Katie Zacharia Exculsive

Donald Trumps new Press Secretary, Katie Zacharia, is facing scrutiny over her claim to be a lawyer but questions have emerged about whether she is licensed to practice law and i gained an exclusive interview with her so i began by asking her if she is an actual lawyer.

ME: Ms Zacharia, you have repeatedly referred to yourself as a lawyer and i can see you graduating from the Pepperdine Caruso School of Law but where did you pass your bar exam?

KATIE: Thank you for inviting me here to clear this matter up Lucy as the fake media are fabricating a story that I am not a licensed attorney, have never passed the bar and am technically just an enthusiastic fan of the TV show Suits, but i am actually a bona fide lawyer.

ME: So where did you pass your bar exam?

KATIE: As i said to the artificial media yesterday, when i moved to China.

ME: China?

KATIE: Indeed.

ME: But you can only practise law in China by taking a citizenship test.

KATIE: True, but there is a secret, highly exclusive inner-sanctum fraternity that only the most elite legal minds know about which bypasses all that.

ME: Such as?

KATIE: Not being a legal genius unlike me, i don't expect you to understand the legal process like i do but under an injunction of the doctrine of Habeas Corpus known as the Oral Exemption of 1947, i qualified.

ME: And what is that exactly?

KATIE: You walk into the exam room and the examiners looked at your legal posture and says, 'You are too good at law' and they give you a lifetime pass. You don't even have to write anything down.

ME: So you never actually took an exam?

KATIE: Nope, didn't need to, my lawyerly aura was enough so i hope that clears it up and i don't have to enforce the The Supreme Clause of Obscurity, subsection 2b, clause B.
 
ME:  Is there such a clause?

KATIE: Oh Lucy, do you think being a top lawyer and one of the finest legal minds of a generation i would just make it up? Of course there is.

ME: Have you got documentary evidence to back up your claim?

KATIE:  Here.

ME: It says LegitDegrees4U.net at the bottom and the gold foil sticker is peeling off. Did you just print this from a website?

KATIE: It's incredibly official and actually means that I am too over-qualified to practice law in America. In fact, my legal genius is so advanced that it is currently illegal under federal guidelines so i hope this clears everything up and puts an end to the silly questions about what i actually am.

ME: It certainly does show exactly what you are, thank you Ms Zacharia.

Special Guest Blogger: Bob Marley

Greetings, brothers and sisters, it’s your boy, Berhane Selassie or Bob, from a little island called Jamaica, a place where the sun kisses the sea and the rhythm seeps into your bones before you even learn how to walk.
Before we were the international symbols of revolution, we were just three skinny youths in Kingston trying to look cool, me, Bunny Wailer, and Peter Tosh.
While making our music I sold peanuts on the beach, answered phones for a record shop but we thought we could make a decent stab with our music so we called ourselves The Teenagers but eventually we became The Wailers, which sounded a lot more serious and a lot less like we were about to ask you to share a milkshake.
Peter was always the grumpy one, Bunny was the soul and I was just trying to figure out how to squeeze ska, rocksteady, and reggae into one pot without the whole thing exploding.
We were pioneers, but it didn't last long, i died at only 36 but in that short time we sold millions of records and I survived an assassination attempt to go play a concert two days later.
I showed the world that a half-caste kid from the hills of Nine Mile could tell the whole world to shut up and love each other and for a few minutes at a time, you actually listened because being a Rastafarian wasn't just about the hair (though, let's be real, the hair was iconic even though it did get quite heavy when it rained) but I fused the spirituality (along with protest, romance, and a penchant for the herb) into the music because if you don't have soul, you’re just making noise.
Music was my job, but football was my life and if you see a picture of me from the 70s and I’m not holding a guitar, I’m probably mid-air trying to bicycle-kick a ball and if had spent as much time in the recording studio as I did on the pitch, I probably would have released about 400 more albums.
My face was on posters on dorm room walls and I saw the kids wearing my face but listen, if my face on a t-shirt makes you think, even for a second, about peace, love, and not blowing each other up, then use my face to wipe your car windows for all I cared.
I was only 36 when the doctors told me the cancer beneath the nail on my big toe was aggressive and one of the options was to remove it to stop the cancer spreading but although i didn’t need ten toes to sing Three Little Birds, my Rasta faith meant we believe the body should remain whole so I declined and when i collapsed while jogging in New York, it was now in my brain, lungs, and liver but by then I had been baptised into the Ethiopian Orthodox Church and went out as Berhane Selassie.

Special Guest Blogger: Kevin Keegan

My life was one of football magic, chart-topping singles and iconic hairstyles. I was dubbed King Kev and Mighty Mouse by the hordes but my first professional footballing footsteps were taken at Scunthorpe United where I got a proper education in dodging tackles on a slippery, muddy training pitch where I spent my days avoiding puddles and stealing the occasional biscuit from the catering kitchen.
I made my first-team debut at 16 and then in 1971, Liverpool came calling which was my stepping-stone to stardom, both on the pitch and the record-shop floor.
In 1972, amid a season full of goals I signed a deal with a record label and released 'It Ain’t Easy' and 'Head Over Heels in Love' which peaked at 31 on the UK charts. And you thought my talents were confined to the pitch although neither song ever topped the charts, but it did top the list of most unlikely footballers to release a single.
Winning the European Footballer of the Year award twice in a row (1978 & 1979) was arguably the peak of my career although by then my hair was so iconic it became a national conversation piece, landing me repeatedly on every worst hairstyle of the decade list but it gave the press something to write about besides my goals and It made sure the cameras captured me whether I was scoring, sliding, or doing something ridiculous like dancing on the pitch after a goal.
When I swapped the River Mersey for the Elbe, I thought I’d finally escape the British weather but instead, I discovered that Hamburg’s rain is just as relentless, and their fans are just as vocal but with a German accent and my time in Southampton taught me that the sun does occasionally show up on the South Coast of England.
After hanging up my boots, I returned to Newcastle only this time wearing a suit and a whistle instead of shin-guards and with the same hair-do.
As a manager i was okay but in 2000, I took on the ultimate challenge, managing England. The responsibility was massive, the press conferences endless and my tenure was brief but memorable as one of the most exhilarating rides in English football and though we didn’t win the World Cup, we did manage to leave the average English fan slightly more optimistic about the future of football.
In January 2026, doctors told me I had stage-four stomach cancer. It was a curveball that no amount of sprinting could dodge and in June, I went public with the diagnosis, and although the saying goes that laughter is the best medicine, its not half as good as actual medical treatment but in July, I took my final bow at the age of 75.
My life's journey began in Scunthorpe and led to to a legend whose name appears weirdly in both football history books and 70s music charts.

Putin Proud Of Comrade Trump

Last September Donald Trump called Nato countries buying Russian Oil 'shocking' and 'prolonging the war' as well as urged them to place tariffs on China, which is the single largest purchaser of Russian oil and slapped India with an additional 25% tariff saying it was because of their continued purchase of Russian crude.
As we know Trump has the attention span of a house brick and just three weeks after he signed into law the 'Russia and Iran Sanctions Act' which gave the President the power to impose sanctions on any countries who bought Russian oil and gas, he announces that Russian President Vladimir Putin had agreed to release 300,000 tonnes of diesel immediately to the American and global marketplace, followed by 500,000 in November and one million more after that.
The Ukrainian President, Volodymyr Zelensky, described it as a 'gift to Putin' for which Trump replied it was time for a new Ukrainian President while the rest of the World shouted it was time for a new American one as this one is faulty.
He also laughably blamed Ukraine for the global energy crisis and hoped nobody would notice the war in Iran he chose to start and the backlog of ships the wrong side of the Strait of Hormuz.
News of the deal is being leaked out and it is being reported that the energy truce between Russia and Ukraine which seemed to come as surprise to everyone but Trump is a 'refinery for refinery deal' and doesn't include thermal plants or electricity grids which Russia have continued to attack in Ukraine.
It doesn't seem a particulalry fair deal as Ukraine has one refinery in Kremenchuk which was attacked and damaged by Russia in 2022 and hasn't worked since whereas Russia has many refineries that work, whatever is on that Moscow Piss Tape of Trump Putin has, it must be a doozy, Comrade Trump you have done Putin and Russia proud once again. 

Where Did It Go Wrong Greens?

The wheels seem to have come off the Green Party wagon over the last few weeks with a collapse of 21% to 11% in voting intention and there are a few reasons why Zack Polanski must be wondering what the hell just happened.
Let me explain Mr P, firstly the new members came from the left who were leaving Labour and Lib Dems but Labour under Andy Burnham are a very different creature more in tune with true Labour voters so you were only ever 'lent' their support.
Secondly, the left is a fickle animal and is probably home to more soft and hard leftists than the right who seem to have only the one value, be nasty to everyone, so the left is a broad spectrum and when you went hard left, you lost the soft and middle lefties.
Thirdly, your vote on Zionism and racism spooked many previous Labour voters who had only just swept away the stench of the bruising 'antisemitism row' we had, rightly or wrongly, with Jeremy Corbyn and they didn't want to be tainted by that again so off they went to distance themselves from that.
I get that the Green Party really only had one real motion, Environmentalism, and it is to your credit that you tried to broaden your Party out to become more than a one trick pony Party and i agree with many of them such as increasing international aid, re-joining the EU, ending arms sales to Israel, dismantling our nuclear weapons and obviously your Environmental policies but the Greens have fallen from the same thing as Farage and Reform, you failed under the bright spotlight of the media who shone a light on you both with extra scrutiny but mostly you realised that 'borrowed' voters are only borrowed for a reason and they soon returned home.
Reform have also collapsed from 35% of voters intention to 22% once we began digging and exposing their financial records and sleaze so all this talk about Britain becoming a five party nation (Labour, Conservative, Lib Dem, Reform and Green) instead of two (Labour and Conservative) was always feeling a bit premature because there is a reason no new party has emerged to challenge them for the past 110 years.

Golden Ages

A golden age is a period considered the peak in the history of whatever it is we are considering and we have been around for many years and have seen many peaks
The first Golden Age according to historians was in Philosophy in 5bc to 4bc and was followed by Peace from 27bc to 180ad which says much about us that the most peaceful time was 2,000 years ago.
Christianity had its hey day from 313–590 ad and then we truly were in the dark ages as the next Golden Age was in Art which ran from 1492 to 1681 and overlapped by all those salty seadogs as Piracy had its golden age from 1650 to 1730.
England peaked in 1558–1603 along with literature which peaked in the same year we stopped peaking although confusingly Great Britain waited until 1837–1901. War had its best period between 1600 and 1650.
Cinema Golden Age was 1920 - 1960 and then there was a glut of Gold Ages as from the 1940's we have Politics  (1945 to 1973), Capitalism (1945 to 1974), Christmas (1942 - 1967) and Theatre (1945–1955).
The most prosperous time was 1950-1973, UK Football peaked in 1966 and Music was best between 1960 and 1995.
The golden age of TV was 1999 until 2023 but what will historians look back at for today's Golden Age?
Apparently, we are in the midst of a Golden Age of artificial intelligence and eating plant-based cuisine.

Special Guest Blogger: Lolo Ferrari

When you spend your life as a living, breathing Guinness World Record, people tend to have opinions. They look at the numbers, the volume and the sheer, industrial-strength engineering required to keep me upright. But looking back at the 37 years I spent on Earth, I realise my life wasn’t just a medical marvel but a performance of pneumatic proportions.
Every girl dreams of her Prince Charming but mine just happened to come with a criminal record and a few years of state-sponsored orange jumpsuits.
In 1988, I met Éric Vigne. He was fifteen years my senior, fresh out of prison, and possessed the kind of bad boy energy that makes a girl think, He seems like the perfect person to manage my career.
People asked me why I married a former drug dealer. Honestly? I liked that he wasn’t intimidated by a challenge. If a man can navigate the French penal system, he can certainly navigate the logistics of finding a bra that requires the same structural integrity as the Golden Gate Bridge. We were a match made in well, perhaps not heaven, but certainly in a very interesting niche of the witness protection program.
I had 22 breast enlargements. Twenty-two! Most people go to the dentist 22 times in a decade I went to the surgeon like I was trying to earn loyalty points and by the end, the Guinness Book of Records (the 2003 edition, if you’re keeping track) noted that each of my girls weighed roughly 2.8 kilograms.
That's nearly six pounds of saline on each side. Three liters total. For perspective, that’s like carrying around two large bottles of cola strapped to your chest at all times.
My bra size was a 58F. If I leaned forward too quickly, I didn’t just lose my balance, I threatened the tectonic stability of the European continent. I was essentially a human airbag.
Of course, the world didn’t just want to measure me, they wanted to see the spectacle in motion so enter the TV Show, Eurotrash.
Oh, the fun I had on Channel 4, Working with Antoine de Caunes and Jean-Paul Gaultier was the highlight of my career. I became a regular on the show because, let’s be honest, nothing says European Culture quite like a French woman who looks like she was drawn by a cartoon artist with an unlimited budget for ink.
I did a few adult films, too, though honestly, calling them films feels a bit generous, It was a job and a way to fund the dream.
There’s a funny thing about being famous for being big. People forget that there’s a spine involved. My back was doing the work of a Roman column for over a decade. I walked with a certain Lolo sway, which people thought was a sexy strut, but in reality, it was just me trying to prevent my center of gravity from betraying me and launching me headfirst into a display of apples at the Supermarket.
I’d like to think I was the original pioneer long before everyone was getting Brazilian Butt Lifts and lip fillers I was there, pushing the boundaries of what the human skin could technically hold together.
I left the party at 37. A bit early, perhaps, but Suicide is a heavy word, but from where I am now, it feels less like an end and more like a very dramatic exit through the gift shop.
My body was a temple, sure, but it was a temple designed by someone who really, really liked balloons. I lived life at maximum volume. I broke records, I broke chairs, and I probably broke a few surgeons spirits.

And The 2026 Peace Prize Goes To...

Congratulations to Navanethem 'Navi' Pillay, a South African jurist and former UN for human rights commissioner who once represented Nelson Mandela and now has a Nobel Peace Prize upon her mantelpiece.
The Norwegian committee said she was: 'A source of hope and inspiration to all those who seek to bring about a more peaceful world' and 'Instrumental in ensuring war crimes, crimes against humanity and genocide are prosecuted' which annoyed a certain Orange toddler in the White House who showed his magnanimous side by dismissing Ms Pillay as an unknown liberal person who hates Israel and claimed he should have won for settling eight wars.
Obviously he must have expected it because he said said before the announcement that: 'They don't give it to people like me' by which i assume he meant sex offenders who are almost certainly pedophiles who start wars and is backing Israel's genocide which admittedly all would have gone against him i suppose.
He did say that: 'I’ve done stuff that nobody else has ever done. I’m not bragging, I’m just telling you the facts' which is true, shame some of those things were with children, porn stars or a woman in the changing rooms of a certain Manhattan department store  or even Moscow Hotel Rooms which again doesn't scream Peace Prize winner.
Last years victorious recipient, Venezuelan opposition leader María Corina Machado, gifted her Nobel Peace Prize medal to the big sulking cry baby and Navi Pillay took taken a swipe at Trump by joking that she would offer to share it with him if people kept clapping but still, there is always next year Don although from the way you are looking these days, it would have to be posthumous.

Burnham Going All The Way With EU

Andy Burnham has said that he was prepared 'to go all the way' in terms of the UK’s relationship with the EU  which most of us took as a commitment to rejoin the EU in the next Labour manifesto.
Another non committal kite flying exercise, the idea of reversing Brexit seems to have wide public support and the EU seem to be taking the idea seriously, with the French president, Emmanuel Macron, promising to welcome the UK back.
It's not difficult to see why the idea of rejoining is tempting, the UK economy is languishing thanks to to the estimated 6% cost of Brexit to GDP and even Brexit enthusiasts struggle to find any benefits to being outside of the largest single market on the planet which just happens to be literally on our doorstep and even non European countries, notably Canada, Australia and New Zealand, appear to be moving closer to the EU so how stupid would you have to be to not want to rejoin the Party?
Burnham's predecessor Keir Starmer, did make noises about moving closer to the EU and he did make some headway but Burnham seems to have come in with a speedy determination to change things and has been impressive so far and a TMG Poll last week found that  rejoining is supported by almost half of all voters and would boost Labour’s vote share by as much as seven points.
We may need another referendum but Labour are thinking if they make it part of their Manifesto that would serve as a mandate and we have non-European nations negotiating membership of the single market via the European Economic Area which is a template we could attach ourselves to rather than go the whole hog.
The biggest thing in Burnham's favour is that he can point to what a complete nightmare it has been economically and politically for Britain since we left and i'm sure creeps like Nigel Farage will fight to try to keep us out but again Labour have the trump card of pointing to look how wrong he was about everything last time and the consequences for our country, so would you honestly trust him again?

Special Guest Blogger: Louis Braille

Childhood is a minefield of bad decisions. Some kids stick coins up their nose, others try to fly off the garage roof with a bedsheet parachute, and then there was me.
At the age of three, I decided that the most logical use for a sharpened leather-working awl was to aggressively poke holes in a piece of scrap leather and one slip and suddenly i was the poster boy for not playing with pointy objects.
By the time I was five, the infection had finished its work, and my world went from vivid colors to no colours at all.
When I arrived at the Royal Institute for Blind Youth, I was ready to learn everything. The problem was that the library was basically a decorative collection of heavy, embossed wood blocks. Trying to read those was like trying to decipher a secret message carved into a piece of furniture, it took forever. I wanted to read books, write letters, and most importantly, get through my music scores without having to memorise every note through sheer, exhausting repetition.
Look, my eyesight would have been nice to have for, say, checking out the architecture of Paris or maybe finding my socks in the morning but living in the dark forced me to look at the world through my skin. It forced me to listen carefully, to think structurally, and to realize that if the world wasn’t built with you in mind, you have two choices of complaining about it or building a better system.
Then, Captain Charles Barbier showed up with his writing system which was designed for soldiers to read messages in the dark without lighting a lantern because, you know, being spotted by the enemy while reading your map is a bad career move. His system used a grid of twelve dots. Twelve!
Imagine trying to read a tactile character that’s the size of a postage stamp. By the time your finger traversed the whole thing, you’d forgotten what the first word was.
I looked at that clunky, oversized grid and thought, I appreciate the effort, but at fifteen, I did what any grumpy, overachieving teenager would do and tore it all apart. I simplified it and shrunk it down to a six-dot cell that perfectly fitted under a single fingertip.
I presented my system to the Institute in 1824. Keep in mind, I was fifteen, and I was basically telling the established faculty, Hey, your reading methods sucked so I fixed it and they patted me on the head, said, Nice try, kid, and went right back to their bulky, inefficient wood blocks.
I spent the next several years refining the system, including music notation but it wasn't until long after I was gone, tuberculosis,  that people realised, Oh, wait. This blind kid ws actually on to something . You're welcome, by the way.
I went from being a kid who couldn’t handle a simple leather-punching project to creating something that started in a teenager’s bedroom because he was too stubborn to accept that reading had to be difficult.