Friday 5 February 2010

Chelsea Thug Out, Man Utd Thug In

Husband, father and Chelsea defender, John Terry, has been dropped as England football captain following the revelations of his affair and the subsequent impregnation, abortion and secrecy contracts with the former partner of his England team-mate and best friend. Whether Terry's wife will drop him is not yet clear but the hardest decision England manager Fabio Capello must have had to make was which paragon of virtue in the side was he going to hand the captaincy to now if 'off-field' misadventures bar a player from the position.
The Italian's choice was Rio Ferdinand who only served a eight month ban and £50,000 fine for failing to take a drugs test, a year long ban for drink driving and the starring role in a group-sex video.
Frank Lampard may have come in for consideration, after all his misdemeanours just include the small matter of appearing in the aforementioned video with Ferdinand, drunkenly mocking American tourists about 9/11 at Heathrow Airport the day after the event (along with John Terry) and being arrested for a nightclub brawl (which also involved John Terry) and resulted in a doorman being injured.
Ashley Cole is another England stalwart who must have come close to being handed the captains armband, it's unlikely that he's adventures with a hairdresser in the back of her car (stopping only to vomit apparently) soon after his wedding to Cheryl would be a negative factor.
There is always Wayne Rooney to consider, i distinctly recall the 52 year old PVC clad mother of 7 (and grandmother to a further 16) he visited in a Liverpool brothel saying he had lots of energy.
Glen Johnson is another choice with only a shoplifting charge for stealing bathroom accessories from B&Q against his good name.
Another obvious option would be David Beckham who after his move to Real Madrid, hired Rebecca Loos as his 'Personal Assistant' who assisted him no end during their four month affair.
If none of the older members are acceptable, how about the next generation of footballer, players like Micah Richards who used his phone to record himself and his friend having sex with a girl and which was on the mobile phones of all of his friends and most of his Manchester City team-mates within hours.
Such a shame Sven Goran Erickson isn't the manager anymore, if he had spent as much time on the job as he spent on the job when his girlfriend wasn't looking, we would have won everything in sight.
What a fine example the professional footballers are when they represent the Queen and country.
Actually, considering what the Royal family have got up to over the years, footballers are rank amateurs compared to them.

2 comments:

Nog said...

Does anyone actually expect athletes to behave themselves? I don't.

Although an exception must be made here. Killing one's wife (OJ) or dog-fighting (Vick) or doping is expected; but "impregnating the wife of one's best friend" is a capital violation of man law. I'd say he should more than have his man card revoked. We'd give him to womankind, but y'all probably wouldn't want him.


-Nog

Falling on a bruise said...

I don't expect athletes to be angels but whatever the profession, knocking off and knocking up the girlfriend of your best pal and colleague is pretty low behaviour. It did make me smile when they took the captaincy away because of his behaviour off the pitch because who could they give it to who had a clean record in the team?