attack a super-power back then in 1988.
Of course, the Mujahideen are terrorists now using guerrilla tactics to attack a super-power and the kids who whooped it up in the US cinemas as Rambo led them to glory are now in Iraq shooting at the Mujahideen but that is beside the point.
Because of the complexity of explaining how today's enemy was yesterdays allies, Rambo is taking on and killing hundreds of the Burmese army instead.
I expect that there will be many blogs mentioning the high kill rate of Rambo's latest outing (236 as you ask) but i want to draw attention to this charmingly titled Rambo Kill Chart.
There is a trend for the kill rate to up with each film as well as the number of good guys killed by the baddies but i like the fact that the number of bad guys killed by Rambo with his shirt off declines with each film as killings with his shirt on rises sharply.
Proof indeed that no matter how much human growth hormone you stick in your veins, slaughtering a good proportion of the Burmese military is just not sexy when you have man boobs.
7 comments:
Superb! Can't wait. I loved it when he pulled a stick out of his side and then used gunpowder to cauterise the wound. That's a real man right there. Send him after Osama, I reckon. Him and some angry bloggers.
Going Monday night. Can't wait. I'll see if I can snap some screen shots on my iPhone.
Oh, and don't forget, they drew first blood, not John.
The whole human race has been conditioned by Hollywood to enjoy violence, to laugh as hundreds of 'baddies' are blown up (the Colosseum was once a popular place of entertainment too!).
Why do we continue to elevate the more ugly dimensions of our nature (violence, bloodlust, sexual deviancy, etc) into an artform?
Rambo's an artform? :-o
that sly stallone seems like one big, ol hunk of dumb. yay for steroids! but hey, each to their own.
the best takeoff on rambo i recall was a jorma kaukonen shirt that read: "jormbo" (again, each to their own/had to be there)
Where do you find botox in the jungles or wild or wherever the hell Rambo goes to kick ass? How are they gonna fit his face into the plotline? Ohhh...perhaps he was paralyzed by some weird nerve agent gas.
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