Look Out Below

Take a good look at the photograph of the satellite over there on the left just so you recognise the hulking great lump of metal that could be smashing its way through your roof next Friday.
NASA's six and half tonne Upper Atmospheric Research Satellite (UARS) is returning home the quick way and they are predicting that it could land anywhere south of the Arctic and north of the Antarctic which doesn't really narrow it down any but the boffins at NASA are not overly concerned, 'Look at how much of Earth is covered with water' one said, 'There's a really good chance it's going to go straight into the ocean.'
NASA are keeping a close watch on the falling satellite, but will only be able to pinpoint its actual crash zone to within about 6,000 miles about two hours before re-entry and put the chances of one of us humans being brained by the orbitally challenged object as 1-in-3,200 which makes it more likely that on the 23rd you will be killed in a car accident (1 in 100) or die in a fire (1-in-1,116).
If by a twist of fate you do wake up to find a smouldering piece of space junk in your kitchen, you are not allowed to keep it or sell it on eBay, as it remains the property of the US government which is also the place to send your roofing bill to.
For the latest information on which country needs to issue warning to its citizens to don hard hats, the NASA website are posting updates on where and when but i have my fingers crossed for 10 Downing Street.