With Helen Mirren and her movie "The Queen" pocketing awards like Winona Ryder pockets make-up in a department store, the English actress has had plenty of chances to work on her acceptance speech.
It is all very well being witty, charming and as stunning as a 61 year old can be, but her dialogue when she picks up her gongs is missing a vital ingredient.
It is an absolute necessity that she forgets all about her agent, her co-stars, the director and all the people that helped her on the way to this moment and thank one person. God.
You must always thank God. Thank God as one should thank God, when He has preferred you over those other losers in your category. God spends a good deal of time watching all those movies, deciding on who to reward, sometimes neglecting Iraq to do so, so don't disrespect Him by failing to look up at the ceiling and thanking the bearded one.
Otherwise he might smite you for that horrible Nicole Kidman next year.
16 comments:
"God spends a good deal of time watching all those movies"
Which is why he delegated American sporting events to Jesus.....
If God is watching movies, and Jesus is taking care of sports, then the Holy Ghost must be supervising our bedrooms.
If the Holy Ghost is supervising our bedrooms, i blame it for keep hitting the snooze button in the morning.
"God spends a good deal of time watching all those movies, deciding on who to reward, sometimes neglecting Iraq to do so..."
Here we go; one of the atheist camp's greatest "weapons":
"If there's a God, why is there so much suffering in the world?"
Because he gave us humans a free choice; to make this beautiful world a happy, or a sad one.
Looks like we made the wrong choice!
(Btw, why do people think God has a beard?!)
Imuslim, it's kind of odd to me then that God gets credit for a good thing (like when one little kid doesn't die in a tornado), but is let off the hook for bad stuff (when 2 other kids die in the same tornado). Teflon God?
"like Winona Ryder pockets make-up in a department store"
GUFFAW
Just when you thought everyone forgot about that pesky klepto problem!
I am with Paula. If God gave us free will and leaves us to our own devices to do what we will, why are the Churches so big on praying to him to ask for help/guidance/miracles?
Either he helps and takes the credit for the good stuff and bad stuff or he has cut and run.
"why are the Churches so big on praying to him to ask for help/guidance/miracles?"
Because religion is the opiate of the people and it is a way of controlling the masses.
Come on, Lucy, you knew that...
:o)>
I think it was Ellen (or some other hilarious comic) who said it best..
rappers get up there after singing songs about smacking the bitch and screwing her from behind, and they step up to the podium and say "I'd like to thank the Lord God Almighty for this" ...
God certainly has interesting taste in music ;-)
Love me some Helen Mirren.
heath - I always thought of god as more of a Diana Ross type person although i guess he could be snoop doggy dogging behind the pearly gates.
mark - It is still OK to burn virgins right? *Hovers match over the pope*
Hey Paula, Lucy, peeps...
Seeing as this is an important topic, i'll start with the words: Bismillah hirahma niraheem, which mean, "In the Name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful".
Imuslim, it's kind of odd to me then that God gets credit for a good thing (like when one little kid doesn't die in a tornado), but is let off the hook for bad stuff (when 2 other kids die in the same tornado). Teflon God?
But where do the little children go, Paula?
We all die. Some young, some old, some in accidents, some in their beds, some rich, some dirt poor... but where do we all end up?
The belief in an afterlife is a key part of the equation. A child dying or being saved is not the issue, really, when you consider the bigger picture of this life being temporary; a test for all of us.
If a child was saved from the tornado, but then grew up to be the next Hitler, where's the happily ever after?
We don't know why everything happens like it does, as we have no idea of the consequences of every little act, thought or decision. God does, however. So we trust in His Perfect Will.
I'll try to find an article that better explains what i'm trying to say... apologies for any confusion.
If God gave us free will and leaves us to our own devices to do what we will, why are the Churches so big on praying to him to ask for help/guidance/miracles?
That is a good question, and i hope my answer does it justice.
Firstly, none of us has free will, but rather, free choice. This might seem like nit-picking, but it is important to know the difference.
Our wills are limited. For example, i want to submit this comment. That is my will. However, Blogger keeps rejecting it, thus my will has been denied, proving it has limits.
Choice, on the other hand, is free. I chose to submit the comment, rightly or wrongly. Even though it didn't go through as i wanted, but i still made the choice to take that course of action.
That is why, in Islam, one is only accountable for actions committed through free choice; we are not held accountable if we have been forced into sin. For example, if one was to be forced to say "i disbelieve in God", under torture, which has happened to many believers in the past and present.
So now we know about choice, we have to know about the decisions.
In Islam, there are two important decisions to be made. The first regards belief in God. The second regards submission to God, that is, by following Islam.
That is why no-one can be forced to accept Islam; it is impossible. One can only be a Muslim if one makes a free choice to believe in God, and submit their lives to His Will.
Part of following Islam, is knowing that although God put us on this Earth as a test, He did not leave us to face the trials alone. Only with His support can we succeed in this life. So we pray, and ask for His Help. It would be arrogant of us not to.
So part of the free choice humans have, is to turn to God and ask for assistance, guidance and strength. Free choice and God's Help are not conflicting in that regard.
I hope my answer made sense, God-willing.
rappers get up there after singing songs about smacking the bitch and screwing her from behind, and they step up to the podium and say "I'd like to thank the Lord God Almighty for this"
That is just silly... how can anyone dare to thank God for helping them to be foul mouthed! I wonder who's been smacking whom for them to come out with such nonsense. May God guide them, and us!
Best wishes,
iM
Thank you for the explanation, iMuslim. You are a pleasure to talk to. I can see how belief in an afterlife would change how one views these things. I am one of those who chooses not to believe in God/afterlife. It is an interesting idea (and one I'd not heard before) that God may be culling out some baddies by killing off kids because of course he would know what they would do if allowed to live. This probably isn't much comfort to their parents, however, but maybe some accept that. And it also leads a nonbeliever like myself to wonder why he doesn't get rid of ALL the baddies in this way, but I guess if you are a believer you trust that he has reasons for not doing so.
I had a feeling my example might not be the best! But there are many reasons why it is better for someone to die now, then later. I was just naming one... it's not what is normally preached!
I cannot imagine the pain felt by a parent losing a child. However, there is a wonderful narration from the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) that says the child will come on the Day of Judgement and intercede for his/her parents. Basically he will whine and moan at God to let his parents go with him into Paradise, until God says "Oh OK then!". (I'm paraphrasing of course!)
Also, a parent who has lost more than two children, and remains patient, is guaranteed Paradise as a reward.
In addition, there is a special place in the Barzak (which is the place where souls reside after they die, but before the Day of Judgement) which is just for children. They don't experience any suffering there as they died before the age that one is held accountable for one's actions (puberty).
So, when a believer realizes all these things, it becomes a little easier to bear the pain, God-willing.
Why not kill off all the baddies? Well, that comes back to this life being a test; the Earth was never meant to be a carefree paradise... here we experience both sorrow and joy. In the afterlife, it's purely one or the other. Which one it is depends on the choices we make.
*Hovers match over the pope*
What makes you think the Pope is a virgin??
;o)>
With that fashion sense no woman would come within a mile of him,
Who said anything about female partners??
;o)>
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