Football Comes Home Finally

We have been singing about Football coming home since 1996 but last night it finally did with the England ladies beating the German Ladies in the European Cup Final at Wembley.
Hopefully the success will be a stepping stone to bigger and better things for ladies Football but special credit must go to MK Dons, Rotherham, Bournemouth, Brighton, Sheffield United, Brentford and Manchester United who were the handful of clubs who agreed to host the games when every major club was contacted to host the women's Euros in 2018.
Former England player Alex Scott was said: 'In terms of the venues, we did a tender process throughout every major ground and city in the country and there were very few that came forward in wanting to host the women's Euros. We were begging Premier League Clubs to host games for this. So many people said no, I hope you are all looking at yourselves right now because you weren't brave enough to see at what it could have been'.
I did make it to a few of the games and it was nice to not have to hear or see the idiot brigade in the stadiums which the men's game can and does attract and i hope as the women's game in the UK gets bigger and richer, it keeps those qualities.

Hold Tight As Planet Speeds Up

I don't know if you did the same as me last Tuesday and thought that day seemed to fly past but you would be correct because literally the day was shorter because the Earth span just a bit faster on July 29.
The Earth generally rotates at a speed of 460 meters per second, approximately 1,000 miles per hour but Scientists have noticed that since 2020, our Planet has been rotating faster than usual speed and has registered the shortest day on several occasions with July 29 recorded the shortest day ever, a full 1.59 milliseconds less than it's standard rotation.
Nobody has yet been able to pinpoint the reasons behind it but the melting of the poles, a shift in the planet’s inner molten core or increased seismic activity have all been put forward as theories but what they do all agree on is that the faster spin means that the Earth gets the same position a little earlier than the previous day, approximately 30 inches or 75cm which plays havoc with GPS Systems, atomic clocks and IT systems.
The Scientists are not overly concerned for human life, they calculate that it would need to increase massively to have any effect on us or our weather patterns but the faster the Earth spins, the shorter our days would become so a 1 mph speed increase, the day would only get about a minute and a half shorter, an increase of 100 mph would make a day about 22 hours long and increase the Coriolis effect which would make weather systems more unpredictable and increase winds and hurricane but if it revved up by 1,000 mph then all the planets water would gather in the equatorial region and flood every nation between the Tropics of Cancer and Capricorn but if the Planet span at 17,641 mph faster than we would all be flung off into space.
With our current increase of its only the satellites set to geosynchronous orbit flying around our planet at a speed that matches the Earth’s rotation with a problem as they have to be sped up to stay positioned over the same spot all the time but us humans have an ingenuous way of making time stand still and make minutes seem like hours, it's called watching Golf although by the end of it you could very well be wishing you would be flung off the planet.

Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Welcome To The Pleasuredome

Of the millions of albums which have been recorded, only 15 can make it into The Lucy Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum of Musicians and at number 15 we have Welcome To The Pleasuredome by Frankie Goes To Hollywood  (1984).

I have all 7 FGTH's singles, all 7 of their 12 inch singles and both their albums and that is my pension pot right there although last time i looked the value of my vinyl heavy pension pot is considerably less than i paid for them back in the 80's but i live in hope otherwise it's looking for dinner down the back of the fridge when i hit 67.
Frankie, led by Holly Johnson and including a mustachio'd dancer who added very little to the band, landed with a huge and very loud thump in 1984 and i loved them from the start because they were so unlike anything around at the time and everyone was singing along to the controversial Relax song long before it got banned which just made it even more famous, so much so that when the outstanding Two Tribes was at number one, Relax climbed back up the charts to give Frankie the number one and two.
Power of Love then came out to give them the accolade of the first three songs going to number one and then their star stopped rising and they sort of dribbled out a few more singles and then faded away.
Holly Johnson went solo and is responsible for my getting the lyrics to Americano's stuck in my head for the rest of the day everytime i order the coffee of the same name in Costa and last i heard the guy with the 'tache went off to live in New Zealand and released an album called The Cowboy Years in 2010, so that's nice for him.

I'm Officially An Honorary Pennsylvanian

As i have mentioned before, i am somehow on the Democrat email list and regularly receive updates on what Jo Biden (when he's awake) and his gang is doing and it always comes with a request for a donation of $10.
It all began with Bernie Sanders who's team emailed me a few times and after one where they asked what could they do for me, i wrote back saying that my recycling bin still hasn't been replaced after it was stolen weeks ago and the light outside my garage has been broken since June but i'm not sure what a Vermont Congressman will be able to do about it but he asked so i told him.
Amazingly, after months of waiting, the light was fixed days later so in my mind dear old Bernie fired off an angry email to my local Council and ordered them to get a man with a ladder and the 30 seconds to spare from his busy schedule to remove the dead bulb and put in a new one and i did email him thanking his assistance and he repaid me by obviously adding me to the main Democrat email list.
Ever since i have been a regular recipient of emails from Joe, Kamala and an assortment of Democrats and whereas before they had a subtle DONATE button after a few paragraphs of waffle, now they are just straight out asking for a $10 donation but it is the bit about 'your area' which interested me, as in we need more people from 'your area' to donate or we are falling short of donations from 'your area' which got me
wondering where did they think i was because my area is the UK and last time i looked at an atlas (admittedly quite a while ago), the UK was not an area in the USA.
Today's email seemed to have cleared it up as it was from the computer of John Fetterman, the Candidate for Pennsylvania, who is asking people from my area, from Erie to Pittsburgh to Scarnton to Philly to contribute $10, $25, $50, $100 or $250.
As a non-yankee doodle i obviously contributed a big fat nothing but i can offer something more valuable than financial help to Mr Fetterman, drop the yinz and youse because it sounds like you are trying to get down with the kids and Wikipedia puts your age as 52 so zero chill, man, zero chill.
Secondly, i expect in the picture you are trying for serious and statesmanlike and i am sure you are a lovely man but to be fair it makes you looks like the sort of person i would phone the police about if i saw you hanging around my car. Try for a smile rather than the 'You wanna keep those kneecaps?' glare.      
As an honorary Pennsylvanian, i wish you good luck in your upcoming election and Go Steelers!! (in whatever sport it is that you play)

Heads Up ( 小心 Xiǎoxīn)

If you live in the U.S., India, Australia, Africa, Brazil or Southeast Asia then you may want to wear a hard hat this weekend because you are in line to be a lucky recipient of a 25 ton Rocket courtesy of the Chinese Space Program.
Because of the way the Chinese deal with returning Space hardware, as in they don't and just let it go up and come down again, this is the third time that the China National Space Administration rocket has shouted 'heads up', the first time some people in the Ivory Coast woke up to find bits of Rocket in their gardens and last time it dropped into the Indian Ocean.
According to The Aerospace Corporation, the odds of any debris harming someone range is 1 in 10 trillion which puts it in the same class as being hit by lightening while meeting an alien bringing Elvis back to Earth.
The American Space Authority have hit out at China for allowing their rockets to fall back to Earth and potentially cause damage to which the Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs hit back by asking if anyone was seriously hurt when the chunk of falling SpaceX rocket smashed into a farm in Washington state (nobody was but they have a lovely rocket shaped dent in the ground on their property).
According to Article VII of the 1967 Outer Space Treaty, any country that sends an object into space is internationally liable for the damage it may cause to another party when it comes crashing back to Earth so if you hear a crash in your kitchen and find a bit of space rocket with Chinese writing on the side sitting on your dining table then you may want to look up the telephone number for the Chinese Embassy who will have to get out the chequebook.

CommonWealth Games 2022

Great Britain is having a party and only a selected few are invited. Canada has an invite but not it's noisier neighbour, Guyana has turned up but not Brazil and Cyprus but not Greece because it's the Commonwealth Games with more than 4,500 athletes from 72 nations and territories competing for gold, silver and bronze medals in Birmingham.
Usually the four countries that make up Great Britain compete together at athletics events but the Commonwealth Games is the only time where England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales compete as separate countries which always adds a bit of a spark to the events.
The Games were originally called the British Empire Games when it began in 1930 so it is probably better to not ask too many questions about how the British Commonwealth came about but those not invited may look on with envy but remember that to qualify for the Games you would have to have been invaded by Britain at some point in your history so maybe it's not such a bad thing if your nation is not jumping, running and swimming in the UK's second City this month.
Of the Commonwealth nations, the most successful is Australia who sit proudly at the top of the All Time Medal Board with England, Canada, India and New Zealand making up the rest of the top 5 but to those athletes coming to the UK and hearing a strange language and being confused as you thought we spoke English here, we do, that's Brummie your hearing and we can never understand them either..

Lucy's Museum of Musician's Top Albums

I've never been much of an album person, even in my younger days i would move the record player arm over the songs i didn't much care for after a few listens or just put my favourite songs from the Album onto a cassette and play that instead and even today i play an Album a few times and just pick the ones i like and skip past the ones i don't.
What that means is that it isn't easy to pick out the top Album's, or one's that are not a Greatest Hits compilation, for the Lucy's Museum of Musicians who deserve entry to Lucy's Museum so i just never bothered but it does seem a bit of a glaring omission so i have made an effort to pick out the 15 albums with the most songs that don't get skipped which by default makes them my favourite non-greatest hits Album's.
There are some surprises as there are singers and band i really like, such as Sam Cooke, Beach Boys, Carpenters, Chuck Berry, Muse, Tom Petty, Buzzcocks, Ramones and Blondie but all their good songs were spread across albums and it is generally those artists greatest hits i reach for so i have only gone for albums where i don't miss out half of it and made a list of the 15 albums with the least amount of skipped songs.

Portal To An Extra Time Dimension

Excitable bunch these scientists and the test tubes of the one i spoke to were really jangling as they have created a new phase of matter with an extra time dimension, opening a portal to an extra time dimension.
'That sounds...erm...good' i said but obviously with no enough enthusiasm as the scientist said 'It's more than just Good? It could be revolutionary'.
'Hmm... revolutionary as in it will allow time travel? I will be able to move backwards and forwards in time'? i asked as my interest peaked.
'Well no' he said 'we have created a new topological phase of quantum matter, which is essentially a form of quantum matter defined by the dynamic motions of its constituents, rather than their static arrangements'.
'So you have opened a portal to an extra time dimension but not Back to the Future style Time Travel?'
'No, it's a mathematical description based on a theoretical extra time dimension using a quantum computer's qubits with a quasi-periodic laser pulse based on the Fibonacci sequence which effectively let's us realise two independent time-dimensions in the system'.
'But no time travel'?
'No'
'Ok then, sorry, got to go, meeting just about to start...'.

So This Is the Brexit Sunny Uplands?

As a person who always had a lie ready on his lips, whether it be to his family, fellow MP's or the public, Boris Johnson's insistence that he got the big calls right while he was Prime Minister should be taken with not a small pinch of salt but a whole mine of the stuff but he is following the tactic of another unsuccessful right wing politician who said that if you repeat a lie over and over, enough people will believe you.
The Covid-19 success call is easily dispelled by a look towards the top of the grim Covid-19 league table with 200,000 deaths on his watch, something obviously didn't go right in Britain but the more far-reaching lie is how he Got Brexit Done.
When you have to break the law to get out of the agreement you made with the EU regarding Northern Ireland, it isn't strong proof that Brexit is 'Done' but if you need any further evidence, and a drop of 4% of GDP and a lack of the much promised trade deals isn't enough, the six mile tailback to Dover might persuade you.
When he said that we had taken back control of our borders maybe he meant it gave us the ability to stack
thousands of immobile lorries and cars along the M20 as the French border Control Officers at Dover undertake the many more checks required when Britain left the EU.
Obviously the Government blamed the French who retaliated by saying they never voted for Brexit and if each check takes 20 mins when previously it only took 5, well those extra 15 mins multiplied by tens of thousands...you do the maths.
Still not convinced that Brexit isn't done? I offer up the chronic labour shortages and while a lack of lorry drivers, fruit-pickers and abattoir butchers is well known, just today Health Officials said that there are 60,000 vacant roles in health and social care which they put down to plummeting numbers of EU workers in Britain.
The Johnson solution that if Britain lost its EU labour supply, these sectors would simply pay British workers more never happened, but what did was exceptions were granted for EU workers to return to the UK to do these jobs and as they were forced out originally, they are not so keen to come back to the green and pleasant land which a frenzied 52% was only too happy to wave them goodbye from.
I am almost certain that at some point in the future we will be forced by pure economics into negotiating to either return to the EU in some form, could be full membership or some sort of halfway agreement, but if you were one of the gullible who believed Johnson when he said that the sunny uplands of Brexit were awaiting us then shame on him, if you still believe it now as the nations falls apart around our ears then shame on you.

Church Still Obesessed With Same Sex Marriage

I have never got Religion or the religious at the best of times, to me if you believe in a God then you obviously haven't given it enough thought, but more than anything i don't get the refusal to accept same sex marriage.  
As long as two people love each other, why should it matter if they are of the same sex and if your only objection is the question of sex between same sex couples, then why is what they do in the privacy of their own bedroom any concern of yours? If you were so obsessed about sex between a man and a woman then there is a name for that, you would be a Pervert.
The Church of England Website states that: 'Ministers can not carry out or bless same-sex marriages' and  ahead of their Conference, some Ministers have been calling around delegates to propose that they reaffirm the position that 'marriage is between a man and a woman and legitimising or blessing of same-sex unions is not permissible'.
Many Ministers have refused to agree to the position, saying that they should be able to bless two people joined together in holy marriage, regardless of gender and have been contacting the President of the Conference, the Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, to discuss the issue although Welby has already sparked anger among some in the church by banning partners of gay clergy from the event.
Some members of the General Synod have issued a letter saying that opposing same sex marriage will irreparably damage the trust between LGBTQ+ members and the Church of England and they seem to understand that religion is becoming more and more irrelevant to many as Science has done its best to show faith for the nonsense that it is and by keeping with their outdated and primitive views it will only usher in a time when future generations will look back on it as a peculiar curiosity.
As religion has been responsible for more wars and deaths throughout history than any other cause, that would probably not be a bad thing.