Nicholas Cage is reported to be the owner of the most haunted house in America where hundreds of slaves were tortured and murdered in the 19th Century and a head carrying vision roams the corridor. Scary indeed but not as frightening as some of the stinkers that Cage has appeared in during his career but he has plenty of time to make some decent films seeing as he is one of the undead. Allow me to explain.
Notice the black and white photograph of the unidentified man above? This photo was taken around the time of the American Civil War, 145 years ago, and notice any resemblance to a certain Hollywood star last seen being arrested for assaulting his wife?
Antique image dealer, Jack Mord, believes the photo is proof that Nicholas Cage is a member of the walking undead.
'Personally, I believe it’s him and that he is some sort of walking undead/vampire who reinvents himself once every 75 years or so' he explained, '150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.'
He found the photo at the back of an album of Civil War-era portraits, but his suspicion was aroused when he noticed that this was the only picture in the book that did not have a name beside it.
Conclusive proof then that Nicholas Cage, as he is calling himself these days, is one of the walking dead.
Now if only we can find proof that Jean-Claude Van Damme ISN'T one of the walking dead.