Beating The Aussies

One of our most enjoyable past times is making fun of those people known as Australians. Probably more than any other nation on the planet us Brits and those down under have a history of trying to get one over on each other. They call us POMS, we call them beer swilling sheep bothering yobs but it is all done in jest but the ante has been raised and slap my didgeridoo with a boomerang, even the Governments are at it now.
Britain's culture secretary, Andy Burnham, began it by saying Britain look like they will finish above Australia in the Olympic medal table. A quick look at the last Olympic Table will show Australia finished fourth while we rode in tenth but since then we have spent £235m of lottery and public funds in Team GB and have earmarked 41 medals in Beijing.
Not one to duck a challenge, the Australian Sports minister, a sheila called Kate Ellis, put down her can of Fosters long enough to slur that "The English to this point haven't really been up there with us , but I'm not sure that they're ready to pip us just yet" and challenged her tormentor to a wager.
They agreed the loser should suffer the indignity of having to wear opposition colours the next time Britain and Australia met on the sports field.
Of course I just hope that it is a good games and may the best man or woman win regardless of whether they are one of our fine upstanding British athletes or one of the descendants of our criminals fluking a medal.
In the best tradition of Anglo-Aussie relations i hope we do beat them in the table and will mention it continuously for the next 4 years but if we don't, in another fine Anglo tradition, i will delete this post and deny any knowledge of ever saying it in the first place in much the same manner as we do with the cricket.