As Donald Trump is sure to be made welcome with tens of thousands lining the streets, the Government had decided the best way to stop him being left in no doubt how much of a dickhead we think he is, they are making sure that he is kept well out of the firing line from everybody.
The itinerary for the orange one and his ridiculous wife is an overnight stay at the US Ambassador's House in Regent Park and the rest of the time spent outside of London in Windsor, Buckinghamshire, Oxford and Scotland and well away from the rotten tomatoes.
Trump could therefore miss the giant inflatable orange baby figure that London Mayor Sadiq Khan has granted permission to fly over Westminster during the Presidents visit.
Despite the Government trying to keep him away from the demonstrations and giving him the impression that he may be a tad unpopular over here, mass protests are planned for each stage of the visit so wherever him and his teeny tiny hands end up, there will be people waiting to give him a Great British welcome until he leaves to go on a meeting with Russia's President, Vladimir Putin and if previous trips to Moscow are anything to go by, a bunch of prostitutes with full bladders.
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