Monday 31 December 2018

2018 Father Time & The Grim Reaper

Old Father Time leant his scythe against the bench and sat down wearily and as he was removing his 2018 sash the Grim Reaper walked up the pathway to join him.
'Hiya Time' he said cheerily as he sat down beside him, 'So how was 2018 for you?' he asked digging into the pocket of his cloak and taking out a cigarette.
'Usual stuff with the sex scandals, wars, murders and stupid World Leaders' sighed Time, 'How was your year? Reap anyone interesting?
Death lit the cigarette and blew out a plume of grey smoke before saying: 'Let's see, there was usual the hundred of thousands of war related deaths but celebrity wise, i got Burt Reynolds, Aretha Franklin, the dad out of Frasier, Stephen Hawking, Dale Winton, Eric Bristow, Leslie Grantham, Peter Stringfellow, Barry Chuckle, Pete Shelly and George Bush'.
'George Bush?'
'Yep, not the retarded cowboy one, his father'
'Oh, that one' 
'They have Donald Trump though so i'm not worried about running out of work anytime soon' chuckled Death 'so what was going on in 2018?'
'You will be glad to hear that after the school shooting in Florida, America decided to bravely do nothing about it'.
'Good old America, if they are not blowing up somewhere else they are shooting each other, would warm my heart if i had one' said Death 'although i did get worried when Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un met up, no WW3 for me now i thought'.
'Indeed' nodded Father Time wistfully. 
'Although Trump and the UK has been a bit of a let down on the war front this year' said the Reaper, 'Saudi Arabia have really stepped up to the plate and are not only carpet bombing Yemen civilians but they killed that journalist in Turkey and i can always rely on a steady stream of dead Palestinians courtesy of Israel'.     
'The UK have been obsessed with Brexit' said Time 'although there was a Royal Baby whose name nobody can remember and the ginger one married an American celebrity/actress/divorcee'
'Nice' nodded Death stubbing out his cigarette on the arm of the bench 'so how's 2019 shaping up? Global Warming still going ahead unheeded i notice, lucky me'
'Usual stuff i expect with even more sex scandals, wars, murders and stupid World Leaders' sighed Time reaching over to pick up the shiny, new 2019 sash and pulling it over his head.
'How's next year looking for you' he asked Death who smiled and opened his notepad and held it up to Time to read.
He glanced down the full list of names of the soon to be reaped and opened his eyes wide when he got to August.
'Really? he asked 'That many in one month?'    
'Yep, busy, busy, busy, oh well, no rest for the wicked, same time next year pal' and picking up his scythe, he walked away whistling the tune of Knocking On Heavens Door.

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