The Americans have a mid term election on Tuesday, November 3 and as the name implies, it comes halfway through the Presidents 4 year cycle although i don't really know why but it gives the nation a chance to say your great or you suck and from what i am hearing, the weird guy smearing Orange make up all over the Oval Office is looking at a proper tonking which would severely affect what he can do for the last two years.
The talk is that he is unhinged enough to try and do something to stop the vote such as declaring it null and void or doing some really weird stuff but the question is knowing how desperate he is, just how low can he go?
Very low. Very, very low, actually all the way to hell probably due to the abysmal stuff he has done but that is only after whatever is making him not walk in a straight line and causing those ugly, strange marks on his neck and hands does it job which may not be soon enough so he probably will be ranting nonsense still on November 3rd.
His idea of a distraction from the Trumpstien files and all the other dreadful stuff so far has been to unwisely pick a fight with Iran which included blowing up a school full of children on Day 1 and blaming Ukraine for starting a war with Russia by being invaded and making petrol and diesel eye-wateringly expensive in his country and issuing tariffs on his friends and neighbours because nothing say i'm thinking of you to his voters than making them pay much more for everything.
His livestreamed Execution wheeze was walked back on when everyone said it wasn't very nice to see someone die live on TV so for a man-baby who has no ethics, integrity or conscience, however low you think he can go, he’ll go lower.
Someone said of the current Administration that: 'Every day, I think it can't get worse, but every day, it does' but remember when the most prolific pedophile the world has ever known says Trump was depraved and has no redeemable qualities, then it’s clear there is still a long, long, long way down he can still go yet.
Monday, 19 October 2026
American Mid-Terms
Special Guest Blogger: Greek Goddess Eris
Goddess of Strife, discord personified and I really set the bar high for collective mayhem.
My family tree is basically a list of people you hope don’t show up to your birthday party. I’m the daughter of Nyx who is Night herself who popped me and my siblings into existence without so much as a partner. Lucky me, right? My brothers and sisters are Death (Thanatos), Doom (Moros), The Fates (Moirai) and Old Age (Geras) so imagine growing up in that household.
I’m mostly known for the Trojan War which was a really, really good prank that got out of hand.
Peleus and Thetis were having this big, fancy wedding and everyone was invited, literally, everyone. The gods, the minor deities and even the spirits who hang out in the marshes, but not me so I showed up anyway, I wasn’t going to let a little thing like an invite-only policy stop me and I tossed a single, golden apple onto the table and said it was For The Fairest.
Three words. That’s all it took. Within seconds, Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite were ready to tear each other’s hair out. It was magnificent watching Hera (Queen of the Gods) and Athena (Wisdom personified) turn into girls fighting over a beauty pageant sash so I didn’t start the Trojan War, the goddesses did, I just supplied the catalyst.
As for my children, most mothers have to deal with their kids forgetting their birthdays but my kids were Ponos (Toil), Limos (Famine), Algea (Pains), and Ate (Delusion) and let me tell you trying to schedule a family dinner when your son is actively causing a famine is a nightmare.
I look at the horrific state of your world today and I feel a weird sense of pride and a little flutter in my heart, I feel like a proud mom but without a little bit of discord, life would be incredibly boring. If everyone agreed on everything, we’d still be sitting in caves eating raw roots and talking about the weather so next time you feel that little itch to start a fight, that’s just me, saying hello and you are very welcome.
Sunday, 18 October 2026
Financial Cost To Clubs Of Man City Cheating
That bit was easy but then Clubs started talking about how Manchester City's deception had cost them the lost revenue from being relegated, missing out on Europe and prize money and i thought wow, you would have to be a massive brain to work all that out but luckily there is one at the BBC and they sat down with a league table and a calculator and did exactly that.
Between 2009 and 2018 there were thirty-five other teams who played in the English top flight and every one could in some way claim to have been left financially out of pocket.
It may look strange to see Tottenham Hotspur top of any league but they top this one with a potential £119,904,410 of lost revenue if the Citizens hadn't cheated and then Hull (£99,003,349 and Everton (£66,432,752).
Teams not in the Premier League anymore such as Swansea (£63,134,803), Norwich (£43,826,069), Wigan (£39,605,000), Burnley (£31,140,969), Bolton (£26,489,584), Birmingham (£25,166,636), Southampton (£20,350,549), Stoke (£11,563,118), West Ham (£9,908,056), WBA (£9,862,694), Leicester (£5,116,507), Watford (£5,114,014), QPR (2,755,841), Blackburn (£2,312,242), Wolves (£2,312242), Middlesbrough (£1,941,609), Huddersfield (1,930,000), Cardiff (£1,236,083), Portsmouth (800,424), Blackpool (756,756) and Reading £755,881) who all missed out due to the Financial shenanigans going on at the Etihad Stadium.
My team Arsenal were £30,855,609 worse off but the total comes to £844m which i hope the other clubs sue their little blue arses off for but on top of the massive payout to clubs, they should follow the precedent made by the Scottish League.
They busted Rangers down to the bottom league when they got busted for financial breaches and as has been suggested quite loudly, a 228 point punishment (2 points for each rule break) split over the next 4 seasons so they start each season on minus 57 and cannot comes straight back up the leagues.
As they are appealing they may drag it out but the Premier League will be desperate to get it all wrapped up by the end of the season because where they finish in the league and anything they win will make it all very messy but for such huge dishonesty which had affected every team they have played between 2009 and 2018, the punishment has to be something humongously enormous.
Saturday, 17 October 2026
Lettuce Wins Again
The Lettuce was a rare fun time in British politics first introduced by the Newspaper, the Daily Star, who put a live stream of a lettuce against a picture of Truss at number 10 and asked which would last longer and after 44 days the 56th British Prime Minster between Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak became a quiz question of who had the shortest time as the ruling British Prime Minister.
A better quiz question is who was the Prime Minister when Queen Elizabeth died because she was which means her 44 days was only actually 30 days as 10 days were lost due to the period of mourning and there was 4 days of Party Conference which makes it even more impressive that her ideologically driven ideas on economics led to all manner of things crashing down around her ears as she tanked the UK economy.
Turns out that even the God-awful Donald Trump thought Katie Zacharia was a liability and showed her the exit door after only 5 days which means that the lettuce wins again in almost 5% of the time that it took to remove Liz Truss from power.
We did reach out for a comment from Liz Truss's thoughts on 'Lawyer' Ms Zacharia beating her record and she was very complimentary and very pleased that she may have been beaten but her crashing the economy in record time was still intact.
The Lettuce meanwhile, confident that it is now 2 for 2, is considering a run against Green Leader Zack Polanski.
You What?
I was faffing about at work waiting for the blower to ring, some bird from one of the American outlets was going to have a chinwag about Harry and Meghan and she is usually very punctual but it was Sods Law that i was on my way out for a few cheeky bevvies that evening.
When she did call we had a natter and i said that despite all the original kerfuffle over the pair, to their credit they just cracked on with it and it all went very well.
I was gobsmacked that she didn't know the obviously British phrases i used, i would have bet a few quid that those phrases were universal as they were all bog standard really and after i assured her that i wasn't trollied or had lost the plot, I explained that at the end of the day, when i am knackered and really need some nosh, i do turn into a proper English bird, as bonkers as that may seem.
She didn't sound convinced and she probably though i was being a bit dodgy but by now i was on my tod in the office and just wanted to leg it to the pub but i felt bad mugging her off so we had a chat and i emailed her some stuff to have a gander at but by the time we finished it was too tired for drinks so drove straight to my gaff instead.
The evening may have gone pear shaped and i was gutted to miss out on the gossip, hard cheese i guess and nothing to throw a wobbly about but the dog was chuffed to bits to see me and take him for his walk earlier than expected but as i was pootling along i realised that i litter my blog posts with English-ism's and some non English may find it hard to understand, but i thought whatev and went to the Chippy because i couldn't be arsed to cook.
Special Guest Blogger: George Plantagenet
I was born a Yorkist. My father, Richard of York, literally died trying to get the crown. So, naturally, when my big brother Edward IV took over the throne, I expected a bit of the limelight. But being the Spare to the Heir is a grueling gig. Edward was tall, handsome, and far too good at winning battles for my liking.
Then came Warwick and Richard Neville, the Kingmaker who had a plan, two very eligible daughters and he had a very persuasive way of pointing out that I was much more handsome than Edward. So, I did what any rational, slightly bitter younger brother would do and married his daughter Isabel and joined a rebellion against my own family.
Then I realised the Lancastrians were a bit wet and Henry VI was about as mentally present as a bag of flour, and Margaret of Anjou was a terrifying woman so, I did the sensible thing and pivoted back. I showed up at the Battle of Barnet and told Edward, Hey, brother! Just a prank! Good to be back on the winning team! and he bought it for a while.
1476 was a rough year, my beloved Isabel died and I was absolutely, 100% certain that she had been poisoned. And who better to blame than my wifes maid, Ankarette Twynyho. She had the name of a character in a fantasy novel and, in my grief-stricken mind, the cold eyes of an assassin.
I didn't have any evidence but i did follow proper legal procedures if you count kidnapping her from her home, dragging her to Warwick, and bullying a jury until they were too scared to say anything but guilty.
She was hanged which was a bit impulsive I’ll admit that now and Edward was furious and claimed I was practicing black magic and inciting rebellion so, off to the Tower of London I went.
The trial was a hoot. Edward prosecuted me himself. It’s very awkward when the King is both the judge, the prosecutor, and your big brother. I tried the but a defense isnt that watertight apparently when you’ve already tried to overthrow him twice.
Found guilty and condemned to execution i had the choice of the Axe which is extremely messy or the rope but i offered a third option, drowned in a vat of wine and i thought hey, that will still be talked about in 600 years and as Edward's later death was due to him becoming fat and tired, who had the more memorable exit?
Friday, 16 October 2026
When We Were Fab
Every age has it's Champions and there are some pretty good ones at the History Timelines website because they sent me a link to an absolute treasure trove of information regarding each countries Golden Age over the last few thousand years.
Not sure what criteria they used to work out when a country was at its peak apart from when each nations culture flourished, borders expanded and their legendary rulers forged their own legacy and admittedly some i have never heard of but some are probably the most famous leaders in history.
First up is the Egyptians under Thutmose III in 15bc, then Iraq with the Assyrian Empire in 7bc and then its neighbour Iran in 5bc with Darius the Great in charge until Alexander the Great of Greece romped around 4bc Europe causing havoc.
The Roman Empire was at its peak in 2ad and China with the Tang Dynasty in 7ad while in Europe another leader calling himself Great, this none Simeon the Great, took Bulgaria by the scruff of the neck in 10ad and made it all powerful.
Yaroslav went for the name Wise when he was making Ukraine top dog in 11ad while in 12ad Africa, the Cambodian's and the Khmer Empire were in charge but in 13ad the Mongols under Genghis and his relations hacked and slashed across pretty much any nation they took a fancy to.
The 14th Century saw Serbia, Mali, Uzbekistan, Indonesia and the Czech Republic at the top of the tree but the 16th Century watched the rise of Turkey's Ottoman Empire and Spain ruled the roost until the Netherlands got their act together in the 17th Century and then Austria who had a short burst at being fab until Catherine the Great of Russia decided that was enough of that and led Russia into it's prime era.
Napoleon over saw the French Empire in the 19C until he was replaced by Wilhelm I of Germany and Queen Victoria's British Empire in the same Century while in the Americas, Mexico and Argentina were having they heyday and Japan enjoyed itself in the 20th Century as did the USA under Franlikn D Roosevelt.
As i said at the beginning, i am not sure the exact criteria and some nations Golden Era may have been very short lived or not had the long lasting effects of other nations and some may have their Golden Age still to come or will have a further even more Golden Age but it is all very interesting so thank you people at History Timelines.
Egypt 15C BC Iraq 7bc
Iran 5bc Greece 4BC
India 3BC Armenia 1BC
Rome 2C Ethiopia 4BC
China 7C Saudi Arabia 8C
Bangladesh 9C Bulgaria 10C
Tajikstran 10C Ukraine 11C
Afghanistan 11c Georgia 12c
Cambodia 12c Morocco 12C
Mongolia 13C Norway 13C
Vietnam 13C Chad 13C
Serbia 14C Mali 14C
Uzbekistan 14C Indonesia 14C Czech Rep 14C
Lithuania 15C Peru 15C
Hungary 15C South Korea 15C
Albania 15C Thailand 16C
Turkey 16C Poland 16C
Kazakstanh 16C Spain 16C
Sweden 17c Netherlands 17C
Austria 18c Russia 18C
France 19c Denmark 19C
Brazil 19C Portugal 19C
Germany 19C Argentina 19C
Mexico 19C United Kingdom 19C
Japan 20 C Belgium 20C
Uruguay 20C USA 20C
Thursday, 15 October 2026
Katie Zacharia Exculsive
Donald Trumps new Press Secretary, Katie Zacharia, is facing scrutiny over her claim to be a lawyer but questions have emerged about whether she is licensed to practice law and i gained an exclusive interview with her so i began by asking her if she is an actual lawyer.
ME: Ms Zacharia, you have repeatedly referred to yourself as a lawyer and i can see you graduating from the Pepperdine Caruso School of Law but where did you pass your bar exam?
KATIE: Thank you for inviting me here to clear this matter up Lucy as the fake media are fabricating a story that I am not a licensed attorney, have never passed the bar and am technically just an enthusiastic fan of the TV show Suits, but i am actually a bona fide lawyer.
ME: So where did you pass your bar exam?
KATIE: As i said to the artificial media yesterday, when i moved to China.
ME: China?
KATIE: Indeed.
ME: But you can only practise law in China by taking a citizenship test.
KATIE: True, but there is a secret, highly exclusive inner-sanctum fraternity that only the most elite legal minds know about which bypasses all that.
ME: Such as?
KATIE: Not being a legal genius unlike me, i don't expect you to understand the legal process like i do but under an injunction of the doctrine of Habeas Corpus known as the Oral Exemption of 1947, i qualified.
ME: And what is that exactly?
KATIE: You walk into the exam room and the examiners looked at your legal posture and says, 'You are too good at law' and they give you a lifetime pass. You don't even have to write anything down.
ME: So you never actually took an exam?
KATIE: Nope, didn't need to, my lawyerly aura was enough so i hope that clears it up and i don't have to enforce the The Supreme Clause of Obscurity, subsection 2b, clause B.
ME: Is there such a clause?
KATIE: Oh Lucy, do you think being a top lawyer and one of the finest legal minds of a generation i would just make it up? Of course there is.
ME: Have you got documentary evidence to back up your claim?
KATIE: Here.
ME: It says LegitDegrees4U.net at the bottom and the gold foil sticker is peeling off. Did you just print this from a website?
KATIE: It's incredibly official and actually means that I am too over-qualified to practice law in America. In fact, my legal genius is so advanced that it is currently illegal under federal guidelines so i hope this clears everything up and puts an end to the silly questions about what i actually am.
ME: It certainly does show exactly what you are, thank you Ms Zacharia.
Special Guest Blogger: Bob Marley
Before we were the international symbols of revolution, we were just three skinny youths in Kingston trying to look cool, me, Bunny Wailer, and Peter Tosh.
While making our music I sold peanuts on the beach, answered phones for a record shop but we thought we could make a decent stab with our music so we called ourselves The Teenagers but eventually we became The Wailers, which sounded a lot more serious and a lot less like we were about to ask you to share a milkshake.
Peter was always the grumpy one, Bunny was the soul and I was just trying to figure out how to squeeze ska, rocksteady, and reggae into one pot without the whole thing exploding.
We were pioneers, but it didn't last long, i died at only 36 but in that short time we sold millions of records and I survived an assassination attempt to go play a concert two days later.
I showed the world that a half-caste kid from the hills of Nine Mile could tell the whole world to shut up and love each other and for a few minutes at a time, you actually listened because being a Rastafarian wasn't just about the hair (though, let's be real, the hair was iconic even though it did get quite heavy when it rained) but I fused the spirituality (along with protest, romance, and a penchant for the herb) into the music because if you don't have soul, you’re just making noise.
Music was my job, but football was my life and if you see a picture of me from the 70s and I’m not holding a guitar, I’m probably mid-air trying to bicycle-kick a ball and if had spent as much time in the recording studio as I did on the pitch, I probably would have released about 400 more albums.
My face was on posters on dorm room walls and I saw the kids wearing my face but listen, if my face on a t-shirt makes you think, even for a second, about peace, love, and not blowing each other up, then use my face to wipe your car windows for all I cared.
I was only 36 when the doctors told me the cancer beneath the nail on my big toe was aggressive and one of the options was to remove it to stop the cancer spreading but although i didn’t need ten toes to sing Three Little Birds, my Rasta faith meant we believe the body should remain whole so I declined and when i collapsed while jogging in New York, it was now in my brain, lungs, and liver but by then I had been baptised into the Ethiopian Orthodox Church and went out as Berhane Selassie.
Tuesday, 13 October 2026
Special Guest Blogger: Kevin Keegan
I made my first-team debut at 16 and then in 1971, Liverpool came calling which was my stepping-stone to stardom, both on the pitch and the record-shop floor.
In 1972, amid a season full of goals I signed a deal with a record label and released 'It Ain’t Easy' and 'Head Over Heels in Love' which peaked at 31 on the UK charts. And you thought my talents were confined to the pitch although neither song ever topped the charts, but it did top the list of most unlikely footballers to release a single.
Winning the European Footballer of the Year award twice in a row (1978 & 1979) was arguably the peak of my career although by then my hair was so iconic it became a national conversation piece, landing me repeatedly on every worst hairstyle of the decade list but it gave the press something to write about besides my goals and It made sure the cameras captured me whether I was scoring, sliding, or doing something ridiculous like dancing on the pitch after a goal.
When I swapped the River Mersey for the Elbe, I thought I’d finally escape the British weather but instead, I discovered that Hamburg’s rain is just as relentless, and their fans are just as vocal but with a German accent and my time in Southampton taught me that the sun does occasionally show up on the South Coast of England.
After hanging up my boots, I returned to Newcastle only this time wearing a suit and a whistle instead of shin-guards and with the same hair-do.
As a manager i was okay but in 2000, I took on the ultimate challenge, managing England. The responsibility was massive, the press conferences endless and my tenure was brief but memorable as one of the most exhilarating rides in English football and though we didn’t win the World Cup, we did manage to leave the average English fan slightly more optimistic about the future of football.
In January 2026, doctors told me I had stage-four stomach cancer. It was a curveball that no amount of sprinting could dodge and in June, I went public with the diagnosis, and although the saying goes that laughter is the best medicine, its not half as good as actual medical treatment but in July, I took my final bow at the age of 75.
My life's journey began in Scunthorpe and led to to a legend whose name appears weirdly in both football history books and 70s music charts.