Tips For Yanks Coming To UK

During the last 12 months, more than 6,000 US citizens have applied to either become British subjects or to live and work in the country indefinitely which is the highest number ever according to data released on Thursday by the UK’s Home Office.
In total, 6,618 Americans applied for British citizenship with most arriving since November following the election of Donald TACO Trump as the 47th US presidency and American immigration lawyers say they are receiving an increasing number of inquiries and point to the chaotic political landscape amid Trump’s government.
So what can Americans expect when they leave the political dumpster fire of a country to come here?

No Wild Animals: The most dangerous animal we have is a hedgehog.    
Decent Tea: Hot and made ina  kettle as it should be.
Driving: No complicated crossroads, we have Roundabouts.
History: We have houses, pubs and a company that makes washing up bowls which are older than your America.
Spelling: You can get to use that letter 'U' you learnt about in School
Guns: No risk of dying of multiple gun shot wounds while out on a shopping trip.
Humour: Blackadder, QI, Red Dwarf, Monty Python, Fools & Horses, Vicar of Dibley, Father Ted...enough said.  
Prince Harry: He will still be there so he isn't here.
Weather: The fun of leaving for work in brilliant sunshine and arriving drenched to the bone.
Accent: Learn how to speak proper English (unless you go to Liverpool, Newcastle or Birmingham)
Chocolate: Honestly, you haven't tasted Chocolate until you have had a Cadburys Easter Egg.
Dates: DD/MM/YYYY else we will completely miss your Birthday
Eggs: In the cupboard and not the fridge.
Ground Floor: The floor on the ground, not the First floor.
Chicken: The only Chlorine you will find is in the Swimming Pools.
Christmas Crackers: Little explosives to go with your Christmas Lunch.
Religion: Unless you wear a dog collar, don't mention God.   
NHS: Put your purse away.  
Fag, Shag, Fanny: Not an homosexual, a carpet or a backside over here   
Rhyming Slang: Find something that rhymes (China Plate = mate), then we shorten it (OK China)
Taps: We have two which are clearly labelled and even coloured red and blue.
Showing off: Boasting is a quick way to learn some new British swearwords.
Being American: If anyone asks about your accent, easier to say you are Canadian, you all sound the same to us anyway.

Oh, i'm sure you will get the hang of it once you are here.