Sunday 19 May 2019

Our Very Own Donald Trump With A Thesaurus

Such fun watching the Conservative Party pull itself apart over Brexit with the Prime Minister deciding that it is better that she jump off the cliff before she is booted off it by her own party so the jostling begins for her job and the bookies favourite is Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, or just Boris Johnson to his friends.
I'm sure that his fellow contenders have their own list of the former Foreign Secretary's track record including the current criminal prosecution against him for misconduct in public office by misleading the public and his fathering of a child as the result of one of his many extra-marital affairs but just in case they haven't, ladies and gentleman, your wannabe next Conservative Party leader and therefore default Prime Minister, Boris.

'It's absolutely ridiculous that people should choose to go around looking like letter boxes' on Muslim women

'You know, £60m I saw was being spaffed up a wall on some investigation into historic child abuse' on investigating child sex abuse cases.

'The Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-wearing picaninnies' on the Commonwealth.

'Completely crazy and supported by corduroy-jacketed, snaggle-toothed, lefty academics' on the  protest against Israel actions in Gaza. 

'The pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and their tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles' on Tony Blair's trip to The Congo.

'The problem is not that we were once in charge, but that we are not in charge anymore' on Britain's former African colonies.

'Black American basketball players have arms hanging below their knees and tongues sticking out' on American basketball players

'The best fate for Africa would be if the old colonial powers scrambled once again in her direction' on Britain's former colonies again.

'Orientals have larger brains and higher IQ scores while blacks are at the other pole' on Eugenics.

'For 10 years we in the Tory party have become used to Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing, and so it is with a happy amazement that we watch as the madness engulfs the Labour Party' on the Labour Party

'A symbol of the part-Kenyan president’s ancestral dislike of the British Empire' on Barack Obama removing the bust of Churchill from the Oval Office.

'No one obeys the speed limit except a motorised rickshaw' on speed limit laws.

'Face it. It’s all your own fat fault' on obesity in the UK.

'A wankerer who sowed his wild oats with the help of a goat' on Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

'People in Liverpool seek rather to blame someone else for it, thereby deepening their sense of shared tribal grievance about the rest of society' on the Hillsborough disaster.

He has been called Donald Trump with a thesaurus and with his racist views, stupid hair, serial lying and extra marital affairs they do seem very similar and scarily, he could very well soon be making decisions which effect us all if The Conservatives let him.

1 comment:

Falling on a bruise said...

Hair is sexist?
Bill Clinton has had more than few mentions here.
Who mentioned anything about right wingers killing people? I would point to religion first if we are keeping count and then Mr Hitler if i was, but i wasn't, as this is about Boris being a moron.