Friday, 8 August 2008

Beating The Aussies

One of our most enjoyable past times is making fun of those people known as Australians. Probably more than any other nation on the planet us Brits and those down under have a history of trying to get one over on each other. They call us POMS, we call them beer swilling sheep bothering yobs but it is all done in jest but the ante has been raised and slap my didgeridoo with a boomerang, even the Governments are at it now.
Britain's culture secretary, Andy Burnham, began it by saying Britain look like they will finish above Australia in the Olympic medal table. A quick look at the last Olympic Table will show Australia finished fourth while we rode in tenth but since then we have spent £235m of lottery and public funds in Team GB and have earmarked 41 medals in Beijing.
Not one to duck a challenge, the Australian Sports minister, a sheila called Kate Ellis, put down her can of Fosters long enough to slur that "The English to this point haven't really been up there with us , but I'm not sure that they're ready to pip us just yet" and challenged her tormentor to a wager.
They agreed the loser should suffer the indignity of having to wear opposition colours the next time Britain and Australia met on the sports field.
Of course I just hope that it is a good games and may the best man or woman win regardless of whether they are one of our fine upstanding British athletes or one of the descendants of our criminals fluking a medal.
In the best tradition of Anglo-Aussie relations i hope we do beat them in the table and will mention it continuously for the next 4 years but if we don't, in another fine Anglo tradition, i will delete this post and deny any knowledge of ever saying it in the first place in much the same manner as we do with the cricket.

30 comments:

Cody Bones said...

Keep an eye on your basketball team, you have 2 of the Chicago Bulls best players, Luol Deng, and Ben Gordon. You might have a shot at a medal for the first time in that sport.

iMuslim said...

"but if we don't, in another fine Anglo tradition, i will delete this post and deny any knowledge of ever saying it in the first place in much the same manner as we do with the cricket"

hahahaha

Anonymous said...

Lucy,

As a Texan it seems easier to relate to Aussies than Brits. I'm pulling for Australia... unless David G. is pulling for UK. Then I'll change sides to be like David G.

Q

Lucy said...

Why do Texans relate to Aussies easier than Brits? Is it the BBQ thing?

Lucy said...

Cody - As you are a Bulls fan and we have 2 of the best Bulls players, can i expect you to be sitting in your home wearing your Union Flag shorts and supporting GB?

Cody Bones said...

I practically live in my Union Flag undershorts. I got them at a Def Leppard show in 1984, they have held up remarkably well.

David G said...

Britain has as much chance of beating Australia in the medal count as it has of resurrecting its old Empire. Must be all that warm beer!

Hopefully the dangerous U.S. Empire is now in its death throes and will suffer a similar fate: that of being a has-been.

Cheers.

Anonymous said...

First let me say, I will agree with David g. He is amazing. An expert in every field... including sport, history, empire building, temperature, and even beer.

Lucy, I think the BBQ thing is it. I'm not kidding.

Q

David G said...

Dear Anonymouse, the only field I suspect that you are expert in is being a pain in the ass!

Why don't you put your brain (such as it is) into gear for a change and try to think of something meaningful to say or, if that's too hard, something that might add to the discussion.

Cheers.

Anonymous said...

David g.

I find it difficult to disagree with you. It does help when you clarify your enlightening statements.

For instance, I was thinking about your previous post. The one where the evil US empire fails and is replaced. Are you saying that the world needs China or Russia to step up? You know, the world needs the leadership of some nice autocratic empire...

We could really use some enlightenment?

Q

Anonymous said...

David g.,

I don't claim to be an expert in any field. I do recognize your expertise...

I must admit I'm confused. Before, when I disagreed with you I found your responses to be mean spirited and insulting. I'm confused because now because I'm getting mean spirited and insulting responses for agreeing with you.

Q

Lucy said...

I was only kidding about the BBQ thing, couldn't see what else Texans and Australians had in common apart from the sun.

Cheezy said...

"couldn't see what else Texans and Australians had in common apart from the sun."

And right-wing politicians? ;-)

Hey, here's an amusing fact that I like to remind people of... 'Year Zero' in Australian sport was 1984, the year of the Los Angeles Olympics... I know it seems unbelievable now, but that was the Olympics in which little old New Zealand finished above Australia in the medal table. (It was also around this time that NZ was regularly dicking them at rugby, cricket, football, netball, anyotherball, etc, etc...)

Basically, the blow to the Aussie psyche was so massive that it was discussed in Parliament in great depth, and the upshot was they decided to they decided to throw gazillions of dollars into sport, so such an embarrassment never happened again. Thus, the Australian Institute of Sport was founded.

A few years later - hey presto - and Australia starts to become a real sporting world power.

All very good, I suppose. Still, no one likes a swot ;-)

Lucy said...

Funnily enough we have been also regularly dicked by New Zealand at Cricket & rugby for years also.

Cheezy said...

Actually, in terms of cricket, since 1986 New Zealand has only won one test series against England (out of 8)... (yes, I am a sad 'stats geek')...

I agree with you that the kiwis certainly do better at rugby... (particularly when it's not a World Cup year)...

Anonymous said...

Lucy,

Maybe it is that, like Texans, Aussies are less refined than Brits.

Except for those goofy guys with flags that award points in Aussie style football. They seem all uptight and formal.

Q

Lucy said...

Thanks Cheezy, i didn't realise that we bash them all the time at cricket. Ha, in your face Kiwi's.

Aussies being less refined i go along with Q but as the only Texans i know are you and George Bush i will have to bow to your knowledge on that one.

Anonymous said...

Lucy,

Nog is from Texas. Plus, you might know Willie Nelson, LBJ, Buddy Holly, ZZ Top, Howard Hughes, Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather, Admiral Nimitz, Babe Didrikson Zaharias, T. Boone Pickens, Roy Orbison, H. Ross Perot, Red Adair, Janus Joplin, Lee Harvey Oswald, Jayne Mansfield, Gene Roddenberry, Sissy Spacek, Michael Dell, Lance Armstrong, Carol Burnett, Joan Crawford, Sam Donaldson, Gen. Eisenhower, Farah Fawcett, George Foreman, Jamie Foxx, Ben Hogan, Tommy Lee Jones, Steve Martin, Auddie Murphy, Oilver North, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Renee Zellweger, Don Henley, Scott Joplin, or Bob Wills?

Q

annie said...

Mess with Texas!

Don't forget your (adopted) governor and president, Q...how proud you must all be of him.

Lucy said...

I do know quite a few of them Q, i did seem to recall Nog being Texan but wasn't sure enough to include him and risk his wrath if he wasn't. Some good singers from your state, and Willie Nelson as well as an admiral named after an aircraft carrier. Now to list famous people from my birthplace of Hampshire you might know. Erm...

David G said...

"Aussies are less refined than Brits." Really!

Because some British people tend to adopt superior airs and graces doesn't make them refined. Just up themselves!

That's why we Aussies love to thrash them at sport. We even fight their wars for them too.

Cheers.

Lucy said...

We are 9th to your 6th at the moment david and i don't seem to remember Australia being that successful at Track & Field events. I fear it is going to be crying in Canberra, sobbing in Sydney and blubbing in Brisbane when we overhaul you.

David G said...

There's more likely to be bawling in Bristol, howling in Hampshire and wailing in Wales, Lucy!

Cheers!

Lucy said...

They always wail in Wales anyway, i think it's all the leek soup.

annie said...

p.s. I can't help myself, I have to point out that Joplin's first name is Janis, not Janus. Janus is a global investing company.

Anonymous said...

Annie,

You win annual award for speeling. Which is appropriate...

Q

annie said...

Q~it has more to do with respecting someone enough to spell their name correctly, than my (admitted) spelling neurosis.

besides, if you proudly name her as a native daughter of texas, then have the decency to get her name right.

Anonymous said...

Annie,

I'm not proud of Janos Juplin. She was a drug head that overdosed - more like a Californian. I was just listing some Texans that I thought Lucy might recognize.

q

PS - Oops mispeelled my own name...

annie said...

she was also one soulful broad.
something i am certain you could never relate to. ironically, my local station played a killer live version of ball and chain on my way home from work today.

p.s.
you sound like one cold-hearted human, q. no compassion for your fellow humans, unless they are like you. the perfect republican! (addiction is a disease, dude. just ask g.w.b.)

Anonymous said...

Annie,

Your certainty is based on hubris.

You sound like a perfect far left facist. No shortage of personal attacks ready to fly from your fingertips either...

Q