Special Guest Blogger: Greek God Poseidon

Supreme Lord of the Inner and Outer Seas, Overlord of Lakes and Rivers, Master of all that swims beneath or upon the surface of the waters here.
With my brothers Zeus and Hades, we fought mightily in the cosmic wars against the Titans and after their defeat we divided the Cosmos between us and I took command of the waters from the Titan named Oceanus who had created them while my brothers plumped for the earthy bits.
I always had a thing for horses. Not fish. Not dolphins. Not even seahorses. I liked the land-based galloping mammals.
As controller of water I became supreme arbiter of the destinies of Earth, which must have water for its sustenance but as it was so important i thought I should own everything, because i supplied the water which keeps it alive and i could cause storms and shipwrecks with the aid of my three-pronged trident, but if i was in a good mood I could soothe the sea to sleep.
When all the gods and spirits of earth and its creatures sought for the judgment of Olympus, I flooding their territories, drying up rivers, and causing droughts which devastated the land.
All the disputes over land rights exacerbated my touchy temper and I retreated to my golden palace in the depths of the ocean. There I brooded over my wrongs, and from time to time I harnessed sea monsters to my chariot and galloped furiously over the oceans. As my chariot parts the waves it caused raging storms which would sweep across the waters, destroying ships and lashing against the coastline, while I speared the clouds with my trident to release disastrous floods upon the land. Then I returned to my palace and forbid the water to moisten the earth, so that it dries and cracks under the sun.
I was father to many gods and heroes (and  horses) including Theseus, Triton, Polyphemus, Orion and Pegasus. Sea air is obviously good for the libido but over time i became renamed Neptune by the Romans which was okay as it came with a Summer Festival called Neptunalia for the landlubbers but i am not happy with you modern people because you keep pumping plastic into the ocean, my ocean, my beautiful home.
Balloons. Frisbees. Cups. Bottles. Necklaces. Fans. And glitter. GLITTER!!!! It’s got to stop!