Christmas Eve Mass

Welcome to the Christmas Eve midnight sermon with me, the Right Reverend Lucy.
As we celebrate the birth of that child 2015 years ago in Bethlehem, let's take a moment to celebrate this miracle in song. Please turn to page 157 in your Hymn books and join me in 'While Shepherds':

'While shepherds washed their socks by night
all watching ITV
the angel of the Lord came down
and switched to BBC'.

Indeed, the Angel of the Lord did come down at that time and turn the shepherds television over to BBC which they were not happy about because they had been watching 'Bethlehem's Got Talent' and it was just getting to the bit where they announced the winner.
'Look unto yonder stable where the child of your Lord is unto being born to save all mankind' said the Angel  beckoning the shepherds to follow him which they said they would just as soon as they found out who won.
Unperturbed the Angel of the Lord called down a chorus of other Angels to announce the arrival of the Saviour, please turn to page 17, 'Hark the Herald Angels'.

'Hark the herald angels sing,
Beechams Pills are just the thing,
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
Two for a man and one for a child'.

Indeed, one Beecham Pill for the Holy child and two for Joseph but none for the girl who God had chosen to receive his holy juice and who after the birth was curled up on the floor next to a disgruntled pig who was already miffed that his drinking trough had been emptied and now had a baby human in it.     
News travelled fast and soon Kings from the surrounding area were making there way to visit the child of God. Please join me in hymn number 141 in your pray books, 'We Three Kings'.

We three Kings of Orient are,
one in a taxi, one in a car
One on a scooter, honking his hooter,
smoking a long cigar

Soon cigars were being smoked and hooters were being honked everywhere for the baby Jesus and from that day, each 25th day of the twelfth month, we celebrate the events in that stable by coming together to open presents, eat Brussels Sprouts and sing songs.
Our final song this Christmas Eve, although not a Christian Carol,  has become a favourite and it's number 300 in your hymn books, 'Jingle Bells'. 

Jingle Bells, Batman smells,
Robin flew away
Father Christmas lost his knickers
On the motorway...hey!!

So Goodnight, have a very Merry Christmas and remember if you are looking for God, can you also have a scout around for Santa's pants at the same time.