Tory Cuts Makes Heir To Throne Redundant

The surprising thing about the news that the search and rescue service is being sold off is that anyone is surprised about it, this is what the Conservatives do, if it isn't nailed down they flog it as we learned last time they had the keys to number 10.
Now an American firm has waved £1.6bn under the nose of the Government and before you can say 'cash only please' the RAF and Royal Navy have been bundled out the door and it's the private company Bristow helicopters that will be plucking us off mountains.
The privatisation of such a vital service is going to be controversial, quite how making profit and rescuing people go together will be interesting, we can only await the news of a death caused by cost cutting but a nice angle is the heir to the throne could be made redundant.
Not from his job as the next bum on the royal throne of course, but as a search and rescue pilot, his job is on the line along with all the other pilots but he need not despair, what a great opportunity to combine the Conservatives favourite pastime, selling things, and reducing the cost of the family who take us for £200m each year, let's sell off the royals.
It's a win/win because even if we don't get much for the Queen, her husband and other assorted Royals (nobody would pay for Edward or Anne but Harry should fetch a few quid), we save tens of millions in not paying out for her waving tours of the nation.
America seem to like our Royals, maybe we could get a delegation up and offer the Queen and we could throw in Andrew and Fergie to sweeten the deal.
Australia is a land in need of a monarch and i'm sure if we offered Charles and Camilla to them they would take them, especially if we throw in a crate of cold ones but to be fair we could offer them chlamydia and they would take it if it came with a six pack of Fosters.
The remaining minor Royals could be sold to a collection of Pacific islands so they can rotate when they get bored with them or Harry has drank the place dry.
We should keep William and Kate though, one because he knows how to fly a helicopter and that always comes in handy and two because Kate likes to strip off and pose for the paparazzi and we can make a few pound from the photos. Every little helps