Because i haven't yet figured out a foolproof way to fiddle my tax returns, like many of you, i have the heartwarming honour of paying a percentage of my salary to the Government each year to do with as they wish. This could be education, health, feathering their own nests or fiddling their John Lewis expenses account with my hard earned but we don't have a say and have to leave it up to them to decide where to direct it.
If i woke up to hear that my Government was shelling out $700 billion fund to bail out private companies, an amount that would push the total pledged to combat the crisis to $1.8 trillion, i would break my new years resolution to stop swearing before breakfast.
It is figures that would make anybodies mind boggle and this latest $700b amounts to $2300 per US citizen so unless you have a knowledge of how the financial system works, the incomprehensible financial jargon just bounces off our ears but every US citizen should be bristling with indignation that their Government has seen fit to use their tax dollars for this.
The language of the money men may blind us to what is actually going on, which is that the working American is being asked to pay for irresponsible management of huge privately owned companies. In other words a massive handout.
Saving the neck of companies that were mismanaged by already absurdly wealthy guys would come well towards the bottom of my list if i was looking to hand out $1.8 trillion. Even after the payout, the problem will still be there for the average American facing rising prices, job insecurity and the threat of losing their homes.
If the Government had used the $1.8 trillion to hand every US citizen $15,000 to spend, it would have stimulated the economy and everyone would have got something out of it.
If they had chosen to spend $1.8 trillion to part-pay the mortgages of the worst hit, the financial institutions would have still got their money, the crisis would be solved, the housing market invigorated and millions of citizens would of got something out of the deal.
As it stands, they get nothing except a debt they will be saddled with for decades and higher inflation or taxes to pay for it. The winners are a bunch of incompetent bankers who will get much richer and will in turn turf you out of your home if you manage your finances anything like the way that they have been running there's. Ever get the feeling you're being cheated?
Friday, 26 September 2008
Thursday, 25 September 2008
Little Britain USA
America, this is your lucky day, the day the British invade again however this British invasion plans to be much funnier than any musicians or revolutions that there has been in the past.
So starts the spin off of Little Britain which is due to hit America right between the eyes later this month.
Some of the Matt Lucas And David Walliams characters were always pretty close to being offensive and from the scenes on view of their American version, they plan to insult, outrage and entertain in the same style stateside. I will be very interested to see how the completely non politically correct show goes down over there with characters such as the teenager perving after his friends grandmother or the adult who demands 'bitty'.
The pair have introduced American characters especially and include a Sheriff sexually obsessed with guns, a pair of hunters who avoid shooting anything dangerous and Bing Gordy, the bitter eighth astronaut on the moon.
What Little Britain did spectacularly here was to take the eccentric aspects of Britishness and ridicule it outrageously. How Americans will react to a couple of Englishmen creating caricatures of Americans behaviour, culture and beliefs and making fun of it relentlessly will be intriguing.
As a taster of the sort of humour to be expected, here is weight guidance counsellor Marjorie Dawes conducting a meeting which includes Rosie O'Donnell in the Fat Fighters group.
"Rosie, Are you fat because you're a lesbian or are you a lesbian because you're fat and couldn't get a man?"
So starts the spin off of Little Britain which is due to hit America right between the eyes later this month.
Some of the Matt Lucas And David Walliams characters were always pretty close to being offensive and from the scenes on view of their American version, they plan to insult, outrage and entertain in the same style stateside. I will be very interested to see how the completely non politically correct show goes down over there with characters such as the teenager perving after his friends grandmother or the adult who demands 'bitty'.
The pair have introduced American characters especially and include a Sheriff sexually obsessed with guns, a pair of hunters who avoid shooting anything dangerous and Bing Gordy, the bitter eighth astronaut on the moon.
What Little Britain did spectacularly here was to take the eccentric aspects of Britishness and ridicule it outrageously. How Americans will react to a couple of Englishmen creating caricatures of Americans behaviour, culture and beliefs and making fun of it relentlessly will be intriguing.
As a taster of the sort of humour to be expected, here is weight guidance counsellor Marjorie Dawes conducting a meeting which includes Rosie O'Donnell in the Fat Fighters group.
"Rosie, Are you fat because you're a lesbian or are you a lesbian because you're fat and couldn't get a man?"
Wednesday, 24 September 2008
Another Gun Massacre
Finland is an unremarkable country in northern Europe. Apart from being the most sparsely populated country on the continent it has little that makes it stand out from the rest of the Europeans apart from it's burgeoning reputation as the school massacre centre of Europe. For the third time in less than two decades, a gunman has shot up his college and classmates as today another student went on a gun rampage and shot dead ten people at his school in Finland.
The Finnish Police will now come under scrutiny after it emerged that police had questioned the killer, Matti Juhani Saari, about a YouTube video of himself firing directly at the camera and saying: "You will die next." Police were alerted to the clips but because Saari had a permit they had no reason to hold him.
The gun ownership argument goes on but it can't be a coincidence that the places where these gun massacres happen most frequently are the places with the highest rate of gun ownership. Finland is the third highest behind the US and Yemen.
"We have experienced a tragic day," said Matti Vanhanen, the Finnish prime minister although despite promises of tougher gun laws following Finland's last high school shooting, in November last year, the Finnish Government have done precious little to push through any new laws tightening the countries gun laws.
I strongly suspect that there will be more tragic days to come until either Finland makes the link between gun ownership and gun deaths and slap a ban on guns or the EU members apply enough pressure to force through a new ruling to bring it in line with the rest of Europe.
Today's killings should be the cause of some national soul-searching for Finland, not least about the country's rampant gun culture.
Good Riddance To Mbeki
If there was one thing South Africa needed after the past few turbulent decades, it was a time of stability under a reliable President. Unfortunately what it got was Thabo Mbeki who has just been removed from power by his own ANC Party.
Faith in the ability of Mbeki to Govern wisely quickly evaporated in what will remain his over-riding legacy even above his corrupt dealings with arms dealers, the treacherous and deadly stance over the AIDS issue.
Stating that he didn't believe HIV caused Aids and it was a conspiracy of the pharmaceutical companies and the CIA against him, Mbeki set about blocking the distribution of anti-Aids antiretroviral drugs claiming that they were poisonous.
Hundreds of thousands of adults and children were condemned to die while Mbeki refused to advocate the use of condoms to resist the spread of the deadly disease and distributed documents that claimed the drugs were actually an attempt to commit genocide against black people.
He compared Aids scientists to latter-day Nazi concentration camp doctors and portrayed black people who accepted AIDs science as self-repressed victims of a slave mentality.
Now the leadership passes to Mbeki's former deputy, Jacob Zuma who during a court trial where he was accused of raping a HIV sufferer, admitted to having unprotected sex with his accuser but claimed that he took a shower afterwards to "cut the risk of contracting HIV". Zuma at the time headed the National AIDS Council.
Out of the frying pan and back into the frying pan it seems.
Faith in the ability of Mbeki to Govern wisely quickly evaporated in what will remain his over-riding legacy even above his corrupt dealings with arms dealers, the treacherous and deadly stance over the AIDS issue.
Stating that he didn't believe HIV caused Aids and it was a conspiracy of the pharmaceutical companies and the CIA against him, Mbeki set about blocking the distribution of anti-Aids antiretroviral drugs claiming that they were poisonous.
Hundreds of thousands of adults and children were condemned to die while Mbeki refused to advocate the use of condoms to resist the spread of the deadly disease and distributed documents that claimed the drugs were actually an attempt to commit genocide against black people.
He compared Aids scientists to latter-day Nazi concentration camp doctors and portrayed black people who accepted AIDs science as self-repressed victims of a slave mentality.
Now the leadership passes to Mbeki's former deputy, Jacob Zuma who during a court trial where he was accused of raping a HIV sufferer, admitted to having unprotected sex with his accuser but claimed that he took a shower afterwards to "cut the risk of contracting HIV". Zuma at the time headed the National AIDS Council.
Out of the frying pan and back into the frying pan it seems.
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
Marxism In A Nutshell
According to my friends at the Socialist end of the spectrum, since the finances of the World went down the gurgler, there has been a distinct upturn in the amount of interest in Marxist ideology. I myself have been asked recently about nationalisation and Socialism but there does seem to be an unclear view of what the German was advocating so here it is, in a nutshell, Marxism. Let's see how much of what Marx predicted has come to fruition.
Marx said that humans had progressed through a series of stages, from slaves society through to capitalism and in each stage a dominant class had exploited the labour of the larger class of workers.
In each of these stages, these ruling classes had become corrupt and had been overthrown and a new system implemented. Marx acknowledged that capitalism was a necessary stage of development but it would be corrupted by unfair distribution of the wealth and the political power that went with it.
These captains of industry would reap the profits while paying the workers a pittance. Under capitalism, Marx claimed, workers are not paid fully or fairly for their labour because the top guys siphon off the profit, earning the owners enormous wealth, while the workers struggle by on poor salaries.
Here is the important bit, this wealth also enables the owners to control the government, which would in turn do the bidding of the wealthy and the powerful to the detriment of the poor and the powerless.
He said that the workers, who would make up the majority, would rise up and overthrow their corrupt leaders and install a fairer system which would benefit the workers who would distribute fairly the share of the profits. This he called Communism from the Latin word for 'shared'.
This is only a quick walk through a small part of Marx's philosophy but wealthy owners, poorly paid staff, money buying influence in seats of power, unfair distribution of profits, angry and disillusioned workers. Even the most right wing hackneyed capitalist can't argue that Mr Marx wasn't a million miles off so far with his theory of how things will pan out.
Marx said that humans had progressed through a series of stages, from slaves society through to capitalism and in each stage a dominant class had exploited the labour of the larger class of workers.
In each of these stages, these ruling classes had become corrupt and had been overthrown and a new system implemented. Marx acknowledged that capitalism was a necessary stage of development but it would be corrupted by unfair distribution of the wealth and the political power that went with it.
These captains of industry would reap the profits while paying the workers a pittance. Under capitalism, Marx claimed, workers are not paid fully or fairly for their labour because the top guys siphon off the profit, earning the owners enormous wealth, while the workers struggle by on poor salaries.
Here is the important bit, this wealth also enables the owners to control the government, which would in turn do the bidding of the wealthy and the powerful to the detriment of the poor and the powerless.
He said that the workers, who would make up the majority, would rise up and overthrow their corrupt leaders and install a fairer system which would benefit the workers who would distribute fairly the share of the profits. This he called Communism from the Latin word for 'shared'.
This is only a quick walk through a small part of Marx's philosophy but wealthy owners, poorly paid staff, money buying influence in seats of power, unfair distribution of profits, angry and disillusioned workers. Even the most right wing hackneyed capitalist can't argue that Mr Marx wasn't a million miles off so far with his theory of how things will pan out.
Sunday, 21 September 2008
Happy Birthday Stephen King
I have a bookcase stood against the wall and a quick glance shows it holds approximately 200 books. Beside it is another bookcase, slightly smaller, which holds approximately 150. Both are chocked full of well thumbed paperbacks and in the case of The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, held together by sellotape.Not driven by any overwhelming desire to alphabetise or order them whatsoever, literary giants such as Dickens and Steinbeck approvingly rub shoulders with Dahl and Orwell until the list of the finest scribes hits King, Stephen and in many peoples minds, the idea of me mixing King with the great and good of the literary world is worthy of my head being removed and placed upon a stake at Traitors Gate as an example to others who keep The Shining beside To Kill A Mockingbird.
I will concede that Mr King's books have become bloated but strip away the fluff that he seems intent on cramming into every book since The Green Mile, and you are generally left with a more than decent story.
More known for his horror stories, King has been responsible for some outstanding works such as Misery, The Shawshank Redemption, Stand by Me and the aforementioned Green Mile. He has written some stinkers (Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon and Dreamcatcher were particularly noteworthy in this regard) but they are few and far between but if a good old fashioned well written story is your want and you are willing to dismiss the sneers of literary snobs, then Stephen King should be on your bookcase.
Throw out the Edgar Allan Poe stuff to make room, he can't hold a candle to King.
Wednesday, 17 September 2008
Kicking Capitalism Into A Fairer System
It is quite unusual for a profession to be so disliked that while they are
carrying away cardboard boxes after emptying their desks for the last time, they still face as much derision as before. Sympathy is not in abundance for the city boys because it is hard to feel compassion for a Lehman Brother employee where the average wage was £160,000 pa. The biggest cheers are coming from the left who are like a dog with three tails as the Capitalist system falls apart around everyone's ears.
The average person, and i include myself in this, do not understand much about the World markets or what the FTSE index does and the only time we have come across AIG was on the front of a Manchester United shirt so it doesn't have any effect on our lives what the NASDAQ is doing but suddenly we are told that our lives are on the verge of being altered drastically. Yet again.
Seems to me that the way the system works is to have a period of growth where the gap between rich and poor widens and every decade or so, there is a massive fall which primarily kicks the poorest repeatedly until things pick up and off we go on the same path to do it all over again.
To my untrained eye, it seems that the guardians of the system are happy to play fast and loose with other peoples money and walk away financially secure with a bulging bank balance when it all goes go pear shaped while everyone else has to tighten the belt and dread a call to assemble in the Managing Directors office.
Obviously, putting all your eggs in one basket is a ludicrous idea so having a few behemoth institutions that have enough sway to drag down multiple other businesses with it when it flops over is bad business management. If we have learnt anything it is that smaller financial centres that cause smaller waves when they make bad decisions is the way to go, that is if Capitalism survives because this is the opportunity that the anti-Capitalists have been waiting for. If they can devise an alternative economic model, or radically shake up the one we have, this would be the time to push it out. It won't be any good in eighteen months time when the cycle is moving out of the slump phase, slap it down on the table now because you won't have a better opportunity. Capitalism is down, boots on lads and start kicking it into a more fairer, less corrupt and more stable model run for everyone and not just the few.
There is a campaign backed by the former Danish Prime Minister for World leaders to address the fundamental causes of this crisis here.
carrying away cardboard boxes after emptying their desks for the last time, they still face as much derision as before. Sympathy is not in abundance for the city boys because it is hard to feel compassion for a Lehman Brother employee where the average wage was £160,000 pa. The biggest cheers are coming from the left who are like a dog with three tails as the Capitalist system falls apart around everyone's ears.
The average person, and i include myself in this, do not understand much about the World markets or what the FTSE index does and the only time we have come across AIG was on the front of a Manchester United shirt so it doesn't have any effect on our lives what the NASDAQ is doing but suddenly we are told that our lives are on the verge of being altered drastically. Yet again.
Seems to me that the way the system works is to have a period of growth where the gap between rich and poor widens and every decade or so, there is a massive fall which primarily kicks the poorest repeatedly until things pick up and off we go on the same path to do it all over again.
To my untrained eye, it seems that the guardians of the system are happy to play fast and loose with other peoples money and walk away financially secure with a bulging bank balance when it all goes go pear shaped while everyone else has to tighten the belt and dread a call to assemble in the Managing Directors office.
Obviously, putting all your eggs in one basket is a ludicrous idea so having a few behemoth institutions that have enough sway to drag down multiple other businesses with it when it flops over is bad business management. If we have learnt anything it is that smaller financial centres that cause smaller waves when they make bad decisions is the way to go, that is if Capitalism survives because this is the opportunity that the anti-Capitalists have been waiting for. If they can devise an alternative economic model, or radically shake up the one we have, this would be the time to push it out. It won't be any good in eighteen months time when the cycle is moving out of the slump phase, slap it down on the table now because you won't have a better opportunity. Capitalism is down, boots on lads and start kicking it into a more fairer, less corrupt and more stable model run for everyone and not just the few.
There is a campaign backed by the former Danish Prime Minister for World leaders to address the fundamental causes of this crisis here.
Monday, 15 September 2008
US Political Phraseology Explained For Brits
Some of the British media, being either too lazy or too drunk to care, have taken to referring to Sarah Palin as a Hockey mom and her soon to be son-in-law (whether he likes it or not) as a redneck.
All very international but most of us here haven't got a clue what a Hockey Mom is or what she does or indeed what makes her a hockey mom. To make it a bit simpler for Brits to follow the news about the US Election, allow me to explain a few of the terms and pass on the closest British equivalent that you will hear dribbling from the keyboards of the press between now and when Obama is elected in November.
Hockey Mom: The British version can be seen each weekend at the side of their kids pitch screaming and bawling at the referee and other parents. 'Pushy parent' would be our equivalent and you just know that if there offspring scores, you will hear about it for the next six weeks. No, i don't know why it is seen as a good thing for Palin to be pushing either but then the only time my parents came to see me play netball i was too busy waving to them that i ran into the post and spent the evening in the casualty department.
Redneck: The nearest i can get to for a British equivalent of redneck is a Country Bumpkin. Someone with very little savvy who spends all the day outside in the sun getting burnt and ending up with the tell-tale 'red neck'. The South of the States is redneck country where as the British countryside is seen as more the preserve of the wealthy so it's not perfect but a big, clumsy farmhand who spent more time learning how to drive his father's tractor then learning his multiplication tables is about where we have an equivalent.
Gate: Seems that anything of a dubious nature has the word 'gate' stuffed on the end of it. 'Gate' tagged on to a word simply indicates a scandal and is named after the Watergate scandal in the 1970s. The most recent example is Lipstickgate where Obama said "putting lipstick on a pig" during a recent campaign trail speech. Simply -gate means scandal and the word before it tells you who, where or how.
GOP: You would be excused thinking it stood for Grumpy Old Person when you see John McCain doddering up to the stage but its actually another name for the Republican Party.
Commander-in-chief: Term for the President as commander of the nation's armed forces. Our own Prime Minister also has other titles but most of them would involve typing crude Anglo-Saxon words although he is also referred to as the First Lord of the Treasury.
I am sure that there will be other words and phrases we won't know the meaning of by November and i will do my best to ask other people and pass them off here as if i knew what they were all along.
All very international but most of us here haven't got a clue what a Hockey Mom is or what she does or indeed what makes her a hockey mom. To make it a bit simpler for Brits to follow the news about the US Election, allow me to explain a few of the terms and pass on the closest British equivalent that you will hear dribbling from the keyboards of the press between now and when Obama is elected in November.
Hockey Mom: The British version can be seen each weekend at the side of their kids pitch screaming and bawling at the referee and other parents. 'Pushy parent' would be our equivalent and you just know that if there offspring scores, you will hear about it for the next six weeks. No, i don't know why it is seen as a good thing for Palin to be pushing either but then the only time my parents came to see me play netball i was too busy waving to them that i ran into the post and spent the evening in the casualty department.
Redneck: The nearest i can get to for a British equivalent of redneck is a Country Bumpkin. Someone with very little savvy who spends all the day outside in the sun getting burnt and ending up with the tell-tale 'red neck'. The South of the States is redneck country where as the British countryside is seen as more the preserve of the wealthy so it's not perfect but a big, clumsy farmhand who spent more time learning how to drive his father's tractor then learning his multiplication tables is about where we have an equivalent.
Gate: Seems that anything of a dubious nature has the word 'gate' stuffed on the end of it. 'Gate' tagged on to a word simply indicates a scandal and is named after the Watergate scandal in the 1970s. The most recent example is Lipstickgate where Obama said "putting lipstick on a pig" during a recent campaign trail speech. Simply -gate means scandal and the word before it tells you who, where or how.
GOP: You would be excused thinking it stood for Grumpy Old Person when you see John McCain doddering up to the stage but its actually another name for the Republican Party.
Commander-in-chief: Term for the President as commander of the nation's armed forces. Our own Prime Minister also has other titles but most of them would involve typing crude Anglo-Saxon words although he is also referred to as the First Lord of the Treasury.
I am sure that there will be other words and phrases we won't know the meaning of by November and i will do my best to ask other people and pass them off here as if i knew what they were all along.
Sunday, 14 September 2008
Dare We?
In a previous post i suggested that Americans and Europeans both view each other as arrogant. I then was reminded about the Guardian newspaper's attempt to sway the 2004 American election. The idea in 'Operation Clark County' was for Guardian readers to write to undecided voters in the crucial state of Ohio. Here is some of the brilliant reaction to the project received by the Guardian:
Have you not noticed that Americans don't give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from some arrogant Brit telling us why to NOT vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies ... I don't give a rat's ass if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don't. If you want to have a meaningful election in your crappy little island full of shitty food and yellow teeth, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin, dipshit. Oh, yeah - and brush your goddamned teeth, you filthy animals. Wading River, NY
Consider this: stay out of American electoral politics. Unless you would like a company of US Navy Seals - Republican to a man - to descend upon the offices of the Guardian, bag the lot of you, and transport you to Guantanamo Bay, where you can share quarters with some lonely Taliban shepherd boys. United States
I am a student and life-long resident of Clark County, Ohio. I just wanted you to know that this is a wonderful idea you've initiated; people here love and respect the United Kingdom, especially the prime minister. I hope this campaign will be successful for your newspaper and for us voters. Springfield, Ohio
KEEP YOUR FUCKIN' LIMEY HANDS OFF OUR ELECTION. HEY, SHITHEADS, REMEMBER THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR? REMEMBER THE WAR OF 1812? WE DIDN'T WANT YOU, OR YOUR POLITICS HERE, THAT'S WHY WE KICKED YOUR ASSES OUT. FOR THE 47% OF YOU WHO DON'T WANT PRESIDENT BUSH, I SAY THIS ... TOUGH SHIT! PROUD AMERICAN VOTING FOR BUSH!
Real Americans aren't interested in your pansy-ass, tea-sipping opinions. If you want to save the world, begin with your own worthless corner of it. Texas, USA
Thank you, thank you, thank you! What a wonderful idea! I am a US citizen who is scared to death that Bush and Klan will get back in. We need all the help we can get to ditch this bunch of maniacs..United States
My dear, beloved Brits, I understand the Guardian is sponsoring a service where British citizens write to Americans to advise them on how to vote. Thank heavens! I was adrift in a sea of confusion and you are my beacon of hope!
Feel free to respond to this email with your advice. Please keep in mind that I am something of an anglophile, so this is not confrontational. Please remember, too, that I am merely an American. That means I am not very bright. It means I have no culture or sense of history. It also means that I am barely literate, so please don't use big, fancy words. Set me straight, folks! Dayton, Ohio
Hey England, Scotland and Wales, Mind your own business. We don't need weenie-spined Limeys meddling in our presidental election. If it wasn't for America, you'd all be speaking German. And if America would have had a president, then, of the likes of Kerry, you'd all be goose-stepping around Buckingham Palace. YOU ARE NOT WANTED!! Whether you want to support either party. BUTT OUT!!! United States
Please be advised that I have forwarded this to the CIA and FBI. United States
THE AMERICAN TAXPAYERS HAVE SPENT TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS PROTECTING THE PEOPLES OF THE EU, AND WHAT DO WE GET IN RETURN. BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL. I HAVE BEEN TO YOUR COUNTRY, THE COUNTRY OF MY ANCESTORS, AND I KNOW WHY THEY LEFT. MAY YOU HAVE TO HAVE A TOOTH CAPPED. I UNDERSTAND IT TAKES AT LEAST 18 MONTHS FOR YOUR GREAT MEDICAL SERVICES TO GET AROUND TO YOU. HAVE A GREAT DAY. Harlan, Kentucky
Keep your noses out of our business. As I recall we kicked your asses out of our country back in 1776. We do not require input from losers and idiots on who we vote for in our own country. Fuck off and die asshole!!!!! Knoxville, Iowa
Gentle folks at the Guardian,
In your plea to get your non-American readers to write to voters in Clark County, Iowa, you are correct that events in the US have had, and will have, effects on world events. For example, we have pulled your chestnuts out of the fire in two world wars that were occasioned by European diplomacy.Maybe you'd like a vote in which American president will oversee the next rescue. The next time you have elections in Great Britain, I shall endeavour to send names of your citizens to people in France, Iraq, India, the United Arab Emirates, Botswana, Pakistan, China and Argentina so that they may attempt to influence your election. It's only fair that everybody in the world should have a say in the selection of the prime minister. California
Who in the hell do you think you are??? Well, I'll tell you, you're a bunch of meddling socialist pricks! Stay the hell out of our country and politics. And another thing, John Kerry is a worthless lying sack of crap so it doesn't surprise me that a socialist rag like yours would back him. I hope your cynical ploy blows up in your cowardly faces, you bunch of mealy-mouthed morons! United States
I used to visit the UK every year. I love the history and culture of your country. But after I heard about your campaign to influence our elections, I've decided that neither myself, nor my family will ever visit again. I'm offended by your campaign and because of it, I'm remembering more of the negative aspects I've seen in the UK than the positive ones. Though I still love the castles! Detroit
I suggest that if a particular reader of the Guardian would like to vote in America - would really like to influence the American election, say - that reader should move to America, become a citizen of the United States. Everyone is welcome here. Even the readers of the Guardian. But if you don't wish to be an American, to live in Ohio, for instance, and participate in the American political process, that is too bad. Perhaps there is something wrong with you. Perhaps it is your teeth. New York
Go back to sipping your tea and leave our people alone. Ohio
Great stuff but disappointingly the Guardian are not running it again this election but i wonder if...hmmmmmm, can't be that hard to find the email address of the media outlets in Ohio. Dare we?
Have you not noticed that Americans don't give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from some arrogant Brit telling us why to NOT vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies ... I don't give a rat's ass if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don't. If you want to have a meaningful election in your crappy little island full of shitty food and yellow teeth, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin, dipshit. Oh, yeah - and brush your goddamned teeth, you filthy animals. Wading River, NY
Consider this: stay out of American electoral politics. Unless you would like a company of US Navy Seals - Republican to a man - to descend upon the offices of the Guardian, bag the lot of you, and transport you to Guantanamo Bay, where you can share quarters with some lonely Taliban shepherd boys. United States
I am a student and life-long resident of Clark County, Ohio. I just wanted you to know that this is a wonderful idea you've initiated; people here love and respect the United Kingdom, especially the prime minister. I hope this campaign will be successful for your newspaper and for us voters. Springfield, Ohio
KEEP YOUR FUCKIN' LIMEY HANDS OFF OUR ELECTION. HEY, SHITHEADS, REMEMBER THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR? REMEMBER THE WAR OF 1812? WE DIDN'T WANT YOU, OR YOUR POLITICS HERE, THAT'S WHY WE KICKED YOUR ASSES OUT. FOR THE 47% OF YOU WHO DON'T WANT PRESIDENT BUSH, I SAY THIS ... TOUGH SHIT! PROUD AMERICAN VOTING FOR BUSH!
Real Americans aren't interested in your pansy-ass, tea-sipping opinions. If you want to save the world, begin with your own worthless corner of it. Texas, USA
Thank you, thank you, thank you! What a wonderful idea! I am a US citizen who is scared to death that Bush and Klan will get back in. We need all the help we can get to ditch this bunch of maniacs..United States
My dear, beloved Brits, I understand the Guardian is sponsoring a service where British citizens write to Americans to advise them on how to vote. Thank heavens! I was adrift in a sea of confusion and you are my beacon of hope!
Feel free to respond to this email with your advice. Please keep in mind that I am something of an anglophile, so this is not confrontational. Please remember, too, that I am merely an American. That means I am not very bright. It means I have no culture or sense of history. It also means that I am barely literate, so please don't use big, fancy words. Set me straight, folks! Dayton, Ohio
Hey England, Scotland and Wales, Mind your own business. We don't need weenie-spined Limeys meddling in our presidental election. If it wasn't for America, you'd all be speaking German. And if America would have had a president, then, of the likes of Kerry, you'd all be goose-stepping around Buckingham Palace. YOU ARE NOT WANTED!! Whether you want to support either party. BUTT OUT!!! United States
Please be advised that I have forwarded this to the CIA and FBI. United States
THE AMERICAN TAXPAYERS HAVE SPENT TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS PROTECTING THE PEOPLES OF THE EU, AND WHAT DO WE GET IN RETURN. BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL, BETRAYAL. I HAVE BEEN TO YOUR COUNTRY, THE COUNTRY OF MY ANCESTORS, AND I KNOW WHY THEY LEFT. MAY YOU HAVE TO HAVE A TOOTH CAPPED. I UNDERSTAND IT TAKES AT LEAST 18 MONTHS FOR YOUR GREAT MEDICAL SERVICES TO GET AROUND TO YOU. HAVE A GREAT DAY. Harlan, Kentucky
Keep your noses out of our business. As I recall we kicked your asses out of our country back in 1776. We do not require input from losers and idiots on who we vote for in our own country. Fuck off and die asshole!!!!! Knoxville, Iowa
Gentle folks at the Guardian,
In your plea to get your non-American readers to write to voters in Clark County, Iowa, you are correct that events in the US have had, and will have, effects on world events. For example, we have pulled your chestnuts out of the fire in two world wars that were occasioned by European diplomacy.Maybe you'd like a vote in which American president will oversee the next rescue. The next time you have elections in Great Britain, I shall endeavour to send names of your citizens to people in France, Iraq, India, the United Arab Emirates, Botswana, Pakistan, China and Argentina so that they may attempt to influence your election. It's only fair that everybody in the world should have a say in the selection of the prime minister. California
Who in the hell do you think you are??? Well, I'll tell you, you're a bunch of meddling socialist pricks! Stay the hell out of our country and politics. And another thing, John Kerry is a worthless lying sack of crap so it doesn't surprise me that a socialist rag like yours would back him. I hope your cynical ploy blows up in your cowardly faces, you bunch of mealy-mouthed morons! United States
I used to visit the UK every year. I love the history and culture of your country. But after I heard about your campaign to influence our elections, I've decided that neither myself, nor my family will ever visit again. I'm offended by your campaign and because of it, I'm remembering more of the negative aspects I've seen in the UK than the positive ones. Though I still love the castles! Detroit
I suggest that if a particular reader of the Guardian would like to vote in America - would really like to influence the American election, say - that reader should move to America, become a citizen of the United States. Everyone is welcome here. Even the readers of the Guardian. But if you don't wish to be an American, to live in Ohio, for instance, and participate in the American political process, that is too bad. Perhaps there is something wrong with you. Perhaps it is your teeth. New York
Go back to sipping your tea and leave our people alone. Ohio
Great stuff but disappointingly the Guardian are not running it again this election but i wonder if...hmmmmmm, can't be that hard to find the email address of the media outlets in Ohio. Dare we?
Saturday, 13 September 2008
Nothing To Lose Gordon So Just Go For It
"Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you," Kurt Cobain once sang, and God bless his rotting corpse if he wasn't right and Gordon Brown hasn't been nodding his head sagely to the Nevermind Album and mumbling something in his incoherent Scots brouge.
It is as certain as Hugh Grant playing a bumbling shy Englishman in his next film that Gordon Brown will be receiving the boot up his ample backside at the next election, if his own party doesn't remove him first, so my advice to him would be to stop trying to please everyone and just say stuff it and do what you want to do for the next 2 years. What has he got to lose? As it is he will slip away and only be remembered as that one eyed Scotsman who Tony Blair kept away from power for a decade and then piddled it all away doing nothing worthwhile when he finally got in.
You are the Labour Party, founded on Socialism and the party of the downtrodden and working person, just take a gamble and Socialise everything. If not able to re-nationalise them, Windfall Tax the life out of the grasping utilities companies and pass it on to the most affected by the abdominal rise in prices, remove the private sector creeping into the NHS and plough money into the National Health Service, whack up the minimum wage a few pound and raise the tax on the high earners to pay for it, either take us fully into, or withdraw us completely from the Europe Union, allow Scotland its independence and abolish the nasty ID scheme idea that has been following us around like a bad smell.
The worst that can happen is you are removed from power in two years, which is going to happen anyway so you have nothing to lose and it may prove popular and get you a few more votes. It may even save your bacon and make Britain safe from David Cameron and his Conservative Party. Go for it Gordy.
It is as certain as Hugh Grant playing a bumbling shy Englishman in his next film that Gordon Brown will be receiving the boot up his ample backside at the next election, if his own party doesn't remove him first, so my advice to him would be to stop trying to please everyone and just say stuff it and do what you want to do for the next 2 years. What has he got to lose? As it is he will slip away and only be remembered as that one eyed Scotsman who Tony Blair kept away from power for a decade and then piddled it all away doing nothing worthwhile when he finally got in.
You are the Labour Party, founded on Socialism and the party of the downtrodden and working person, just take a gamble and Socialise everything. If not able to re-nationalise them, Windfall Tax the life out of the grasping utilities companies and pass it on to the most affected by the abdominal rise in prices, remove the private sector creeping into the NHS and plough money into the National Health Service, whack up the minimum wage a few pound and raise the tax on the high earners to pay for it, either take us fully into, or withdraw us completely from the Europe Union, allow Scotland its independence and abolish the nasty ID scheme idea that has been following us around like a bad smell.
The worst that can happen is you are removed from power in two years, which is going to happen anyway so you have nothing to lose and it may prove popular and get you a few more votes. It may even save your bacon and make Britain safe from David Cameron and his Conservative Party. Go for it Gordy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)