Thursday 26 April 2007

Cats Suck.

When i was a small girl, we briefly took in a cat for a relative who was going away to Scotland or some such hell-hole for a few weeks. The idea of a joyful, bundle of fur to play with soon lost it's sheen as it slowly dawned on me, along with scratches, that cats and I are not compatible.
It seems that more people are coming to the same conclusion because the RSPCA has asked us to stop dumping our felines with them.
The animal Charity has coughed up a furball in horror at the number of cats it is being called upon to rescue which account for over a third of all their unwanted pets.
"Sadly, there do now seem to be cycles in which one pet is more fashionable than another," says an animal inspector taking a short break from litter tray duty no doubt, "It could be that handbag dogs or pit bull-type animals are in fashion and that could leave no room for a cat in the home. We have even had cats handed in because they didn't match the new carpet."
Just think if we could extend that decor logic to men.
I'm sorry but your pasty white skin clashes with my magnolia walls. It's over.
And take your bloody horrible cat with you.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, considering your PM, I'd guess that British tastes run more toward lapdogs.

Cats are great. Unlike dogs, though, you have to know how to make friends with one. They're pickier than dogs. They don't just cuddle up with ANYBODY. When you make friends with a cat, you know you've been a friend. When you make friends with a dog, you know you've fed it.

Anonymous said...

I love the idea of owning a cat - but i've never had any pets, 'cept goldfish (which i managed to kill, very easily). So i fear that it might be too much for me to handle, and i would not like to dump the poor, lil critter onto anyone else. So i will just have to admire from afar, for now.

Daniel said...

I too must admit to having a non-love affair with cats too, Lucy. And, quite often, it extends to those who love cats.

Obviously certain personality types are attracted to cats while others are repelled by them. As a small boy I rescued a bird which a cat was playing with. The bird died soon after as did my feelings towards them.

It would be interesting to see a study done on this! Cheers.

Paula said...

My cats love to cuddle with me! I like dogs too, but not slobbery or scary ones. There was an article today in the L.A. Times about how the shelters here have to kill thousands of unwanted, unweaned kittens every year. Sad.

Falling on a bruise said...

I don't know what it is, could be that cats sense my uneasiness around them, but we just do not see eye to eye. Dogs and most other pets i have no problem with but cats just seem to see me as a scratching post.

Anonymous said...

Nice post,Lucy!
I'm with lucy and Dan... I can't stand cats or ppl that love them....Came about due to my treating (and trying to save) wildlife that almost got eaten by them. In most cases possums and birds died due to bacterial infection from ONE scratch from the little kitties claws.
Then ppl say "my cat wouldn't do that"
Well.....your little kittie has a biological hunting instinct and will hunt no-matter how much you feed it or love it!
Grrrr....If they saw what I have seen they would atleast keep them inside or in a run!
If it were up to me....I'd put a bounty on their head!

Zoe XXX

Cody Bones said...

I'm with you Lucy, Cat's and I have never seen eye to eye, but dogs and I get along swimmingly. BTW, my avatar is my dog. I LOVE Golden Retrievers.

O' Tim said...

I grew up with a cat in the house and for many years could have been considered a "cat person." I still like cats if they're not too skittish, mean or aloof. But I think somewhere along the way my macho instincts kicked in to have an animal companion that could be trained effectively and keep up with me in the outdoors. So now I'm all about some dogs (two in particular).

Cheezy said...

I think cats are like people i.e. some suck and some rock. And most of us like having our tummies rubbed :)

Anonymous said...

Blaming cats because they're hunters? Why not just take it to the source and get pissed at God about it?

Cats have an innate hunting instinct that they cannot get rid of or ignore. We can rise above any hunting instinct that we have (although many of us to not try to), so if you want to put a bounty out on the cats because they hunt, then I suggest that you and the mirror have a long talk.

Now, I love dogs, but I love AND respect cats. Dogs are too sycophantic for respect in most cases.

Jodie Kash said...

I think cats are attracted to people who are not fond of cats the same way babies and sticky toddlers flock to those without much of the maternal, baby-loving gene.

I am verifiable proof of this.

Anonymous said...

My friend's favourite e-mail signature is:

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
Robert Heinlein

It always makes me smile, when i read it!

Kos said...

Gotta admit, I'm not a cat person. Never have been. I don't hate them, I'm just not interested in them. Lucky for me my wife is allergic to cats, so we'll never have one.

Paula said...

I understand disliking cats, but hating people who like them? That seems a bit whacked.

The Fez Monkey said...

Now, I don't have anything against cats. Other thany my allergies, but let's be honest, cats are simply inherently inferior to dogs in every way.

I mean, you never hear a dog person try and pimp out their pooch by saying "He really does act like a cat!" whereas the opposite is always the claim of a cat person who wants to tell you how great their kitty is.

Ook ook

Anonymous said...

I've heard you say that before, Fez, and it's still crap. Just because you heard some twit say it there in Twitsville, that doesn't mean we all do it. And the person you heard do it was probably just trying to give you a perspective that he/she thought you'd be able to relate to.

Dog people like dogs because dogs are bootlickers. As Mark Twain said "The ONLY creature that cannot be made the slave of the lash is the cat." That fact just bugs some people no end, because they can't have the control they want.

So there. Nyah. :-)

The Fez Monkey said...

Joe -

I think you may need a vacation. Or maybe just spend more time with dogs. You seem a bit over aggro.

Bow wow

Anonymous said...

Damn, Fez, I put the smilie at the end so that you wouldn't go there.

BTW, I'm 41 and can count my dogless years on one hand. Cats are still smarter.

Cody Bones said...

Smart has never meant likeable Joe

Jack Steiner said...

If I never saw another cat again I wouldn't notice, nor cry.

Cazzie!!! said...

Wetting myself with laughetr here. May have to visit you again, off of KOTGD.

Falling on a bruise said...

All welcome here cazzie as long as you don't bring a cat. They are not that popular here it seems.

Anonymous said...

"Smart has never meant likeable Joe "


Spoken like a true Republican, Cody! :-)