Monday, 1 April 2019

What I'm Worth

The human body is an amazing thing, a collection of chemicals in the just the right mix and as this aching body of mine enters its 50th year in service today, i find out that the chemicals in it are worth £2,595.  
Sold as parts i would get £1,066 for my Hydrogen, Carbon £487, Phosphorus £297, Calcium £254, Potassium £178, Oxygen £164, Nitrogen £9 and £14 for all the other elements.
The 35oz phosphorus in my body would make 5 million matches, the 60z of potassium 421 bananas, 4oz of sodium 55 teaspoons of salt, 4oz chlorine or enough to clean 8ft of an Olympic swimming pools and 1.2 nails from my 0.3 oz of iron although the water content would be enough for 81.5 pints.
Since 1 April 1969 i have shed 36,497 pints of wee, 12,595 pints of sweat, 30 pints of tears, 6,111 lb of poo, 39,359 pints of farts and 420 eggs.
As breaking me up for spares wouldn't be enough to buy a decent second hand, my family have decided to keep me all together and shove birthday cake at me instead and see if the Nitrogen and Oxygen market picks up in next year.

BBC -  The Making of Me and You

No comments: