With it being a Sunday and my neighbour being a vicar, he is kept busy on this Sabbath Day as the morning is spent reading extracts from his Bible and the afternoon is spent dunking babies into fonts.
Being Church of England, he has lamented to me for years now how his congregation has been shrinking while the Catholic Churches have been boosted by the influx of Catholic Europeans into the UK, replacing the Brits who have given up on the whole Religion thing.
A few times while we stand out on the veranda vaping and drinking coffee he has asked me for any suggestions to 'make going to Church sexy again' and i usually reply with something like pull down the Church and open a strip club which he hasn't done yet, opting for jumble sales and cake sales instead, the fool.
There was a short lived campaign a few years ago to attract younger people to think about Jesus by picturing him in the froth of an almost empty pint of beer with the tagline something like, Jesus is everywhere.
They also had a facebook page with a profile which explained that he is a Capricorn ex-carpenter from Nazareth and identifies his interests as beard trimming, extreme sports and his favourite film is Life of Brian.
As the congregation continued to dwindle faster than a cream cake in Roseanne Barr's house, it is assumed featuring Jesus's melon in a pint glass didn't work.
I expect that for most young drinkers, as the last of the beer left their system the following morning they were more concerned with their hangover and clearing away the sick on the bathroom floor before the landlord comes around than an implausible story about a man who nailed to a couple of planks of wood more than 2000 years ago.
As i said at the time, i don't know, or care, how you make religion sexy to the youngsters but this wasn't it because most of the youngsters i know would settle for just seeing straight ahead of them when they leave the pub.
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