Sunday 21 May 2023

Today Is...The End Of The World Day

What would you do if you knew the world was going to end? Definitely end, that is, there being nothing that could be done by governments, science or superheroes to avert the end of human life on earth?
There has been many end of the World prophecies. Most famous is probably Nostradamus who divided his time between growing rich inventing fake plague prevention pills and predicting the end of the World.
Ironically, his wife and children all died from the Plague later so although nobody would take his medicinal advice very seriously, many do take heed of his 'The End is Nigh' prophecies even if they have to rewrite them every time we wake up the morning after and find ourselves still here.
Biblical Scholars like to join in the fun, predicting that the World is going to end yet again according to something in their Bibles although as far as i can tell nobody righteous has yet ascended to heaven and they are still here, knocking along with us unworthy ones coveting our neighbours asses and whistling on a Sunday.
The Messiah Foundation International do preach that a massive asteroid is hurtling toward our planet, on course to collide in 2026 and in a shocking twist, will bring about the Rapture when the Lord will return and save everyone worth saving...etc etc but Isaac Newton may be known as the man who discovered Gravity but you do wonder just hard that apple hit him on the head as he calculated from the Book of Revelations that mankind will come to a screeching halt in 2060 although he didn't specify how it will all end.
The Muslims are much clearer with the details, they have the world ending with earthquakes and volcanoes in 2129 before it all turns a bit Japanese Manga Comic with a one-eyed beast battling the Messiah as Gog and Magog, whoever they are, descending upon the Earth.
There are no such monsters in the Judaism end days penciled in for 30th September 2239 when the Messiah will appear to help us prepare for his new kingdom of Heaven but it will only be for those who actively prepare for his arrival so as you won’t be allowed into the Heaven Party if you don’t help set it up so maybe make some sandwiches that day, not Ham ones though.
The Buddhists have their policies of peace and self-reflection, serenity and rebirth but in the year 84517 they say the Earth and all on it will burst into flames in a fiery explosion so there are some dates that the World will end to jot into your diary.
Norse Mythology is particularly imaginative with bad boy Loki escaping from ropes made of his son's intestines and hijacking a ship made of dead men's toenails before awakening the World Serpent who rises from the oceans and spews poison across the lands and skies until Earth sinks into the ocean leaving just two humans to repopulate what's left of the Earth.
Whichever one of the religions deities turn up to end things, none are particularly nice so maybe what we need is another religion, one where it doesn't all end in killer skeletons or Gods arriving in ships made of toenails to kill us all.
Despite the Planet and the creatures on it annoyingly refuse to go away and inconveniently refuse to expire, there is a great new conspiracy theory that says don't bother waiting around for the end of the world because it's already happened, we all just missed it. 
Now you are probably thinking that you would have noticed something like that happening, possibly picking up a few clues along the way but everything went Pop in 2012 when 'our collective consciousness was moved into a parallel universe and we are now living in a series of simulations with remnants of memories from our old life on the real Earth'.
When they put it like that it's obvious really, everything that has happened since 2012 is just in our collective imaginations and frankly, if they didn’t have all that proof to back them up then it would be impossible to take these guys seriously.

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