Sunday 22 April 2007

Happy B'day Queenie

I was once asked to write an article titled "What's wrong with the Monarchy". I replied that the newspaper only had 48 pages and i would never be able to fit it all in.
I had planned to write a post about Elizabeth II celebrating her 83rd Birthday today but apart from being curtseyed at and waving, the Queen doesn't actually do or say much. So to commemorate Her Maj's surviving another year on the planet, here are some of her hubby's greatest gaffs.
"If you stay here much longer you'll all get slitty eyed." speaking to British students in China. "You are a woman, aren't you?" to a Kenyan woman who had just given him a gift.
"You can't have been here that long. You haven't got a pot belly." to a Brit in Budapest.
"You managed not to get eaten, then?" to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea.:
"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" to a driving instructor in Scotland.
"Aren't you descended from pirates?" to a Cayman Islander.
"It looks like it was put in by Indians." after seeing a fusebox in Edinburgh.
"If it has got four legs and isn't a chair, if it has got two wings and isn't a plane, and if it swims and isn't a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." at a World Wildlife Fund meeting.
"Do you still throw spears at each other?" to an Aborigine in Australia.
"So you can write then?" to a 14 year old who had written to the Queen inviting her to visit Essex.

6 comments:

Cody Bones said...

But at least he has a sense of humor, right?

Falling on a bruise said...

Has he ever got a sense of humour. I quite like the old git. At least he is entertaining.

Cheezy said...

And that's a fair call about the Essex girl, surely? :-)

Anonymous said...

He sounds like a twat to me!

Falling on a bruise said...

If you think he is a twat Zoe you should meet his children!

The Fez Monkey said...

If it has got four legs and isn't a chair, if it has got two wings and isn't a plane, and if it swims and isn't a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.

Insensitive, maybe. But damned if the old bastard wasn't dead-on right about this. Even my Chinese friends wouldn't argue the point.

Ook ook