Wednesday 29 May 2013

Meet Jesus

It has always seemed a dilemma to me that although some of the religions are waiting for the second coming of Jesus, who is going to believe him if he did show up?
The long beard and sandals may be a clue but it also the dress code of drama teachers so if someone turns up adamant that they are the son of God, he is going to be declared a nutter which is exactly what has happened to Alan John Miller who is not only claiming to be Jesus but his partner is Mary Magdalene.
'I have very clear memories of the crucifixion, but it wasn't as harrowing for me as it was for others like Mary who was present' explain AJ, 'I did resurrect quite a number of people ... including a friend of mine Lazarus, who most people know is mentioned in the Bible'.
AJ as he prefers to be known from Queensland in Australia is beginning to attract quite a following including Brits who have sold up in their own countries to move and be closer to 'Jesus' and follow his teachings.
'There were lots of people in the first century who didn't believe I was the Messiah and were offended by what I said and in fact I died at the hands of some of them' said AJ answering the question that he was a loony tune.
Now the 21st Century 'Jesus' is forgoing the old methods and spreading his message through DVDs and the Internet so we can look forward to You Tube videos of him walking on water which he then turns into wine to wash down the 5000 loaves and fish served by his virgin mother.
I'm also quite glad that he discovered he was Jesus later in life, might have had a problem finding the required 3 wise men in Australia if they had to go through the nativity scene.

2 comments:

Cheezy said...

I don't think we can expect those miracles to happen anytime soon. As I understand it, it's an unbreakable law of Christianity that miracles are not allowed to happen nowadays - they're only permitted to have happened thousands of years ago when, conveniently, there were no Sony handycams or mobile devices around to record them.

Unless, of course, there actually is a messiah, and Paul Daniels be his name.

Lucy said...

People like Paul Daniles and David Copperfield have ruined the miracle aspect because making water into wine is rubbish compared to making the Statue of Liberty vanish. Jesus had better up his game this time around.