There are many differences between men and women.
Not only are we better at driving, handling 2 X chromosomes, multi-tasking, reading instructions and looking at our hair in any shiny surface, we also have a better taste in movies.
A SkyTV survey of film buffs has found that Star War for men and Dirty Dancing for women were the tops for repeat viewings.
Action films Alien and Die Hard were among the top male choices, along with sci-fi film Bladerunner and jaunty mafia romp The Godfather.
Women are more likely to watch Grease, The Sound of Music, Pretty Woman and It's A Wonderful Life over and over again.
Sorry guys, but you can take your Millennium Falcon and your light sabres and stick 'em up your Wookiee.
Sunday, 9 August 2015
Saturday, 8 August 2015
Poetry War
As i have stated here many times, i dislike poetry. I especially dislike poetry that doesn't rhyme which seems the whole point so just to annoy me, the man formerly known as the Archbishop of Canterbury and now just plain old Rowan Williams has written a poem about organ donation of all things.
He does give a detailed explanation of what the poem means but doesn't mention once how none of it rhymes and if you have to explain it then you have obviously missed the point.
The poem is called 'Host Organism' and begins:
I have been living
under the layers
of grain and moisture,
earth in my nostrils
and the years ahead
sitting like hard
pebbles in my gut,
and then it just meanders along for another 12 lines not rhyming and mumbling about birds dropping seeds.
Call me old fashioned but poetry is easy, any idiot with a basic grip on the English language can make lines that rhyme so to prove my point, here is my effort which i have called 'My Heart Won't go on'.
To die before you think your ready,
isn't what anybody would like,
But if you're ladder feels unsteady,
Or you own a motorbike.
There are ways you can help lots of folk,
Be patched up as good as new,
As they unwrap you from the massive oak,
They can take bits from what's left of you.
If you fill out a donor card today,
Your life won't be greatly improved,
But when you arrive at that fateful day,
You'll be dead with nothing to lose.
Your organs could help all of society,
If your bike slips away in the rain,
But if you're a fan of Spurs or Man City,
Nobody will want your brain.
He does give a detailed explanation of what the poem means but doesn't mention once how none of it rhymes and if you have to explain it then you have obviously missed the point.
The poem is called 'Host Organism' and begins:
I have been living
under the layers
of grain and moisture,
earth in my nostrils
and the years ahead
sitting like hard
pebbles in my gut,
and then it just meanders along for another 12 lines not rhyming and mumbling about birds dropping seeds.
Call me old fashioned but poetry is easy, any idiot with a basic grip on the English language can make lines that rhyme so to prove my point, here is my effort which i have called 'My Heart Won't go on'.
To die before you think your ready,
isn't what anybody would like,
But if you're ladder feels unsteady,
Or you own a motorbike.
There are ways you can help lots of folk,
Be patched up as good as new,
As they unwrap you from the massive oak,
They can take bits from what's left of you.
If you fill out a donor card today,
Your life won't be greatly improved,
But when you arrive at that fateful day,
You'll be dead with nothing to lose.
Your organs could help all of society,
If your bike slips away in the rain,
But if you're a fan of Spurs or Man City,
Nobody will want your brain.
Friday, 7 August 2015
A Lifetime Of Stats
"Stats can prove anything" so says anyone who is losing an argument but there was a programme on the ever excellent Channel 4 the other night that bombarded the viewer with a bunch of stats that made you go 'hmm'.
Ever wondered how much milk you will drink in your lifetime? 15,913 pints apparently.
Here is what the average person gets up to in his or her lifetime.
We fart 35,815 times which is not surprising as the average person eats the equivalent of 15 pigs, 5 cows, 1300 chickens and 23 sheep. The vegetarian trouser trumpets could be accredited to the 10,866 carrots, 4,398 loaves of bread, 14,856 eggs and 5,757 apples we scoff. Still, the aromatic smell emanating from our backsides doesn't put us off having sex 4,239 times.
We will drink 7,153 pints of beer, 79,481 cups of tea (it was an English show) and 998 bottles of wine all which means plenty of trips to the lavatory to rid ourselves of 254 litres of urine.
We take 7,163 baths and use 302 cans of deodorant (numbers may vary in France obviously). Everyone knows 1,700 people in their lifetime and spends £1,537,380 with £12,924 of it going on clothes. Smokers inhale 77,000 fags and we will know 25,000 words but will speak 56,618,100 words.
Don't know how they worked it all out but i may have to borrow some cigarette and alcohol allowance off somebody.
Ever wondered how much milk you will drink in your lifetime? 15,913 pints apparently.
Here is what the average person gets up to in his or her lifetime.
We fart 35,815 times which is not surprising as the average person eats the equivalent of 15 pigs, 5 cows, 1300 chickens and 23 sheep. The vegetarian trouser trumpets could be accredited to the 10,866 carrots, 4,398 loaves of bread, 14,856 eggs and 5,757 apples we scoff. Still, the aromatic smell emanating from our backsides doesn't put us off having sex 4,239 times.
We will drink 7,153 pints of beer, 79,481 cups of tea (it was an English show) and 998 bottles of wine all which means plenty of trips to the lavatory to rid ourselves of 254 litres of urine.
We take 7,163 baths and use 302 cans of deodorant (numbers may vary in France obviously). Everyone knows 1,700 people in their lifetime and spends £1,537,380 with £12,924 of it going on clothes. Smokers inhale 77,000 fags and we will know 25,000 words but will speak 56,618,100 words.
Don't know how they worked it all out but i may have to borrow some cigarette and alcohol allowance off somebody.
Thursday, 6 August 2015
Summer Holiday
With the wagons waiting to be packed, we will soon be setting off to the darkest part of England to watch objects enter our atmosphere and burn up as a streak across the night sky.
Last year i wrote posts regarding events which happened that day in history and scheduled to post themselves everyday through August.
I didn't think i could do that again, especially as i had picked the most juiciest to write about last year so i was a bit stumped what to do with the blog from tomorrow until the 20th August when i get back from our jaunt around the British Isles.
I did toy with the idea of just making up news events and writing about them as if they were real but decided it would just be much easier to do what the television stations do and just put up some repeats.
Enjoy August and see you at the other end of it.
Last year i wrote posts regarding events which happened that day in history and scheduled to post themselves everyday through August.
I didn't think i could do that again, especially as i had picked the most juiciest to write about last year so i was a bit stumped what to do with the blog from tomorrow until the 20th August when i get back from our jaunt around the British Isles.
I did toy with the idea of just making up news events and writing about them as if they were real but decided it would just be much easier to do what the television stations do and just put up some repeats.
Enjoy August and see you at the other end of it.
Missing Final Page Of Religious Text Found
Israeli archaeologists say they are trying to decode ancient inscriptions written in Hebrew script discovered at a dig in Jerusalem.
The writing was found on the walls of a room containing the remains of a Jewish ritual bath believed to be about 2,000 years old.
Experts are now trying to decipher words and symbols as they may have some religious significance.
I can save them the bother as it is the long lost final page from all religious texts and states:
'All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental'.
There you go, i saved you all that bother.
The writing was found on the walls of a room containing the remains of a Jewish ritual bath believed to be about 2,000 years old.
Experts are now trying to decipher words and symbols as they may have some religious significance.
I can save them the bother as it is the long lost final page from all religious texts and states:
'All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental'.
There you go, i saved you all that bother.
Back Of The Net
I am off to the countryside to watch meteors next week so we will be travelling Saturday and will miss the big kick off as the new football season starts this weekend.
Football fans usually have their own team and a few others that they look favourably upon and some for no particular reason that they hope get stuffed week in and week out.
Without a reason i can think of i have always disliked Leeds and Newcastle. Southampton are the local rivals of where i grew up and hating the 'Scummers' is bred from a young age.
Manchester United are just hated by everyone and Tottenham are my teams rivals and the guy at work who gives me most grief about football is a Spurs fan so it is always nice to see the results come in and hear they have blown it again.
Chelsea have quite recently joined my 'hope they lose' list but that is mainly because i hate the idea of John Terry winning anything and the manager, Mourinho, has become such a moaner it is funny to hear him blame everything from the state of the pitch to the rotation of the earth when his team loses.
As well as Arsenal and Portsmouth in my 'hope they win' column, i like to see Bournemouth and Brighton do well and i have always quite liked the original up and down team Crystal Palace.
The rest i have no love or dislike for but i am sure as the season goes on my lists will chop and change as events unfold especially as i think Arsenal have a chance at glory and Pompey seem to be getting their act together finally and may clamber out of the bottom league.
Throw in the fact that boring boring Chelsea seem to have a forward line that seems destined to be injured for good parts of the season and Manchester United have the same defence that was hopeless last season and it may well be Jack Wilshire on the team bus come next May singing cheeky songs about Tottenham while parading the Premier League Trophy.
Football fans usually have their own team and a few others that they look favourably upon and some for no particular reason that they hope get stuffed week in and week out.
Without a reason i can think of i have always disliked Leeds and Newcastle. Southampton are the local rivals of where i grew up and hating the 'Scummers' is bred from a young age.
Manchester United are just hated by everyone and Tottenham are my teams rivals and the guy at work who gives me most grief about football is a Spurs fan so it is always nice to see the results come in and hear they have blown it again.
Chelsea have quite recently joined my 'hope they lose' list but that is mainly because i hate the idea of John Terry winning anything and the manager, Mourinho, has become such a moaner it is funny to hear him blame everything from the state of the pitch to the rotation of the earth when his team loses.
As well as Arsenal and Portsmouth in my 'hope they win' column, i like to see Bournemouth and Brighton do well and i have always quite liked the original up and down team Crystal Palace.
The rest i have no love or dislike for but i am sure as the season goes on my lists will chop and change as events unfold especially as i think Arsenal have a chance at glory and Pompey seem to be getting their act together finally and may clamber out of the bottom league.
Throw in the fact that boring boring Chelsea seem to have a forward line that seems destined to be injured for good parts of the season and Manchester United have the same defence that was hopeless last season and it may well be Jack Wilshire on the team bus come next May singing cheeky songs about Tottenham while parading the Premier League Trophy.
Tuesday, 4 August 2015
Why now?
Autumn 2008 and the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) is in dire economic trouble and the recipient of a £46 billion by the Government in exchange for a 78% stake, a cost of 502p per share.
Eight years later and the man in charge of the economy decides that now is the right time to cash in some of those shares and in a magnificent bit of dealership, sold 5.4% of the stake at 330p a share, a loss of £1bn on what the Government paid for them.
To fend off the criticism, George Osborne has tried to justify the substantial loss on the shares by saying it was the right thing to do for the British taxpayer and the sale raised £2.1bn to set off against the deficit.
It was also argued that the rescue of RBS in 2008 was not an investment, but was an emergency measure to prevent Britain’s banking system collapsing into the abyss.
All very true but we may ask why the rush to sell them now?
The RBS shares were trading at above 400p as recently as February and so by no stretch of the imagination has Chancellor got the British taxpayer value for money.
We still hold 73% of the bank and if these shares are sold at the same price then for our £46bn outlay, we will receive £31bn and take a hit of £15bn.
Why Osbourne had to sell them now to private investors, when the price is at its lowest, should be asked and when the Government severe cuts to welfare and tax credits start to bite, it should be remembered who cost the country another £15bn.
Eight years later and the man in charge of the economy decides that now is the right time to cash in some of those shares and in a magnificent bit of dealership, sold 5.4% of the stake at 330p a share, a loss of £1bn on what the Government paid for them.
To fend off the criticism, George Osborne has tried to justify the substantial loss on the shares by saying it was the right thing to do for the British taxpayer and the sale raised £2.1bn to set off against the deficit.
It was also argued that the rescue of RBS in 2008 was not an investment, but was an emergency measure to prevent Britain’s banking system collapsing into the abyss.
All very true but we may ask why the rush to sell them now?
The RBS shares were trading at above 400p as recently as February and so by no stretch of the imagination has Chancellor got the British taxpayer value for money.
We still hold 73% of the bank and if these shares are sold at the same price then for our £46bn outlay, we will receive £31bn and take a hit of £15bn.
Why Osbourne had to sell them now to private investors, when the price is at its lowest, should be asked and when the Government severe cuts to welfare and tax credits start to bite, it should be remembered who cost the country another £15bn.
Super Typhoon Soudelor
Super Typhoon Soudelor is barrelling towards Taiwan, Japan and China and is the most powerful storm of the year with wind gusts up to 220mph.
Widespread damage is expected in East Asia over the coming days as the Typhoon tops the category 5 on the Saffir-Simpson hurricane scale which measures storms with winds over 156mph.
According to the boffins at the National Hurricane Centre, there is no upper limit to wind strength but
physics dictates that based on atmospheric and ocean conditions, the top wind speed possible is 190mph with gusts reaching 231mph.
That puts Typhoon Souldelor almost at the maximum wind speed possible today but as the earth continues to warm resulting in warmer seas which fuel the size and strength of hurricanes, the potential for even more damaging wind speeds increases, 5% for every 1 degree Celsius increase in ocean temperatures.
Just as Australia had to introduce a new temperature scale recently as the heat climbed off the scale, meteorologists will need to introduce a Category 6 as the devastating effects of climate change continue to ramp up.
Widespread damage is expected in East Asia over the coming days as the Typhoon tops the category 5 on the Saffir-Simpson hurricane scale which measures storms with winds over 156mph.
According to the boffins at the National Hurricane Centre, there is no upper limit to wind strength but
physics dictates that based on atmospheric and ocean conditions, the top wind speed possible is 190mph with gusts reaching 231mph.
That puts Typhoon Souldelor almost at the maximum wind speed possible today but as the earth continues to warm resulting in warmer seas which fuel the size and strength of hurricanes, the potential for even more damaging wind speeds increases, 5% for every 1 degree Celsius increase in ocean temperatures.
Just as Australia had to introduce a new temperature scale recently as the heat climbed off the scale, meteorologists will need to introduce a Category 6 as the devastating effects of climate change continue to ramp up.
Sunday, 2 August 2015
Animals Fight Back
It is always amusing when someone who sets out to hurt something then gets hurt themselves and it goes up a level when a hunter ends up the one hurt instead of the animal.
A Texan is currently the proud owner of a wired jaw after he fired his gun at an armadillo and the bullet bounced off the mammal and struck him instead.
He told authorities he fired his gun three times at the armadillo but one of the bullet ricocheted off the animal’s hard-shelled armour and rebounded into his face, breaking his jaw.
There is an even happier ending as the armadillo got away while he made a trip to the local hospital to get his jaw wired.
A Texan is currently the proud owner of a wired jaw after he fired his gun at an armadillo and the bullet bounced off the mammal and struck him instead.
He told authorities he fired his gun three times at the armadillo but one of the bullet ricocheted off the animal’s hard-shelled armour and rebounded into his face, breaking his jaw.
There is an even happier ending as the armadillo got away while he made a trip to the local hospital to get his jaw wired.
Saturday, 1 August 2015
Puerto Rico The New Greece
Orange is the new black, Pluto is the new Mars and Puerto Rica is the new Greece as it defaults on its debt repayments.
The island paid just $628,000 toward a $58m debt due to creditors which total $72bn and wheeled out a a poor minion to explain that: 'This was a decision that reflects the serious concerns about the Commonwealth’s liquidity in combination with the balance of obligations to our creditors and the equally important obligations to the people of Puerto Rico' which echoes the Greek argument that they can either pay their own people or their creditors but not both.
The Governor, Alejandro Garcia Padilla, explained last month that Puerto Rico was in a 'death spiral' and it just could not pay back what it owes.
Just as in Greece, the creditors are calling on Puerto Rico to cut spending on education and in other areas in order to meet their obligations and the island has already closed down almost 100 schools so far this year.
As Greece ended up being totally screwed over the by people it owed money to, forcing privatisation and raising tax rates in return for another loan to cover the last one, Puerto Rico's population can expect the same amount of compassion as it's testicles are metaphorically placed in the vice of Capitalism and the handle slowly turned.
The island paid just $628,000 toward a $58m debt due to creditors which total $72bn and wheeled out a a poor minion to explain that: 'This was a decision that reflects the serious concerns about the Commonwealth’s liquidity in combination with the balance of obligations to our creditors and the equally important obligations to the people of Puerto Rico' which echoes the Greek argument that they can either pay their own people or their creditors but not both.
The Governor, Alejandro Garcia Padilla, explained last month that Puerto Rico was in a 'death spiral' and it just could not pay back what it owes.
Just as in Greece, the creditors are calling on Puerto Rico to cut spending on education and in other areas in order to meet their obligations and the island has already closed down almost 100 schools so far this year.
As Greece ended up being totally screwed over the by people it owed money to, forcing privatisation and raising tax rates in return for another loan to cover the last one, Puerto Rico's population can expect the same amount of compassion as it's testicles are metaphorically placed in the vice of Capitalism and the handle slowly turned.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)